Post has been locked due to low-quality comments and OP being harassed.

Wait your gf told her entire family you have strange taste in music and you didn't stop to think that she didn't like it?

he played it for her parents at dinner oh my fucking god 😂😂😂😂😂

I’m dead. Like who is like yeah I have quirky music taste, let me play this song that I’ve been blowing my load to inside your daughter for your entire family.

But more importantly, did you thrust to the beat or the melody?

Plap, plap plap, plap, plap-plap-plap, plap

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Everyone keeps asking this but he said in the OG post he thrusts to the tune.

I, a woman, tried thrusting to the best to see how and yeah, no thanks

Posted this somewhere below, but it has to be the beat... probably on the quarter notes.

There is no beat and def no melody.

Well on the bright side you are on the same level of reddit lore as the guy who fucked a coconut

It will go in the history books right beside the coconut fucker, the jolly rancher story, the girl who stuffed raw meat in her hoo-ha, and the poop knife.

I think the fame is higher. It's beyond Reddit. I brought it up to some friends the other day and they had all heard of it already.

just reddit? man brought Reddit, Twitter and Tiktok together. Man's like the Thanos of picking lovemaking songs.

I also choose this guy's dead coconut

Also as famous as the guy from Wallstreetbets that shoved an entire banana up his ass.

Link pls?

Honestly, probably higher. This has blown up on Tiktok too.

Nah...this is poop knife tier.

If you look up Hudson Mowhawke’s Wikipedia article, you’ll find that your post is mentioned

“In September 2022, Mohawke's song "Cbat", from his 2011 EP Satin Panthers, went viral on TikTok and Reddit after a post about a man having sex to the beat of the song went viral on the latter platform.”

I didn't know what CBAT was so I googled it, the story has been picked up by HITC and Indy100 too.

Can you imagine finishing second to this song?

OP: did you come? GF: yeah, to the wrong house

Yo you didn't have to kill that man.

Holy shit.

The playlist was on CD?! You’re a fascinating man

He probably left it in a CD player next to the bed so he could reach over and hit play and repeat

I want to write a case study about this guy. Not sure in what topic, maybe just freeform like “Hey everybody, check this guy out.”

It's like if tiny little bits of the last 20 years all coalesced into a dude.

Gotta have that lossless audio for the bedroom

I wonder if he would yell “REMIX!” if he made it skip.

"Hey babe, do you want to go in the other room for some 'alone time'?"

Imagine being in their car on a long road trip.

Have you guys gone through the comment section on the YouTube video of the song? Holy fuck are the comments hilarious.

Most of the top comments from the previous thread were accusing him of karma whoring. And this post pretty much confirms it.

i thought he was gonna tell us to “CDeez nuts”

That's literally a song made out of "failed boner noises"

You know those videos of Tortoises humping things? Thats what it reminds me of.

Funnily enough, I was actually listening to a Hudson Mohawke song when I got hit by a car as a pedestrian once. I’ll never forget that song, or getting hit by that car… but at least I didn’t have to listen to it over and over again for 2 years whilst getting my cheeks clapped.

I did not listen to the song with the first.post. What a mistake. Gonna cause an aneurysm laughing.

Failed boners sound like creaky doors?

theres no way this is real lmao

I know all of the words in the post are in English, but I have no idea what is happening.

He's a regular on

Seriously. And who the hell is even asking for a face reveal for this rando?

Bro i don't even care if it is anymore it's just so funny 💀

No he‘s just trying to get tiktok famous

Yeah it seems little too well crafted. Hilarious nonetheless.

We are all listening to that song just air humping to it trying to figure out the Rhythm

Damn you got me, tempo makes the most sense

Does not figuring it out mean we're terrible at sex?

the sound is everywhere on tiktok lmfao

Everyone’s thrusting their hips to how they think he must’ve been doing it 😭

here is the playlist

Wtf

Eeesh, this is quite the mix.

Homeboy has HORRIBLE taste in music

Yeah nah, there was a still a chance this was real but not with a random Punjabi song thrown into his sex playlist

I'm still convinced this is actually god-tier guerilla marketing for the artist that made Cbat.

If it's not it might as well be

I think the worst thing about the song is that it sounds like a sound effect that's made to represent a deflating penis

But why would the producer need marketing for this random ass song they made, when he’s made songs for Kanye freaking west

Hudson Mohawke is actually an incredibly established and respected artist in the underground bass music scene. It would shock me if he was trying to gain a larger following through a stunt like this because I don't think he makes music for the money/fame/notoriety but just for the love of making dance music.

This guy is just a creative writer and struck gold on Reddit with a terrible story.

Considering the number of articles written about it online right now OFF Reddit? You may very well be right.

Hudson Mohawk is actually famous in the EDM scene. He doesn’t need guerrilla marketing at all. He was huge during the trap era of 2012-16 also.

The story is just made up, it's so obviously a joke that the guy thought was funny, and it was tbf but it's not real at all

Am I the only one to hear squeaky beds?

It was over the moment she told you and she recognized the song without actually hearing it simply from the tempo.

Cbat is literally going to be in the charts the amount of times it has been streamed.

You're gonna see this in porn in a few days as well.

Cbat got dropped at literally every club or festival I went to when it first came out, this song was big in the community when it dropped. You can probably already find a video of this being played at lollapalooza the year it was released.

Oh human music

I still feel you are not real, there is no way in hell you listened to that song and thought, I got it, this is my goto spicy time song for the foreseeable future.

If it’s made up then god, it’s perfectly written. The post not only making it back to her parents but the parents being able to confirm bc he had played the weird song before and they recognized it? The parents sitting in a room while CBAT plays as their faces drop, realizing that it’s all true? The gf realizing her parents know??? Exquisite. Better than the movies themselves.

It definitely doesn't seem real. Like he uses a CD player? Like that is just so absurd. But atleast I have confirmation that all those people saying they found the playlist are just lying for clout

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Yeah I don't believe it at all. The CD cements that for me.

Yep, this feels like an ad.

Dude all jokes aside, I'm stunned at how nice you're being about this and to even share your playlist despite knowing everyone's gonna laugh at your situation is beyond me. Im sure it became truly embarrassing for you and your gf, her family included. And I applaud you for being chill about it online. Wishing the best for you, man.

When opportunity knocks …

Ooh,where was the playlist link?

I mean, it's a shitpost that went viral. Of course he's gonna milk the fuck out of it. I would, too.

I mean, when it's a completely made up situation to gain internet fame it's pretty easy to be chill about it. In a few days we'll see a TIFU from his "ex-girlfriend" or her "sister" about this situation.

I think the biggest problem here is you listened to the same song every time you had sex w the same person for two years… even if this song is good, that’s a little much

And not just with the same person, with previous girlfriends too

Not only that.. unless he was allowing the song to play on repeat over and over, it meant that he was finishing in under 2 minutes and 52 seconds every time (he said he always came to the song).

im sorry man, but before you leave the internet once again, could you PLEASE show us how you thrust to this song, to end the debate once and for all?

Link to a video of him doing it:

I almost don't want to know, the mystery is SO funny to me

I don't think any of us are truly prepared to handle this

Wow, this situation just keeps getting more absurd. You posted this on an account with a real/recognizable name. You thought *that* song was good to play *every* time you had sex. You've posted your socials.. to reddit.

This has to be next level marketing for CBAT

yeah watch CBAT blow up (i mean it already has on tiktok)… tyler needs some credit

hudson mohawke has a new album out.

Im so out of the loop I guess. The hell is cbat?

It's a song from a decade ago by a highly successful and influential artist. It's not like he'd try to use reddit's creative writing sub to advertise it now lol. Especially with such a shitty association.

Here is the first post if you want to know the background:

You've made such an impact on the internet. Sure, you lost your relationship, but you're now a meme.

I just listened to the song.... oh my God lmfao. What a weird and creepy melody is now stuck in my head. I can't imagine hearing the same song literally everything having sex for years... let alone to the sound of some squeaky dog toys XD

This is marketing of some kind because there’s just no way 💀

This was kind of our fault wasn’t it

In our defense he used real names and no throwaway account

We did it, reddit 😔

I didn't make the guy fuck to CBAT for 2 years, that was his.... Interesting.... Choice.

But hey at least we had some laughs

Nah if it's anyone's fault, assuming we aren't blaming the OP, it's tiktoks fault, that app has been running with this since the post came out. I have seen countless amounts of videos making fun of this song now

No, it isn't. His issue was he didn't make it an anonymous post.

if you think reddit was bad tiktok roasted the absolute fuck outta the guy

Nah, OP is missing some serious introspection in the original post, and kinda in this one too.

my man showed the parents the song, too?

Wanted to see if he had a shot with mom and/or dad.

Gotta respect his dedication at least...

What is CBAT? I’m so lost.

“Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song”

Should’ve noted how essential it was that there wasn’t a hyphen between “fucking” and “song”

do you jack off to the song though?

Oh my god that's the real question here! Make an AMA please..?

he can't. his hand will reject it even without the music, as it will recognize the rhythm.

i think the biggest takeaway from this situation is that sex playlists are rarely a good idea, especially when the songs are objectively not sexy. moving forward, dont look to outside sources to help you get 'better' at sex, just ask the person who you are having sex with what they like and go from there.

OP, i’m so sorry this is happening but this is truly hilarious 💀 the fact that you’re still defending the song AND the fact that you’re gonna post your playlist makes this so funny

Count this as a win! Not only did you get someone to have sex to one of the worst songs ever produced, they carried on for 2 whole years.

Yeah I mean she must have REALLY loved this guy, clearly he knows things we don't

Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking your daughter song.

I was thinking everyone has different tastes in music, shame the girlfriend did not like it but that is just how it goes. Then I went to the other post and followed the link to the song and….OP you are a monster making her endure that!

Having just listened to the song, if you say you move to the rhythm of the tune, then you should prepare yourself for the possibility that everyone you've been with actually thinks you're not good in bed. There's no consistent rhythm or beat in that song that translates into a good pattern for building pleasure in your partner. It's chaotic.

I mean. It's an absurd, awful song but it's a pretty consistent slow 4 count under the ridiculous robot dolphin noises.

The father is right it is a crap song. This may be 5D Chess level astroturfing.

At this point I don't even care if the post was fiction.

"I don’t think the song is that bad"

The song may not be that bad, but it's honestly the worst possible song for sex

sad dolphin noises

What the fak is CBAT?

https://youtu.be/KAwyWkksXuo

PLEASE look at his previous tifu post and listen to the song

The full playlist is on his instagram, linked in his reddit profile.

This entire thing is a comedic masterpiece

I read the original post from a few days ago but right now I had to google CBAT because I had fucking no idea who or what CBAT is. Only to find it in top results from the last few days on news sites and a video uploaded to youtube 6 days ago that now has 64K views.

Lol I promise you, this was the best thing that could have happened in your relationship. Next time, don't do this.

I still don't believe this story is legit (both) but instead is a well planned and thought out shitpost lol

God what I wouldn't give for an ama from your ex

You’re just fucking promoting your tiktok on Reddit? Are you making money with it at least? This is fucking shameless

You made everyone realize what Hank Hill meant when he said, "Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds."

At least you didn't go goblin mode on her after you stopped with CBAT, OP

oh my god

Your post was the funniest thing I had ever seen on Reddit. I downloaded the song and now when I put it on I break down in laughter. It’s a tremendous mental health resource in my life.

Well OP, now you have no reason not to drop your playlist

The real FU is your partner going two years without saying anything about it. A healthy sex life needs healthy communication.

She was 18, he 23… Might have been her being inexperienced

Yep let's be real the post going viral only sped up the natural end of this relationship.

He is probably her first partner looking at the age difference.

Well maybe your next girl will like the sounds of dying robot dolphins.

I looked up the song expecting it to be emo screamo or something similarity intense cause I hadn’t heard of it before. The song would definitely be a weird one to fuck to but it was the song to one of my favorite scenes from workaholics so thanks for reminding me of that.

Jokes aside, you seem like a genuinely chill guy. The fact that she stayed with you despite the sex song ever says a lot about you, Im sorry all this attention ended the relationship. And even then, you still shared the playlist despite all the jokes that are inevitably gonna be made about you. I hope you find the guy or girl who'll vibe to your electric dolphins with you during sexy times, god speed you magnificent bastard!

Top tier shitpost

why did her sister show her parents omfg😭😭😭

OK I swear down that song had like 40k views last time I checked.

you blew up on Twitter too lol

“Hey what’s your taste in music like”

Wtf is a CBAT?

Wait what the fuck? How did I click your profile the EXACT MOMENT you post an update?

It's really simple. Listen to music you like on your own time or during car rides.

I've got weird taste in music too, but there's music for solo enjoyment and music for fucking. Best to learn the difference.

Same lol, I was like he had to have said something by now this has gone beyond even reddit viral

I’m shocked and amazed by the lack of skepticism in these comments.

Willful suspension of disbelief isn’t a terrible thing when you find comedy gold on the internet tho. Life is absurd, and that’s okay. Seriously, this is almost, not quite, but may be near a Kids in the Hall level comedy sketch worthy bit.

tyler i’m single and i love CBAT.

Did I walk into a support group of some kind?

Tyler stay away homie

*Steeples fingers and stares into the distance "I don't think the song is that bad"

Lmao I was like wtf is cbat and had to go digging through this whole thing. How? Just how? It sounds like something from Animal Crossing.

Well Tyler, look at the bright side. Maybe you will now find a girlfriend who actually likes this song and will let you fuck her too it!

If it makes you feel any better OP, posting about your FU didn't tank your relationship, your complete lack of awareness did that a long time ago and this was just the catalyst. Better now than having her realize nothing's going to change when you're married with kids.

What is CBAT? Sorry I'm older-ish

What did you learn from all of this? What will you do differently moving forward?

This is a certified Reddit moment

If one song did this I don’t think I’m ready for the playlist

That song reminds me of someone doing soundscapes. I remember hearing a similar sound when Ross imitates a dinosaur on Friends.

Holy shit your taste in music absolute garbage if you thought this was a good song. Lmao. You deserve to be dumped.

You disgust me but I’ll be goddamned if you’re not a hero. Grade A work, you glorious weird mf. You will find someone else riding your same goofy vibe & live happily together, I’m sure of it. Good luck lol

Wtf is cbat lol

10/10 shitposting.

I'm convinced this is meant to be comedic

LMAO but sorry man

Okay but like HOW did you thrust to the song? Was it the beat or the melody? 😭

Its all over tiktok you have no idea

But now you made a whole new trend on tiktok, if that makes you feel better.

Not all can handle CBAT

I read your first post and a whole bunch of comments…your update is hilariously embarrassing (I’m sorry) and I popped over to TikTok just to see…my dude! This might be the worst thing to happen to your relationship, but it might just be the best thing to happen for your life. Keep doing what you do, bud

Honestly I was just waiting for this sort of update because the story was pretty much unavoidable from the very first minute it was posted here. No way anyone remotely connected didn’t see this and immediately know what was going on!