A man in my family once told me that no woman on the planet should be allowed to wear yoga pants, because that's what's attractive to him. He doesn't want to have sexual thoughts in public, so we should all dress in a way that he doesn't find attractive.
Firstly; that fetus is very temperamental. If you're not careful about that small fact, you could easily kill the patient (meaning the pregnant person). It is so easy not to keep that fetus in mind and cause a lethal complication. It's not prioritizing a fetus over the main person; it's litterly saving the persons life ffs. Secondly, for an X-ray, they'll just put a led shield on your stomach. It's that simple. For medication, there are types that have a similar effect without being harmful to fetuses. For treatments, we just monitor more closely and change minor things. Please give me some examples of actual sub-par care you received because you were pregnant. Third, patients like you are the reason why sexism in the medical field still thrives. The more patients with uteruses lie to medical professionals, the more many of them distrust patients and mistreat symptoms. Fourth, please do not lie to your medical professionals. We can't give you proper treatment if you lie to us. We lose pateints all the time because they lied to us, fearing the consequences.
If the "similar, but pregnancy-safe" medications were the best option, they'd be the standard of care. Even if the pregnancy-safe option is just slightly less effective, that's still a priority shift to keeping the fetus healthy over the woman.
How tf did you misread my entire thing. A MISCARRIAGE OR PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS WILL KILL THE PATIENT END OF STORY IT IS NOT ABOUT THE FETUS ITS ABOUT NOT KILLING THE PATEINT
Do you have a source that specifically says that the patient consented to the medications he gave her to halt her abortion? Because the only non-catholic source I can find says that she consistently asked for an abortion, and she felt that the hospital staff wasn't listening to her. It should absolutely be a crime to give your patient a drug they don't want, and to ignore their wishes for their body if those wishes contradict your own.
You're allowed to grieve because you don't have access to a time machine. All the new information that is making you doubt yourself now, you didn't have when you decided to abort.
No Cis men, enforced by an active guard at the door, because the dangerous men WOULD disregard the policy and enter the building unless they were physically stopped from doing so.
Can you explain why the same USA politicians who oppose abortion also oppose no-fault divorce? And why some of the same states have laws blocking divorce paperwork from going through if the woman is pregnant? If these politicians didn't intend to use pregnancy against women, then the only laws that policed women's freedom in marriage would be the ones specifically related to pregnancy.
I didn't say their brain needed a certain level of generic development, I said they needed to have a brain with the current capacity for human-level thinking; a human-shaped brain, if you will. Zygotes and Embryos (and some fetuses) don't have those structures yet.
But how do we define "human level thinking?" Do newborns have human level thinking? What about people with severe mental disabilities? Like if you're basing personhood off of "current capacity for human level thinking," I'm not sure that's the best way to do it. What about people in comas? Or people currently having a stroke, or recovering from a stroke? I don't think "capacity for human level thinking at this exact moment" is a good metric, due to the aforementioned examples, but you say we also shouldn't use capacity in the future, so what time frame is acceptable?
Respectfully, you need to reach out and tell people what you need, and not expect them to read your mind or anticipate your responses to your own trauma. I recently had a family member blow up, bitter that no one had spontaneously reached out to her, but she hid her emotional struggles so well that no one really knew she needed help above the normal texts and chats.
I haven't shaved my pits in 4 years. Sometimes I trim the hair to keep the pit stains on my shirts to s minimum, but there's no reason to shave it if the men in my life aren't shaving theirs.
I was in HS in the 2000's and I would absolutely do my homework on the bus; memorize 20 vocab words before an english test, skim-read 2 chapters of history, etc. I was never the best student, but I was neuro-divergent and worked best under pressure, and I got a 3.1 GPA and went to college. I wouldn't call it "kids these days". Some kids just don't need that much time to put up mediocre grades (or even great grades).
My mom literally mentioned "failing as parents" to my dad when I left the house with unshaved armpits in my mid-20's. It's not about the appearance, it's about the perceived lack of obedience and conformity. Women can feel just as uncomfortable as men when the people around them defy even the most mundane expectations. They shame us in an attempt to encourage predictability. Or, they know that other people will shame us, and they'd rather teach us to play by the rules than see us be penalized by the system. Personally, I suspect my mom is a combination of the two motivations.
Because consent has to be informed and reversible. Most women in the USA give birth in a hospital or in the presence of someone else who will report the birth to the govenrment, and then the woman gives informed consent to become the child's parent, with the knowledge that they can give the child up to state custody if/when they want to. Pregnancy happens without consulting the woman, and very often happens without the woman being fully informed of the risks, and is not reversible without abortion.
Lol wtf did I just read? Do people really think this dramatically? Someone dieing because they're simply existing next to a child????? You need therapy.
The GOP is already spreading the idea that all LGBT actions are inherently sexual and deviant. Is it really so hard to imagine them passing laws that allow people to report LGBT couples for 'committing sexual acts in front of a child' if they kiss or hold hands? We know that the GOP's voter base would love to see all LGBT people either reverted, silenced, or dead; scaring couples out of PDA is a good start.
If you think she deserves to risk her life in pregnancy for the crime of not telling someone else (the man) to control his sperm, then I'd love to hear what equally life-threatening consequence you believe should be levered against the man who ejaculated irresponsibly.
The GOP is trying to abolish 'no-fault divorce', which (among other things) allows women to divorce their abusive husbands without first proving the abuse in court. I'd say that removing a law we use to physically remove ourselves from dangerous situations counts as them trying to control our bodies.
Abortion does not refer to the fetus, it refers to the process that prematurely ends a pregnancy. You mom could have experienced a failed abortion and then given birth to you, but it is inaccurate to say "I am a failed abortion" the same way it's inaccurate to say "I am a failed heart surgery". You are not a medical procedure and never have been a medical procedure, and abortion is a medication procedure.
I completely understand that leaving a marriage is hard, and the idea of parenting on your own is separately hard, and the idea of budgeting to be a single mom is a third impossible challenge. But please consider the kind of relationship you're modelling for your children, the kind of partner you're silently advising them to choose when they're grown. Please consider that they might develop and anxiety disorder from your husband's constant screaming. Please look into leaving his abusive ass. This community wishes you all the luck in the world!
I taught myself nearly everything I know about reproduction and about LGBT labels/experiences, and I learned those things without a guidebook, so I knew what intersex meant before I knew what the cervix was. There was some time when I thought I might have been born intersex because I could feel my cervix with my finger, and I thought it was an under-developed penis.
Pregnant people dont do anything - the pregnancy ends on its own a third of the time and then proceeds unless she gets medical care to end it. There is literally nothing to do, nor nothing she is legally required to do, to take care of a fetus.
This CAN be true of any pregnancy, but there are also plenty of patients who make changes to support their growing fetus- eating healthier, taking vitamins, avoiding alcohol/drugs, etc. There's also an entire specialty of medicine (fetal surgery) where the pregnant person gets surgery solely because it would benefit their fetus before it is born. She is not legally required to do these things, but "there is literally nothing to do" is absolutely inaccurate to say of many modern pregnancies.
The second sentence is "I told [my husband] I was struggling with post-pardum". This is not a mom who is in denial or unaware, this is a mom who is not getting the help she's asking for. Please read things more carefully, especially before you berate someone who might already be struggling with guilt or a mental health condition.
I don't think you owe a child a second parent, but I do think you owe them a small village of adults they can trust to help when you aren't available, or help with things they don't want to tell you. IMO, it's also slightly irresponsible to not have a second adult legally and medically responsible for them, to make decisions in emergencies if you're unavailable (that second adult does not have to be your partner or family).
A man in my family once told me that no woman on the planet should be allowed to wear yoga pants, because that's what's attractive to him. He doesn't want to have sexual thoughts in public, so we should all dress in a way that he doesn't find attractive.
Firstly; that fetus is very temperamental. If you're not careful about that small fact, you could easily kill the patient (meaning the pregnant person). It is so easy not to keep that fetus in mind and cause a lethal complication. It's not prioritizing a fetus over the main person; it's litterly saving the persons life ffs. Secondly, for an X-ray, they'll just put a led shield on your stomach. It's that simple. For medication, there are types that have a similar effect without being harmful to fetuses. For treatments, we just monitor more closely and change minor things. Please give me some examples of actual sub-par care you received because you were pregnant. Third, patients like you are the reason why sexism in the medical field still thrives. The more patients with uteruses lie to medical professionals, the more many of them distrust patients and mistreat symptoms. Fourth, please do not lie to your medical professionals. We can't give you proper treatment if you lie to us. We lose pateints all the time because they lied to us, fearing the consequences.
If the "similar, but pregnancy-safe" medications were the best option, they'd be the standard of care. Even if the pregnancy-safe option is just slightly less effective, that's still a priority shift to keeping the fetus healthy over the woman.
How tf did you misread my entire thing. A MISCARRIAGE OR PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS WILL KILL THE PATIENT END OF STORY IT IS NOT ABOUT THE FETUS ITS ABOUT NOT KILLING THE PATEINT
Um... you wrote a lot, not just that sentiment. I was responding to this with my first paragraph:
Do you have a source that specifically says that the patient consented to the medications he gave her to halt her abortion? Because the only non-catholic source I can find says that she consistently asked for an abortion, and she felt that the hospital staff wasn't listening to her. It should absolutely be a crime to give your patient a drug they don't want, and to ignore their wishes for their body if those wishes contradict your own.
You're allowed to grieve because you don't have access to a time machine. All the new information that is making you doubt yourself now, you didn't have when you decided to abort.
No Cis men, enforced by an active guard at the door, because the dangerous men WOULD disregard the policy and enter the building unless they were physically stopped from doing so.
If you really think that pregnancy and birth is being used as a weapon against women, you have no idea what your opponents on the topic truly believe.
Can you explain why the same USA politicians who oppose abortion also oppose no-fault divorce? And why some of the same states have laws blocking divorce paperwork from going through if the woman is pregnant? If these politicians didn't intend to use pregnancy against women, then the only laws that policed women's freedom in marriage would be the ones specifically related to pregnancy.
I'm not OP, but I hold the same view, so:
I didn't say their brain needed a certain level of generic development, I said they needed to have a brain with the current capacity for human-level thinking; a human-shaped brain, if you will. Zygotes and Embryos (and some fetuses) don't have those structures yet.
But how do we define "human level thinking?" Do newborns have human level thinking? What about people with severe mental disabilities? Like if you're basing personhood off of "current capacity for human level thinking," I'm not sure that's the best way to do it. What about people in comas? Or people currently having a stroke, or recovering from a stroke? I don't think "capacity for human level thinking at this exact moment" is a good metric, due to the aforementioned examples, but you say we also shouldn't use capacity in the future, so what time frame is acceptable?
But how do we define "human level thinking?"
Respectfully, you need to reach out and tell people what you need, and not expect them to read your mind or anticipate your responses to your own trauma. I recently had a family member blow up, bitter that no one had spontaneously reached out to her, but she hid her emotional struggles so well that no one really knew she needed help above the normal texts and chats.
I haven't shaved my pits in 4 years. Sometimes I trim the hair to keep the pit stains on my shirts to s minimum, but there's no reason to shave it if the men in my life aren't shaving theirs.
I was in HS in the 2000's and I would absolutely do my homework on the bus; memorize 20 vocab words before an english test, skim-read 2 chapters of history, etc. I was never the best student, but I was neuro-divergent and worked best under pressure, and I got a 3.1 GPA and went to college. I wouldn't call it "kids these days". Some kids just don't need that much time to put up mediocre grades (or even great grades).
My mom literally mentioned "failing as parents" to my dad when I left the house with unshaved armpits in my mid-20's. It's not about the appearance, it's about the perceived lack of obedience and conformity. Women can feel just as uncomfortable as men when the people around them defy even the most mundane expectations. They shame us in an attempt to encourage predictability. Or, they know that other people will shame us, and they'd rather teach us to play by the rules than see us be penalized by the system. Personally, I suspect my mom is a combination of the two motivations.
Sure; he would be mourning the future he thought they were building together, and the potential child he was looking forward to meeting.
Because consent has to be informed and reversible. Most women in the USA give birth in a hospital or in the presence of someone else who will report the birth to the govenrment, and then the woman gives informed consent to become the child's parent, with the knowledge that they can give the child up to state custody if/when they want to. Pregnancy happens without consulting the woman, and very often happens without the woman being fully informed of the risks, and is not reversible without abortion.
"Discussing anything except these four things is a waste of time"
Lol wtf did I just read? Do people really think this dramatically? Someone dieing because they're simply existing next to a child????? You need therapy.
The GOP is already spreading the idea that all LGBT actions are inherently sexual and deviant. Is it really so hard to imagine them passing laws that allow people to report LGBT couples for 'committing sexual acts in front of a child' if they kiss or hold hands? We know that the GOP's voter base would love to see all LGBT people either reverted, silenced, or dead; scaring couples out of PDA is a good start.
If you think she deserves to risk her life in pregnancy for the crime of not telling someone else (the man) to control his sperm, then I'd love to hear what equally life-threatening consequence you believe should be levered against the man who ejaculated irresponsibly.
The GOP is trying to abolish 'no-fault divorce', which (among other things) allows women to divorce their abusive husbands without first proving the abuse in court. I'd say that removing a law we use to physically remove ourselves from dangerous situations counts as them trying to control our bodies.
Abortion does not refer to the fetus, it refers to the process that prematurely ends a pregnancy. You mom could have experienced a failed abortion and then given birth to you, but it is inaccurate to say "I am a failed abortion" the same way it's inaccurate to say "I am a failed heart surgery". You are not a medical procedure and never have been a medical procedure, and abortion is a medication procedure.
I completely understand that leaving a marriage is hard, and the idea of parenting on your own is separately hard, and the idea of budgeting to be a single mom is a third impossible challenge. But please consider the kind of relationship you're modelling for your children, the kind of partner you're silently advising them to choose when they're grown. Please consider that they might develop and anxiety disorder from your husband's constant screaming. Please look into leaving his abusive ass. This community wishes you all the luck in the world!
I taught myself nearly everything I know about reproduction and about LGBT labels/experiences, and I learned those things without a guidebook, so I knew what intersex meant before I knew what the cervix was. There was some time when I thought I might have been born intersex because I could feel my cervix with my finger, and I thought it was an under-developed penis.
Pregnant people dont do anything - the pregnancy ends on its own a third of the time and then proceeds unless she gets medical care to end it. There is literally nothing to do, nor nothing she is legally required to do, to take care of a fetus.
This CAN be true of any pregnancy, but there are also plenty of patients who make changes to support their growing fetus- eating healthier, taking vitamins, avoiding alcohol/drugs, etc. There's also an entire specialty of medicine (fetal surgery) where the pregnant person gets surgery solely because it would benefit their fetus before it is born. She is not legally required to do these things, but "there is literally nothing to do" is absolutely inaccurate to say of many modern pregnancies.
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The second sentence is "I told [my husband] I was struggling with post-pardum". This is not a mom who is in denial or unaware, this is a mom who is not getting the help she's asking for. Please read things more carefully, especially before you berate someone who might already be struggling with guilt or a mental health condition.
I don't think you owe a child a second parent, but I do think you owe them a small village of adults they can trust to help when you aren't available, or help with things they don't want to tell you. IMO, it's also slightly irresponsible to not have a second adult legally and medically responsible for them, to make decisions in emergencies if you're unavailable (that second adult does not have to be your partner or family).