1. You’re not in the wrong for ending a relationship that was no longer making you happy. But he’s not in the wrong either, for not wanting to stay friends after

  2. It’s against sub rules to gatekeep what is or is not an LDR.

  3. If he has already told you that he doesn’t agree with it in relationships, then I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask, but I wouldn’t expect him to agree

  4. One of the main foundational principles of your relationship (that you were both single, and free to choose each other) has been smashed. I’m sure he has lots of excuses for why he lied, but the main one is “I knew this was bad, and you would leave if you found out”. He kept this from you, waiting for you to fall for him enough that you might look past it. That’s shitty and manipulative. I’m sure he’s great in lots of ways, but he’s poisoned the well here, and I don’t think a healthy relationship with him is possible anymore.

  5. Have a conversation about it when you’re together in person. Don’t be accusing, but say you’d like to talk about the way she texts when you’re apart. Ask if she’s okay, or if something is bothering her about you travelling. She’s clearly a bit prickly about it, judging by the curt texting, so make her feel safe to tell you what’s really going on. Don’t assume anything, just listen

  6. You’ve only been dating a month, and he moved to another state a couple days ago. Give him time to settle in, he’s bound to be busy for the first little while. If, after he has had time to figure out his new life there, you still feel he doesn’t communicate enough, then you’re likely just incompatible.

  7. I think the best thing you can do for him now is leave him alone. I understand that you are feeling a lot of remorse, and want to share that with him, but you shouldn’t.

  8. Only five months, never met, and you already bought her a laptop, paid her rent, and she’s quit her jobs so you can support her?

  9. What is your plan for revealing your relationship to his family? I understand that there are some cultural considerations, but it has to come out eventually. Without a clear timeline for that, I would also worry about the future of your relationship

  10. Yes it really went crazy. I don't know, he's been telling me he has a lot of debts to this person and that he is financially ruined that's why he cannot leave yet. He wants me to understand and is hoping for me to stay

  11. Staying would be a mistake, don’t do it. He is using you for whatever he is lacking in his other relationship, while using that woman for things you can’t give him. You deserve better, don’t be part of this. I’m sure there are all kinds of excuses for why he can’t come clean and stop cheating, none of them are good enough, and none of them are your problem. Walk away from this

  12. You're right. I'm really having a hard time. He is my favorite person in the world. We had all the interesting conversations that last hours and hours. We know each other and have a lot of memories. This is going to be very difficult for me.

  13. You are clinging to his positive qualities, and the connection you feel when you call, and ignoring the fact this man is a cheating liar. You should have higher standards for your favourite person. He’s selfish, and he is using you

  14. You need to let this go. You can never know if she cheated or not, so why assume the worst of her with no evidence? That’s only hurting yourself.

  15. It sounds like you guys spend time together daily, so I don’t think he is “taking you for granted” because for one holiday weekend he has other plans.

  16. You’ll get better advice if you say what countries are involved

  17. I think you are heavily underestimating what it is like to be a woman online with any significant following.

  18. You weren’t even together, and everything she told you was a lie. I know there were feelings there, but you need to walk away from this entirely. Block her, because you could never have even a healthy friendship with someone who did this, let alone a romantic relationship. Better to close that door, and move on

  19. Yeah this dude's whole comment (from the "females" comment to saying that drinking in the proximity of someone he doesn't like is disrespectful) is extremely problematic and harmful. He seems to be exactly the sort of dude that perpetuates the inappropriately controlling behavior your partner is currently exhibiting on the basis of some sort of fucked up pseudobiological premise... Please listen to the other commenters on this post.

  20. “Trust me, all guys are gross creeps” lol. Sir, you are telling on yourself!

  21. If you call every night for a few hours, then I think it’s reasonable that he can also game with his friends. It’s understandable to miss him, but if he wants to unwind for a bit after work, before dedicating time to you, then that should be okay

  22. She’s already told you that she can’t commit to anything without meeting you in person, which is a totally valid position to hold. I doubt she is planning a trip to see you because she’s not interested.

  23. If someone offers you an apple, the only question to ask yourself is: do I want this apple? Not “well maybe they actually don’t want me to have this apple, even though they offered, and they would rather I say no”

  24. God that's such a good way to think about things.

  25. He invited you camping. You want to go camping. So say yes.

  26. Someone being offline in steam doesn’t mean they’re with your boyfriend, that’s a giant leap.

  27. Why are you tracking their online activity? It could mean they are hiding something, or it could be a reaction to you be controlling about what they do with their own time. Have they given you any reason not to trust them?

  28. Thanks for this. No, they haven’t given me any reason not to trust them. Maybe all the bad experiences I’ve dealt with from the past is what’s causing all the doubts. I just need to clear everything in mind. I appreciate this comment.

  29. If you are talking about just having their online status hidden in an app, then I wouldn’t worry about it. Don’t jump to the conclusion it means they are talking to someone else. Not everyone likes their online status being visible, it doesn’t have to mean anything

  30. but is it possible for both us to add stuff in the same calendar?

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