1. It was a sunny day in the Floridian woods. The light was tinged green, the air smelled heavily of growing things, it was inviting and the ground was hard as rock or muddy morass depending on where you stepped.

  2. Wow-I quite enjoyed your work on this.

  3. It was a hot July day in 1879 in Greenboro, and William couldn’t wait to get out of the sun and into his uncle's pharmacy. The thought wasn’t entirely pleasant since the place had a strong astringent smell. In addition to the heat, the storm that had passed two days prior left the air humid to the point of ones clothes being soaked as soon as they were on. Still better than being in Highlands at the moment, he thought. The news had been steadily arriving about the record rains they had received in the mountains and the landslides and flooding that followed.

  4. I peek from behind the wooden slat curtains once again. There is a purple tint to the dawn as I steal a glance at the Great Unicorn Mountains rising up in its pink, blue glory.

  5. Hey Isthiswriting, nice job on this piece! You capture the emotion of the MC's perilous situation well and have some really great description throughout.

  6. Thanks for the reply. I'm glad the conflict came through.

  7. Mother always said I would pay for my peculiar passion. It wasn’t a passion for procreation like a good goblin women. No, I had never felt any stirrings like that. I desired to raze settlements.

  8. It didn’t occur to James that he was off task all at once, but slowly, in bits like a dream. First he noticed that the room lacked the echoing of the typewriters CLACK CLACK.

  9. I like the constant cuts between work, then distraction, back to work, and off the mind goes once more. You've managed to capture the daughter's cheekiness and concern for her father with just two lines!

  10. That was a great ending to the story. I may be a horrible person though because I was howling with laughter at the end.

  11. Miki looked at the rows of chocolate the store had conveniently placed so others could watch women and judge their choice of Valentine’s Day duty chocolates. Ghana brand was only 350(yen), but she didn’t hate her coworkers that much. Miki had no interest in giving her male coworkers anything. By her reckoning she owed them no debt. It was stupid, and who said she had the responsibility to provide anything on Valentine’s Day.

  12. That is a beautiful story. I thin it was very well told. The only nitpick I have is that you repeat words, especially with possessive and subject pronouns, too many times in sentences. Mostly it can't be helped while keeping one sentence, but other times I think a little tinkering would have given a better flowing sentence.

  13. I really liked this. The uneasy faux-topia. I want to know more about the world. Why are they like they are? Who or what is keeping them so? What is outside? Are there others outside? Thanks for a fun story.

  14. Thanks for the reply. I want to know more about it too. Since I wrote it I keep finding myself drawn to the forest outside the town.

  15. Jade and I sat holding hands and sitting so close together that we seemed like conjoined twins.

  16. I loved reading this! All the options were lots of fun :)

  17. Hey, isthiswriting! Well, it certainly is. I absolutely adore the way you build up a world here, telling exposition through observances in a short snippet of Alice's life. Your descriptions are great, and I love the message you tell. Well done!

  18. The mists floated over the grass and frailejones of the Oceta Paramo chilling most of the tourists camping overnight. Most of the tourists huddled in tents or one of the refuges built by enterprising locals. Most of the tourists feared the weather, knowing that the weather changed violently on the paramo, but what kept them up was the sounds not made by anything they knew from nature.

  19. The sounds of quick footsteps and labored breathing were more a companion to me than my so called guide. He was five meters ahead, but in these infernal crevices with uneven ground and cutting stone for handholds he seemed much further.

  20. It looks like you formatted your story into code blocks. It makes it really hard to read as you have to scroll left and right. Was this intentional?

  21. OMG! I've edited it three times but it keeps coming back. I'll try one more time then delete and try something else. Thanks for the message.

  22. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I had been worried it wouldn't come across because the story was supposed to have a sense of suspense.

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