Been depressed for so many years that I have no interests. I'm not even sure I'm depressed anymore, but I was for so long that my personality became so ... braindead, it's like I don't have the capacity to have interests anymore. My brain barely reacts to anything, everything is so dull.
Only thing I can say is that if you catch yourself enjoying something a little bit, look out for that little voice that says "but this isn't a useful skill, no point in wasting time on it" or "I should be doing something meaningful instead." Then try to let that voice go unheard and continue doing more of that thing that makes you feel a little bit alive inside, even if you're bad at it. I've always had that voice working against me but the only time it has brought me joy is when I realize that it's absent.
I have a lot of interests, but the feeling of 24/7 autopilot with nothing really happening upstairs is what gets me. Pandemic has made it a bit worse in a different sense, no work has me celebrating me when I take a shower or get dressed. I feel brain dead, as you said.
I also have this problem, I have zero idea what to do about it. I have these delusional ideas in my head that I will just watch videos for a week and become a YouTuber or a Streamer or a Musician. But I tell myself that every day but never make any effort to do it. I think it’s a mix of realizing how hard those things are let alone being successful and then lack of motivation. I struggle with confidence and I feel like I’ve just existed for the past 28 years and have nothing positive to show for it
Depression has done the same to me. It has rotted my personality into basically nothing or mediocre at best. It's like I really want to talk to people and make connections with others but at the same time my stupid brain doesn't have the energy to or can't come up with anything to talk about.
Those are good hobbies! You could try learning an instrument if you want to go further with music as a hobby? But I think both of those things are meaningful and fulfilling.
Wow, I felt like I was reading the description of my own life, floating along gaining knowledge, skills just the basics enough to survive not mastering any, feeling dull and unemotional to everything.
A little bit I recognize myself in your story, more or less exactly how I am now. I've always been a person with lots of dreams and one who could learn quickly if I put in my effort .... Unfortunately my life changed completely when I was 25, due to disappointments, a job I hated carried on for more than 10 years, and various failures in what I loved ... Now I am 32 and like you, I have been depressed for so long. so long that it has become "normal" I honestly don't even remember how it feels to be happy even for a few seconds, the only thing that keeps me going is the subtle hope that something will improve .... Even if more time goes by, the more I hope I'll have a heart attack .... I hate my life, for years I hate everything I used to love for example playing the guitar or going fishing, going for a ride in the woods .... I can't even more to leave the house, or visit the very few friends I have left, probably if they weren't there and I didn't have my mother's support I would have already killed myself. I apologize for the big poem and my poor English.
Switch it up, maybe you are all looking in the wrong places. Add some faith, yet look all around you: what you’re missing are the very things right in front of you everyday. Don’t look to writing or making YouTube videos; perhaps this will take your normal enjoyment away. Just look AROUND, open your eyes, your heart and your ears. Fight for your senses if you’re feeling numb before anything else. Then begin again.
for the longest time i was used to living a certain way and in my shell. only within the last few years have i started really exploring my other interests. embrace the discomfort outside your comfort zones. let it be a fun adventure as you search for whatever youre trying to find.
just post like literally anything you want on yt. dont give a crap, if it's going to get views or not. you're not going to be perfect in the beginning. it takes time and motivation to master recording, editing, thumbnails, metadata etc. how to get motivation? just start uploading, make yourself a schedule. it's going to be hardest at the start, but if you keep up with it, one day you will definitely see some views on your channel.
I used to feel this exact same way. I felt that depression had completely destroyed me and eroded my entire personality and all that I'd used to be. I felt helpless but to watch it continue to happen since I couldn't help but suffer through depression. It gutted me.
And don't feel pressure to "do things" just because other people "do things." You do you. Cliche, but your life is your own and who says you need to have interests and hobbies?
Have you thought about trying to get into social media management? Running SM accounts for companies/stores? It may allow you to harness skills you already have, use some creativity, but not make yourself the “face” of the creativity. If that makes sense.
I did that for 5 years. It made me be on social media which ultimately made my depression worse or just as bad. I suppose it’s nice to be paid to be depressed. That aspect I miss. I don’t miss the platform I had to work on because I would just waste my entire day on it even if work only took me a few hours. It eventually became mundane because I felt like I had no room for advancement or improvement really, just another customer.
Same. I haven't worked in over 2 years and my credit is shot so I couldn't get a job. I dont want a job anymore. I dont ha any interest in the people where I live.
Try crocheting. There are plenty of videos teaching. You don't need much, you don't have to leave your bed, you don't have to think much and still can watch youtube/netflix, results don't have to be perfect. Only after few weeks you will have something finished. Seeing immediate results gives joy
Something that helped me: I ditched the idea that I need to be constantly creative and highly skilled in whatever my “hobby” is. I know this little “but this is not useful thing to do” voice very well, and I’m very scared to try new things, especially if it feels like not much brings me joy.
uggghhh this sounds similar to what i have felt. get outside! even if u hate it. try to go somewhere that doesnt have alot or any ppl. take a pencil/pad & just write. it will help to see things you wrote down. anything is worth a shot,right!?
I definitely relate to this! It really does become part of your personality. For the longest time I was convinced that I was boring, cold and a loner. Turns out I'm just depressed and numb/indifferent to a lot of things and people.
I can relate to that. Can someone give us advice on that?
Only thing I can say is that if you catch yourself enjoying something a little bit, look out for that little voice that says "but this isn't a useful skill, no point in wasting time on it" or "I should be doing something meaningful instead." Then try to let that voice go unheard and continue doing more of that thing that makes you feel a little bit alive inside, even if you're bad at it. I've always had that voice working against me but the only time it has brought me joy is when I realize that it's absent.
Same, also open to advice
I have a lot of interests, but the feeling of 24/7 autopilot with nothing really happening upstairs is what gets me. Pandemic has made it a bit worse in a different sense, no work has me celebrating me when I take a shower or get dressed. I feel brain dead, as you said.
Journaling, yoga and meditation have done wonders for me - I feel more grounded and present throughout the days.
I also have this problem, I have zero idea what to do about it. I have these delusional ideas in my head that I will just watch videos for a week and become a YouTuber or a Streamer or a Musician. But I tell myself that every day but never make any effort to do it. I think it’s a mix of realizing how hard those things are let alone being successful and then lack of motivation. I struggle with confidence and I feel like I’ve just existed for the past 28 years and have nothing positive to show for it
Depression has done the same to me. It has rotted my personality into basically nothing or mediocre at best. It's like I really want to talk to people and make connections with others but at the same time my stupid brain doesn't have the energy to or can't come up with anything to talk about.
I have this problem too unfortunately. Everyone has hobbies but I’m not interesting in anything at all except my dog and listening to music.
Those are good hobbies! You could try learning an instrument if you want to go further with music as a hobby? But I think both of those things are meaningful and fulfilling.
Yep, me too. You've explained it perfectly.
Me too, it's kind of nice knowing that I'm not the only one
This is called anhedonia.
Wow, I felt like I was reading the description of my own life, floating along gaining knowledge, skills just the basics enough to survive not mastering any, feeling dull and unemotional to everything.
I feel you it won’t get getter sadly I’m going through the same
you gotta start small
I do this too. To top it off, I'm old so my energy, motivation, and sense of care is way limited.
A little bit I recognize myself in your story, more or less exactly how I am now. I've always been a person with lots of dreams and one who could learn quickly if I put in my effort .... Unfortunately my life changed completely when I was 25, due to disappointments, a job I hated carried on for more than 10 years, and various failures in what I loved ... Now I am 32 and like you, I have been depressed for so long. so long that it has become "normal" I honestly don't even remember how it feels to be happy even for a few seconds, the only thing that keeps me going is the subtle hope that something will improve .... Even if more time goes by, the more I hope I'll have a heart attack .... I hate my life, for years I hate everything I used to love for example playing the guitar or going fishing, going for a ride in the woods .... I can't even more to leave the house, or visit the very few friends I have left, probably if they weren't there and I didn't have my mother's support I would have already killed myself. I apologize for the big poem and my poor English.
Here are some options which might make sense for you:
Does not help when you have no will to do anything as you are so fatigued and unable to think that even if you try you fail.
fwiw, I read up on
Switch it up, maybe you are all looking in the wrong places. Add some faith, yet look all around you: what you’re missing are the very things right in front of you everyday. Don’t look to writing or making YouTube videos; perhaps this will take your normal enjoyment away. Just look AROUND, open your eyes, your heart and your ears. Fight for your senses if you’re feeling numb before anything else. Then begin again.
for the longest time i was used to living a certain way and in my shell. only within the last few years have i started really exploring my other interests. embrace the discomfort outside your comfort zones. let it be a fun adventure as you search for whatever youre trying to find.
I don’t have any advice but I’m sorry you’re going through that. Maybe
just post like literally anything you want on yt. dont give a crap, if it's going to get views or not. you're not going to be perfect in the beginning. it takes time and motivation to master recording, editing, thumbnails, metadata etc. how to get motivation? just start uploading, make yourself a schedule. it's going to be hardest at the start, but if you keep up with it, one day you will definitely see some views on your channel.
Yo you right. Thank you
Yeah. That brain fog is just... fuck.
I used to feel this exact same way. I felt that depression had completely destroyed me and eroded my entire personality and all that I'd used to be. I felt helpless but to watch it continue to happen since I couldn't help but suffer through depression. It gutted me.
And don't feel pressure to "do things" just because other people "do things." You do you. Cliche, but your life is your own and who says you need to have interests and hobbies?
Have you thought about trying to get into social media management? Running SM accounts for companies/stores? It may allow you to harness skills you already have, use some creativity, but not make yourself the “face” of the creativity. If that makes sense.
I did that for 5 years. It made me be on social media which ultimately made my depression worse or just as bad. I suppose it’s nice to be paid to be depressed. That aspect I miss. I don’t miss the platform I had to work on because I would just waste my entire day on it even if work only took me a few hours. It eventually became mundane because I felt like I had no room for advancement or improvement really, just another customer.
Same. I haven't worked in over 2 years and my credit is shot so I couldn't get a job. I dont want a job anymore. I dont ha any interest in the people where I live.
No good answers here either although this sounds exactly like me sadly I'll never get the answers I want
me too man. I am incapable of reacting to anything. All the skills I had are now lost and i don't care about anything anymore
Might have dpdr don't give up hope. I feel the same exact way just gotta keep fighting till it stops.
This is EXACTLY the way I’ve been feeling for years now.
I feel the same, you wrote it extremely well.
We all seem to have dreams that we can't seem to achieve. The only thing that gives me hope is Pixar movie takeaways:
Try crocheting. There are plenty of videos teaching. You don't need much, you don't have to leave your bed, you don't have to think much and still can watch youtube/netflix, results don't have to be perfect. Only after few weeks you will have something finished. Seeing immediate results gives joy
Something that helped me: I ditched the idea that I need to be constantly creative and highly skilled in whatever my “hobby” is. I know this little “but this is not useful thing to do” voice very well, and I’m very scared to try new things, especially if it feels like not much brings me joy.
You are going through anhedonia sane with me it kills all interests
uggghhh this sounds similar to what i have felt. get outside! even if u hate it. try to go somewhere that doesnt have alot or any ppl. take a pencil/pad & just write. it will help to see things you wrote down. anything is worth a shot,right!?
I definitely relate to this! It really does become part of your personality. For the longest time I was convinced that I was boring, cold and a loner. Turns out I'm just depressed and numb/indifferent to a lot of things and people.