1. I don’t like using trans women as well because for one I’m a teenager and two the word trans women makes me feel 50 idk why but still

  2. I prefer "transfem" myself. Sadly it's gonna take a while before that filters out into wider discourse.

  3. What do you mean? transfem is very common. It's the first one I had ever head years back and it's the one that I find people around me saying the most both online and IRL.

  4. I don't know, transfem seems decently established, though not in cishet circles it seems. I agree I prefer it, but I don't mind MtF, particularly from other trans people. If it's the right person or context, it can be understood to be interchangeable with AMAB, and that's fine by me; like here on trans reddit.

  5. Honestly I'd love to just be called a woman but MtF is just sort of easier to use for me right now, since I'm pre-everything. Dunno if there's some alternative to MtF.

  6. you could use amab or just say you’re transfemme or a trans woman. i’m sure there are more terms you could use as well

  7. Yeah, i know that there is a community who at least calls themself ftf (and i would assume mtm as well) basically meaning that they were always their gender, just that now they have transitioned into looking like who they always really were

  8. Going one step further than this, I just want to be referred to as a girl/woman without the giant asterisk that is “trans”… I understand I am a trans girl, but just as you wouldn’t refer to an Asian girl in a casual conversation as “asian” girl, I want to be referred to as just a girl and not “trans” girl

  9. I stopped using mtf ages ago! I vastly prefer AMAB; it doesn’t call me a man, it just acknowledges that I was treated like one.

  10. I jokingly refer to myself as an ex-male, but never in front of other people and I would not like it if someone else called me that.

  11. I agree, while I dont have an issue with being pointed out as trans if it matters in the context of whatever is going on, there's just no point in making the distinction most of the time. We're girls, that's all that matters.

  12. That's how I feel about ftm. I've been confronted with this term a lot lately, and I've thought about this many times. It's an outdated medical term, not an accurate description of my gender identity nor my biological sex.

  13. I hate when my family members (mostly my narcissistic grandma, she loves to play with my feelings) say things like "when you were a girl" NUH-UH. Let me stop you there. I've NEVER been a girl. And if someone wants to refer to a time before I came out, they can say "before he transitioned" or something. There is NO good reason to bring up my dead name either. Ever.

  14. I really hate the mtf and ftm terms as well as trans masc and trans femme because it seems like all they do is try to signal to others what genitals you have or what your agab is. I don't want to disparage anyone who likes those terms, I just hate them myself. I've been called trans masc in reference to a group of people who are trans and afab and the privileges we carry as such but I'm really not masculine (at least not all the time) and I don't want to be labeled as such. Yes I'm trans. Yes I'm non binary. No I'm not trans masculine. I spent years running towards masculinity (well I guess more like running FROM femininity) but as I've gotten more sure of who I am the more I tiptoe back into femme coded appearance.

  15. Facts, I always thought it was only me (cause I'm intersex I hate being referred to as Ftm) so I'm happy to see that other trans people (intersex or not) feel the same of the terms :)

  16. It’s kinda weird but I’m personally moving away rather than towards this, which is not what I expected. What I mean is that I am not as interested in being a “woman” as I am in being a “transgirl”. I want to look good, I want to be hot in fact, but don’t care if I “pass” in the conventional manner. It’s important for me to be femme, and very important that I don’t register as male in any way, but conventional womanhood isn’t a priority (not saying I wouldn’t like it, but I don’t care about it like I thought I would).

  17. Tbh I've only ever seen ftm/mtf used on places like reddit and at least in my experience aren't very common in IRL trans spaces I've been in.

  18. Definitely get that. I have used MtF for myself (mainly because of the subreddit [which I love] and not knowing the meanings of other terms; didn't want to misapply any to myself), but very much felt it was 'off'.

  19. That's a really interesting point. I've reached the place in my transition where I don't even question anymore, on any level, the idea I've always been a woman and always will be, but it didn't hit me how inaccurate calling me MtF is until just now. It didn't personally bother me before (and I doubt it will bother me going forward) but you're right, I was never a guy, I just pretended to be one really hard for years.

  20. I'm not a fan of it either because it tends to validate the narrative that trans women were men at some point despite being forcibly assigned that at birth, (and while some trans women identify with the transition from male to female), I personally don't feel it is an accurate descriptor for myself and largely it seems antiquated as our understanding of gender evolves.

  21. I get why some prefer it, but to me MtF is just a complex way of calling me a man. I’m not a male who decided to become a female, I’m a girl who’s body doesn’t match her.

  22. I know I dislike the term “mtf” and “ftm” because it misgenders closeted, pre-transition, or trans people who don’t transition at all

  23. the best way i've seen it explained is that MtF and FtM don't describe "changing" your gender/sex, but rather the transition of your social presentation and status. that won't stop phobes from trying to use it to invalidate trans people tho 🙄

  24. Saaame god. I am nonbinary but I fucking hate any discussion of assigned gender. I’ve always been agender. We need to stop qualifying our womanhood/manhood/nonbinaryness etc.

  25. I get why some prefer it, but to me MtF is just a complex way of calling me a man. I’m not a male who decided to become a female, I’m a girl who’s body doesn’t match her.

  26. I think saying mtf or amab should only be brought up if it is relevant to the conversation (like for statistics or something) but otherwise just refer to someone as their gender.

  27. I would only ever use “MTF”, “FTM”, etc. when I am directly talking about the process of transition itself.

  28. Yeah, that’s not a bad use for it, I feel like it wouldn’t be so bad if it was only used to describe the process of transitioning rather than the person transitioning.

  29. Gender is a wibbily-wobbily spectrum, some people are closer to the ends, some people are lost somewhere in the middle, and that's ok. All genders are valid.

  30. I hate the phrase “I identify as a ____” like bitch, stfu, I dont just close to be a woman, I don’t feel like one for the funsies, I AM a woman. I don’t iDeNtIfY as one, I just am a woman.

  31. I also think that it’s great if you identify as mtf and I do but I also shop at mr bakers taters as well as mrs bakers other produce for tater haters

  32. I always thought of MtF and FtM (and FtN and MtN) as being basically exclusively medical or "practical" terminology that shouldn't be applied to a person in a conversational/"normal" context unless that person chooses so.

  33. yeah id rather just kinda act like i was always a girl and the whole male thing never happened but i havent started transition yet and im also not out of the closet so its nearly impossible to do

  34. Assigned at birth. Not actually was. It's a useful label because it signifies fairly different cultural expectations and experiences.

  35. No? I was treated as a man for 16 years. That doesn't mean I was a man, but that's what I was assigned by others. Acknowledging this is not misgendering myself.

  36. They… aren’t. I am amab. I was assigned male at birth and now have to deal with that. I’m also nonbinary which puts me in a not well recognized group of amab nonbinary people. All of this affects me and is occasionally things I have to bring up. I would never ask someone else’s agab unless the conversation absolutely requires it, but honestly it’s just a factual term. “I have a dick,” “I have high estrogen levels,” “I was assigned male at birth.”

  37. Gender is a wibbily-wobbily spectrum, some people are closer to the ends, some people are lost somewhere in the middle, and that's ok. All genders are valid.

  38. Can you at least correct them first? Kicking someone in the nuts is considered physical assault, maybe even sexual. You don't want 5o go to jail, do you?

  39. I always thought of it as masc to femme, in terms of like how I present myself rather than gender identity. but also very sick ur self descriptors r valid!

  40. When people on the internet got told that mtf/ftm is antiquated language that is not inclusive of non binary identities...so the solution they came up with was to start writing “male to non binary” and “female to non binary” too.

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