Iâm the breadwinner too and i have to laugh when 99.9% of restaurants we go to automatically handy husband the check. I sometimes try to physically intercept to make a point. If I think about it too much it drives me batty.
A couple of people have said this or something similar but it is weird to me. They have to hand it to somebody and making a big deal about intercepting it or paying it feels like an inferiority complex to me. After all, presumably on some level even if you have separate accounts, the meal is coming out of the family budget.Â
The following is an excerpt from your citation under section 2. "A taxpayer spending $12,000 on mortgage interest and paying taxes at an income tax rate of 24% would be permitted to exclude $12,000 from income tax liability. This would result in a savings of $2,880, or 24% of $12,000. "
You are correct, but all of this supports my position. I'm not saying that getting itemized is much better than the standard deduction, because it doesn't really matter where the deduction comes from, only that you get it. But you do get to deduct all mortgage interest on up to $750k. Nothing you've shown refutes this. You're only showing that deducting a large amount doesn't mean you actually save that much. But that's taxes 101 right? Of course a deduction isn't a credit. When you get to deduct your traditional 401k contributions, no one expects to save $10k on $10k contributions. You just don't pay taxes on $10k, so you save more like $2400 (depending on your bracket). Well, same thing here, right?
No.  You seemed to indicate in your first post that the amount you are paying in mortgage interest will get you most of the way to the standard deduction and if you itemize, it will be more than the standard deduction.  Â
Of course she'll be fine. Mothers always find a way. Telling OP to just suck it up is shitty. As a mother who had to spend 12 hours in the hospital alone until my sister could fly in the next morning I know how much it sucks. I couldn't even have a friend stay with me because of covid. You should really work on your empathy.
I dropped down from AP Physics to regular physics in senior year. Literally what we learned in one quarter of AP Physics took us the whole rest of the year in regular physics. It was crazy. Needless to say, I coasted.Â
I 100% understand where you are coming from. I felt the same way and still do sometimes. Itâs hard to navigate relationships with people who have sacrificed the world for you on the one hand, but cut you the deepest on the other. Despite very real abuse and mistreatment I experienced growing up, I had to ask myself a series of very important questions like:
This is so thoughtful and well said as a child of African immigrants who thankfully were wonderful (though of course not perfect) parents of whom I have never doubted their love.
Itâs interesting to me that you say itâs your dream. My mom was a SAHM, but she was adamant while raising my sister and me that we would never âneedâ a man like she did. I think it was an ego hit to her (she started college but didnât finish, and was the only child of seven to not graduate, then moved to the Bay Area where mothers tend to be older and more educated).
For real. All I see in my industry (where you do have to work hard to move up and have to be educated etc.) is that the higher you go, the more demands of your time are made on the daily.
This is most industries I think. Â I donât understand how you can work up to a level where you get to pretend to work. That makes more sense at lower levels.
To devils advocate that, donât be surprised to lose when running someone hated and polarizing. Trump won because Hillary is hated, Biden won because trump was hated. Thems facts. Downvote away.
Biden won because Trump messed up with Covid. If he had shut up and kept his head down, Dems would have remained apathetic and Repubs would have come out in droves for their Lord and Savior.
I was going to say this, too. My kid is in a Montessori school, and it's almost entirely Hispanic and Asian. She's the only white kid in her room, and definitely the minority in the school. Sometimes I have to remind the teacher to put sunscreen on her, because she sometimes burns pretty quick.
I wonder if the attitude of a lot of these women is "if we make it look like we're limited by pregnancy, then men will say that we're not up to the job and take away our ability to be doctors." There's a pretty strong culture of keeping differences between men and women as quiet as possible, because it could be used against us later to justify poorer pay or in extreme cases not letting women into medical schools (currently an issue in Japan).
Don't Europeans have to repeat residency before they can practice ? That's if they even qualify. I've known immigrant physicians who don't want to repeat med school and just do nursing school instead. Their system is completely different isn't it?
I know it sounds weird, but I was much happier when I was in India because of the liveliness. Coming back to the US after spending months in India felt lonely and isolating and depressing. The individualism made it feel like there was less trust among individuals.
Exact same feeling I had on coming back from India. I felt a sense of community that I didnât feel in the US. Also could walk 5-10 min to my job, to get something to eat, to the shopsâŚ
Me and my child had different last names for some time until I got new ID (had been married for a few years but I was lazy about updating some of my IDs) so I was a bit paranoid butâŚyeah, maybe itâs a bit scary that they donât ask in that instance? Â
That's promising! I'm worried we'll get that one grumpy person that hates babies. đŹ The premium/first class tickets are a good idea though, I'll look into that next time!
Also regarding birth certificatesâŚI have 2 children. Both times when I filled out the forms for birth certificates, I asked them to send me two and paid whatever the extra charge was. That way I always have an official copy.
It's ok, I just had the experience. I went to medical school and I'm applying to residency training and i had difficult finding a doctor that will give me the opportunity to get more experience.
Of course. When weâre young, life is generally pretty good. Iâm speaking from a white male perspective. We get older and remember all the great things as a kid. We make a bunch of books, songs, movies, and TV shows that romanticize the era and young people think that time sounds way better.
Well, in my experience itâs mostly white girls who think they were âborn in the wrong generationâ, (myself included.) I guess we just donât think about the bad aspects of different time periods.. Like I love everything about the 1950s aesthetic, but I know women had pretty much no rights so I suppose I wouldnât actually want to go back. It just looks so dang fun in the movies.. Iâve also wished I was born in â67 so I could be a kid in the 1970s and a teen in the 1980s.
Another thing to consider is that if someoneâs an alcoholic and theyâre going to do it anyway until they decide to work on it isnât it better that they donât go quite so broke? Not saying it outweighs anything just a thought.
Who are these hordes of people interrogating yall about your finances and life? I see this complaint sometimes on reddit and I just wonder what circles demand you tell them... and also why you care about their opinions.
I guess what I am saying is that people may ask (but I have never encountered the seeming hordes demanding to know like the people who post this stuff do) but it is really easy to deflect or answer nonchalantly and most people will move on.Â
Yeah, you gotta be careful. There seems to be people uploading to YouTube who are specifically trying to trick the algorithm into showing content to children that is not appropriate by disguising it as children's content in the tags, etc.
Our road wasnât nearly as rough but I feel every bit of this. The constant emotional preparation for loss. It wasnât until I heard the babyâs cries did I truly believe this was real. And then I held my breath for the next four months to get past the highest risk of SIDS. Now Iâm finally able to hold my baby and believe heâs here to stay â¤ď¸
Iâm the breadwinner too and i have to laugh when 99.9% of restaurants we go to automatically handy husband the check. I sometimes try to physically intercept to make a point. If I think about it too much it drives me batty.
A couple of people have said this or something similar but it is weird to me. They have to hand it to somebody and making a big deal about intercepting it or paying it feels like an inferiority complex to me. After all, presumably on some level even if you have separate accounts, the meal is coming out of the family budget.Â
The movie may have nationalized the term. I didn't grow up with it in the south but I was an adult when the movie happened.
Grew up in the south in the 80s.
I'll send it to you.
Me too!!!
The following is an excerpt from your citation under section 2. "A taxpayer spending $12,000 on mortgage interest and paying taxes at an income tax rate of 24% would be permitted to exclude $12,000 from income tax liability. This would result in a savings of $2,880, or 24% of $12,000. "
Also from the article:Â
You are correct, but all of this supports my position. I'm not saying that getting itemized is much better than the standard deduction, because it doesn't really matter where the deduction comes from, only that you get it. But you do get to deduct all mortgage interest on up to $750k. Nothing you've shown refutes this. You're only showing that deducting a large amount doesn't mean you actually save that much. But that's taxes 101 right? Of course a deduction isn't a credit. When you get to deduct your traditional 401k contributions, no one expects to save $10k on $10k contributions. You just don't pay taxes on $10k, so you save more like $2400 (depending on your bracket). Well, same thing here, right?
No.  You seemed to indicate in your first post that the amount you are paying in mortgage interest will get you most of the way to the standard deduction and if you itemize, it will be more than the standard deduction.  Â
This is how I learn Snoop has kids content.
Eat Your Veggies is on heavy rotation in our house.
Of course she'll be fine. Mothers always find a way. Telling OP to just suck it up is shitty. As a mother who had to spend 12 hours in the hospital alone until my sister could fly in the next morning I know how much it sucks. I couldn't even have a friend stay with me because of covid. You should really work on your empathy.
Oh please.Â
When you're an Honors Class or AP student and the teacher has you deliver something to a "regular" class. â ď¸
I dropped down from AP Physics to regular physics in senior year. Literally what we learned in one quarter of AP Physics took us the whole rest of the year in regular physics. It was crazy. Needless to say, I coasted.Â
I 100% understand where you are coming from. I felt the same way and still do sometimes. Itâs hard to navigate relationships with people who have sacrificed the world for you on the one hand, but cut you the deepest on the other. Despite very real abuse and mistreatment I experienced growing up, I had to ask myself a series of very important questions like:
This is so thoughtful and well said as a child of African immigrants who thankfully were wonderful (though of course not perfect) parents of whom I have never doubted their love.
Itâs interesting to me that you say itâs your dream. My mom was a SAHM, but she was adamant while raising my sister and me that we would never âneedâ a man like she did. I think it was an ego hit to her (she started college but didnât finish, and was the only child of seven to not graduate, then moved to the Bay Area where mothers tend to be older and more educated).
I hope you realize that what you have is a unicorn job?
For real. All I see in my industry (where you do have to work hard to move up and have to be educated etc.) is that the higher you go, the more demands of your time are made on the daily.
This is most industries I think. Â I donât understand how you can work up to a level where you get to pretend to work. That makes more sense at lower levels.
They should dim the room and put a spotlight on him anytime they say âbriberyâ or âcorruption.â
They couldâŚbut if you think the majority of the justices arenât bought and sold you havenât been paying attention.
To devils advocate that, donât be surprised to lose when running someone hated and polarizing. Trump won because Hillary is hated, Biden won because trump was hated. Thems facts. Downvote away.
Biden won because Trump messed up with Covid. If he had shut up and kept his head down, Dems would have remained apathetic and Repubs would have come out in droves for their Lord and Savior.
I was going to say this, too. My kid is in a Montessori school, and it's almost entirely Hispanic and Asian. She's the only white kid in her room, and definitely the minority in the school. Sometimes I have to remind the teacher to put sunscreen on her, because she sometimes burns pretty quick.
They should be putting sunscreen on everybody though? Every child in my childâs multicultural school uses sunscreen.Â
The very next economic issues rates will go down fast.
Just because they want it down doesnât mean it will go down. And I think we probably wonât see 3% again for decades
I bet you we see 3 again before 2030
I bet we wonât
I wonder if the attitude of a lot of these women is "if we make it look like we're limited by pregnancy, then men will say that we're not up to the job and take away our ability to be doctors." There's a pretty strong culture of keeping differences between men and women as quiet as possible, because it could be used against us later to justify poorer pay or in extreme cases not letting women into medical schools (currently an issue in Japan).
Itâs also about time off and its effect on training.Â
Don't Europeans have to repeat residency before they can practice ? That's if they even qualify. I've known immigrant physicians who don't want to repeat med school and just do nursing school instead. Their system is completely different isn't it?
You mean repeat it if they move from Europe to the US? Yes they have to redo residency.Â
I know it sounds weird, but I was much happier when I was in India because of the liveliness. Coming back to the US after spending months in India felt lonely and isolating and depressing. The individualism made it feel like there was less trust among individuals.
Exact same feeling I had on coming back from India. I felt a sense of community that I didnât feel in the US. Also could walk 5-10 min to my job, to get something to eat, to the shopsâŚ
Good to know, thank you!
Me and my child had different last names for some time until I got new ID (had been married for a few years but I was lazy about updating some of my IDs) so I was a bit paranoid butâŚyeah, maybe itâs a bit scary that they donât ask in that instance? Â
That's promising! I'm worried we'll get that one grumpy person that hates babies. đŹ The premium/first class tickets are a good idea though, I'll look into that next time!
Also regarding birth certificatesâŚI have 2 children. Both times when I filled out the forms for birth certificates, I asked them to send me two and paid whatever the extra charge was. That way I always have an official copy.
Phoenix Arizona
Unfortunately, I don't know anyone in that area. I will try to DM you.
It's ok, I just had the experience. I went to medical school and I'm applying to residency training and i had difficult finding a doctor that will give me the opportunity to get more experience.
Where are you? Iâm a physician. If I know anybody in your area, I will help you out, too.Â
Of course. When weâre young, life is generally pretty good. Iâm speaking from a white male perspective. We get older and remember all the great things as a kid. We make a bunch of books, songs, movies, and TV shows that romanticize the era and young people think that time sounds way better.
Exactly. I think most people who want to born in a former era are probably white and likely male.Â
Well, in my experience itâs mostly white girls who think they were âborn in the wrong generationâ, (myself included.) I guess we just donât think about the bad aspects of different time periods.. Like I love everything about the 1950s aesthetic, but I know women had pretty much no rights so I suppose I wouldnât actually want to go back. It just looks so dang fun in the movies.. Iâve also wished I was born in â67 so I could be a kid in the 1970s and a teen in the 1980s.
Fair.Â
this doesn't sound like the usa
Not the 6 hours part but I have definitely witnessed (and suffered through) M&Ms like this in the US
How in the fuck do your attendings have 6 hours of their day to waste at conference
Asking the real questions!
I bet it smells crazy in there
Another thing to consider is that if someoneâs an alcoholic and theyâre going to do it anyway until they decide to work on it isnât it better that they donât go quite so broke? Not saying it outweighs anything just a thought.
No. It isnât.Â
Who are these hordes of people interrogating yall about your finances and life? I see this complaint sometimes on reddit and I just wonder what circles demand you tell them... and also why you care about their opinions.
This is my question.
Although I don't totally disagree with your statement I've got to say this.
I guess what I am saying is that people may ask (but I have never encountered the seeming hordes demanding to know like the people who post this stuff do) but it is really easy to deflect or answer nonchalantly and most people will move on.Â
NEVER YOUTUBE.
We never have gotten crazy stuff on you tube.Â
Yeah, you gotta be careful. There seems to be people uploading to YouTube who are specifically trying to trick the algorithm into showing content to children that is not appropriate by disguising it as children's content in the tags, etc.
The funny thing is, we actually watch mostly the stuff on Disney and PBS Kids...just on YouTube!
Our road wasnât nearly as rough but I feel every bit of this. The constant emotional preparation for loss. It wasnât until I heard the babyâs cries did I truly believe this was real. And then I held my breath for the next four months to get past the highest risk of SIDS. Now Iâm finally able to hold my baby and believe heâs here to stay â¤ď¸
Same.
Thank you for this. I can totally relate to the fear of Sidâs and the constant praying.
Baby #2 is already here! 1.5 years old, lol! But thanks!
I agree with others that you might be depressed and should get help.
Ideal world be end of fellowship and take an extra long maternity leave before starting real job!
This was me!Â