1. It's just as easy to learn things when you're old as it is when you're young. In fact, in most ways it is far easier, because I have the time, resources, and know how deliberate practice works.

  2. I'll always remember this human interest story I saw on the news once. Some lady is turning 90, and is getting a piece done. Interviewer asks her "So do you wish you'd have done anything different?".

  3. I second this: started law school at 30, graduated and found my wife at 33, started a software company at 42, selling the software company at 52 and finding a new thing to do. My wife started her PHD at 50 so maybe I will get another one too! Time is bullshit, don't buy into it.

  4. You need to get seen about peeing three times a night. It’s normalized when it really shouldn’t be. My husband thought this shit was normal until he saw a urologist about that and some other bladder/prostate issues. He ended up needing a prostate and bladder surgery - it changed what was left of his life so dramatically. Went from 3-4 times a night to once, actually properly rested every night, no pain with sex…

  5. Thank you for your words, they resonated to me so much at this probably the lowest point in my life.

  6. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying this. I am in my early 20s and it was drilled into me from many sources since I was a child that once you hit 25, your brain becomes inflexible and more difficult to learn. I have been terrified of this happening to me even though I’ve always been an avid reader and love to learn where I can. I have had this constant near crippling anxiety that if I’m not working in some “brain games” app, I’m failing to keep my brain alive.

  7. I envy nappers. I sleep on avg 4-5 hours a night. I haven't been able to nap since childhood, and the very rare times I've fallen asleep in the daytime I've always awakened miserable and grumpy (yeah, yeah)

  8. Even before 60, there are periods of your life where you take an assessment of your grandparents then later your parents and aunts/uncles and you realize, "dang, we're going to attend some painful funerals in the next 5 to 10 years."

  9. Number one is spot on. You begin to think of your own mortality more once you reach 60 plus, and people you've known for 40 plus years begin to die.

  10. My friends started dropping like flies when I hit 50, one died of MS, one died unexpectedly in her early 40s of some viral infection, my husband died from a heart attack at 54 … I could go on, but over the last 5 years I’ve lost so many people that I’ve started to look around corners for someone in a black robe carrying a scythe.

  11. My mom took care of her father after her mother passed. He was blind and needed a caretaker. My own father died in 1998 when I was 25, so it was just her and grandpa. My grandfather was 94 when he passed. Before he went, he told my mom he didn’t want a funeral because there was no one left. He had outlived all his friends. We didn’t have a funeral, per se, but we did have a get together when he was buried. They are in a place where the ground freezes in the winter, so while he passed in February, he wasn’t buried until almost June.

  12. I'm only 21 but I had that same thought as #1 when I found out a kid I graduated with died in a car accident. Shocked me even though I didn't know him. It just never occurred to me that people my age could die. He was 19 at the time.

  13. When I was younger, I never imagined I'd have to pluck my chin almost every day. Doubly annoying when coupled with degrading eyesight, lol.

  14. You're probably also more comfortable in acknowledging your weaknesses and not frantically trying to hide them from the world in case they think less of you for them.

  15. Old people constantly compensate in order to look normal, like everybody else. Didnt realize this until i got older. example -a group is walking. the effort the older people have to put in re: balance, arthritic hip or knee, neuropathy etc is sometimes very profound. but when i was a kid it just looked like everyone was walking easily.

  16. Mine are sideburns. Like wth? I’ve had blond board straight hair all my life. Now I have these gray curly sideburns growing in. I finally just started cutting them. My hairstyle covers it anyway. But dang those wiry curlies were itchy and annoying.

  17. Nobody talks about menopause and the messed up symptoms that go with it. Mental fog, moody, night sweats, hot flash, hair thinning, weight gain, low libido, and so much more I am embarrassed to name. In grade school you learn about your period. But NOBODY want to talk about Menopause.

  18. And hot flashes aren’t feeling a bit warm. It means suddenly drenched in sweat and feeling like your hair is on fire. I called it my inner child playing with matches.

  19. Vaginal atrophy. No one talks about that one. The lining of your vagina getting thinner, producing less natural lubricants, the depth of your vagina and pubic mons shrinking. No one warns you that will be a problem, but slowly orgasms are less intense, then they vanish and sex hurts and so you go to the doctors asking for help. And the first thing they ask you is if you are only doing this because your husband is making you. But finally you get your hormonal suppositories, but they cost 100's a month and you have to convince your insurance you need them all but begging while they hand out viagra like candy.

  20. I remember presenting in a big meeting and a flash hit, I was practically dripping sweat in February. Everyone looked at me in horror because they thought I had the flu or something and said I should go home and rest. I was debating whether to come clean and another older woman texted me and said just go with it, so I left! I had never lied about being sick, I loved working. That is something new I found with menopause, a different connection with other women that simply can't exist with anyone who hasn't been through it.

  21. And anxiety! I tried to commit professional suicide and went to FIVE mental health professionals. Not one said: "Oh! You are a middle-aged woman with sudden onset of crippling anxiety? Maybe menopause has something to do with it!" I had to read about it on reddit, FFS. Hormone replacement therapy has helped quite a bit.

  22. Yeah, the missed periods followed by suddenly bleeding through your clothes while driving to the grocery store suddenly 3 weeks later. That was fun.

  23. I’m a nurse and by far the worst, most depressing lecture we sat through was about the menopause. The lecture had to be stopped halfway through because we needed a break! The menopause takes up to ten years and it is brutal. The one thing the professor told us at the end to make us feel better, literally the only take away was; ‘best way to manage it is women taking care and supporting other women’ menopause awaits us! We so lucky! :)

  24. It’s an incredibly uncomfortable experience. I didn’t expect it to start so early. Eating & even drinking water can trigger hot flashes. The night sweats are intolerable. Life as you know it has changed and it can be difficult in so many ways. I just keep telling myself, this too shall pass.

  25. I fucking love menopause. The hot flashes and anxiety sucked for awhile, but I'm so happy to not almost bleed to death once a month. This is a blessing compared to what I used to endure.

  26. I really hate menstruating and recently I started getting hot flashes and chills. I thought hooray! Menopause is upon me! Early menopause!!! But actually it was covid and my mom told me she didn’t get it until her 60s sigh.

  27. 56f. Health problems kick in way earlier than many people expect, sometimes out of the blue, but often from habits and activities that people didn’t realize were causing cumulative damage. Starts in the late 30s-early 40s and many people get surprised because they perceive themselves as relatively young and healthy.

  28. I became more cautious about falling as I aged. Slipping, tripping, taking a spill off a bike or a horse... doesn't take much.

  29. Male 74, I went to a social security counseling just before retiring, when the conversation came around to health insurance, the counselor asked me for a list of my meds. My response was that I didn’t take any. She paused peered over her glasses and said, “Honey, you will.” She wasn’t wrong, ha!

  30. I feel a lot more confident now and I'm not afraid to be alone. It's far better to enjoy your own company than to be with a user or worse.

  31. It's refreshing you see this comment after scrolling through the horrors of menopause, incontinence, and sudden, unexpected health concerns. So thanks!

  32. That you don't have nearly as much control over your body as you like to imagine you do. People think that if they do everything "right" in terms of diet, exercise, etc., they can somehow age well. While those things help a lot, sometimes, things just happen and your best efforts won't stop them from occurring. Some people are genetically gifted and some are cursed. My parents abused their bodies and lived a crappy lifestyle and my dad died at 80 and my mother is still going at 80 (though in complete misery and suffering from dementia). They were genetically lucky to abuse themselves so much and live so long.

  33. That you look back on certain things in your life, and question whether or not if it actually occured to you or someone else. You know deep down it was you, but you almost don't recognize the version of you it occured to.

  34. I'm back from spending a couple of weeks around people I grew up with, and piecing together old stories from back then is like the blind man and the elephant. Everyone remembers different pieces, but not the same ones you remember.

  35. Freedom is the word. Stopworrying about what other people think when it's mostly about themselves anyways. I do what makes me happy, even in my work life balance and don't give a fuck what it brings to me because I've worked my whole life for this independence.

  36. Yes, but this involves a certain level of good decision-making leading up to getting older, so that you can have the health, financial freedom and good connections to enjoy life as years pass. For some people indeed, they see old age as living in a smaller world, but instead the world can get bigger, if one does not have to work any more.

  37. Amidst all the negative comments should be a reminder that you never catch the same cold twice and that as you age you will get fewer and fewer sniffles, coughs, and colds.

  38. In my younger days, particularly when I was in college, I would start getting bad colds in January and they would last all winter. That went on for many years. Now, when I’m pushing 80, I’m pleased to say that I haven’t had a real cold in at least the last 10 years.

  39. My nasal/sinus-type allergies from pollen sucked in my 20s. I'm back in the pollen capital of the USA that I lived in then, and I barely notice them now.

  40. Had kids late in life so caught every cold circulating in the world. Haven't been sick in years now, even covid, and I attribute it to this ..

  41. Love this, and I wish more people read it and lived the second way. I don’t know how anyone can see it as a good thing to remain unchanged from their youth. The only way that’s even possible is to reject anything and everything that doesn’t fit your own childish ideas throughout life. In other words, it’s not the brag that people think it is.

  42. Giving up ego lifting in the gym was my version of this. I can still keep up with the kiddos but mostly stick to high reps and lower weights. Old dude tendons suck.

  43. You either appreciate yourself for committing to fitness and health at a young age or you regret not committing to fitness and health at a young age.

  44. Or you get the bad straw. I was a runner, boxer, hiker, swimmer. I lifted weights too. All job related to keep me fit and able to survive each shift.

  45. The thing I didn't expect is the complete lack of anything close to envy I feel towards young people. I thought I would envy their youthful vigour and looks, but I don't at all. I feel so completely comfortable with myself now and wouldn't want to be younger again. Don't get me wrong, I am a little concerned about the aging process but so far, as a 56F, it has been completely wonderful.

  46. You realize as you get older that people that make up your known world are passing away. Your grandparents, your parents neighbors that you grew up with, aunts, uncles, relatives of your friends, your parents and in-laws, more and more famous people that made up your conscious world - actors, musicians, politicians, writers.

  47. We all are aware of hearing loss as we get older, and it is happening to me with higher frequencies, and especially some vocal tones.

  48. All that pop music that you detested from yesteryear becomes not just tolerable but actually enjoyable. Thanks to nostalgia, I'm not cool any more.

  49. I was just thinking about this today…In the grocery store. A woman probably about five years older than me singing along to Muskrat Love. Couldn’t do it. I have classic rock nostalgia for sure but I’m not into 70’s pop yet!

  50. Extraordinary random pains. It's not joint pain, or muscle pain, just some random nerve decided to fire off. It can be anywhere on your body, and it hurts, big time.

  51. When a random yet fierce pain hits me from out of the blue, I'll tell my husband that whoever has a VooDoo doll of me, just stuck a pin in my eye. (Or wherever the fierce pain was experienced).

  52. You tend to value your friendships a whole lot more. You really start to understand how much other people mean to you when your family starts to go, your partner passes on, and you doubt youll find another. Younger people have no use for you. And all you have left is dear friends.

  53. Hah..maybe. My great uncle was a tall handsome city cop. When he retired, he and my gr-aunt moved into a senior citizen building. There was always drama and gossip because the women outnumbered the men 3 to 1. When my aunt passed away…he must’ve received 15 visitors carrying casseroles and enough baked goods to last him months…every day. He resorted to begging my aunt’s bff to being his pretend gf, which was safe because she was gay. Not out tho, not in those days.

  54. My big surprise was after menopause your body hair stops growing as fast and gets really spare. Including Pubic hair. Who knew??????

  55. Somehow, I’ve gone from being the youngest child in my family, to be in the only surviving member of my generation. I am now the senior elder in my whole family system. Everyone else my age or above has died, including aunts and uncles, cousins and the like.

  56. This. The photos my mom looked at every day, dating back to the 40’s when she ran away to marry my dad… Living to her 90’s was very lonely, I think. Her brightest spots in the week were the days I had my grandson. And having FaceTime was a game changer for her. She swore she and her sister talked more those last few years than they had the previous 30 years. They were hilarious tho, FaceTime would alert and it was my aunt who said (every time) “Oh dammit, I didn’t want you!” Then they’d talk for two hours lol.

  57. You lose your tolerance for other people’s bad behavior and you care less about what other people think of you. Both great developments IMHO.

  58. Take care of your body and save for retirement. Seems everyone thinks it’s like an extended vacation but for a lot of people it’s one trip after another to a doctor. You have plans for retirement? Try to be healthy enough to do them.

  59. You learn what it means to manage a death in the family. You go to the funeral home, write the obituary, pick out the casket, get death certificates, deal with probate, go to courthouses, cry, and deal with the grieving. It aged me faster than anything else in my life.

  60. The reduction (not cessation) of sexual urges is a blessing. Get laid once a week is nice. No more angry hormones and resentment about sexual frequency.

  61. Some of us are cursed with still-raging hormones that nag at us constantly. Add to that the scarcity of functioning available partners, and I feel like a frustrated teenage virgin. I love sex, but at this point I’d welcome some peace from the intrusive thoughts and urges.

  62. I’m invisible. I’m a 51 year old non-karen. I should be a spy with how little attention I attract. I was not prepared for this.

  63. That your brain doesn't know you're getting old. Yeah you gain wisdom and grow but I don't mean that.

  64. Especially if you like to hike! Getting out early (I left 6:20am this morning) means less traffic on the trails even on a holiday weekend.

  65. You're so right, I think it's life changing to wake up at (roughly) the same time every day of the year. I'm doing 7am now (and 6am during the 4 months where the clocks are switched for winter DST)

  66. Dreaded appointments like frequent colonoscopies, mammograms, high blood pressure hitting randomly in your mid-40's (thanks genetics), buying cereal like 'Poop Like a Champion' and adding powdered fiber supplements to your morning coffee. Not being able to handle lots of onions or spicy food not because you cannot tolerate the heat, but your stomach and digestive tract will remind you of it every 5 minutes.

  67. Ever since I was very young, I was frustrated at being sexualized, harassed, groped, and all that vile behavior. I was dismissed unless I had some kind of sexual value to a man, whether in school, work, or walking down the street.

  68. People think you don’t get old until you’re 80. News flash, it starts in your 30’s. If you aren’t disabled (physically or mentally), just wait, you will be.

  69. Shit hurts, just walking like a normal human and sudden pain in a joint. The sadness of losing your old pets who have been with you for years. Not to be a downer overall I am pretty happy

  70. The biggest weird surprise for me, besides menopause lasting for more than 10 years, was that my feet grew a full size in my 50s. I had to start all over and replace practically all my shoes - and no more cheap shoes without arch support or walking around bare foot. No one tells you about these things! :(

  71. I’ve read that the corpus callosum, which the left and right halves of the brain communicate through, changes as we age. For women, this area typically has more connections at a young age, making for a more integrated emotional/intellectual balance. But with age it has fewer connections so that women tend to become less emotional with age. In men the opposite happens, and many men find that their emotions become easier to access, so they may find themselves moved to tears frequently.

  72. The realization that no one really has it all together, we're all making it up as we go along. Our heroes all have feet of clay.

  73. - You and your friends will talk more and more about your ailments (and you will have them) - and you'll catch yourself and hate that you've become those people. :)

  74. As your earlobes droop they fold when you lay your head on the pillow and you wake up with them aching. You learn to make sure they're flat when you settle in to sleep. Nobody ever told me that. Imagine my surprise.

  75. I get a kick out of how teen-age/early 20s kids treat me with deference. When I talk they listen politely and call me "sir", like I was never some long-haired, pot smoking, skirt chasing Yahoo who drove my parents crazy. Now, just because my beard is white and my belly sags (a LITTLE, okay?) they think I deserve their respect. Hah! Suckers.

  76. I had a young trainer at my new gym. I’m 46 and strong but I don’t work out much and my muscles are pretty weak. My trainer had me doing kettle bell squats and it broke my ass. I literally could feel it tear. It took me weeks to recover and after I told her to treat me like an old lass. Build up the weights. Start small and pretend I’m in the movie cocoon. Maybe I should just take up swimming?

  77. We are born with a certain number of fucks to give. That number is indeterminate, but quite large. When we are little kids we don't know that we have fucks to give, but soon our parents and our teachers and our peers teach us to give fucks. We give a lot of fucks when we are teenagers and young adults. Then we realize that the supply is getting low so we start to give less fucks. By the time we hit middle age (it was about 45 for me), the supply is so low we really don't give many fucks at all, and then eventually we completely run out of fucks to give. This is the best part of getting old.

  78. At or very near 40, your eyes start to go. I had perfect eyes up to 40. My other half warned me but i didnt believe it. Driving at night with bright headlights coming towards you completely blinds you for 5-10 secs. Driving at night is stressful now.

  79. Depends. I’m of the AIDS generation and men my age in the gay community are relatively rare. I had no idea that there were so many young men with daddy - or granpa - fantasies.

  80. Everyone talks about hearing and eyesight slowly fading, though approaching 45 both of mine are still pretty good, but no one warned me that my sense of taste wouldn't be as sharp as in my 20's.

  81. So true, I find to really judge whether or not I like a particular wine, at least two glasses are necessary, whereas in younger days, a swallow or two was enough. I soldier through.

  82. And if all the sentient stuff doesn’t work, the goal is still yo be like the cranky old guys from the muppet show 😅😂 I’ll rock that for years 😜😘

  83. I think the biggest surprise for me has been how sexually aggressive women become toward men with working equipment.

  84. Since libido goes way down for women, then how is this true? What percentage of women stay as sexually active as when they were younger!

  85. There is a lot of printed info on death of a spouse and death of a child. But when your parents die, it is often very emotional. There are not many resources and you are expected to carry on and not grieve very long.

  86. You are still young in your head but the changes in the mirror are startling. Women wet their pants a little when they sneeze. Men go through andropause. (Like menopause for dudes)

  87. You start to realize that your parents probably had no clue what they were doing either and you might find yourself being more compassionate & understanding to your upbringing.

  88. I didn’t know anything about that problem, sorry you’re having to deal with it. I do notice that nowadays I open a car window or two at the slightest sound of an emergency siren.

  89. You understand that the doomspeakers are outright lying, or they are wrong, or they have hugely overestimated the dire consequences of what actually will happen.

  90. When you wipe your ass there’s always poop. What’s that about!! You wipe and wipe still poop. Go again still poop. Always.

  91. For the lucky people it is. I’ve had too many dear friends have severe illnesses or sudden death happen in their 40s and 50s. These were healthy people. I’m not being a downer, just realistic.

  92. Never had a surgery in my life until last year. Had one this year. It’s ridiculously easy to hurt yourself doing normal things. You loose stamina quickly, almost like you wake up one day and bam! I need a nap at 2pm. Going out on a weekday is over, even stopping at the grocery or getting gas is an effort. I just want to be home in my recliner.

  93. I didn't always understand why people dreaded getting older. I mean, you can be older and still be active, right?

  94. I have arthritis in my hands and it gets in the way all the time. I’ve never been much of a car mechanic, but it’s pretty well out of the question now. Three things happen when I try, I can’t turn screws or bolts, I break them, or I drop them six times while trying to start the threads.

  95. People think older people are more conservative but I become more radical and liberal the older I become. I'm over 60...

  96. You really need your hormones for motivation , alertness & energy , your body needs more protein got build muscle & lifting weights is harder to me. The motivation thing is really bad. Take supplements & extra protein.

  97. I cannot stay awake once I lay down in bed. I can be watching my favorite show and I will fall asleep, tops 10 minutes. I am 39.

  98. For some, sex gets better. No worries about pregnancy and the libido is still active. No insecurities either. Been there, done that, and you haven't aged any better than I have, so let's get it on.

  99. I realized about 42 that I am mortal. I have to consider physical health now. Eating shitty has consequences. Lack of sleep has consequences. I stopped drinking to try to live a better quality life.

  100. Simply not caring at all about people and their opinions. Your circle of friends and family remains small. Words mean little if the action does not match.

  101. Ask Old People has an IBS formula advertisement at the top of my page: Stop farting on Dates | Stop Stressing at work where the nearest bathroom is! It’s not normal to have diarrhea several times a day/week. It’s not normal to poop only once or twice a week… I FEEL SEEN.

  102. After we turned 60, my husband's health just went straight to hell. He'd always thought he was so healthy & invincible, so he took his health for granted. He was strong like bull and worked a physical job; fainted on the 4th of July in 2019 and fell off the back of a truck. Turned out he needed a pacemaker, then triple bypass the following year during the height of the pandemic; then an organ transplant this year. His brother dropped dead at Wal Mart, his sister died of Covid after being intubated, then my mother died, and we're just like 2 deer in the headlights lately.

  103. And if all the sentient stuff doesn’t work, the goal is still yo be like the cranky old guys from the muppet show 😅😂 I’ll rock that for years 😜😘

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