I don't care what they are. I care that they think thanksgiving is for discussing politics. My in-laws tried twice on Thanksgiving and both times I politely told them nobody wants to go on about politics today so either keep it to yourself or go to another household where they enjoy bickering all night because I'm not having any of that in my house today.
Feels good to be the big dog in the house lmao, at my first Thanksgiving I hosted I told everyone it was bar rules all day. No politics, no religion, you're cut off at four. Everyone commented that it was one of the best family holidays we had in a while. Had to drag my cousin out back by the ear but hey he will get it eventually.
That happened at my ex's sister's wedding. Her grandfather is a huge trump supporter. He tried to bring it up during and I said "It's really not the time or place to talk about it. It's her wedding, let's just enjoy that"
This is what I do. Limited contact. Politics are off the table. I will never bring it up. If someone else does, expect me to leave. I'm the minority opinion, I will not tolerate being ganged up on.
Keeping talking about how much I like Stormy Daniels. Top it off by saying how considerate Trump was being of his wife, as she had just given birth and couldn’t meet his needs.
I had an aunt that would include me in mass emails with batshit right-wing bullshit. I started replying to all debunking the claims. After 2 or 3 times I stopped getting the emails.
My mom signed me up for the spam calls and texts for republican party members donations. I know because when the texted once it mentioned her by name. I've now added her to every bullshit political fundraiser for the most far leaning left individuals I can.
Over agreeing with people is an excellent tactic. If I actually had to deal with any vocal Trump supporters, I'd tell them how much I admire his ability to line his own pockets while claiming he's going to save America.
I know it's missing the point but... Nuking Beijing would make inflation worse. Much of our inflation has simply been China's zero covid policy and the huge supply loss caused by their lowered economic output. Obviously destroying their cities and killing their people exacerbates that. Them being at war with us means no trade, so that's even more inflationary, still. And more generally, war is basically always inflationary. None of that statement makes sense.
Almost all of my family are Trump supporters. I'm actually making it a rule at my wedding that political discussions of any kind will have you thrown unceremoniously out of the ceremony and no amount of apologies are allowing you back in. I have people of all religions, backgrounds, races, and political beliefs attending and if you can't find some other topic to discuss, then you're not welcome.
Word of advice is to have a couple people ahead of time agree to be unofficial bouncers for you for the entire night. Otherwise you may be the one physically escorting someone out, and that's not a fun memory to have of your wedding day.
Extended family went far right Trump and I wonder if I’ll ever have a wedding that isn’t a small, private thing. Am gay, and I don’t think I could handle anyone there that wasn’t 100% happy for me and was just hiding resentments for queer people’s basic human rights. Just makes me sad to even think about how it would play out, especially the religious ones who would think they’re being the bigger person or making some grand gesture for even showing up, praying about it with other religious folks before going like it’s a special mission into the world of darkness.
We had a large inflatable "no politics" hammer at ours. Anyone could fetch the hammer and (sensibly) hit anyone discussing politics. Worked really well at subduing any political talk and all our guests found it hilarious.
Not a bridezilla at all!! One night, I threw my brother out of my house and banned him from attending my wedding the following day. We are sitting around talking, and politics came up. He started spewing far right wing conspiracy theory bullshit. DH and I told him we would have people of many backgrounds at our wedding and we would not tolerate talk of politics at the wedding. He said he was an adult and could talk about anything he wants. We promptly asked him to leave, and when he refused we called the cops. He left before the cops arrived. Haven’t had to endure his far right wing conspiracy bull shit since.
That is not being a bridezilla, that's keeping the peace and protecting your guests. If they can't follow a no-politics rule, then they don't get to enjoy your wedding. I like it lol.
Have you ever seen What We Do In the Shadows? Be an energy vampire. Pick a subject you know a LOT about. When the word Trump is spoken, wait (make it seem natural) and insert your topic in all it’s minutiae. For me, that might be dogs.
I had to check, so just to save everyone time, Trump hates dogs and did not have a pet at any point in his life. Ivanka Ivana (first wife) had a poodle at one point, and the poodle hated Trump and according to her autobiography, the dog hated Donald and would growl at him.
As many of you have noted, that use the internet, it has been announced that Disney has acquired the rights to the Star Wars franchise and in the summer of 2015 we will see the release of Star Wars Episode 7. Herewith is my proposal for the plot of that movie.
I do this at work when politics come up. I'm not stupid enough to discuss it at work and it baffles me that anyone is. But no here comes my boss bitching about the stolen election.
I used a similar trick this past week with someone. He doesn't specifically bring up politics, but he makes passive/snide comments that fall into the far right looney hole.
That’s honestly the best way to deal with anyone toxic! I tend to call it the “grey rock method” (aka be as boring as a grey rock) to get them to shut up and go away
My dad is left leaning, my father in law is right leaning (not so much a Trump supporter so much as a better-Trump-than-a-Democrat type). They once did a road trip together to visit me and my SO. They talked about grout for the entire trip while my sister napped in the back seat.
I work in a pretty obscure tech field and this has come in handy. Oh yeah let me talk about obscure telecom stuff from 40+ years ago in depth. No like seriously the differences between Q.931, TR 41459, 4ESS, and NI-2 are really interesting, hear me out... Clears out a room real quick.
This. My sisters and their families are all Trumpers, I am not, nor is my partner. When they start talking politics, I ask them to stop. I actually walked out of restaurant when my two sisters wouldn’t stop pontificating over lunch. I just stood up and left because I’d asked them repeatedly to change the subject and they would not.
Yes. I've told this to everyone I'm close with in the same situation: relationships are a choice, even with family. I choose to maintain that relationship, but it now requires strict boundaries on political talk. We're not as close as we were, but the alternative is that I choose not to maintain it at all.
Not just Trump, but I’ve had very different political views going back to the time I was in high school. At one point my father pushed me really hard and I gave it to him about why I believed he was wrong and was being small minded about a particular subject. He and I didn’t speak for months.
That's the problem- the whole thing with Trump and why he's so popular is he told a bunch of people those beliefs they're always being chastised for are actually right, and everyone else is wrong. Go ahead and blame vulnerable people, racism is justified, those in need are stealing from you...it's all true! You've been vindicated!
Your advice is sound but I wanna add something. If you do this expect to be seen as the problem. Expect to be seen as a "thin skinned cuck" or whatever their nonsense is atm.
This is so crazy. This is very similar to my story of coming up for air. It happened with his first impeachment, where trump said “read the documents”. I did exactly that, and it was very clear who was the guilty party. Everything changed since then. I had to relearn the conservative teaches of Reagan is great and Obama is bad. It was a difficult process to say the least.
“Higher education is liberal brainwashing” — a mindset that immediately impacts my opinion of a person, and limits how hard I would debate with them. It’s almost as if continuing education expands knowledge and perception of the world at large. Anti-education folk don’t want to think big and they’re threatened by those who do. They’re the same who would bitch about how they’ll never use X subject in “real life,” completely unaware that the brain only gains when it’s challenged. It doesn’t matter that you don’t use the quadratic formula, you were taught to give your brain a workout and increase critical thinking.
Jesus!!! What a roller coaster. So sorry you had to go through all that. Obviously your intelligence and compassion come through in your writing and it sounds like you're "on a different level" than some of these family members.
God, do we have the same family? I miss my brother. He thought Trump was insane, laughed at it all, but then my dad brainwashed him. My uncle was already racist but it got alarming. And my Grandma from Germany, I’ll never forget how scared she said she was to live thru this again. She was talking about hiding in cupboards as a child, because of Hitler. She’s scared living with my dad, uncle, and brother because they’re all hardcore Trumpers. I can’t stand it!!!
My dad every once in a while brings up that I’ve been indoctrinated by liberal professors at college. I push back and point out that I learned critical thinking, not any policy indoctrination. Then I don’t talk to him for a few weeks. I mean honestly, I never even learned what a fallacy was until college. College is pretty much, “Here’s the critical thinking tools, look at both sides and explain which side makes more sense.” I mostly avoid politics with my family. It keeps the peace, but I can’t say it’s not an elephant in the room. It does feel like the relationship has gotten more superficial, knowing that we’re on opposite sides of reason/madness.
I was in a similar boat. Family conservative, never thought much about it til Obama. Suddenly my family was calling him "that n*****" and I was like welp, guess I'm a liberal now because that's fucked up.
Huh, there's another interesting connection between Nazi Germany and the Republican party hidden in your post. The Nazi regime blamed Jews for Germany's rough economic position at the time. And it sounds like the Republican talking heads all push that same idea, but Democrats are the cause instead of a specific ethnicity.
I truly DESPISE people who vote solely with their wallets/for a perceived “Paying Less in Taxes.” I truly do. They are saying that they don’t care that people WILL DIE or suffer, due to cutting/eliminating social services, or benefits or food stamps, etc, all for them to save .01% in their taxes. They don’t care about the suffering of these cuts or laminations will provide because they don’t know the people that it will directly impact or they believe that people who are poor or use these benefits don’t deserve outside help or the help of the government to survive. I have a lot of members of my mothers family who believe this and they are some of the most disgustingly hate filled, money grubbing parasites this world has ever seen. They Hem and Haw about how they don’t like some of what the Republican party is doing socially (Which I KNOW to be total BS) but that is not more important to them than paying .1% more in taxes.
It's insane how many families, friends, relationships have been destroyed over ONE FUCKING INDIVIDUAL (if you'll pardon my potty mouth). Never before in my life have I seen a whole country more divided over any single subject.
Hey! I know it's not the point of the story, which, jeez, hope you are in a better place at least mentally, but I wanted to say that the LGBT+ community can just be referred as that. Other longer acronyms can be used depending on the audience, but yeah, no need to worry if you don't know all the letters or longer acronyms.
It's similar in the UK with brexit. My folks, despite the twisted clusterfuck it has turned out to be, still insist they would vote for it again. Feel like banging my head against the dinner table whilst stabbing my throat with a fork when it comes up so we try our best to avoid the subject.
Brexit has had a direct negative effect on me (long distance relationship EU/UK) and my mother going on about how the UK is gonna do sooo great in a few years had me in angry tears trying to explain to her. To be fair, it was on the drive before my grandma’s funeral and I was also upset her bringing up politics in the first place.
The constant doubling down is the most hopeless feeling through all this in the last 6 years. No matter what a shit show it is, people found their horses and they're gonna ride them into the ground because they can't admit they're wrong.
It’s funny because I have 1 uncle who’s a republican and the other 20 of us aren’t. Dude stopped coming to events because he “feels attacked” but none of us ever talk about that crap
My dads like that. Only die hard trump supporter in our immediate family and we've all made it abundantly clear how we feel after he has repeatedly forced the issue into every conversation. Now he knows not to bring it up and since that's literally the entirety of what he crams into his head 24/7, he has nothing else to talk about. Now he feels excluded because we don't want to talk about that and it's all he can talk about. So now he feels shunned or not welcome which is ludicrous.
I just struggled with this a little a very good friend of mine is conservative. We lived in Baltimore together. I moved to the Eastern shore. We stayed in touch and many times over the years both side I refuse to hate the other side. We just didn't talk politics to each other. I have a transgender daughter she has a transgender step son. We handled that in 2 different ways. But she for a little while called my daughter my daughter. Her Husband is a typical Trump supporter and even prior to Trump was offensive to be around. Kinda of abusive. So when she told me they were retiring to Florida I was immediately worried for her. She relies on her friends for some sanity and has a very active social life. It's been a month and the other day she called my daughter the other child. Being away from Baltimore almost immediately set her free from having to act not racist or homophobic. I am a little shocked at how fast it happened. I dont think she changed rather just evolved into what she was always hiding.I don't ever want to hear from her again. These people are harmful do what you need to to stay safe
Same here. I’ve eventually drifted far enough away that I simply stay away though. I love them, but I find the relationship to be rather toxic to me. My father is also very racist, and I grew very tired of hearing it. There are many things beyond just political views driving this separation, but it is a part of it.
Can relate. I grew up around this. The funny thing is all the people they rail against and hate are my friends now and turned out to be much better humans and far more “Christian” than they pretend to be.
My father is deeply racist, too (plus homophobic, xenophobic, and sexist). He was spoon-feeding us horrible ideas our whole childhood and got so mad when we got old enough to figure things out for ourselves and didn't agree with him. People like this will never change, they will never get better. They will only get more resentful and hateful.
I'm from Brazil. Its the same shit, but with Bolsonaro. They're beyond saving. Turn off the volume and let them speak to themselves, it saves so much headache
Did this to my parents. Blocked fox news when I was over last. They called me to help fix it. Told them their cable company doesn't offer it anymore. They'll never figure it out.
My in-laws are trump people. My wife is at odds with her father and I try my best with him. We will never see eye to eye on things. I’ll take digs at trump people but I’ll shoot back at my own camp (Pelosi being the big one) to try and show him that we have more in common than we don’t. I’ve tried to see his side, truly. I’m an open minded rational person that is open to all ideas. He’s not, I’ve bent in the wind. At this point I feel like my father in law simply can’t get out of his own way. He’s right, everyone else is stupid. The question I’ve been asking myself and my wife asks herself… is it really worth it. What’s the value you gain?
My family also likes trump and I don’t. So I refuse to discuss politics with them. I’ve learned over the years, there’s no reasoning or debating with them.
Never argue about politics or religion with people you like. Those are two things that people won't change their mind. Doesn't matter where people are on left-right scale or do they believe the god or not. Core values take years and years to slowly change.
You accept that your spouse will eventually stop coming to your holiday get-togethers and you'll eventually get divorced. Then you can listen to your family gloat about how they were right all along and never actually acknowledge that they were what caused a huge rift between you and your spouse.
That is so extremely sad…. I’m sorry. Especially as I am someone who’s spouse is currently not talking to my Grandparent because of their online political “discussions”. 😒
I just gave up on them. All the trump supporters in my family just can't stop themselves from getting political over the slightest conversation. So we kind of had two separate but equal Thanksgiving parties.
That problem solved itself for me. They won't speak to me, so that solved my problem. Now, out of 7 pairs of aunts and uncles, and 30+ first cousins, one aunt and one cousin are willing to speak to me.
What did I do? Well, my entire extended family was Trumpy before they had a Trump to worship. Deep hillbilly roots. I knew from a very young age I did not belong. Moved away as soon as I could and never looked back. I show up for the occasional funeral and holiday. They know I exist, but our lives don’t overlap much.
My life story except my parents saw right through his B's as we watched the first press conference after inauguration (2017). After the capital riot my dad was asking his friends who said it was ANTIFA how many black people they saw in that crowd. We may not agree on some things including the details of what ANTIFA is, but damn if that comment wasn't enlightening enough to shed some light on how to get through to some rural insurrection deniers.
I had this experience with a number of members of my family and a few friends. It made me realize that I was doing all the work to keep those relationships going. It hurt to realize, but it was also something I was glad to know. Now I put my time and energy into people who appreciate and reciprocate.
Most of my extended family are small town yokels who support Trump. They're honestly really nice people. Just very isolated. I do my best not to talk politics and nod and smile when they bring it up. Usually they'll get the hint that I don't really agree and would prefer not to talk about it.
It's nice that they change the subject and respect your differences. This has not been my experience and I think it would be better for everyone if it was more common.
During the 2016 campaign I was at my grandmother's funeral when I said enough. My nan was 100 when she died, so the generation the age of my parents were all late 60s and 70s, and after the funeral ended they started criticizing the Hillary bumpersticker on my car and talking up Trump. I was the only one of her grandchildren present and decided then that it was the last contact I'd have with those people.
Between constant church, trump, and covid conspiracy theories from my family, I just cut them completely off in July-ish of 2020 and haven't talked to any of them since. Yeah, I'm that shitty son who is "estranged" from their entire immediate and extended family.
Yep. Between politics, racism, and the like, conversations were really stressful. And I reminded myself that they weren’t calling me, so I was the only one maintaining the relationship. So I called less. And less. Now we talk maybe a couple times a year.
Both my father and best friend are trumppublicans. I had to go no contact with my father and am low contact with my bestie. I had to do what I needed for my mental health.
I cut out some family members recently. Man does it feel good. For the longest time I just dealt with it. Family does not mean they get free reign on your life and choices.
Leave. I'm so tired of everyone acting like you owe it to your family to hang around even if they're a bunch of racist pieces of shit. If people are bad you should kick them out of your life whether it's your own mother or cousin or whoever it doesn't matter. No amount of bad people is worth your sanity and there's nothing you can do to save them.
If they are like the Trump supporters in my family, that is not up to the OP. Trumpers relate everything to the greatness of Trump or the evil of liberals. Football? Kneeling. Food? Soy boy vegans need to eat more steak. Money? Biden killed the economy. Religion? Trump is basically Jesus. TV? Too woke. School? Liberal indoctrination centers. There is nothing they won’t bring politics into and shove Trump into.
Americans are funny. Never in my life in Britain have i heard about family life being disrupted by political views (unless obviously very inappropriate).
So a lot of the comments here are circulating around not talking about politics. The problem is, OP did not say they're having differences in how to properly address the homeless situation or how to appropriately allocate budget funds for education or research. No. OP asked what do you do when your family is full of Trump supporters.
Exactly, I always knew everyone in my extended family was conservative, even though they've never been the type to mention politics. All the "kids" are adults now, so my uncle's started to slip, and let loose some pro-trump opinions.
Same thing with my girlfriend’s father. This guy is probably the most worthless piece of shit I’ve ever met (abusive drug addict who can’t hold down a job), but blames Mexican people for the fact that nobody will hire him.
Stop interacting with them if they push the issue. I've walked out of the past 3 family holidays I've attended because politics come up and they refuse to drop it. There won't be a next time.
If you really wish to spare the relationships, avoid politics at all costs but stand your ground if confronted
Honestly, this is the perfect way to handle it!! You worded this very well
Fake covid around holidays.
“You’re right, it’s not really COVID. Your toxicity is making me sick “
Better off getting a stomach flu. “It’s coming out both ends like fire aunt Karen, so sorry. I don’t wanna destroy your toilet.”
They don’t believe in covid
I have a couple pictures of positive tests for just such an occasion.
How are you going to test positive for something that’s not real????
Real covid not as pleasant.
I don't care what they are. I care that they think thanksgiving is for discussing politics. My in-laws tried twice on Thanksgiving and both times I politely told them nobody wants to go on about politics today so either keep it to yourself or go to another household where they enjoy bickering all night because I'm not having any of that in my house today.
Feels good to be the big dog in the house lmao, at my first Thanksgiving I hosted I told everyone it was bar rules all day. No politics, no religion, you're cut off at four. Everyone commented that it was one of the best family holidays we had in a while. Had to drag my cousin out back by the ear but hey he will get it eventually.
This is just common etiquette honestly. I don't care if you're left or right, it's not my intent to make anyone uncomfortable at Thanksgiving.
That happened at my ex's sister's wedding. Her grandfather is a huge trump supporter. He tried to bring it up during and I said "It's really not the time or place to talk about it. It's her wedding, let's just enjoy that"
This is what I do. Limited contact. Politics are off the table. I will never bring it up. If someone else does, expect me to leave. I'm the minority opinion, I will not tolerate being ganged up on.
Keeping talking about how much I like Stormy Daniels. Top it off by saying how considerate Trump was being of his wife, as she had just given birth and couldn’t meet his needs.
Then say how much their daughter looks like Ivanka and how you’d like to fuck her too.
The one porn star all alt righters support (in person).
My father sends me more right focused political emails than I typically get in text/call spam from solicitors.
I had an aunt that would include me in mass emails with batshit right-wing bullshit. I started replying to all debunking the claims. After 2 or 3 times I stopped getting the emails.
Here's what I sent my mom after she sent me some inane garbage. We are Canadian:
I wish we had an unsubscribe button IRL.
lol I just blocked my dad's email when he wouldn't quit sending me this kind of qanon shit. turns out he doesn't have much else to talk about
My mom signed me up for the spam calls and texts for republican party members donations. I know because when the texted once it mentioned her by name. I've now added her to every bullshit political fundraiser for the most far leaning left individuals I can.
Could you perhaps unsubscribe him from those emails and reduce from the source?
I've found that 'agreeing' with them works.... surprisingly well.
So engaging them basically. Just sarcastically.
I like to give them "conservative/conspiracy" reasons for "liberal" causes.
Over agreeing with people is an excellent tactic. If I actually had to deal with any vocal Trump supporters, I'd tell them how much I admire his ability to line his own pockets while claiming he's going to save America.
He had me at hating the Chinese government and not the Chinese people, but lost me at nuking Beijing.
I know it's missing the point but... Nuking Beijing would make inflation worse. Much of our inflation has simply been China's zero covid policy and the huge supply loss caused by their lowered economic output. Obviously destroying their cities and killing their people exacerbates that. Them being at war with us means no trade, so that's even more inflationary, still. And more generally, war is basically always inflationary. None of that statement makes sense.
Did everyone clap too?
Almost all of my family are Trump supporters. I'm actually making it a rule at my wedding that political discussions of any kind will have you thrown unceremoniously out of the ceremony and no amount of apologies are allowing you back in. I have people of all religions, backgrounds, races, and political beliefs attending and if you can't find some other topic to discuss, then you're not welcome.
Word of advice is to have a couple people ahead of time agree to be unofficial bouncers for you for the entire night. Otherwise you may be the one physically escorting someone out, and that's not a fun memory to have of your wedding day.
I hope you have a whiteboard posted with # of people kicked out for politics when it starts lol.
Extended family went far right Trump and I wonder if I’ll ever have a wedding that isn’t a small, private thing. Am gay, and I don’t think I could handle anyone there that wasn’t 100% happy for me and was just hiding resentments for queer people’s basic human rights. Just makes me sad to even think about how it would play out, especially the religious ones who would think they’re being the bigger person or making some grand gesture for even showing up, praying about it with other religious folks before going like it’s a special mission into the world of darkness.
We had a large inflatable "no politics" hammer at ours. Anyone could fetch the hammer and (sensibly) hit anyone discussing politics. Worked really well at subduing any political talk and all our guests found it hilarious.
Not a bridezilla at all!! One night, I threw my brother out of my house and banned him from attending my wedding the following day. We are sitting around talking, and politics came up. He started spewing far right wing conspiracy theory bullshit. DH and I told him we would have people of many backgrounds at our wedding and we would not tolerate talk of politics at the wedding. He said he was an adult and could talk about anything he wants. We promptly asked him to leave, and when he refused we called the cops. He left before the cops arrived. Haven’t had to endure his far right wing conspiracy bull shit since.
That is not being a bridezilla, that's keeping the peace and protecting your guests. If they can't follow a no-politics rule, then they don't get to enjoy your wedding. I like it lol.
AMEN, YOU are in charge of your own wedding
The fact that people would bring up politics at a freaking wedding is absolutely insane.
I volunteer to bounce at your wedding, and bodily heave any violators out of the door Fresh Prince style.
Have you ever seen What We Do In the Shadows? Be an energy vampire. Pick a subject you know a LOT about. When the word Trump is spoken, wait (make it seem natural) and insert your topic in all it’s minutiae. For me, that might be dogs.
I can hear Collin Robinson.
Become Colm from the derry girls is what I'm getting from this
This is advice I needed six years ago
This is genius. It’s better if all the shit you say is just spun out of thin air.
I had to check, so just to save everyone time, Trump hates dogs and did not have a pet at any point in his life. Ivanka Ivana (first wife) had a poodle at one point, and the poodle hated Trump and according to her autobiography, the dog hated Donald and would growl at him.
What Colin Robinson does is a finely tuned art that he's mastered over several lifetimes, it's not going to be easy to just pick up on this skill.
As many of you have noted, that use the internet, it has been announced that Disney has acquired the rights to the Star Wars franchise and in the summer of 2015 we will see the release of Star Wars Episode 7. Herewith is my proposal for the plot of that movie.
I do this at work when politics come up. I'm not stupid enough to discuss it at work and it baffles me that anyone is. But no here comes my boss bitching about the stolen election.
I used a similar trick this past week with someone. He doesn't specifically bring up politics, but he makes passive/snide comments that fall into the far right looney hole.
When they call you a dumbass, you know youve got em
FUCKING Colin Robinson.....
That’s honestly the best way to deal with anyone toxic! I tend to call it the “grey rock method” (aka be as boring as a grey rock) to get them to shut up and go away
Welcome to autism!
'Go Colin Robinson on them' is a great tactic. I hope it catches on.
My dad is left leaning, my father in law is right leaning (not so much a Trump supporter so much as a better-Trump-than-a-Democrat type). They once did a road trip together to visit me and my SO. They talked about grout for the entire trip while my sister napped in the back seat.
And hey Lazlo, guess what? It's possible a cocker spaniel came over...
He is possibly my favorite vampire of the show because of this.
Fucking guy
I work in a pretty obscure tech field and this has come in handy. Oh yeah let me talk about obscure telecom stuff from 40+ years ago in depth. No like seriously the differences between Q.931, TR 41459, 4ESS, and NI-2 are really interesting, hear me out... Clears out a room real quick.
This is called the grey rock technique and can be used to disinterest people from wanting to talk to you about anything.
ADHD here: "watch what they have to do to mimick our power"
Eeeevil! I like it
Don't talk about it and tell them not to. If they insist, stay away and tell them why.
Yep, set clear boundaries.
This. My sisters and their families are all Trumpers, I am not, nor is my partner. When they start talking politics, I ask them to stop. I actually walked out of restaurant when my two sisters wouldn’t stop pontificating over lunch. I just stood up and left because I’d asked them repeatedly to change the subject and they would not.
Yes. I've told this to everyone I'm close with in the same situation: relationships are a choice, even with family. I choose to maintain that relationship, but it now requires strict boundaries on political talk. We're not as close as we were, but the alternative is that I choose not to maintain it at all.
I tell the family that there are no politics or a god in this house.
Not just Trump, but I’ve had very different political views going back to the time I was in high school. At one point my father pushed me really hard and I gave it to him about why I believed he was wrong and was being small minded about a particular subject. He and I didn’t speak for months.
That's the problem- the whole thing with Trump and why he's so popular is he told a bunch of people those beliefs they're always being chastised for are actually right, and everyone else is wrong. Go ahead and blame vulnerable people, racism is justified, those in need are stealing from you...it's all true! You've been vindicated!
Your advice is sound but I wanna add something. If you do this expect to be seen as the problem. Expect to be seen as a "thin skinned cuck" or whatever their nonsense is atm.
Oof. I wish I could sit and read this whole thread.
This is so crazy. This is very similar to my story of coming up for air. It happened with his first impeachment, where trump said “read the documents”. I did exactly that, and it was very clear who was the guilty party. Everything changed since then. I had to relearn the conservative teaches of Reagan is great and Obama is bad. It was a difficult process to say the least.
“Higher education is liberal brainwashing” — a mindset that immediately impacts my opinion of a person, and limits how hard I would debate with them. It’s almost as if continuing education expands knowledge and perception of the world at large. Anti-education folk don’t want to think big and they’re threatened by those who do. They’re the same who would bitch about how they’ll never use X subject in “real life,” completely unaware that the brain only gains when it’s challenged. It doesn’t matter that you don’t use the quadratic formula, you were taught to give your brain a workout and increase critical thinking.
They call everyone sheep while they watch Tucker Carlson and Fox News to find out how they should feel.
Jesus this all sounds so familiar.
Jesus!!! What a roller coaster. So sorry you had to go through all that. Obviously your intelligence and compassion come through in your writing and it sounds like you're "on a different level" than some of these family members.
God, do we have the same family? I miss my brother. He thought Trump was insane, laughed at it all, but then my dad brainwashed him. My uncle was already racist but it got alarming. And my Grandma from Germany, I’ll never forget how scared she said she was to live thru this again. She was talking about hiding in cupboards as a child, because of Hitler. She’s scared living with my dad, uncle, and brother because they’re all hardcore Trumpers. I can’t stand it!!!
This hits home.
My dad every once in a while brings up that I’ve been indoctrinated by liberal professors at college. I push back and point out that I learned critical thinking, not any policy indoctrination. Then I don’t talk to him for a few weeks. I mean honestly, I never even learned what a fallacy was until college. College is pretty much, “Here’s the critical thinking tools, look at both sides and explain which side makes more sense.” I mostly avoid politics with my family. It keeps the peace, but I can’t say it’s not an elephant in the room. It does feel like the relationship has gotten more superficial, knowing that we’re on opposite sides of reason/madness.
So many times I've wanted to write something like this up, the length bredth and specificity.
I was in a similar boat. Family conservative, never thought much about it til Obama. Suddenly my family was calling him "that n*****" and I was like welp, guess I'm a liberal now because that's fucked up.
Huh, there's another interesting connection between Nazi Germany and the Republican party hidden in your post. The Nazi regime blamed Jews for Germany's rough economic position at the time. And it sounds like the Republican talking heads all push that same idea, but Democrats are the cause instead of a specific ethnicity.
I truly DESPISE people who vote solely with their wallets/for a perceived “Paying Less in Taxes.” I truly do. They are saying that they don’t care that people WILL DIE or suffer, due to cutting/eliminating social services, or benefits or food stamps, etc, all for them to save .01% in their taxes. They don’t care about the suffering of these cuts or laminations will provide because they don’t know the people that it will directly impact or they believe that people who are poor or use these benefits don’t deserve outside help or the help of the government to survive. I have a lot of members of my mothers family who believe this and they are some of the most disgustingly hate filled, money grubbing parasites this world has ever seen. They Hem and Haw about how they don’t like some of what the Republican party is doing socially (Which I KNOW to be total BS) but that is not more important to them than paying .1% more in taxes.
I'm sorry you went through that. I feel like there's a lot of people who have lost their connection to family for similar reasons.
It's insane how many families, friends, relationships have been destroyed over ONE FUCKING INDIVIDUAL (if you'll pardon my potty mouth). Never before in my life have I seen a whole country more divided over any single subject.
That’s a very sad story, but enlightening. Thanks for sharing.
This was a painful reply but I feel like many of us share parts of your story with you. I'm so sorry you have to go through that.
Hey! I know it's not the point of the story, which, jeez, hope you are in a better place at least mentally, but I wanted to say that the LGBT+ community can just be referred as that. Other longer acronyms can be used depending on the audience, but yeah, no need to worry if you don't know all the letters or longer acronyms.
It's similar in the UK with brexit. My folks, despite the twisted clusterfuck it has turned out to be, still insist they would vote for it again. Feel like banging my head against the dinner table whilst stabbing my throat with a fork when it comes up so we try our best to avoid the subject.
(As an American) I didn’t really understand exactly how big of a deal brexit was until I started seeing posts in
Brexit has had a direct negative effect on me (long distance relationship EU/UK) and my mother going on about how the UK is gonna do sooo great in a few years had me in angry tears trying to explain to her. To be fair, it was on the drive before my grandma’s funeral and I was also upset her bringing up politics in the first place.
The constant doubling down is the most hopeless feeling through all this in the last 6 years. No matter what a shit show it is, people found their horses and they're gonna ride them into the ground because they can't admit they're wrong.
It’s funny because I have 1 uncle who’s a republican and the other 20 of us aren’t. Dude stopped coming to events because he “feels attacked” but none of us ever talk about that crap
My dads like that. Only die hard trump supporter in our immediate family and we've all made it abundantly clear how we feel after he has repeatedly forced the issue into every conversation. Now he knows not to bring it up and since that's literally the entirety of what he crams into his head 24/7, he has nothing else to talk about. Now he feels excluded because we don't want to talk about that and it's all he can talk about. So now he feels shunned or not welcome which is ludicrous.
Man, that is one seriously insecure dude.
What do you do? Lots of cannabis
At least four pots.
I was gonna talk to my MAGA fam, but I got high. I was gonna debunk info wars, but then I got high. Oh, and now my bro's in jail, and I know why.
Can confirm. My husband and I are the outliers, and cannabis has helped.
Smoke two joints before you smoke two joints then you smoke two more.
Is everyone here me?
My whole family are Trumpanzees except for me. And I do smoke a fair amount of cannabis. Logic checks out.
holy cow, im in MI, I never forget an edible when it comes to family gatherings. really saved my ass on thanksgiving.
Sr. I'll have 2 marijuanas please
Don’t talk about anything other than The Crown and Downton Abbey
OP is gonna need a bigger blunt
Yea and avoid politics sadly. My family claims to not support him but still votes republican which at this point is an oxymoron
Thats always the awnser, question doesnt even matter!
Hold on to your values
Hold on to your butts
I just struggled with this a little a very good friend of mine is conservative. We lived in Baltimore together. I moved to the Eastern shore. We stayed in touch and many times over the years both side I refuse to hate the other side. We just didn't talk politics to each other. I have a transgender daughter she has a transgender step son. We handled that in 2 different ways. But she for a little while called my daughter my daughter. Her Husband is a typical Trump supporter and even prior to Trump was offensive to be around. Kinda of abusive. So when she told me they were retiring to Florida I was immediately worried for her. She relies on her friends for some sanity and has a very active social life. It's been a month and the other day she called my daughter the other child. Being away from Baltimore almost immediately set her free from having to act not racist or homophobic. I am a little shocked at how fast it happened. I dont think she changed rather just evolved into what she was always hiding.I don't ever want to hear from her again. These people are harmful do what you need to to stay safe
Same here. I’ve eventually drifted far enough away that I simply stay away though. I love them, but I find the relationship to be rather toxic to me. My father is also very racist, and I grew very tired of hearing it. There are many things beyond just political views driving this separation, but it is a part of it.
And it's so exhausting to hear how racism rules their lives
Can relate. I grew up around this. The funny thing is all the people they rail against and hate are my friends now and turned out to be much better humans and far more “Christian” than they pretend to be.
Really sorry to hear that.
This comment describes my connection with most of my dads side..
My father started being radicalized after Obama but trump gave him permission to go full out.
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Hate to THIS but this!
My father is deeply racist, too (plus homophobic, xenophobic, and sexist). He was spoon-feeding us horrible ideas our whole childhood and got so mad when we got old enough to figure things out for ourselves and didn't agree with him. People like this will never change, they will never get better. They will only get more resentful and hateful.
You can't change the people around you. But you can change the people around you...
I thought it was.."You can't change the people around you, but you can change the people you are around".?
Deep thoughts with The Deep…
I'm from Brazil. Its the same shit, but with Bolsonaro. They're beyond saving. Turn off the volume and let them speak to themselves, it saves so much headache
Use the parental controls on the TV to block Fox News
Did this to my parents. Blocked fox news when I was over last. They called me to help fix it. Told them their cable company doesn't offer it anymore. They'll never figure it out.
I told my parents to stop watching the news. It’s addicting nonsense, and it’s unhealthy.
Payback for blocking Fashion TV!
My in-laws are trump people. My wife is at odds with her father and I try my best with him. We will never see eye to eye on things. I’ll take digs at trump people but I’ll shoot back at my own camp (Pelosi being the big one) to try and show him that we have more in common than we don’t. I’ve tried to see his side, truly. I’m an open minded rational person that is open to all ideas. He’s not, I’ve bent in the wind. At this point I feel like my father in law simply can’t get out of his own way. He’s right, everyone else is stupid. The question I’ve been asking myself and my wife asks herself… is it really worth it. What’s the value you gain?
That’s sad
My family also likes trump and I don’t. So I refuse to discuss politics with them. I’ve learned over the years, there’s no reasoning or debating with them.
Never argue about politics or religion with people you like. Those are two things that people won't change their mind. Doesn't matter where people are on left-right scale or do they believe the god or not. Core values take years and years to slowly change.
My dad is (i think mostly to piss me off) so i wore a shirt on his bday "Make America Gay Again" 😇😇😇
The shirt should have shown Reagan making out with Lincoln
Your whole family is full of Trump supporters, but you are not? The solution to this problem is simple, just eat more Trump supporters.
But... What if you are what you eat?
You accept that your spouse will eventually stop coming to your holiday get-togethers and you'll eventually get divorced. Then you can listen to your family gloat about how they were right all along and never actually acknowledge that they were what caused a huge rift between you and your spouse.
Sounds like it would be way better to stop going to your old families get-togethers and instead focus on your chosen family with your spouse.
I would choose my spouse over family 100%.
That is so extremely sad…. I’m sorry. Especially as I am someone who’s spouse is currently not talking to my Grandparent because of their online political “discussions”. 😒
I choose my spouse over everyone.
I just gave up on them. All the trump supporters in my family just can't stop themselves from getting political over the slightest conversation. So we kind of had two separate but equal Thanksgiving parties.
I love how none of us have any idea what the "recent shenanigans" are. Depending on your definition of "recent" this could mean a million things.
That problem solved itself for me. They won't speak to me, so that solved my problem. Now, out of 7 pairs of aunts and uncles, and 30+ first cousins, one aunt and one cousin are willing to speak to me.
What did I do? Well, my entire extended family was Trumpy before they had a Trump to worship. Deep hillbilly roots. I knew from a very young age I did not belong. Moved away as soon as I could and never looked back. I show up for the occasional funeral and holiday. They know I exist, but our lives don’t overlap much.
My life story except my parents saw right through his B's as we watched the first press conference after inauguration (2017). After the capital riot my dad was asking his friends who said it was ANTIFA how many black people they saw in that crowd. We may not agree on some things including the details of what ANTIFA is, but damn if that comment wasn't enlightening enough to shed some light on how to get through to some rural insurrection deniers.
If your family is very redneck-y (can relate), you just gotta stress what a sissy city-boy Trump really is.
There seems to be a correlation to the amount of exposure to the world you have and your tendencies to follow Trumpism.
Stop talking to them. Honestly, when I stopped calling my mom, I realized how little she cared to call me first.
I had this experience with a number of members of my family and a few friends. It made me realize that I was doing all the work to keep those relationships going. It hurt to realize, but it was also something I was glad to know. Now I put my time and energy into people who appreciate and reciprocate.
Be grateful you collected all the stem cells that would differentiate into brain cells from the other sperm.
Most of my extended family are small town yokels who support Trump. They're honestly really nice people. Just very isolated. I do my best not to talk politics and nod and smile when they bring it up. Usually they'll get the hint that I don't really agree and would prefer not to talk about it.
It's nice that they change the subject and respect your differences. This has not been my experience and I think it would be better for everyone if it was more common.
I just stopped talking to them, permanently.
During the 2016 campaign I was at my grandmother's funeral when I said enough. My nan was 100 when she died, so the generation the age of my parents were all late 60s and 70s, and after the funeral ended they started criticizing the Hillary bumpersticker on my car and talking up Trump. I was the only one of her grandchildren present and decided then that it was the last contact I'd have with those people.
Between constant church, trump, and covid conspiracy theories from my family, I just cut them completely off in July-ish of 2020 and haven't talked to any of them since. Yeah, I'm that shitty son who is "estranged" from their entire immediate and extended family.
Just because someone shares your DNA does not give them permission to mistreat you. Sometimes you just have to remove yourself from family.
Yep. Between politics, racism, and the like, conversations were really stressful. And I reminded myself that they weren’t calling me, so I was the only one maintaining the relationship. So I called less. And less. Now we talk maybe a couple times a year.
Damn, I'm in the same boat.
Both my father and best friend are trumppublicans. I had to go no contact with my father and am low contact with my bestie. I had to do what I needed for my mental health.
You get yourself uninvited from family gatherings. I did. And all I had to do was hate Trump.
Good for you man
It's funny, the last several years has revealed to me that much of my family are racist assholes that only think about themselves.
Be grateful for your self-awareness and critical thinking skills.
Family are basically your oldest friends that you didn’t get to choose.
I cut out some family members recently. Man does it feel good. For the longest time I just dealt with it. Family does not mean they get free reign on your life and choices.
I've always thought this. They're your starter set, that you use to practise.
Yes. People don’t seem to understand that history with someone does not equal undying faithfulness & connectedness.
Ask them which do they consider his greatest achievement while in office. The five hundred thousand dead citizens or the twenty two million lost jobs?
Leave. I'm so tired of everyone acting like you owe it to your family to hang around even if they're a bunch of racist pieces of shit. If people are bad you should kick them out of your life whether it's your own mother or cousin or whoever it doesn't matter. No amount of bad people is worth your sanity and there's nothing you can do to save them.
Talk about other things..?
If they are like the Trump supporters in my family, that is not up to the OP. Trumpers relate everything to the greatness of Trump or the evil of liberals. Football? Kneeling. Food? Soy boy vegans need to eat more steak. Money? Biden killed the economy. Religion? Trump is basically Jesus. TV? Too woke. School? Liberal indoctrination centers. There is nothing they won’t bring politics into and shove Trump into.
Go low contact? Move? Unfriend all of them so you never have to see the crazy shit they post online?
My family covers the whole spectrum of political ideologies.
Americans are funny. Never in my life in Britain have i heard about family life being disrupted by political views (unless obviously very inappropriate).
Get a new family.
Stay away from my family.
Then you are like me. You are heartbroken and realize that you never really knew these people after all. Trumpism is not politics...it's fascism.
So a lot of the comments here are circulating around not talking about politics. The problem is, OP did not say they're having differences in how to properly address the homeless situation or how to appropriately allocate budget funds for education or research. No. OP asked what do you do when your family is full of Trump supporters.
Exactly, I always knew everyone in my extended family was conservative, even though they've never been the type to mention politics. All the "kids" are adults now, so my uncle's started to slip, and let loose some pro-trump opinions.
If they insist on talking about it you may have to cut them off. If they don't, it'll be okay.
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I shame them for knowing more about Trump than they do their own children, nephews, and nieces.
It’s not just Trump; but he brought the white entitlement, homophobia and racism out of my partner’s family. It was always there before Trump
My parents are the worst with this - always the little comments.
Same thing with my girlfriend’s father. This guy is probably the most worthless piece of shit I’ve ever met (abusive drug addict who can’t hold down a job), but blames Mexican people for the fact that nobody will hire him.
Stop interacting with them if they push the issue. I've walked out of the past 3 family holidays I've attended because politics come up and they refuse to drop it. There won't be a next time.
Find a new family and assume I’m hatched from an egg.