I'm sorry to hear that Lauren and her husband are adamant about not introducing you to your Son, even as a Cousin! I DO think that Sara's not being completely fair as almost everyone has a PAST! You weren't out there attempting to solely repopulate the world, you were just being a bit careless, BUT so was Lauren!
Yes, everyone has a past but how common is it to have a baby with a cousin of your partner because of one's promiscuous ONS in the past. It is not just hurtful but very embarrassing. To make it worse, it's not even an accident or one time thing. And to find out like this. He did that with a lot of women and he insisted to not wear condom. That's too much to digest. She is being very generous. If I were Sara, I would leave. I wouldn't sign up for what it seems lifetime of couple's counseling and so many other possibile scenarios which would be anxiety and panic inducing. It's just easier to leave.
OOP here. Got a ton of messages of people telling me I’m a horrible piece of shit. Yeah I wasn’t a nice guy before and I fully accept that. But I DID NOT rape or abuse women, how the hell do you jump to that conclusion??!! Did I use women? Yes, and for that I’m sorry. If I could take it back I could.
Sounds like you handled this as well as possible - now it might be time to let things lie for a while, Lauren doesn't deserve to have her life turned upside down by her husband finding out.
Agreed. And honestly maybe it’s possible Lauren’s husband knows she strayed and they moved past it and she doesn’t want to revisit. She didn’t really want to talk to us so we don’t know. I’m trying to move past this situation without hurting anyone.
I think you are getting some really bad advice here. Being someone's father is about far more than DNA. Had Lauren told you when she was pregnant or when the child was a newborn and asked for your help raising the kid, I would agree you have some responsibility for this kid. But as a corollary of women have the right to choose whether or not to have an abortion, they have the right to absolve a father's responsibility for a child. She chose to absolve you of that responsibility. If you wanted to claim the right to raise the kid, you would have that right. But it is no longer your duty to do so, it is your choice. She has chosen to birth this possibly-out-of-wedlock child and chosen that she does not want the possible bio father to be involved. This child's life is no longer your responsibility, based on Lauren's decisions (but again, you have the right to become involved, but as it doesn't seem you want to, this is a moot point).
Thank you for your post, this is how we’re trying to look at it too. Terrible situation but trying to make our decision with the kid’s best interest in mind.
What is your ideal outcome here? Do you want to be part of the kid's life if he is yours? How far away do they live? How often would you be expected to see them? Do you want kids with Sara?
My ideal situation is Sara doesn’t leave me, that’s all that matters and I’ll do anything to make sure she stays. I don’t know how I feel about the kid, he seemed happy with his parents. They live several states away.
I'm sorry to hear that Lauren and her husband are adamant about not introducing you to your Son, even as a Cousin! I DO think that Sara's not being completely fair as almost everyone has a PAST! You weren't out there attempting to solely repopulate the world, you were just being a bit careless, BUT so was Lauren!
Yes, everyone has a past but how common is it to have a baby with a cousin of your partner because of one's promiscuous ONS in the past. It is not just hurtful but very embarrassing. To make it worse, it's not even an accident or one time thing. And to find out like this. He did that with a lot of women and he insisted to not wear condom. That's too much to digest. She is being very generous. If I were Sara, I would leave. I wouldn't sign up for what it seems lifetime of couple's counseling and so many other possibile scenarios which would be anxiety and panic inducing. It's just easier to leave.
I’m glad Sara has more loyalty than you.
Fortunately Sara and I are doing well. I don’t blame her as the revelations were uncomfortable for both of us. We’re stronger now I feel.
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OOP here. Got a ton of messages of people telling me I’m a horrible piece of shit. Yeah I wasn’t a nice guy before and I fully accept that. But I DID NOT rape or abuse women, how the hell do you jump to that conclusion??!! Did I use women? Yes, and for that I’m sorry. If I could take it back I could.
broooo why the fuck were you nutting inside a ONS
Just wreckless and beyond stupid. Always hated condoms. I’m fortunate I never caught anything. Not much I can do now since it was in the past.
Sounds like you handled this as well as possible - now it might be time to let things lie for a while, Lauren doesn't deserve to have her life turned upside down by her husband finding out.
Agreed. And honestly maybe it’s possible Lauren’s husband knows she strayed and they moved past it and she doesn’t want to revisit. She didn’t really want to talk to us so we don’t know. I’m trying to move past this situation without hurting anyone.
I think you are getting some really bad advice here. Being someone's father is about far more than DNA. Had Lauren told you when she was pregnant or when the child was a newborn and asked for your help raising the kid, I would agree you have some responsibility for this kid. But as a corollary of women have the right to choose whether or not to have an abortion, they have the right to absolve a father's responsibility for a child. She chose to absolve you of that responsibility. If you wanted to claim the right to raise the kid, you would have that right. But it is no longer your duty to do so, it is your choice. She has chosen to birth this possibly-out-of-wedlock child and chosen that she does not want the possible bio father to be involved. This child's life is no longer your responsibility, based on Lauren's decisions (but again, you have the right to become involved, but as it doesn't seem you want to, this is a moot point).
Thank you for your post, this is how we’re trying to look at it too. Terrible situation but trying to make our decision with the kid’s best interest in mind.
I have only one question - what are your goals here? Let's leave Sara aside for now. What are gonna do if the truth comes out?
My only goal is keeping Sara. Honestly in my state of mind the last few days I don’t care about anything else
What is your ideal outcome here? Do you want to be part of the kid's life if he is yours? How far away do they live? How often would you be expected to see them? Do you want kids with Sara?
My ideal situation is Sara doesn’t leave me, that’s all that matters and I’ll do anything to make sure she stays. I don’t know how I feel about the kid, he seemed happy with his parents. They live several states away.