1. Thank you. I honestly believed that what I did yesterday was truly out of bounds because I disrespected his privacy because he got mad.

  2. I am a maritime engineer, graduated with a thesis on fish propulsion...I can guarantee that the situation is fishy

  3. What's fishy is OP. This post looks fake as hell (especially considering her bf supposedly cheated on her recently).

  4. consistently threatening to break up over you seeing him is a red flag and given your other comments, it’s not unlikely he’s cheating, or at the very least a horrible partner. getting mad when you confront him? both suspicious and toxic.

  5. Yeah. Every time I bring something up, he always says I'm arguing. So instead of talking about my concerns, I ended up just apologizing and taking it as it is. Plus, he threatened to break up with me so many times and I'm always the one fixing the relationship and apologizing.

  6. Marinara flags flying over here! If I were him, I would be surprised and so happy to see you but to act defensive like that and the fact you mentioned that he cheated on you before in the comments? Leave. Don’t walk. Just run away as fast as possible

  7. This is not your fault. I would be ecstatic if my partner did this. You saw his car when he said he wasn’t home. He got mad you tried to do something nice 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

  8. Nothing about his response seems reasonable. If you have time, it may be worthwhile sitting outside his apartment for a while and see if he comes out with someone else. I hope I'm wrong for your sake. That was a very kind and considerate gesture that you made to go there and bring breakfast.

  9. We were supposed to call last night at ten pm. We agreed with this time because he should be hime by then as he works in the morning. I waited for him all night. He never did call. He told me last night he's going to his friends house because some of his friends are there because of the pool.

  10. Pretty sure if he sprained his ankle he wouldn’t be walking to work if he has a car. This leads me to believe he was home and lied to you and didn’t want you to come in. Why wouldn’t he want you to go in the house?

  11. Why he kept reasoning out and telling you he didn't want to see you at all? Seems like he didn't recognized your effort to drive hours just to see him.

  12. Even as someone who wouldn’t appreciate being surprised this way, I would never refuse to open the door and then proceed to get angry at my SO to that level - I can’t imagine any truly loving partner would. He’s likely hiding something like the others said.

  13. That's honestly what I was just hoping for yesterday. If he didn't like that I surprised him that way, he could have just let me in and told me. Not text me and tell me to go home because he doesn't want to see me. And lie to me. I don't know what's wrong with me that I still have feelings for this dude and crying over him right now.

  14. I'm breaking up with him. Thank you. This sub reddit taught me so many things about a relationship. I appreciate all of you for all the words of wisdom and everything. I hope all of you, who's not with their SO's yet, gets to be together soon. Stay strong everyone. I'm leaving this sub now. I wish you all the best.

  15. You got this! You deserve to be with someone that respects you and fully appreciates your kindness. Be strong and stick with your decision no matter how he behaves once you tell him. One day you'll be in a space where you can look back at this moment and be so proud of yourself for doing this. Good luck!

  16. I'm really sorry this happened to you and he turned out to be such an ass, it was a really sweet gesture of you to bring him food and pain meds. You deserve better than that. Stay strong

  17. very very suspicious and the fact that he’s so mad about something so little raises even more suspicion.. he’s hiding something

  18. When I got there, I told him I'm here with the food. He told me to go home. I told him I already have the food, I can't eat it all. Plus, I brought him some pain medication for his foot because last night he told me his foot hurts so bad. I went here this morning thinking that was a nice gesture and he's telling me to just go home, otherwise, he'd break up with me. I just put the breakfast and the cream in a grocery bag and left it at his workplace. I sent him a text message of where the food was and the cream. I haven't heard from him since.

  19. Girl he is not worth this heartache. He absolutely had someone in the at apartment with him. Why on earth would he behave this way otherwise?

  20. Him breaking up with you is the second best thing that could happen at this point, right behind you breaking up with him.

  21. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's genuinely a very nice and loving gesture, whether it's a surprise or not. The fact that he didn't appreciate it, does make some alarm bells ring. I'm glad for you that you took action on this.

  22. If that was my girlfriend I would probably cry of happiness lol that would be too nice I’m glad you broke up with him 😤

  23. I’m so glad to hear that you broke up with him. I would love to have my SO bring me breakfast. There is something very wrong with the person if they do not feel that way. I don’t even know you guys, but I really feel like he was hiding something major from you.

  24. That's why I've never supirse visited to my ex. My gut said that what if I knocked the door and another girl came out? I know I was not right for not finding out. I didn't trust him but I didn't want to face the reality either. But there were so many red flags like finding hair pin (which was not mine) and tampons (I only used pads but he said he bought it to give his coworker who couldn't find her favorite brand but he could) and stain bedsheet . After all those I was pretty sure that he was cheating but before I broke up with him, he broke up with me first. Lol

  25. Yeah, I was dumb and in love. I forgave him for kissing another gurl while drunk because he said he was drunk and won't do it again. Now, I'm done and need to move on

  26. tbh if i was your boyfriend i would literally want to marry you on the spot. though your boyfriend is a bit fishy don't you think? i mean it sounds weird but hopefully you both can sort it out

  27. Yo that’s a red flag if I’ve ever heard of one. This is coming from a man. No one is going to get mad about that type of a kind gesture. Then he said that he didn’t want to see you?? Yep, he had someone over. Either go into detective mode or listen to what everyone is telling you. Chances are that a good bit of us have gone they this experience already

  28. He’s sleeping with someone else. If it helps, you sound AMAZING and I’ve no doubt you’ll find someone to give your love to who’s worth you. I’m really sorry.

  29. Not your fault. Any thoughtful person would be so incredibly happy and recognize the sacrifices you made to do something like this. Don’t change OP, but discuss this with him and hear his side and express how it made you feel, your feelings are just as important as his and communication of that is key for a healthy relationship

  30. I’m so sorry. You sound like a sweet, amazing person, and I’m sure there is someone wonderful out there who loves you and is worthy of your love. This trash belongs in a trash can.

  31. I’m glad you broke up with him. I can with 95% certainty say that man was balls deep inside something or vice versa and you interrupted. You a real one for even taking that food to his office and dropping it off outside ESPECIALLY WHEN HE DIDN’T WANNA SEE YOU 👀

  32. Reading over your other comments here, you were 100% the side piece he was trying to keep hidden. You made the right call. Do not look back.

  33. I took 2 busses and a train to see my ex and I brought him coffee and doughnuts. He didn't pick up or answer the door. So I left it at his door, and let his roommate know to make sure he eats the doughnuts. He got mad at me for talking to his roommate.

  34. Lol I’m reading this really late, after your edit. But good you ended it. Literally nothing about what you did was wrong. You went so far out of your way to do something nice and you got shit attitude in return.

  35. I would have parked farther down the street and waited for him to come out that way you know he lied about one thing. Then you know for sure. But idk that’s just me and my anxiety would have made me wait to be sure.

  36. What's tragic is that not everyone is deserving of kindness , and that you shouldn't always be so nice to certain people

  37. I'm not believing his story, at all. And for someone in a long distance relationship to show anger over thoughtfulness would be a major red flag, to me. Distance creates convenient boundaries for having other relationships, the two shall never meet system. And you showing up unannounced, intruded on his privacy. While I could be wrong about the two timing assumption, but I'm betting I'm not, the other side of this is just as bad. Instead of a thank you for being so thoughtful, so caring and devoted that you drove hours to bring him something for breakfast and a hope to see each other even for a few minutes, you get treatment like this. So, there you go..... if that's what you can expect now, in the long distance dating stage, the question I would be asking myself, am I willing to invest any longer in a relationship as conditional as this?

  38. He called me a psycho girlfriend for showing up unannounced. He said I should have asked first and that I intruded his privacy. I understand that I did intrude his privacy, that's why I blamed myself on the post about why he got mad. I thought it'd be nice to surprise him. It's done anyways so the best I can do is cry this all out and move on. Thank you for your comment.

  39. I am so sorry that you got treated that way. It was so sweet of you to do so. He obviously doesn’t deserve anything from you; good for you for dumping him.

  40. Babygirl he had company. I've always been able to pop up on my significant other, even tho I rarely do. You literally tried to bring him breakfast before work after he told you he hurt his ankle. Send him back to the streets sis. Even if he didn't have anyone over would you really want to deal with a guy who acted like this over you trying to do something nice....yeaaaa I thought so

  41. He's mad at me so I don't know how to ask him questions. He'll tell me that u don't have trust on him whatsoever. He already threatened to break up with me if I come to his work and say hi to him.

  42. I’m sorry but like the other commenters said, it sounds like there was something suspicious going on. likely that he had someone else over which is why he would get mad that you showed up without notice. and threatening to break up if you go to his workplace sounds like he could be lying about work as well. for him to get defensive and say you don’t trust him when you ask is also a big red flag, I think you have every right to be suspicious from what you’ve shared. it is definitely not your fault that you wanted to do a nice surprise for him. it’s just very possible that he is seeing someone else nearer to home (possibly a coworker) for him to react the way he did.

  43. Now focus on yourself from now on and abstract from dating. Find yourself a real man who’s willing to stay up every night etc to do beyond the bare minimum

  44. Yeah. I'm done dating for now. I'm going to focus on my degree and goals. He couldn't even do the bare minimum tbh. I realized how it's always me doing everything in this relationship. Calling, visiting, sending gifts, etc. I spent so much money, time and effort in this relationship that all went down the drain. Because I did it for the wrong guy.

  45. I didn't want to do that because I know he'll call me crazy. And he did. Me showing up unannounced at his apartment and work place is apparently psycho girlfriend level. Even tho, I did tell him I'll just drop the food and pain meds at his work place.

  46. You are so sweet and you did absolutely nothing wrong. You seem like a caring loving person that just wanted to see someone you care about and he’s in the wrong. He is 100% wrong! Find someone that deserves because he clearly does not! Stay strong!

  47. Good on you for breaking up with him! I'm not going to read the other comments, but even if there were no funny business going on... No, ESPECIALLY if there were no funny business, that is just completely disrespectful and a relationship -ender in my book. A girl's gotta have a sense of self worth. You claimed at least that, but probably dodged a bigger hassle down the road.

  48. Sounds like he had another chick in the house and you’re getting cheated on. He got so angry you came to his house because he wasn’t trying to get caught doing whatever it was he was doing! Glad you ended it!

  49. Hey, I am sorry this happened, this is really weird and rude of his part. I think 99% of people would if there long distance spouse showed up even if out of the blue, especially with gifts of delicious breakfast 🥞.

  50. I broke up with him. I finally realized how bad the relationship was. It hurts that I drove hours, spent so much time, energy and money to see him for a few minutes only for him to turn me away like that. He said that I was a psycho girlfriend for doing that. It honestly sucks that I'm still here crying for a guy that probably never even cared about me in the first place. Thank you for your comment.

  51. You deserve so much better <3 no matter what his reason may be, truthful or not. Your gesture is an expression of love that so many other people would appreciate tenfold.

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