1. I went to school with someone named Shithead. It was pronounced "Sha-thee-ed" and I had never seen it written until we were handing out roles in the spring play. I was standing on stage reading the list and got to her name, kind of laughed and said something like, "OK, who really got this part?" because the paper said "Shithead [Last name]" . The drama teacher called out, "Sha-thee-ed got that part. Why? What does it say?" and I STILL didn't get it. I told the whole room that someone was messing around and had typed a swear word on the list. That's when Shithead herself told me how to spell her name. In front of everyone I essentially pointed out that her parents named her a swear word and made her spell it out. I still feel bad 20+ years later.

  2. Get thee behind me, Satan! I have to pay for our admission before they let us enter Six-Six-Six Flags.

  3. "Complete Constant Failure! You get your sorry butt down here right now, young man, or so help me, you're mother is going to make you regret ignoring me!"

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