1. I remember a guy going viral for putting his dick in a mcdonald’s chicken sandwich. I never seen the video though. They said he gave the m’chicken a mc’dicken.

  2. There was a guy at school who put his dick in a microwaved ham sandwich and bragged about it until everyone started taking the piss. His name was Sam and everyone called him Ham from then on

  3. Dated a girl with an armpit fetish. One of the things she wanted was for me to have sex with her armpit. It was weird banging away at her shoulder while she rubbed one out. The angles were all wrong to get any good leverage. Would not recommend

  4. I kind of have a fetish for girls armpits. It all started around when I first started jerking off. An older girl that’s family was friends with mine hadn’t shaved them completely and it turned me on seeing the longer stubble. I hadn’t seen much pussy besides in porn and idk I was just turned on by her. So I jerked off imagining her armpits. I also like the smell of a hot girls armpits if it isn’t really bad b.o. I do prefer them shaved but don’t mind some stubble.

  5. Had a housemate a few years ago that came home late one night, plastered to the high heavens. The next morning I went to check on him and found a hollowed out block of Velveeta cheese in bed with him.

  6. I had a friend in high school who said he used Vaseline to jerk off every time. I asked him if he would go buy more and he said no he just asked his mom to get some when she went to the store. I told him, you know she totally knows what you're doing with that right? He legit swore up and down that she totally believed his story of using it to prevent chafing because he played soccer.

  7. Tell him to try a coconut next time, and just leave it on the floor in his room. It ages like a fine wiggly wine.

  8. Menthol toothpaste. Worked really well. Then it went in my peepee hole. Didn’t know mushrooms came in neon red…

  9. I went to this thread, read this comment, chuckled, then I subconsciously left the thread. Probably I was thinking "the comments are not gonna get any better".

  10. Reminds me of a friend of mine growing up that put a dildo in his butt and I guess it went so far up that he couldn’t get it out. He was afraid to call 911 so he just went to bed and hoped he could get it out in the morning.

  11. It's ok, wait a couple of hours until the inevitable "women of Reddit, what's the strangest thing you've put in your pussy?" thread.

  12. A speaker. The hole in the back, the small woofer, was perfect and i could turn the music up, and get the vibrations and all. I don't wanna imagine how the inside looked, because i did this a few times. I was in high school. I don't regret any of it.

  13. A live chicken would be barbaric and horrifying but if you kill it, pluck it, gut it and cook it then somehow it's kind of understandable.

  14. A few years ago, I lived with a dude that I became pretty good friends with. We would pull weird pranks on each other all the time. One night he came home super drunk and passed out on the couch. I grabbed a jar of jam that neither of us had used for a while, pulled his pants down, and used a chopstick to lift his dick into the jam, placing his hand on the jar to hold it. He started to wake up so I ran around the corner and listened. “What the fuck? I tried to fuck some jelly? Jeez… Huh…”

  15. But the question is, was he a good enough friend to throw it away, or did he put the jar of jelly back in the fridge, thinking that nobody else knew that his dick had been it?

  16. A rubber glove with a bar of soap to lube it up with. Didn't consider that soap dehydrats the skin. Felt a pain but kept going until I finished. It was only after I finished that my bellend was literally bleeding, and not even through the tip of it! Not much blood but enough to damage it and make it too sensitive to touch for a few days...

  17. Does this actually work? Friends say it becomes too firm (the tube thing) to actually move around in an enjoyable way once you’ve started.

  18. Kind of feel like he had to be young. Those fidget spinners don't have that big of a hole do they? That had to be traumatizing for the kid. First to bring it up to his parents. And then to be dealing with this problem with a bunch of strangers at the hospital

  19. As a woman I can't answer this question but I will inform you of the dude who stole a skull from the Paris catacombs and took pictures of himself fucking it

  20. I worked in a pickle factory once and got horny and put my dick into a pickle slicer. I was fired because of it. They fired the pickle slicer as well.

  21. A woman with multiple personalities, one of them was a cat, the other was a little girl. She switched between both of them during sex and i felt like a pedophile furry. I was not prepared for that. Took her 15 minutes after sex to revert back to her 29 year old "regular persona".

  22. I messed around with a girl who claimed to be part-cat. She wouldn’t stop asking for head scratches and purred like a cat when I did it. She meowed at me while we were making out. God she was hot but it was fucking weird.

  23. As someone who's watched YouTubers with that condition talk about the condition, if she truly had DID (dissociative identity disorder) you should have stopped when either the cat or kid popped out. DID is a trauma based disorder that develops between the age of 7 to 9 when a kid is so traumatized that the brain can't form one single personality because of all the amnesia barriers created to keep it sane.

  24. When I first hit puberty, I knew nothing sexual stuff besides the fact I needed to.... take care of my needs. Being uncut, and extremely sensitive as uncut males are, especially ones that went from one day not caring about my dick to suddenly the next it being the star of the show... but I digress. You know how water filled quart jars of canned green beans are soft, but supple? Yeah, I had a few I was sure no-one would miss from the back if the pantry and one night I grabbed them and decided to test one.. for science. Felt amazing. Packed just tightly enough to give resistance but loosely enough to allow.. well you know. The problem is, my grandma had given my parents a jar or two of canned vegetables..weird ones we pushed to the back of the pantry.. one was her spicy asparagus and contained a high level, OF CAYENNE PEPPER. Yup, and the asparagus being a bit rougher than green beans means it slightly roughed up the skin, just a little, I pulled out and then... "HOLY SHITE MY DICK IS ON FIRE OH GOD OH GOD." To this day, nothing has hurt that bad.

  25. So I had a girl that really liked that jet. She would get right in front of a strong one and tell me to get behind her. Funny visual incoming, but it would blow really hard, deflect off her and then just hit my balls with crazy turbulence. Like you’d think it might feel good but it doesn’t. It was like my sack was holding on to the the back of an airplane holding on for dear life.

  26. My roommate put his dick in his step sister, then on a separate occasion her mom. Obviously her mom was his dad's wife. It all gets a little confusing, but oddly enough, I honestly doubt either of those are the strangest thing he's stuck his dick in.

  27. I guess most wouldn't consider it strange but a few years back I bought my wife a sex toy online. When the package came it included a free surprise gift that turned out to be a penis pump. Long story short, curiosity got the best of me and I tried it. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. It was extremely painful and my penis turned purple almost immediately. How anyone can enjoy that is beyond me.

  28. Ex-girlfriend who during the action turned out to be a nympho. Guys trust me if you have ever fantasized about nailing a nympho and you are not nympho yourself don't do it!

  29. As someone who periodically struggle with hypersexuality due to bipolar disorder, it's really not what it's cracked up to be.

  30. Hypersexuality sucks. We never feel satisfied and we feel horrible when we ask for more from our partners. Don't wish it upon yourself

  31. I don’t know what they are called but they have water in them and sometimes glitter and stuff and they’re the shape of a tube. They were pretty common in dollar stores back in the 90’s. I think they were intended to be some kind of a fidget toy that you squeezed or rolled over your fingers or thumb.

  32. When I was 12 i put it in the tube extension of a vacuum cleaner and then after I told my friend he said not to do that because some vacuums have blades in the rubes to cut up debris so I never did it again

  33. There’s a rather interesting research report about this from the 70s. It’s German though but rather hilarious as it also includes the various ridiculous explanations from dudes who stuck their thing in the vacuum and got it shredded in there.

  34. Not me but my bf in high school fucked an orange. We popped ecstasy together but I had to get home so he was left to his own devices.

  35. I once worked at a recycle center from 2015-2017. Id always salvage all kinds of things for myself from the dump area, bicycles, car alloys and anything of value..

  36. I didn’t really stick it in, but one time i was prepping some Carolina reaper chillys to put in the oven (slicing them through the middle removing the stems) after that i really had to go to the bathroom and i thought to myself. How bad could it be so i didn’t wash my hands before touching my dick. It hurt so bad i had to put my dick in cold water but the pain didn’t stop i was really considering driving to the hospital but i didn’t. I broke my bones before but that didn’t hurt as bad as Carolina reaper oil on my dick. Most painful experience in my life

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