1. Welcome to youth. Eventually, like your ageing golden retriever, it will just want to sleep all the time.

  2. Seriously. When I was younger I would be in bed trying to go to sleep wishing I could just take it off and put in a box on my shelf so I could just go to sleep without being bothered.

  3. Surprised this is so low on the list. Split stream a little while after ejaculation is always a surprise, even at my advanced age.

  4. See I ride horses and let me tell y’all… smashing your junk against the saddle horn when your horse bucks is one of the most painful things I’ve ever endured

  5. I'll tell ya what. I had the opportunity to ride a camel in Namibia a few years back. Thought it would be a fun experience.... Every. Single. Step. I smashed the entire collection of my manhood with the force of a mallet. Would not recommend.

  6. This is such important info for women to have actually. It took me way too long to finally comprehend that a boner doesn't automatically equate to sexy-time. Had to learn that "awkward boners" were a thing. You don't know about morning wood until you know, you know? Hey, are you stressed? Here, have an erection. It sounds hard, man. (Lol)

  7. It's completly normal but movies makes us think only girls work that way, and that we are hard on command.

  8. Il be honest, I need foreplay as much as women do. The thoughts of having sex doesn’t turn me on alone. If I’m not in the mood I get stressed because it’s a man’s duty to perform. The stress then inhibits the erection. In my experience.

  9. When you expect to be able to aim because you're a boy, but the pee comes out in random directions and ends up all over the place.

  10. As a person with no penis im curious, when taking a dump, do you guys pee as well because of the pushings, if the answer is yes, how do you guys take care of it?

  11. Women will never understand the battle to keep joy at arms length. I am most jealous of them for this reason. Medical technology where r u

  12. I’ve always wondered… when that happens do you also feel horny? Or can you be sitting there with an erection and not actually excited or wanting stimulation?

  13. Peeing through the tiny gap between te toilet and the toilet seat indirectly pissing your pants because you had a half ass boner when taking a shit.

  14. Doesn't have to be boner-related. Had it happen once because I was really cold and it had shrunk down so much that there was no downward bend.

  15. Oh my god I absolutely hate this. It's not super frequent, but it's happened enough that it's a constant worry of mine now.

  16. The worst thing is that it doesn’t happen every time, so you’re never prepared when it actually happens.

  17. I remember the very first time this happened to me when I was in preschool. The staff didn't believe me and assumed I peed myself/didn't make it to the toilet in time. I had to point out that there was no way for me to piss the back of my pants. Kinda strange that this was like the one event I can remember from that long ago, but I guess that's how the mind works.

  18. This isn't even an exaggeration. It seems it gets harder and harder to control thoughts of sex the longer I go without. It makes it hard to think, it makes it hard to do anything.

  19. I was trying to back off of fapping, and by the end of a week I noticed how horribly stressed I felt. I didn't realize how much regular orgasms were keeping me sane.

  20. Sweatpants and random boners. No sexual thoughts, no pretty women around, nothing touched you.. just starts rising like you got a red mushroom in Super Mario Bros.

  21. Always had that back in school - i stayed quite some breaks sitting at my desk furiosly trying to get him smaller- the more i thought of it the harder he gets - the trick is to NOT think about it…

  22. Bubba, I’m gonna drop some knowledge here. The grey sweats ain’t hiding it any better. No matter the size.

  23. Yuuuuup. I kind of wish they were internal. If it wasn't for my addiction to the testosterone they produce I wouldn't want them, honestly.

  24. If u pee u can never seem to get the last dribble out, u can sit on there for hours, still dribble

  25. Just turned 55…thought I had it pretty good, penis-wise. But today something happened to me that never happened before: Sat on one of my testicles. The pain? Shocking and bad. Is this a thing I have to deal with now? If so, really annoying!

  26. Accidentally getting the skin in between a zipper. Luckily doesn’t happen often, but when it does the pain is horrendous.

  27. Accidentally leaving it in the stall in a public restroom and having to race back while hoping it's still leaning precariously on the tp dispenser.

  28. On the bright side, at least you can go in balls deep. You'll never know how unsatisfying it is to not be able to go all the way in. And if you become a master cunnilinguist, a lot of women won't mind your, ah, shortcoming.

  29. Not joking here, but sometimes being larger is a real pain. Some people actually think it hurts/is too big even when it's only slightly large. Then the previously mentioned boners and such are also a pain.

  30. Same thing happens to me as a woman (well the equivalent). I’m flirty as hell when drunk but come time to have sex I’m dry as hell and literally cannot possibly orgasm after three drinks.

  31. That is very much a compliment trust me. I ain't going back to seven inches if I can ever help it. I had one that was nine and he couldn't even fit three inches of it in me, and would constantly rip me open trying. Not fun.

  32. Your partner mistaking you not being hard for being unattracted to her. Or just you know it constantly being in the way.

  33. I admittedly feel like this :( if I try to turn him on and he doesn’t get hard it is challenging not to take it personally like he’s not attracted to me

  34. And trying to pull said pubes out of the foreskin without putting your hands down your pants, its impossible sometimes to not look like you're fondling yourself. Not to mention it can REALLY FUCKING HURT

  35. i heard (from my bf) that when the toilett paper sticks to the tip and crumbles because of the moister and then if you dont notice it befor, when the forskin then roles over it and its apparently really annoying

  36. Yea I don't even bother having it in the toilet bowl while shitting i just put it in the sink next to our toilet life can be pretty tough sometimes

  37. Not the penis so much, but the balls, if hit just right these suckers will make us feel sick to our stomach and it's surprisingly easy to do, especially as we get older, am I right ball havers?

  38. Yep. Even if I'm supposedly average, my highschool girlfriend spread it around that I was small when she left me for a guy in his 20s. Almost 40, and still have major body shame issues from that.

  39. As a female I’ve always been confused about pre cum. Like what’s the deal with that? Do you feel it come and is it a good feeling or? Please explain lol

  40. If you sit down, put your hands on the ground in front of you and tilt, you should be able to make it

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