1. Oh wow. Wow, if I were a woman, I would press my bare boobs up against glass in public, just for the SEXUAL THRILL! THE SEXUAL THRILL!!!

  2. "Quagmire I've-" "I get it Joe you got poopies" "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME SAY IT inhale exhale Quagmire," *brushes hand down Glenn's face while saying "I've got poopies."

  3. Not a quote from him, but Peter prank calling him with “Wheelie wheelie stupid head, bet you wish that you was dead” and then “What are you gonna do, report it on your can’t walk-ie talkie?” Had me hysterical 😂 Poor Joe lol

  4. "This isn't part of the act anymore" when Joe distracts the prison guards by falling out of his chair and crying loudly.

  5. Ah it’s only a matter of time before Chris beats you, Peter. I remember the first time Kevin beat me. I gave him a little congratulatory punch in the arm….and another. Then it gets kind of hazy. Kid went to live with a foster family for a while. Anyway it’s inevitable.

  6. intense inhale "Firemen. Eat. Spaghetti." or "Joe, you need to take a class on small talk." "You're not gunna believe this, I'm in one."

  7. 🎵 Joe is on a va-cation far away... you called him up to talk it over... so many things that you wanna say... leave your message when the beep is over. I don't wanna miss your call toniiiiiggt. I already missed your call toniiiiggt 🎵

  8. So many to choose from but I love bartender Joe with his playlist with only life is a highway

  9. Omg that scene,as they all slink away and he’s sobbing, then quagmire kind of rolls away across the floor…it cracks me up every time! Lmao

  10. Lmao I had a coworker who broke his leg or something and had to ride around for a few weeks in this weird scooter thing and I had said that to him literally every single time I saw him.

  11. When he gives Bonnie the lap dance and throws his legs over her never fails to make me laugh. Also when he “walks” when Peter has the forklift

  12. The time when the guys found a perfect set of legs for Joe, while dumpster diving, but Quagmire (I think) calls 'dibs', Joe says something like " well... he did call dibs".

  13. Where he shoots the steak when he kicks the guys ass in karate suit or when that whole dialogue that ends with him screaming THE SEXUAL THRILL

  14. When Joe got working legs and made everyone sing and dance to the song Good Morning,same episode he Karate kicks their ass.

  15. When Joe tricked quagmire into banging him and they’re all teasing quagmire for being gay “I didn’t feel anything, BUT YOU DID”

  16. 🎶Joe is on a vacation far away, You called him up to talk it over. So many things that you wanna say, Leave a message when the beep is over… I don’t wanna miss your call, Tonight… I already missed your call, Tonight…🎶

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  20. When Peter has the pulley system above his bed and starts pulling the rope. The rope is attached to Joe who starts lifting up out of his chair and exclaims "I died, I DIED!"

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