1. So you're a couple years off yet, but its tons easier to make mom friends when the kids are in school. You do have to get involved though- then youlk meet other involved moms. If you enroll your kid in preschool youll be able to meet other working moms (unless you enroll them in preschool that is coop or part time, then goud just end up in the same position where moms are all stay at home.) Your husband should put some effort into meeting other SAHDs because obviously their wives (or husbands)/will be working and then hopefully they will be cool and you can be friends with them. Also, take a baby and me class at the rec center on the weekend and most of those moms will be moms with jobs.

  2. I've had good luck meeting other moms by taking my kids to the neighborhood park frequently after work. Now that they're in preschool, they're meeting new kids there too, although we haven't set up any play dates with classmates yet. Is your 3 year old going to preschool this year?

  3. So, playing devils advocate, working moms should just consider their jobs their social life and call it good? I don’t work with any other young moms so it’s hard to see all these groups for stay at home moms that offer them support when working moms don’t get the same thing. Honestly, sure have groups during the week but also offer them at times that work for everyone else to.

  4. Yup, in my experience those groups are not interested in engaging working moms (and a stay-at-home dad will be ignored, if not actively excluded). The experiences are too different.

  5. This gets posted all the time, and the general answer is - no one comes to weekend stuff. I'm a full-time working mom and I used to try to go to weekend meetups, and more often than not I'd have to bow out because something came up: cleaning, family time, tiredness, etc.

  6. It also assumes that working parents are M-F 9-5 which isn’t accurate. I’m still on maternity leave, but there are absolutely loads of working mums at the groups I go to, it’s just that they are in things like nursing or retail so can attend a 10am Tuesday thing, but the trade off is working overnight or through the weekend.

  7. Mothers of Preschoolers. In my experience (which is not everyone else's) MOPS is religious based (hence it taking place in a church) and that group isn't always comfortable being around men. Because omg the lust and temptation. (We are all parents of small children who has the energy or time for affairs?)

  8. Yes, so what the other comments said. Men are typically not allowed, and if my husband did go, it would be very awkward. The MOPS group is just the example I saw today, I tend to see this on Facebook groups and other places that tote having a “moms group“ as well.

  9. I have literally joined all the Facebook mommy groups in my area in hope to make connections and meet with others and literally nothing. All of their meetups are during work hours. Also, some of the events have a fee and I find them too expensive to go to regularly.

  10. I would look for friends outside mom-centered groups. I made a lot of friends via a book club, for instance. Some of them are moms and some aren’t. Perfect arrangement so that I don’t have to talk about mom things all the time.

  11. I signed my 3 yo old up for soccer and swim on Saturday mornings I find it's working parents. The stay at home parents would do weekdays. I met a mom at a park once on a weekend and we signed our kids up for soccer together. We've tried a playdate a few times it just didn't workout. It's hard making friends as adult, working FT, & having kids. Anyone I know with kids around my kids age that I see, I suggest a playdate sometime, & if they are up for it we get together. Sometimes it takes a few months though. Good luck! My mom & mom friends with older kids told me it gets easier once kids are older & start school.

  12. Start your own gathering! I go to an evening book club once a month and it is amazing!!! And a lot of working moms make it happen! (And we spend like mayyyybe 10 min discussing the book lol)

  13. There’s actually a National dads organization but chances are your husband would have to establish his own chapter. Another option is to start a dads group.

  14. I understand the thought but, as you said, starting a group takes a lot of work and effort I just don’t have the mental capacity for

  15. I am in a very similar situation with my work and husband.. I gave up trying to make mom friends after a while and eventually a few came to us.. but it wasn't until maybe senior kindergarten when my son started making friends at school.

  16. If I was a SAHM, I would really look forward to having something different to do from 9:30-11:30am on a Wednesday…

  17. Honestly, just take charge and start planning weekend gatherings for moms and children. Ask the daycare teachers to put invites in the childrens backpacks. I planned a get together not too long ago at a splash pad and the preschool teachers gave every child an invite. It was a great showing and everyone had fun.

  18. What really cracks me up is when they finally do a parent/child activity on the weekend and it’s smack in the middle of nap time

  19. I have a 1-year-old and I am also a youth & family recreation programs coordinator. All of the times are somebody’s nap time. I spent like two days agonizing over the timing of a program recently and finally just threw in the towel. I try to stick to drop-in programs and make them like 2 hours long so people can catch part of it depending on their schedule. It’s so much harder than it seems like it should be.

  20. Same boat. I work remote as well. So I have no friends, no social life. My daughter goes to daycare at 7 and that's the last interaction I usually have with people until 5. I don't count my Scrum meetings as a social life.

  21. I'm FINALLY making mom friends now that my oldest is in Kindergarten. The room parents have planned weekend playdates, birthday party invites and the parents have an ongoing group chat that has been great. This is basically what I've been waiting for since I couldn't join any mommy and me classes when I went back to work after 4 months. You'll get there!

  22. Thank you for posting, gives me hope! It’s hard feeling like we reset after having the new baby and are back to phase one. My toddler won’t be in kindergarten for another 3 years which does feel like a small eternity haha!

  23. It’s hard for SAHDs. There aren’t many and mom groups aren’t very open to them. I was in one mom group that some members wanted to open to dads, but others voted against it because their husbands weren’t comfortable with them hanging out with men during the day. Weird, but whatever.

  24. My husband was a SAHD for a year when our younger daughter was a toddler. He was actively excluded from local Meetup groups because it was claimed that the moms wouldn't feel comfortable discussing personal matters around a man and that some husbands didn't trust a man who wasn't his family's provider. It was very socially isolating for him.

  25. It’s so hard. When I was pregnant everyone used to talk about how weekends would be so busy because there’ll always be activities around the kid and what not, but I realize it’s much harder to make new friends with a baby. Like there’s barely any time for ourselves on top of caring for a baby and on top of that I have to go and make friends? No thanks.. for now we’re content with having zero friends

  26. Unfortunately all the people I work with either don’t have kids or have adult children. No parents of young kids. I like my coworkers but it hits different when you have people in the same phase of life. I used to have a coworker with a kid exact same age as mine but she moved states a year ago. 😫

  27. I joined a local mom's book club that meets at 8pm on Sunday nights (no kids). It's a mix of SAH and working moms. Maybe you could start up your own group like that. The person who started it just posted on a local facebook group she wanted to start one.

  28. And even if they don't, just go anyway! My kids usually find other kids to play with at the library, even when there isn't anything scheduled.

  29. I also find it frustrating. Someone in my area created a group called the “5:00-9:00” club for play dates and socializing for parents who work during weekdays. The meetups are only on weekends and evenings.

  30. From a European perspective I would assume any and all "mom" centered activities are equally accessible to dads. If not, I'd tell your husband to start his own thing during working hours. There must be nonjudgmental moms and fellow dads who want an inclusive group and honestly that sounds a lot more like the kind of people I'd be friends with anyway.

  31. It’s SO irritating to get excited about a kid-oriented event and then see it’s at 10am on Wednesday. How the hell am I ever supposed to have fun time with my kids? Nothing is ever set up for weekends. This literally frustrates me to tears on a regular basis. I’d love to make working mom friends but how? Where? (On that note message me if you’re just as mad, would literally make friends with a radically political tree stump just to have someone to chat to while your kids and the tree’s kids draw on the sidewalk together, and live in central Ohio.)

  32. It's definitely hard to join these groups if you work a 9-5 but at the same time they probably are scheduled for that time because kids are winding down in the evening. It's not a good time to go out for a meet up with young kids. (I'm assuming kids come along to the meeting too so they can socialize with each other).

  33. We joined weekend activities which helped me meet other working parents. Also I’ve had good luck with the Peanut app and make note in my profile.

  34. I work weekends so I have two weekdays off, but my oldest kids’s best friend has a stay at home Dad and I made a point when the kids were starting to get to know each other at school and clearly enjoyed playing together of telling him I wss 100% cool with hanging out with him on my off days with the kids. He told me that I was the first Mom to offer that and it made me so sad. We’re great friends with the whole family now. So hold onto hope, you’ll find your people. It so helps when your kids get along, most parents will make a effort if their kid likes yours.

  35. I feel this. But also. I run youth/family programs at a parks & recreation district. I am also a mom. If I organize an activity outside of the work day, I have to take time away from my family to be there, no one comes, and they have to pay me overtime. It sucks, but I haven’t found a good solution yet.

  36. How do I find working moms groups? Facebook also seems to be heavy meeting during work hours. I have never found a weekend or group not before 3pm. My work hours are 7-3:30 so I am more flexible than most working moms and still can’t manage

  37. It's for sure shit in the Midwest. Latest thing ever offered is 4:30pm Weds for 6-8wks for Mommy & Me (6m-2yr). I work 8-4:30 w/a SAHD. Mommy & Me was close by but still 20mins away in traffic. I recently signed up for a 1.5-5yr old Sat art class (4wks, 9:30-11:30am) and it was canceled due to lack of registration. It wasn't even a mommy group, simply an art class but no one wanted to attend a class on a Sat. It sucks & it feels really lonley.

  38. Is it something about the Midwest in particular? I’m also in that region and have the same issue. The one class I did find on the weekend got cancelled because of low registration…go figure. I’ve pretty much resigned myself that I won’t make friends till my kid does. I tried that Peanut app but it was fruitless.

  39. Most working moms in my experience are kind of reclusive because they feel burned out from the week. So it's hard to find people seeking to connect. My husband and I have been reaching out to family and old friends. It's slow but we did get one group together on once a week that includes two other parents. It does SUCK though when you can tell people don't really like your kids, so I can understand the desire to meet other parents.

  40. You're right around the corner in terms of your 3 year old and more organized activities. Hang in there. Idk if it helps but MOPS sucks, I tried it and felt like I was an alien and everyone else was in group think. Preschool, soccer, t ball, etc are all up next and then you'll be so worn out with no down time on the weekends. So, hang in there. Personally, I've made friends doing nonprofit volunteer work. I have some friends from mom groups, but our kids all go to different school districts since they were school aged and it makes it hard to get together. I am not close to any families in my own school district, so something else to consider if it matters. Join a book club, that is my only steady way of getting socialization 1x a month.

  41. Yes! I posted this on the toddler Reddit the other week (wrong sub I think, you had the right idea), I only got like 2 hits and one was like “library story time?” And I’m like yeah it’s mondays at 11am like they always are, how are we still having this issue in 2022 when so many women work??

  42. I was really frustrated by this, so I got really excited when a local bookstore started a weekend story time so that working parents could go. It ended after a 2 months, because it turns out people are either too busy and/or too exhausted on the weekends to attend consistently— myself included. It sounded like such a good idea, but the execution just doesn’t work out. I’m also in some librarian Facebook groups, and libraries all over the country face a similar issue whenever they try weekend programs.

  43. I’ve noticed this trend as well. You might have to start something yourself. A dad in my neighborhood posted on our Facebook group suggesting a toddler park meetup. That first time, he brought donuts, coffee, chalk, etc and 3 or 4 families showed up from his post, plus another family that just stumbled upon us by chance. We met up every week for several months.

  44. Between work and daycare I have a ton of working mom friends. We meet up with the kids at somebody's house or the playground pretty much every weekend. Sometimes do dinner after daycare on weeknights.

  45. Same. I work full time and look for events and they are always on weekdays between 10am and noon in my area. It is frustrating. Even the digital Facebook group has virtual meetings during my work hours.

  46. Not alone. I have almost 6 year old twins. They just started kindergarten. Hoping to finally make some friends. I’m paying attention to who else is dropping off/picking up from the before and aftercare program lol.

  47. I don't got to mom things on the weekends either because weekends are family time and time to catch up on household stuff. So I guess I am part of the problem.

  48. Everything at the local library is during the week! I hate that I’ve never been able to take my kids to a single event.

  49. I feel your pain. We recently moved and I have no friends. I work full time and have two small kids. So If I have a free second I’m exhausted. I don’t get why everything (mom meet up, kid activities, etc) is during working hours.

  50. I am in the exact same situation. There's a local mom group I joined on Facebook - all the gatherings are during weekday mornings. May as well call it a stay-at-home mom group. And they don't allow fathers either for the "privacy of breastfeeding moms."

  51. This is the exact issue we have. I work from home in healthcare, my husband is a SAHD, and our daughters are 1 and 3. When I was in the clinic full time he tried to look up some kind of dad group in our area because he was getting stir crazy and didn’t find much. And we live in the 4th largest city in the US. Luckily we moved closer to some of our friends and family earlier this year so it’s gotten easier. Are there any neighbors around that are friendly? We were friends with a couple of our old neighbors and it was great.

  52. It’s better in the UK but I think there is still improvement needed. Any kind of toddler group is midweek 🫤. I think I got the biggest rage when I found a weekend class advertised ‘for dads’ I called and explained that I work during the week and could I come and was told no it’s for dads, that’s why it at the weekend. Errrmmm? Would a dad be stopped coming to a weekday mums class? I think not

  53. I tried to attend one of those groups at a local center , it was like a baby literacy class. I found the moms were cliquey. There seemed to be a central one who knew everyone else and was the 'center'. The other moms seemed to just want to know my babys age and i figured later they were comparing growth. It's not always a great experience. I kept going because they gave the kids books and I wanted to get some tips from the facilitator. You may be better off just using your down time for something more rewarding

  54. Do you have a "play school" type preschool around? Ours was a co-op, so one parent was volunteering at the school once a week or more. It actually had a fair number of dad's, and really contributed to creating friendships and community

  55. The kicker is that as a SAHM I am also not able to make mom friends because every time I go to any mommy and me gathering or class it’s me with all nannies. I do live in NYC though so that’s probably why bumping into another SAHM that wants to socialize is like seeing a unicorn.

  56. I joined a local moms group on Facebook and noticed the same thing so I deliberately hosted a weekend event at a children’s play place. There was a lot of interest but only 3 moms showed up. I noticed it was hard to chat with other moms while I was helping my daughter play or chasing after her.

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