1. Are we assuming I actually have the power (ha) to do something about it?

  2. Individual taste that says: "I have no empathy and like killing sentient beings and wear their mutilated corpse as decoration"

  3. Yeah, absolutely. My little statistic I like to pull out is that the average murderer has an ACE score of 8, which is a worse childhood than 99.9% of the population. Normal people can't even wrap their heads around it. And they don't care about trauma until the traumatized person shoots up a mall.

  4. You mean me? Lol. To be honest, I don't think I've ever felt guilt, so it's hard to compare my experience with something I don't understand.

  5. When I came out as a 15 year old I came out as a boy. Now over 5 years later I feel weird saying I’m a man partially because I don’t feel like I fit in with men and I don’t relate to men much. I also see some men and feel nothing like them. Not in a bad way, just in a I don’t feel like we’re the same way because my masculinity is different than most peoples. I feel a little weird referring to myself as a boy though because I’m an adult. But man doesn’t feel much better.

  6. So, can I ask why being like them is giving them a win? My mom wanted me to be helpless and dependent, and very much did not want me to abuse anyone else. Like, I get what you're saying, but... it's not a win for them. At all.

  7. Hey, I hope it goes well! These things can be tough. I'm actually currently in the process of suing my mom (just filed). Tbh, I think more victims should try to take action like this if we can.

  8. My dad kicked me out at 18 and it ruined a year of my life. I don't speak to him anymore, for that reason and several others. There's a certain point at which someone should be encouraged to move out, but kicking someone out (especially a teenager) will only do harm.

  9. Yes, but not in the way you would typically think of "anger issues". Mostly I just want to hurt other people, and you can't even talk about that sort of thing with anyone.

  10. We could talk about it if you'd like. I've fantasised about killing my abuser in graphic, methodical ways, and that's usually when I'm at my lowest. How long have you thought about hurting other people?

  11. Uncontrolled anger, age 10. Conscious anger, 13. I just have a massive amount of rage, and every consecutive trauma only made it worse. It also "cooled" over time and become more deliberate, which I don't think is very common.

  12. I've been in one right now for the last three weeks. It's fairly mild, but I drank one (1) cup of coffee and cleaned half my apartment and felt like I had so much energy I could pop. Mine typically last a month to a few months, although it's often difficult to tell where the line between normal and hypo is.

  13. That’s exactly what I can’t figure out, where is the line between normal and hypo. It’s really quite the quandary because you also have to determine who you are in the process. Like, am I naturally uppidy? Or is that just the mania?

  14. Oh, exactly. Like, I'm always impulsive, but it can be hard to separate things like that from mood episodes. I don't really know what my natural self-esteem level is.

  15. Hypomanic right now, feeling great, resisting the urge to drink a bunch of caffeine and spiral upwards. This is very accurate.

  16. I haven’t sued anyone, but my partner works in the court system in the US. At least here, if your mom gets a lawyer it will become a lot harder to win pro se, or self represented. It sucks but a lot of people who haven’t been to law school find it really hard to represent themselves because our legal system is incredibly hard to navigate. You have to file all of the paperwork yourself on time and you won’t be able to make the same complex legal arguments a lawyer would make. So I would just be aware of the possibility of your mom getting representation, which could make things a lot harder for you legally.

  17. Maybe see if there is any free legal advice resources where you live. Even just to ask questions about representing yourself.

  18. Yeah, I've used some of those, and I'm trying to get a free consult with a personal injury attorney. Thanks though.

  19. I don’t know what’s behind that. If I’m being really generous I might hypothesize that you, as in reality suffering from CPTSD, have not figured out yet that calling people out on their moral crimes is not a moral crime.

  20. Well, to an extent. If you look at developmental trauma disorder, it does list arrests and increasingly severe offenses as a possible outcome. Conduct disorder and ASPD are trauma-based. Child abuse does increase crime. So it's not like it can't happen.

  21. Thank you for the feedback, the acne has been an ongoing issue so it is something I really need to get cleared up

  22. Get some benzoyl peroxide for starters, but you may want to see a derm.

  23. I get that feeling. To me it's even more crazy to think you can't actually prove that other people have minds of their own like you. From your point of view, I (and everyone else) might as well just be a creation of your mind.

  24. I'd bet a serious amount of money that most people think very differently that I do, but either way, kinda! I default to seeing people as NPCs, and actually thinking about them as equivalent to me is interesting and takes effort.

  25. Im sorry nature is traumatizing welcome to the fact you dont control all of life

  26. You don't know what words mean. It's bullshit like this that prevents actual discussion. Do you take issue with "homophobia", "xenophobia", and so on?

  27. I do take issue with those words when they’re used to irrationally put down someone who you disagree with.

  28. I labeled him correctly. Not calling out bigots enables them. Should we refrain from calling racists racist?

  29. Yeah. My dad both pressured me to get a job and made it difficult to do so, and neither of my parents contribute a cent to college. My mom absolutely sabotaged my education as a kid ("homeschooling") and my dad never lifted a finger. I was a brilliant writer as a young teenager, and I had that spark more or less crushed out of me, which I still mourn.

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