1. Not acting childish. Sounds so strange but the most mature people usually have no problem tapping into their childish or silly sides. Immature people overdo it trying to be „cool“.

  2. Conversely, telling someone they're a stick in the mud because they aren't comfortable acting a certain way. I'm a naturally reserved person. I like quiet music, peaceful settings, and spend a lot of time in quiet contemplation. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with me.

  3. I could never figure out growing up how I ended up being friends with the bullies from the next street. Now I think it was because, when they hung around me and my friends, they didn't have to act all tough and cool, they could just be goofy kids and have fun.

  4. I literally chose not to throw away my childishness so i wouldnt grow up to be some angry, depressed 30 year old with a tax problem

  5. It took me over twenty years to realise my depression was caused by the fact that I was never allowed to be a child. I just ordered a 1.8m diameter tortilla blanket so that I can be a burrito and I almost cried when it arrived. Be a child whether or not you are an adult

  6. I know a lot of people that are incredibly mature because they decided not to get married, not to have kids, work a job they enjoyed and lived a life they wanted.

  7. My dad in a nutshell. "Stop being happy with your steady job that pays enough so you can afford whatever you want and leaves you with tons of free time, life and work need to be a grind and a fight or you're not doing it right!". I guess that's my gift to him, so he can have something to be angry about, the only thing that makes him happy.

  8. Yeah teachers thought I was mature as a kid, I was also diagnosed with depression in the third grade. I think those things are pretty strongly related.

  9. Right! My sister-in-law got all high and mighty about how childish l was while l was goofing off. I reminded her that l have a PhD, longest relationship to ever hit my family, no credit card debt, never had a bankruptcy, own my own house, never missed a payment, have an 800 credit score,... I kept going listing all the things she doesn't have or didn't do that supposedly makes me an adult. I admit that l am no adult, l am a well put together child-man and will remain that way! Now let me light my Stanwell pipe and go down this bitchin slide before this little shit Kevin!

  10. Nothing wrong with enjoying, as long as it isn't at others expense. I've met some people who immediately think you're a complete ascetic hateful puritan because you ask them to turn the music a little down so that you can have a little rest (or sleep). Now those people are immature, not the average Joe enjoying themselves.

  11. That’s an interesting one. I’m a career chef so I’ve always worked with teenagers. Even as a teenager. The most intelligent and driven guy I worked with was 18 2 years ago. I kinda hoped my son would be like him. He’s not but, my sons been at the job for a year at since 14 and he does a great job. Proud of him.

  12. My family thinks I am skirting responsibility by not having kids. I know a lot of people who had them thinking they were obligated to, and neglect them.

  13. You can legally do it at 16. It's literally something we let children do. And then 30 somethings get in a twist over it, thinking it makes them an adult.

  14. Anyone can have a spouse and a kid, I know teenagers that have had kids and stuck around with each other I know grown people that had spouses but as soon as they had a kid on accident they dip and find a different spouse.

  15. I had someone tell me that you are not an adult until you have children...so even though I put myself through school and have a decent job, anybody with a kid is more adult than me. Mildly infuriating.

  16. Some lady had asked me if my wife and I had any children, I told her that we didn't, and that we can't afford children at the moment. She told me "oh don't worry about finances. You just have kids and worry about the finances later; you will figure out how to afford it as you go." I'm not going to bring a child into this world just so they can starve because I didn't make sure I can afford to feed them. One of the worst pieces of advise I've ever received from someone (my wife and I didn't follow her advice, we are still childless)

  17. As I told a motherer in college disagreeing with our teacher and giving the whole "as a mother" I'd heard this spiel way too many times so I just said "just because a man came in you doesn't make you any more intelligent."

  18. Reminds me of a friend who got married young. Told his coworkers about it and apparently they started treating him differently/as if he were more adult. Totally baffled about it.

  19. I hate how people don't view relationships as serious if you're not married. You can be with someone for 10 years but people will just see it as "avoiding responsibility" or assume someone is cheating or unhappy. Didn't know involving the government is the only way to validate my connection with my partner.

  20. "When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” - C S Lewis

  21. I was dating a girl recently, and I showed her my PSP. I have it since 2007, original battery and everything, and I play PSX games from time to time. When I showed it to her she said " What are you, 12?"

  22. Always thought there'd be a point where I wouldn't be interested in things like videogames or Transformers. I looked at my dad and felt one day I'd just mature enough to put it all away. That day has not yet come. I'm 50.

  23. When I was young. I read the Bible a few times. This isn’t verbatim but my favorite verse was always” when I was a child I acted like a child, when I became a man I put away childish things”. I’m not the oldest person at work(I am top 5) but I always just joke around in the most immature way possible. And they do to. It’s fun. Mindsets change as a person grows.

  24. I think this quote is misused a lot by people who never bothered to even try to become an adult in the first place. You can enjoy childish things, you just also have to have a little bit of responsibility. I'm fairly certain that playing video games all night while dressed as Bat Man and ignoring your kids is not what C.S. Lewis had in mind when he wrote that.

  25. The other day, a cousin of mine (20y) made fun of my sibling (25y) for wanting to go to an amusement park ride - one of the fastest roller coasters in the country, saying 'rides are for kids, grow up'

  26. This is unironically part of why I left the construction industry, everyone is a stoic hypermasculine egomaniac. Literally could not joke about anything without getting shit on. And the people that did joke were the least funny/most hateful people on earth

  27. Someone told me recently that the cute bag I got was childish… it’s a dragon, with a window for displaying enamel pins. I like collecting pins. I like dragons. What’s wrong with having a cute backpack/purse in this hellscape of a world we live in?

  28. I recently went to a 300m long bouncy house parcours! It was totally awesome and actually only for adults! Also I was the youngest in our party (35), the other ones were all over 40 and we all had a great time

  29. An older colleague/ friend once said to me “There is a difference between childish and childlike.” She said this when I was feeling self conscious about being a grown adult but still liking many things we are taught that only kids are supposed to like.

  30. Older people at work have been surprised quite a few times when they saw me read during a break... Goes from positive to disappointment real fast when they learn I mostly read fantasy.

  31. Those people are just very shallow in personality. They can’t imagine that other people like different things, so they belittle them for it.

  32. Yes! I was having a conversation with my aunt about how movies and video games often have sound issues because it all comes out at the same level (Tenet being the culprit) and she said “so to make that more cerebral” and changed it to be about yoga. Like I’m so sorry that I’m 34 and enjoy playing video games. Actually I’m not, and I don’t get why it offends you that I do something I find fun.

  33. “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” - C. S. Lewis

  34. I have seen many examples of people mistaking arrogance with confidence. Confidence, of course being a sign of maturity. I have been there myself when I was younger. Incredibly arrogant and I thought I was being confident. But confidence is someone who is secure in themselves and who don't feel the need to prove themselves to others all the time. Arrogance is the opposite of that.

  35. I would add confidence is being able to learn and change without feeling like you're being attacked. I have confidence in myself enough to acknowledge when I'm wrong and not lose that confidence

  36. As someone (M33) who's never been more confident about themselves, work and life in general, I fully agree. I have two coworkers, M18 and M21 and they constantly try to "outdo" eachother and the youngest tried that with me, too.

  37. This right here. I have known some high level people in a few different fields (sports, music, military). While there is definitely a certain level of competition from people because those fields self select for competitive types, you can tell who is insecure because they are constantly trying to prove to you how awesome they are.

  38. Many people have developed the ability to disguise arrogance as confidence because they know arrogance is unsightly yet they still want to show off. It's a social evolutionary skill and i hate it.

  39. Girls getting their period. A lot of people think girls "become women" when they start their period. I was 10 when I started mine and still a literal child.

  40. Being stiff and ”mature“. Basically putting yourself above others due to their position in comparison to yourself. That just shows insecurity if anything

  41. When the eldest child is made to be a third parent and is good at it, it does not mean they’re mature. They’re still children…children forced to raise their siblings.

  42. I’m an eldest daughter and had to do this. I had my first kid a year ago and will never do this to him. I love my siblings but growing up that way has made me unable to relax properly.

  43. This hit me like a sack of bricks. Being the eldest of joint custody children meant being the authority figure twice as often as either of our parents had to be. It objectively sucked, and I probably won't have kids bc imo I've already been there and done that.

  44. I ended up in this situation looking after my brother and his friends. Years later the friends parents all said they never had to worry about their kids if I was there. I was 2 years older than the eldest of these kids and responsible for up to 8 at a time. Truth is I never had the option to say no at the time.

  45. A close family friend had to do this for a huge group of siblings when she was young, and now she’s near the end of her life and just now really learning how to let loose and have fun.

  46. I always apologize to my sons when I make a mistake. I want them to know that owning up to mistakes is a normal, positive thing and nobody is perfect.

  47. Young people tend to go through a phase where they try desperately to distance themselves from "childish" things. They are so very super serious, in this phase, fun is not for adults!

  48. Me from 18-25. I did everything I could to be “mature”. I sold all my toys, including some very rare collectibles, and tried to act “grown up” at all times.

  49. My dad (59) has had a weekly subscription to the donald duck comics for more than 20 years, maybe 30 idk. The company once called my mom and asked if they still wanted to keep the subscription going because surely the children that read it must have grown up

  50. Being too old for something you consider "juvenile". Games, cartoons, toys, whatever. Nothing screams immature to me like ignoring something you love or putting someone else down for what they love because you think it's for kids.

  51. "Peeling watermelons" sounds wrong in my head but I have no solution for anything that would sound better.

  52. I knew a girl who did this but instead of sex and drinking it was about her age (she was 18 at the time, I was 17) and having a job. She was all like “when you’re older you’ll understand”, “now that I’m 18 I can’t be doing that stuff.” “I have a real job now and it’s so rough.”

  53. I know FAR too many people who think sex and drinking are the only things adults are allowed to enjoy. Incidentally these are also the unhappiest people I know.

  54. Saying curse words, being needlessly explicit on sex stuff you have no idea about, etc. Crudeness in general, really. As an adult, you can be crude and it may even be acceptable in certain cases. But crudeness for its own sake is childish. It's the idea of "Oooh, NOW that I'm older I can get away with saying this." Well, now that I'm even older, I realize that I don't need to "get away" with saying certain things. I just don't say them.

  55. In turn, let’s not forget that brilliant surgeons or other professionals that require a laser focused mind can be complete, drooling, batshit whacky morons outside of their field.

  56. Similarly, being in any role typically seen as a position of authority. Teachers and professors, law enforcement, coaches, managers, etc.

  57. Yeah one of my friend's ex GF has a doctors degree in machine learning. She often incredibly irrational and emotionally immature. Shows that academic achievements doesn't mean someone got their shit together.

  58. Being a doctor or a lawyer is a sign of patience and ability to finish what you start, not intelligence or maturity.

  59. Even ignoring emotional maturity, anyone who works with highly educated specialists regularly will tell you that a large portion of the job is basically baby-sitting.

  60. I've had a few young coworkers with children who acted like immature spoiled children themselves. When I called them out on it their defense is that they have children.

  61. My good friend from high school married her boyfriend of 3 years and they had a kid basically right after they got married. Her now husband is the most immature person I know and nothing has changed just because he has a kid!!

  62. Constant settling. Yes. It's true that you can't always get what you want, but so many people just accept shitty jobs, partners, homes, etc because "Grow up. Step into the real world. This is just how it is." The expectation of constant instant gratification is immature, but it's perfectly fine to pursue the things you want and have a firm, unchanging standard for what you will and won't accept.

  63. This goes both ways for me, because I see people called immature for using adult language too. Really it comes down to whether or not you can adjust your language to fit the situation you're in imo.

  64. Saying the "right" things. It doesn't mean they're speaking the truth, really believe in it, or practice what they preach.

  65. Yes. I remember when some kids in our class thought they were being super mature when they were "having sex" together when they were 13 or 14. Apparently at least some of them didn't even like the sex, they just wanted to be cool and adulty by doing it 🙄

  66. Former smoker reporting: One of the worst mistakes I ever made in my life. I got out before it hurt me mortally, but I'm asthmatic now because I was that stupid little wise ass who thought smoking was cool back in the mid 90s. Asthma isn't the joke in real life that it is on tv sitcoms. Every time I get the flu, I end up in the hospital because my lungs don't have the same ability to weather the illness the way they would had I not smoked.

  67. I like to describe my truama state as "old and young". It feels like I've lived out my entire life, and yet in many ways I'm mentally and emotionally stunted.

  68. This one is kinda sad because it’s so true. Kids are pressured by parents and extended family to start their own once they find a partner. I’m old, and not doing that to my kid. You do you.

  69. People make traveling sound like this mystical process that imparts you with wisdom and understanding. I know plenty of people that have been all over the world and are still as uncultured and closed minded as when they started. The average traveler isn't immersing themselves in another culture. They're hitting a few tourist locations and photo ops, then coming back home.

  70. Boobs. Some girls start developing early and a frightening amount of men think it's fine to hit on "young women" aka girls as young as 9 years old as soon as they show even the tiniest hint of breast development because "she's grown now".

  71. working yourself to death for a company that couldn't give less of a shit about you. okay Tony, glad you put in 6 12s this week. I read my favorite book and ate delicious homecooked meals

  72. Moving out of your parents house. Some kids I know moved out so they could just binge drink and smoke weed non-stop without their parents knowing. Other people I know stayed with their parents (seen as a sign of immaturity) because help was needed at home. Moving out doesn't always mean maturity. Sometimes understanding the advantages it may give you long term financially are worth it.

  73. Cynicism. It's just a defeated, uninspiring way to look at the world. I get where it's coming from, but it will get you nowhere in life.

  74. A healthy amount of cynicism makes you tone down expectations. I found it useful and weirdly calming, especially in "stranger does something irritating" situations.

  75. A guy in my class (14) ended up sleeping with the woman who watched his younger siblings. It's way too common for adults to trick kids into getting into "relationships", and in his case it was entirely too acceptable. Like people just think it's not creepy because the woman doing it is attractive.

  76. When I was 16, there was a 17 year old girl in my class who was talking about how her boyfriend was 25. I felt incredibly immature at the time as a 16 year old boy, but in hindsight, what the hell 25 year old hangs out with high school kids?

  77. I remember being 15 and this 20 year old wanted to date me. My parents forbid it and told me I’d thank them when I’m older. At the time I was devastated and embarrassed that I had to tell him I couldn’t. Now I am so thankful. What does a child have in common with a man that just graduated university?? It’s so predatory

  78. Also adults who say this to kids as a compliment... it nevereans anything good. They're looking for a reason to objectify them for their own needs at worst At best it means the child takes up less space in some way than other kids (IE is quieter, centers conversations around what adults talk about, doesn't interfere)

  79. Having toxic positive outlook towards life. saying things like “there’s always somebody with a worse problem thans yours” YES i know that but that doesn’t make my sadness any less painful. I hate it when people try to compare the depth of issues. If X is drowning in a lake and Y is drowning in an ocean, they’re both still drowning!! stop comparing problems!

  80. I think a lot of these answers are skewed toward the times we live in. Right now in this moment of history. We have the food supply, technology for communication, job security (the ones communicating on Reddit anyway) to be grown adults that indulge in our childhood fantasies and bring them to fruition.

  81. What aged me before my time were parents who wanted a slave with the maturity of an adult at the age of five. Emotional neglect, physical abuse, and deliberate mismedication is what made me old.

  82. Keep in kind that some of us always hated partying and welcomed the day when our friends replaced parties/clubbing with casual drinks and peaceful coffee dates. I enjoy being 30 far more than 20. When you're younger you feel like you need to take part or end up a social recluse.

  83. Agreed, but to an extent. Theres simply partying and having a good time, then theres straight up drug and alcohol abuse, and ingesting enough substances to kill a horse.

  84. Nah, I don't underatand what you're talking about. You're just agitatted because I'm more photosynthesis than a single celled protozoan like you. /s

  85. Being anti-fun. What a horrid little life some people must live to feel like that's something that they need to be considered mature.

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