I went to a feminist talk once where the speaker went into why women sometimes judge other women harshly (spoiler: it’s patriarchy), and how to reframe those thoughts in your mind.
It’s funny you say this, I was literally thinking about this yesterday. How I used to judge other women very harshly but as I’ve gotten older I, like you, reframed things in my head (knowing how insecure I can get). Now when I see something like this I genuinely mean it when I think “I love what she’s doing with her look!” Keep doing it and I bet you’ll start to genuinely mean those compliments!
Honestly it does work, actively trying to find the positive has made it way easier for my brain to just see the good stuff straight away. And so my obsession with women in general develops as my internalised misogyny dies!!
This is what I came to say. A lot of people cough, yawn, sniff, fiddle with their bag/clothes/hair as they walk past others. Some people think it’s an evolutionary thing, showing you’re not a threat.
So, there is something wrong, but you don’t feel like sharing that with her? In that case fine, but fix your mood so she’s not sitting in the bad vibes with you, with no explanation.
Mine changes, but I frequently come back to “Restless”. It has a filmic, Lynchian quality that’s just so haunting and refreshing for something that’s labeled a “teen drama.”
I left Twitter after I changed my profile pic to one of myself dressed down to stop men challenging my opinions based on ‘yeah you look so smart with your fake tits (wrong) and false eyelashes (also wrong, mascara is a thing)’. Within a day someone had screenshot my new, modest pp and posted a comment saying ‘why is it always ugly girls like this that have the loudest voices?’
If it helps my mum misheard and called him ‘Xandra’ for years after I made her watch it with me when I was a kid. That could totally work in case of future girl babies 😂
Last time I FaceTimed my granny she was in bed and showed me a tit because she had a weird bump on it. I confirmed it was a bug bite and we continued chatting. My family don’t have weirdness around nudity (although that side is Portuguese so they don’t have weirdness about anything really, they can be MORTIFYINGLY open)
What’s her sex drive like? Because every woman I’ve ever known since I was 16 is fine sleeping with other people in the bed. Every gay guy I know is horrified by pussy. If the gay guy wants to fuck, he can find a guy anywhere on Grindr.
Thank you. The majority of the replies here make me feel like I’ve lost my damn mind. I can’t think of three people less likely to fuck than two middle aged women and a gay guy. A gay guy who wasn’t ’discovered by accident in bed with them on a FaceTime call’, but whose presence was explained to OP by the girlfriend in a fiendishly clever plan to just tell him everything that was happening.
Are you kidding me?! They're in Mexico on a vacation. Probably getting drunk every night. Gay dude is probably passing out naked. He's waking up with a hard on or morning wood and either taking care of it himself, or he's getting help from someone (some two). Or, at the very worst, OP's gf is watching a dude parade around her with his cock out. Either way, I'd be pretty mad if that were my gf.
I don’t respect men who have a lot of sexual partners. I feel sorry for them because I suspect at heart they’re very lonely and cripplingly insecure & will have a real hard time when the party stops. But not respect.
Don’t worry an ex of mine saw a pic of me at about 11 and I was like ‘noooo I was such a weird looking kid don’t look!!’ And he said ‘I still would’ve fancied you if I met you back then’.
Maxi skirts or mid-length skirts can easily be dressed up for bars. A simple spaghetti strap or square neck vest top can be worn under a blouse, which you can remove once you’re out of the house.
NTA. If possible, try not to react at all for a couple of days and see what happens. If it looks like he’s going to escalate to continue getting a reaction from you then I’m afraid you need to leave.
I got a job at Buckingham Palace straight out of uni. We were told we’d be doing admin in private areas and customer service in public areas. During my uniform fitting they handed me a 10 page booklet of rules that included not dyeing my hair, removing my piercings, and never drinking alcohol the day before a shift (while working 6 days per week).
Has no one thought of taking his money before bringing his food? It might not be how things work at this restaurant, but I think it’s understandable to make an exception in his case.
“I always manage to get all my tasks done on time with plenty of time to recharge mid-shift. You ought to work on how effectively you’re managing your time, really”
Ehhh. I wasn’t super anti-LGBT because I was raised by liberals. However, I was one of those people who was like “why do girls date girls that look like men instead of men?” when I was younger. It’s funny considering how I’m the more masculine one in my relationship now.
I was quietly homophobic for most of my childhood and teens (grew up religious which definitely doesn’t not have anything to do with it). At uni became quietly tolerant. My brother came out while I was at uni & I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t as great about it as my mum was.
I talk to my mum every day for about an hour on the phone, and see her once or twice a week. I haven’t replied to any message from my dad since 2001 and will actively avoid being in the same place as him.
If you're in witness protection, don't go to the park and walk around feeding 200-300 ducks. Someone might start recording.
I’ve fed ducks when I was a kid and don’t remember it being a wild, cinematic situation.
Compliment other women randomly (as hard as it is with social anxiety).
I went to a feminist talk once where the speaker went into why women sometimes judge other women harshly (spoiler: it’s patriarchy), and how to reframe those thoughts in your mind.
It’s funny you say this, I was literally thinking about this yesterday. How I used to judge other women very harshly but as I’ve gotten older I, like you, reframed things in my head (knowing how insecure I can get). Now when I see something like this I genuinely mean it when I think “I love what she’s doing with her look!” Keep doing it and I bet you’ll start to genuinely mean those compliments!
Honestly it does work, actively trying to find the positive has made it way easier for my brain to just see the good stuff straight away. And so my obsession with women in general develops as my internalised misogyny dies!!
Sometimes people subconsciously do this when they pass others because they want to fill the silence or feel awkward not doing/saying anything
This is what I came to say. A lot of people cough, yawn, sniff, fiddle with their bag/clothes/hair as they walk past others. Some people think it’s an evolutionary thing, showing you’re not a threat.
So, there is something wrong, but you don’t feel like sharing that with her? In that case fine, but fix your mood so she’s not sitting in the bad vibes with you, with no explanation.
Mine changes, but I frequently come back to “Restless”. It has a filmic, Lynchian quality that’s just so haunting and refreshing for something that’s labeled a “teen drama.”
Restless is mine too! Seems to be a real polarising episode for the fandom in my experience
I left Twitter after I changed my profile pic to one of myself dressed down to stop men challenging my opinions based on ‘yeah you look so smart with your fake tits (wrong) and false eyelashes (also wrong, mascara is a thing)’. Within a day someone had screenshot my new, modest pp and posted a comment saying ‘why is it always ugly girls like this that have the loudest voices?’
I was gonna call my kid Xander if it was a boy but it wound up a girl. Called her Kaylee though so kinda the same universe.
If it helps my mum misheard and called him ‘Xandra’ for years after I made her watch it with me when I was a kid. That could totally work in case of future girl babies 😂
Its weird to just immediately hang up on him out if nowhere
It’s weird to assume incest rather than private conversation
It kind of depends on how you went about it.
Last time I FaceTimed my granny she was in bed and showed me a tit because she had a weird bump on it. I confirmed it was a bug bite and we continued chatting. My family don’t have weirdness around nudity (although that side is Portuguese so they don’t have weirdness about anything really, they can be MORTIFYINGLY open)
What’s her sex drive like? Because every woman I’ve ever known since I was 16 is fine sleeping with other people in the bed. Every gay guy I know is horrified by pussy. If the gay guy wants to fuck, he can find a guy anywhere on Grindr.
Thank you. The majority of the replies here make me feel like I’ve lost my damn mind. I can’t think of three people less likely to fuck than two middle aged women and a gay guy. A gay guy who wasn’t ’discovered by accident in bed with them on a FaceTime call’, but whose presence was explained to OP by the girlfriend in a fiendishly clever plan to just tell him everything that was happening.
Are you kidding me?! They're in Mexico on a vacation. Probably getting drunk every night. Gay dude is probably passing out naked. He's waking up with a hard on or morning wood and either taking care of it himself, or he's getting help from someone (some two). Or, at the very worst, OP's gf is watching a dude parade around her with his cock out. Either way, I'd be pretty mad if that were my gf.
Are you out of your porn-addled mind
I don’t respect men who have a lot of sexual partners. I feel sorry for them because I suspect at heart they’re very lonely and cripplingly insecure & will have a real hard time when the party stops. But not respect.
It’s not necessarily what I confessed, but I showed him my picture from 8th grade and he couldn’t handle that I used to look like I did in 8th grade.
Don’t worry an ex of mine saw a pic of me at about 11 and I was like ‘noooo I was such a weird looking kid don’t look!!’ And he said ‘I still would’ve fancied you if I met you back then’.
Maxi skirts or mid-length skirts can easily be dressed up for bars. A simple spaghetti strap or square neck vest top can be worn under a blouse, which you can remove once you’re out of the house.
I don’t know about you but I have never tried to get someone in the mood by demanding they get me off while I don’t touch them.
I wear Ghost’s Deep Night and it has always felt hella witchy to me. Musk and Amber always feel deep n goddessy to me
Shouldn’t this guy be in a Romanian prison
NTA. If possible, try not to react at all for a couple of days and see what happens. If it looks like he’s going to escalate to continue getting a reaction from you then I’m afraid you need to leave.
I got a job at Buckingham Palace straight out of uni. We were told we’d be doing admin in private areas and customer service in public areas. During my uniform fitting they handed me a 10 page booklet of rules that included not dyeing my hair, removing my piercings, and never drinking alcohol the day before a shift (while working 6 days per week).
Has no one thought of taking his money before bringing his food? It might not be how things work at this restaurant, but I think it’s understandable to make an exception in his case.
“I always manage to get all my tasks done on time with plenty of time to recharge mid-shift. You ought to work on how effectively you’re managing your time, really”
As an American, God I'm so thankful other countries are getting dragged for something. FINALLY. lol.
As a Brit, SAME
Ehhh. I wasn’t super anti-LGBT because I was raised by liberals. However, I was one of those people who was like “why do girls date girls that look like men instead of men?” when I was younger. It’s funny considering how I’m the more masculine one in my relationship now.
Ha I spent years arguing that all my boyfriends totally did NOT look like women, I just liked artistic guys.
I was quietly homophobic for most of my childhood and teens (grew up religious which definitely doesn’t not have anything to do with it). At uni became quietly tolerant. My brother came out while I was at uni & I’m ashamed to say I wasn’t as great about it as my mum was.
Ah my first crush, the boy who convinced me I was heterosexual.
I am another Dick lover! LOL
Me too! It’s literally what I know Ryan Reynolds from 😂
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I talk to my mum every day for about an hour on the phone, and see her once or twice a week. I haven’t replied to any message from my dad since 2001 and will actively avoid being in the same place as him.