Probably

“People of Reddit, Sexy sex sexy sex sexual sexy sex sex?

If only there was a similar subreddit, but for questions more appropriate to ask when the sun goes down.

Women of reddit, what is the sexiest sexy sex sexual sexy sex thing you have done?

"Women of reddit, what is the most sex you ever sexed?"

Popsicle

Fr I get self conscious eating a popsicle in public cause idk if someone just watching and waiting for me to wrap my lips around it. I lead with my teeth now and make it look painful. This is no way to live

Lotion

Lotion/tissue combo. I have dry skin and allergies, man!

Coworker 1: Why do you have lotion behind the counter

I'm a male and i feel like it have to hide my body lotion in my bathroom when people come over because they probably think im just going to town over here with the giant bottle.

One time I watched a guy bust out a bottle of lotion on the bus and I was like "OMG is this fuckin perv about to crank it right now?" Turns out I was the perv, he just wanted to rub some on his hands.

I have lots of lotion and all my friends are like, "you really be jerking it!"

Why's everyone using lotion when masturbating? That just sounds like it would just make everything unpleasant and slippy.

I still dont get why ppl use lotion. Tried it but it doesnt feel good. If i need something like that i just use regular lube.

I don’t understand lotion as lube when jerking off. If that shit gets in the tip that’s bad news like soap.

Also. Female twins. Ugh. I hated the questions growing up and through high school. No, we do not get “freaky,” she is my fucking sister.

Or rather your "not fucking" sister

I had a grown man ask me in all seriousness If my twin and I swap boyfriends because ‘we’re the same person’ so apparently our boyfriends won’t know the difference. I had to tell him that not only will they know the difference but I am not attracted to her boyfriend, nor her to mine… he did not believe me.

Don't worry, not just twins. Just being sisters was good enough to be asked over and over at my high school.

Probably one of the few times using fucking as an adjective is not a good idea.

Wait is this a thing? Like do people actually ask that? What the fuck? If they do they need help…

I’m sorry. I’ve never understood why people think it’s okay to say that about twins.

The amount of times i heard “twincest is wincest” in fucking GRADE SCHOOL was horrific. People are disgusting.

At least you immediately know whoever said that has a porn addiction and is dumb enough to believe porn is real life. Most people don’t make red flags that obvious

When I was dating my wife, my twin brother and I took her with us to our weekly bar hangout with our friends.

Peach

Call Me By Your Name would like a word

Maybe I'm showing my age but when people talk about peaches I only think about moving to the country.

I could eat a peach for hours

I have a peach tree, and every year we get so many peaches that I end up giving like 10+ to all my friends.

The unofficial symbol for dummy thickness

Similarly, Daisy.

Damn it, some of us really do need a phallic-shaped shoulder massager!

For what purpose specifically?

The incidence of chronic pussy-shoulder is of endemic proportions.

Bro!!! Bro!!!

I just bought one because my shoulder is fucked and I keep expecting to come home to the locks on the house changed only to see the massager eating dinner with my wife and kids through the window.

Riding crops. I have one I bought when I rode horses for years, still have it and everyone assumes it's a sex thing.

Riding crops, leather care products, and a large assortment of ropes tend to earn some pretty dirty looks.

Well if you put it under your bed next to your fuzzy handcuffs I see the assumption, now if its next to your horse bridles and other riding gear they are just dirty minded and know nothing about horse riding.

Everyone thinks horse riding with the leather, whips, tight jodhpurs and boots is sexy but the reality is everything smells of horse shit and she’s always covered in mud!

I found one in the sleeper of a truck I was working on. They did not haul horses.

Pretty much anything to do with horses.

Man I just went to Amazon to ball park how much a riding crop costs… the reviews are a fun fun place, I gotta say.

Eggplant

Men: if it looks like an eggplant, go to the doctor.

Specially this 🍆

They are not at all penis shaped. They are club shaped. No penis looks like that, except maybe Mr. Meseeks.

Green m and m

Not anymore, and Tucker is pissed!

why did you write “and” instead of “&”??? its so cursed AAAAAA

Banana

Just let me eat my banana without making me feel weird

Fuck, don't mind my username I only feel called out

That's why I eat bananas like I'm wearing lipstick. I look nuts, but at least no one makes it weird

“No one's saying you can't eat a banana, Terry. But you can't stand on the comer sucking on it for 30 minutes. You have to actually take a bite.”

Massager. My wife has a magic wand that we legit use for massages and nothing else but feel like we need to hide it from plain sight.

Or any kind of massager really. Mom got me one for Christmas and I really don’t want to use it now

Same! I bought one that's technically a sex toy but I use it specifically for massage, because the curved shape of the handle lets me reach the knots on my back and apply rolling pressure in a way that more standard wand massagers don't allow for because of their straight handle and heavier build. Plus my bad shoulders make it hard to sustain, and laying on a wand doesn't really help relax severe knots, and my partner just can't help no matter how hard he tries. A curved wand is just flatly the only thing that helps.

As far as you know that is

I too leave mine out at more interesting sites

You guys should try it out on something else. They are pretty amazing

Yeah we bought one initially as a sex toy but we ended up using it more as a regular massager for neck way more often

It’s cute you believe your wife only uses it for that ;)

Cucumber

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I always feel awkward buying cucumbers as a woman. I know I’m just making salad, and I know other people aren’t looking at my produce purchases assuming their naughty by nature, but still… they’re so phallic.

I love to pick out the biggest cucumber and shout to my gf “hey honey, is this one big enough?!”

Anything penis shaped. Which is a lot of things.

"You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."

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really any long skinny cylinder.

"I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they are small. It's funny to say they are big.

Tons of formerly innocent words. Just off the top of my head, there's "head," "bulge," "package," "ebony" (this one's almost exclusively used in porn now), "gaping," "inflation," "hyper," "scat," "role-play," "bound," so many more. None of these started out meaning something sex-related, most of them are attached to some type of specific fetish now.

I don't understand the inflation or hyper terms. Do I even want to know?

Water-sports comes to mind. I just want to check out some new stuff for the lake.

i remember when a scatback was an undersized half back generally brought in on 3rd downs so that they can run routes and also usually were on return teams

This extends to other words too that used to be euphemisms, but now only retain a sexual meaning. Like

Ebony is such a nice word for the color black (etc. the ebony cat), shame it had to be ruined.

i’m just trying to do my economics homework 😭

Corndogs. Never forget high school trying to eat one in the cafeteria and feeling on display lol high school boys

Small fierce bites. Like a terrified starving rabbit trying to sneak a bite in of a carrot.

A girl with the last name “corncog” rushed my sorority and everyone kept calling her corndog and making jokes. I often wonder how she is.

Make direct eye contact with them. Then chomp.

Just eat it corn(dog) on the cob style. Y'know, side to side, preferably very quickly and while making typewriter sound effects like a cartoon character.

Hot Tubs

Shoulders.

Don’t even get me started on the clavicle

Grew up in Utah where all the girls had to wear a white shirt beneath their tank tops, it was an awful style.

Girls can't show any joint in your body unless it's knuckles but God forbid anyone has to wear a mask during a pandemic

Hitachi back massager

Sometimes you just want a back massage.

TIL magic wands are intended as a back massager

Step family

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Worst trend ever to hit the porn industry. But it’s all I have…

Oh man, this hits, I was once talking stuff with my boyfriend and I said "Yeah, like people who sexualize step brothers are weird, they can never get along, they always have to fuck" and he sees me dead in the eyes and says "You know I have a stepsister right?....I tried to sleep with her once" Literally I stopped eating and left the room quickly.

I have a step brother and I used to use Step bro online when talking about how much I hate him. I can't anymore.

Try being a blonde, horse girl with 2 stepbrothers.

Wood

Pizza delivery guys and plumbers

Woah way to call them “ordinary items”

As a female plumber...yeah. I got the double whammy; vagina and a plumber.

I'm an electrician and my apprentices fantasy is to have a girl come onto him while working like a porno. We were working a job at this young strippers house, and he had to leave early. At the end of the job it's like 630pm, she comes out in a silk robe, thanking me so much, with a beer for me, asking me to stay and smoke with her. I'm in a committed relationship so I got out of there, but he was so jealous when he heard about it, that's what he gets for leaving before the job is done lol.

My gf suggested we make a porno. I was all onboard, until she started banging the pizza guy.

leather

Black leather. And a cape. A cape would be pretty wizard. And a sweet voice box. And flashing lights.

Pudding

Cream Pie

school girl uniforms

shit like schoolgirl uniform fetishization is why I'm so glad I never went to schools that required uniforms

Come. It’s “Cum”, not “come”.

I had a retail job where we would communicate on walkies if we needed extra help at the registers. If someone was called to the register, sometimes a response would be "I'm coming!". If they had been called multiple times and were getting a little irritated, I might hear "Oh my god I'm coming!"

When I was about 14 I didn’t know what cum was and I used to use it in texts as a shorter version of “come” … mortified when I found out what it really meant

This is my kingdom cum this is my kingdom cum

I have arrived

"I cam so hard"

I’m immature. Every time I see an email at work where they abbreviate cumulative folders to cum folders I giggle a little bit.

I hate my school for that.

When I was a kid and we had to steal porn magazines from our parents it was always written as "come", the word "cum" seems to have arrived around the same time as the internet.

Actually, I disagree. "Cum" is the pornofied spelling. Traditionally it's "Come" and I still prefer that.

My partner when she has her hand stuck in the dryer and can't move.

Did you just call your partner an ordinary item?

Does this actually happen?

What are you doing, step-partner?

It’s gotten to where I just can’t slowly savor a banana in public while making eye contact with strangers.

Force eye contact and snap that shit in half

Shower head

Shower head kinda sucks tho, like it’s hard enough to breathe when there isn’t water flowing down my face lol

Plumbus

Everyone has a plumbus in their home

It is truly surprising how many people sexualize the plumbus.

The word “Daddy”

I call my dad Papi since that’s an Italian thing and he’s part Italian. I used to be relieved that I could avoid the whole sexualization of the word “daddy” since I didn’t call him anything remotely similar to that, but lo and behold, people are sexualizing the word “papi” too. I can’t win

When you have kids, you refer to each other as Mommy and Daddy or Mom and Dad. You don't tell your 2 year to give his sippy cup to "Constance" or "Bernard". You say, "Go give your cup to Mommy". Then you refer to each other as "Mommy and Daddy" in front of the kids for their benefit. Then you refer to each other as "Mommy and Daddy" when the kids aren't there out of habit and maybe because it's cute. At most cute. Not sexual.

TIL daddies are an item

My brother and his wife are expecting and he said his daughter will never be allowed to call him daddy.

Just a normal everyday 12 volt, four speed clitty flicker 5000 with realistic pump action ejaculation.

I get weird looks when I talk about my 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system. Stop the stigma.

The number 69

In Swedish the word for the number 6 is sex, and the word for sex is still sex. We can't even count to ten w/o intercourse.

Japanese school uniform.

catholic school uniforms.

Your mother

Hey, she’s not ordinary to me. She’s the most beautiful, kind, loving woman in the world. I will sexualize her as I see fit.

Thigh high panty hose.

I have long legs, and regular panty hose always slip down so the crotch is hilariously low. Like mid-thigh, early-Justin-Bieber pants low. Thigh highs are the best thing ever.

It's funny how things that used to be part of every woman's everyday wardrobe have become sexualized these days. Before the invention of pantyhose, all women wore thigh-high stockings with a garter belt. Even little girls wore them: the character

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Octopus or anything that has tentacles.

Halloween costumes, especially for young girls. 🤮

A cactus

Wait.. what did I miss with this one?

"I just made something unexpected.." - Isabela

Sleepovers. Guys think women all curl up together in skimpy underwear and eventually get it on.

Yeah we're planning a ladies cabin weekend this spring and I'm only packing my baggiest sweatpants and hoodies.

You forgot the pillow fight in lingerie

I have not once in my life thought about women "getting it on" on sleepovers

Not if it's my best friend and I having a sleepover. We'll complain about general life things, eat shitty food, and end up quoting Spongebob until 3am.

Do any guys actually think this? I've only ever actually seen this opinion expressed in TV and movies lol

Underwear, you have to wear something

I just saw a post where the tomato looked a little like a penis and so the husband wouldn’t eat them. Imagine thinking food is gendered or indicative of your sexuality.

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Don’t know what you’re talking about, tomatoes are fucking hot.

Reddit.

Especially

High heels

The bean bag game cornhole.

Step sister

Ive been scrolling, and im really surprised I havent seen tampons mentioned yet 😂 The number of men I've had the misfortune of meeting who legitimately believe that it feels "good" to insert a tampon is absolutely s t a g g e r i n g.

Jesus Christ, seriously? I’ve never heard anyone say that and thank god cause I’d kick some nutsacks in… using a tampon feels like shoving a tiny, pinchy, unforgiving weapon of war into your coot. And god forbid it’s not seated properly.

“Anything is a dildo if you are brave enough.”

This is how the monsters in Navajo myth were born.

Every piece of food that anyone thinks is sexy to eat… it’s food. It’s not sexy

Bananas, hotdogs, sausages, pickles

Vaseline

What's the one after "Germans"? It's just showing as 2 black boxes, 1 white, then 3 black boxes.

Germans???

US Navy????

Where can I see all this in one video… I’m just asking for a friend… for a research reason… it is perfectly normal.

Nazis????

Nurses. You forgot nurses.

🍌& 🍆

Plaid skirts

Really shocked no one has said school girls’ uniforms

my little pony

Ball gags. Here I am trying to kidnap someone and they think it's sexy fun time

Why is it all fruit and vegetables?

Dildos. They're like swiss army knives, can be used for anything, and yet people just have to make it all about masturbation.

What else can you use a dildo for? Genuine question

Ice cream

Fists.

leg lamp

Panties. Half the population wears them, so they’re VERY ordinary. And they’re sexualized in a way that boxers/boxer-briefs aren’t.

My wife

Panties, hosiery, swimsuits, stockings, garters, etc. literally just cause they're associated with women.