1. It’s not realistic for me to have the social life I want, unfortunately.

  2. You’re welcome. It really pissed me off reading some of the responses. The assumption still seems to be that if you’re a mom and lose custody, you’re a garbage parent while men who lose custody are victims. It’s never that black and white. Best of luck to you. My inbox is open if you ever need a listening ear or support. This is hard and you’re not alone.

  3. Dad probably knows about her drug use and behavior which is why he is so restrictive.

  4. I’ll ponder this while I decide to use a psychedelic drug to work through the trauma Dad put me through during years of emotional and physical abuse.

  5. As you said he agreed to do 50/50 for the summer, plenty of people do that then go back to regular schedule when school starts. Again he is primary and without an actual schedule laid out on paper I would say it’s safe to assume he chooses it. You should go to court.

  6. And no, he never agreed to do 50/50. It just ended up being 50/50 because he had no way to stop it from happening- or he just didn’t bother.

  7. I think the key is to rely on him more when you’re not in luteal.

  8. That's a good idea. My only issue is that I generally don't need help with psychical needs like cooking, cleaning etc-- I've never had any trouble managing those by myself when I'm luteal. I pretty much just get constant breakdowns (primarily obsessive compulsive ones) where I have panic attacks, crying episodes, and feel very very bad being by myself. When we're together during that time I can even cook for him or help him with his own chores, I pretty much just exclusively need to be held, consoled, and need the reassurance that someone is there for me and that I'm loved. I'm so fragile that any even minor rejection can send me spiraling. It's very rare that the depressive symptoms are bad enough for me to need help with chores or anything like that. I don't understand why those things are so independent of one another for me, but they are. Do you have any ideas for how to create more balance when the only needs i have are emotional? I understand if not, it's hard to think of any solutions hence why I asked the public for advice.

  9. Yes! It's like they say, if a girl is obsessed with fairies and dolls, she's cute. If a boy is obsessed with trains and cars, he gets an autism assessment.

  10. I too went through a HK period. And when my mom took me to Korea when I was 9, I got to visit the Sanrio store ☺️☺️

  11. Hey! I started my healing journey recently and I’ve made some incredible progress that has allowed me to reflect on all of the destructive ways I used to cope. Like you, I’ve missed plenty of opportunities for healthy and supportive relationships.

  12. Thank you! That is a really positive way to look at it and I am grateful for the pain because it did propel me towards this.

  13. I just typed a long ass response but I had more to say so instead of writing a novel here…

  14. They threw me into social situations that could be avoided a lot in the hope I'd get beter. Now I'm autistic and have social anxiety. I guess I'm beter at being antisocial though.

  15. I’m so sorry you went through the opposite. FWIW, I think either approach lands a lot of us in the same burnout creek without a paddle.

  16. Thank you for sharing that, I understand better now why it would be hard to gauge if your mother is NT or not. The warm and cold way of reacting to behaviors is familiar to my own experience as well. Your mother making exceptions for your dad and brother sounds like a good ol' case of sexism/favoritism.

  17. Ok, after reading all your responses OP it's kinda funny that you double-down and got stuck repeating yourself. It's very ASD lol.

  18. You're welcome! Yeah it helps. Once I started actually paying attention to what NTs were telling me about other people or TV or whatever, I stopped stepping on as many hidden social third rails. "Safe topics" are how they communicate stuff, and when they talk about other people, it's Quality Info. For example I used to lose friends because of stepping on hidden social landmines regarding their other friends/partners (especially when there was a breakup or something) and if I'd actually listened to what was going on, I might've avoided the landmine.

  19. Choosing who to spend time with based on who it’s easy/rewarding to spend time around is something I have never done and strive to achieve! Lol

  20. Please do! I'm looking forward to see your comments about this topic!

  21. I’ve experienced all of these except for not having attraction/interest in anyone.

  22. Can’t wait to write a long winded response to this tomorrow 😂

  23. I find that stupid smiley face emoji makes all the difference. This one : ) When I put a couple of those in my emails - almost anywhere, it doesn’t seem to matter - I get none of those weird responses.

  24. Good point, gender roles and expectations definitely could have been a part of this. I’ve never seen my dad clean any part of a bathroom in my life.

  25. My dad isn’t diagnosed but I know he’s autistic with my whole heart and soul lol, I have also never witnessed him clean in my life.

  26. Yeah. It’s only out of character for me now because I’m in burnout so it’s rare for me to feel joy, but when I was a kid I was definitely a more bubbly, high energy, extrovert aspie who really only seemed flat/ neutral when I really felt flat/neutral. It was still noticeable because most kids got excited about things I didn’t and when I did get excited about something, it was a socially inappropriate amount of excitement.

  27. I have to say “I’m being serious” to my fiancé when I get really visibly excited and what I mean is:

  28. See… I’m beginning to think I’m actually way worse at appearing NT than I thought.

  29. It is exhausting, isn’t it? Because like, what if, regardless of how much you learn to love yourself and manage your disability… you really ARE too unpleasant for someone to be with?

  30. I do the crunch but I have to have one leg stretched out. The leg I'm "laying" on is straight down while the other leg gets bent up to where my knee is under my chin. Hands get bundles together with a blanket under my chin and zzzzz

  31. This is my crunch too! It doesn’t feel tight enough until it’s almost painful!

  32. Me too! No advice. Sleeping on my back feels so unnatural, I feel like I’m pretending to sleep for a film or something.

  33. I think I might be prone to feeling rejected or offended by NDs in disguise because I’m interpreting their behavior as NT and assume they’re rude/uninterested/selfish.

  34. I imagine my ideal self would say something like… “yo, there is nothing wrong with how you’re talking to me or what you’re saying, and I do care, but I have ADHD and I’m not able to follow or hold onto any of the info you’re giving me right now. Can we talk later, or if it’s urgent, can you give me a quick 3-5 second summary of what I need to know?”

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