1. I havent ever heard this term but “Never male” sounds like it’s meant to be insulting so I wonder if it’s part of it.

  2. The point of this statement is a belief in at least one notable state of being that is either in-between the gender binaries, or completely outside the two.

  3. Probably going to get downvoted but I think a lot of (not all) this hyperspecific gender identity nowadays comes down to people, for some reason, regressing to identifying gender roles as the gender. Like, oh I'm female, but I only like feminine things occasionally. Therefore my gender is not fully female. I have asked people of identities similar to the one you specified why they identify as such, and the answer always seems to relate back to gender roles. It's a shame because I thought we were past the point of gender having roles, but I guess horseshoe theory is in effect for SOME (not all) people.

  4. That’s actually a very excellent point that I never realized. You literally have people on the one hand saying we should get rid of traditional gender roles. But if you think about someone deciding they identify as a different gender than their biological sex, all that means is that they identify with a different gender role.

  5. Gender is a social construct, but that doesn't mean it isn't real right now. Much like money, it's entirely made up, but is also completely unavoidable in the modern world. Trans people are more aware of this than most. Someone experiencing dysphoria can fully agree that gender doesn't need to matter, but that doesn't change that they live in a side that says people of whatever gender dress a certain way, and they feel like they are that gender. It doesn't help to volunteer them to be the ones to push a genderfree future when the rest of society isn't remotely there yet. Cis people like myself can often push on those boundaries with a lot smaller chance of negative mental health consequences than binary trans people, and non-binary trans people tend to be at the front of challenging gender roles.

  6. You've said it a lot better than I could have. This is the thing that confuses me. I have a genderfluid friend and I asked why they didn't identify with just female and their answer was "Sometimes I feel more like part of the boys or like neither." Which, most of my friends are male and they often joke that I am part of the boys, but that doesn't make me feel like I am not a woman, just a DnD and rough housing liking, soccer and basketball playing, "one of the boys" woman. So I asked further and their answer was "well, sometimes I just don't fit what a woman is." So I asked them what a woman is supposed to be and after a bit of silence they answered with mostly stereotypes that I don't really fit either. So I didn't end up understanding it. Now I just don't try and understand it and just use the pronouns they want me to use because in the end it doesn't harm anyone.

  7. I think it is unfair to place blame upon trans and non-binary people for reinforcing gender roles, when gender roles are an intrinsic part of the society they were born into that primarily recognizes only male and female representation as valid. The trans and non-binary people I know would be more than happy to completely omit any gendered identifiers, but it is necessary for them to "gender" themselves in some way to interact with cisnormative culture. Just look at the use of "they" pronouns for example; using "they" as a pronoun instead of "she" or "he" doesn't stop you from being distinguished by your pronouns, it just puts you into a different identifying group. To be trans or nonbinary means to be a part of a distinct group as well, and these terms only have meaning based upon our definition of what it means to NOT be in them. Put simply, if there was no concept of "male" or "female" then there would be no more trans and nonbinary people!

  8. I get where you're coming from, but I think this is kind of an "I don't see race" argument. The whole concept of gender is tied to our societal perception of gender. If you view gender and sex as two separate things, then the gender side of that dichotomy basically is just gender roles. It's a set of expectations and assumptions that we collectively hold about people, based on their presented identity. Maybe eventually we will move past those societal assumptions and not draw any inferences about someone based on gendered expectations, but in the mean time those assumptions do shape how people view their own identities and how they choose to present those identities to others. Acknowledging that influence is not the same as perpetuating it. In fact I would argue that those who embrace non-binary identities are moving us further toward this post-gender-role future by codifying their rejection of gender roles.

  9. the subreddit is literally called no stupid questions and people are being downvoted and mocked for taking time out of their day to calmly and politely explain the gender spectrum to those who don’t understand it and ASKED for it to be explained to them. utterly insane to me the kneejerk vitriol that comes from a completely innocent question and a completely innocent answer. if you don’t understand the subject matter and don’t want to understand, then go to another one of the millions of posts on this site and don’t mindlessly spread hate for no reason. it clearly has nothing to do with you so just mind your own business and leave it alone. it is that simple

  10. Yeah, it’s one thing to disagree, but if your first reaction is to belittle someone trying to explain a concept to you, it says a lot about you as a person.

  11. I accept that there are people that are gender fluid, gender solid, LGBTQ, Martians, Plutonians and more. That doesn't mean I understand it. If you're one or none of the above I don't care as long as you're happy with what you are that's all that matters. F*** what anybody else thinks.

  12. Wouldn’t claiming to be non binary technically be putting you in a binary therefore you’re identifying as a non binary in the binary of binaries?

  13. They can fluctuate through a variety of identities ranging from strictly feminine to strictly neutral and everything in between, but never masculine.

  14. I’d say no because because that would mean they never identify as female exclusively — maybe female at times, and non-binary at others?

  15. But what does "boy" and "girl" even mean in this scenario? Not biological sex. So what is "boy gender" and "girl gender"? I'm a girl who doesn't like traditionally feminine/girl things, but I wouldn't describe myself as NB or gender fluid just because I don't want to wear a dress most days or prefer to have my hair short.

  16. Great description with the color picker thingy. I came across a situation that kinda relates to this and I didn't know how to navigate. I'm hoping you could help me better understand.

  17. What you are describing sounds like someone either having an identity crisis or no sense of self if they wake up and have to decide what to identify as every moment. I just don't understand

  18. Honestly that particular description, to me, just sounds like overthinking it. I think most would agree that the terms "male" and "female" encompass a very broad set of behaviors, with some overlap near the middle (e.g. in my experience, butch lesbians tend to be more masculine than fem gay men on average, but both still identify as their birth sex and gender). To me, there really any point to identifying as fluid if you're gonna exclude one half of an already overlapping continuum.

  19. Not at all. It means that their gender fluctuates between feminine and nonbinary, one day they may feel more.. demigirl (attached to femininity but not being a woman), other days they may feel completely void of feminity. Genderfluid isn't just fluctuating between male and female, it is a fluctuation of feminity, masculinity, and everything between and outside of it. Sometimes they may not feel masculine.. ever. It matters on the person and their connection with identity.

  20. So some days I want to wear dresses, other days I'd rather just wear baggy trousers and tops because I don't want to show my body shape, does that mean something?

  21. Imagine that we have two categories for people, A and B. Now lets turn that in to a gradient where the limits are A and B. We accept that people can say that they are in where ever they want on this spectrum, and they'll express that position as they feel.

  22. Phew, fun comment section here. People explaining poorly, others seething, and others going "idk man I just got here".

  23. You don’t have to understand everything- it’s okay that you don’t understand the nuances of how others experience gender. I’m a lesbian and I’ll readily admit that it can be hard to understand gender outside the binary without doing a good amount of research and thinking on it, if you don’t experience it yourself. All that’s expected of you is that you respect it, even if you don’t understand what it means. :)

  24. i think, and as a cis person I’m no expert, it just means that sometimes they’re feeling female, sometimes they’re feeling [REDACTED] yknow?

  25. It means they identify as women sometimes, and sometimes as nonbinary. An important add on is that you don't need to understand their identity to respect them, just adress them by the pronouns and name they want, and ask if you're unsure how to best treat them.

  26. Well...there's more than 2 genders. Male and female aren't binarily representative of opposing genders, but rather opposing biological sexes.

  27. just means they don't do bro dude even though their gender is pretty flexible, is how I interpret that. I refer to: we don't need to understand people's differences we just need to learn to respect it.

  28. Hoo boy I assumed the answers here would be a mess and wasn't surprised. It could mean a whole lot of different things, it could mean something unique to that one individual. If this is someone you KNOW well you could even ask to talk more about it if they want, or if it's not you could just let people exist, because you don't always have to understand why people are the way they are, all you have to do is let them be.

  29. I don’t even know anymore. It’s all just…no. Super confusing and don’t care enough to keep up with it. Just let them live their life and be at peace is what I do.

  30. There's actually three sexes, but there's a lot of genders. Since gender is mental, there's not really a limit. The "number" is how specifically we classify them.

  31. It's a ridiculous statement by a confused person. Firstly, I'll note that male and female are words that refer to sex rather than gender; remember the days when trans, non-binary etc. people acknowledged the difference? Pepperidge Farm etc.

  32. So you agree that this person is gender-fluid and just accidentally used "male" instead of "masc" when describing what they aren't?!

  33. I see where you’re coming from, however gender isn’t binary so that’s not the case. It could mean they’re a woman some days, non-binary other days, or whatever other gender that isn’t male.

  34. From my experience, you don't have to give a shit about gender. Just call everyone they and if they tell you off, tell them you're just being polite.

  35. Who cares? Whatever makes them happy.Tbf I'd rather have a friend who considers himself a penguin than those boring dudes that only talk about football all day long

  36. There'd be just as many gender-fluid people and enbies around, but they probably wouldn't know to call themselves that.

  37. Just say ok and walk on. I’ve lost track of what labels people want to put on themselves. Just make eye contact and nod as if in understanding. I don’t care what anyone does in their life, I’m just exhausted that we have to have an untold number of different labels.

  38. There are more genders than just male and female. This would mean that their gender is fluid between female, gender, and non-binary. I don't know all the gender identities, but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

  39. Lol I (AFAB) am one of those people. I can feel femme, I can feel neutral/agender, I can feel like a masculine female, androgynous, etc. But I have never felt out right masculine male or even feminine male. Does that make sense?

  40. I appreciate your in depth explanation. I think it'll always just be hard for people to understand that don't experience it. I'm a woman that identifies as a woman. I like to wear men's clothing because it's comfier sometimes, like I only wear men's tshirts for bed and work. As far as everything else goes, it loses me just because it's not my experience.

  41. Proper answer: this person is saying (not clearly) that they don't always feel "female" but never "male," meaning that some of the time they don't feel- particularly- anything regarding their identity. It doesn't fit. I think we all have moments where we don't feel "ourselves." It stands to reason that some may feel it more than most.

  42. I think this was a slightly confusing way of saying that they identify as both female and non-binary, they use the pronouns she, her, they, them, and they ARE fluid between these two genders.

  43. Yes I'm honestly failing to see the point anymore. All it does is create confusion that is in it's entirety quite useless information and a waste of time.

  44. Exactly. What’s between your legs that’s all I gotta know. Don’t tell me you’re a woman when you have a dick between your legs.

  45. its whatever you want man. really, no one is looking in your pants to check. a male llama doesnt know hes a male. he just sometimes feels the need to mate with other llamas. you dont need to know to live a good life, go eat some grass and run around in the mountains of peru, live ur llama dream

  46. Genderfluid means you can feel a variety of genders, not just male and female. They can feel close to womanhood one day, nonbinary on another day, and agender on another day... but those feelings will never feel like a man to them. Gender is a complex and every expanding thing as all of us experience it differently. Just ask them nicely, be respectful, and do your research.

  47. How do you “feel” a gender. I don’t feel like I am a man. I have a male body and that doesn’t cause me any distress, so I guess that means I feel like I’m a man (all my parts are in the right place according to my brain). But I have no “feeling” of being a man that I could describe in any meaningful way.

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