1. I never had the expectation that my past girlfriends or wife would try to look cute at bedtime. Like we are here to sleep. My wife could seduce me wearing a nightgown for all I care if she was in the mood.

  2. Right, like don't get me wrong I love me some BUTTS but the only time "is it cute" matters is if they're... trying to be cute. Cuteness at any other time is a coincidence.

  3. Pft. He says that's not cute just tell him. Good thing they aren't yours. He says it's like if he wore panties to bed? Say you bet he'd look cute in them too but he has to buy his own.

  4. This is exactly what I would say. Jesus, I'd be so irate at the implication that I have to be acceptably fuckable at every moment, including when I'm sleeping in my own bed. I'd probably also add something saucy about how I didn't realize we were living a life where we point to each other out all the "uncute" things we do, but I'll make sure to contribute my opinion from here on out, in that case... starting with the judgement of my fuckin sleepwear. Not cute at all. Then I'd buy a bunch more pairs because I wouldn't want to fuck this guy, anyways.

  5. I'm also thinking that if he wants panties, let him wear the panties. Or manties. Or whatever they're called.

  6. And my husband, in contrast, gets giddy when they come out with new designs and colors and makes me pick new colors so far 3 times. He loves buying me underwear that is comfortable. Not sold on the boxers yet cause it's simply not my style but they are cozy indeed. The bras though, omg, they're the bees knees.

  7. My work pants are twill and my inner thighs get super sweaty in them and I was getting essentially diaper rash from it staying sweaty all day since the twill did nothing to help the sweat and regular undies just irritated the area even more. So I bought some Hanes boxer briefs for women. They are just long enough to cover my inner thigh and help control some of the moisture. Not perfect but idk what else to do. I've tried antiperspirant but it doesn't help and I haven't figured out how to get something like baby powder there without looking like Ross in the episode with the leather pants. I would love to try something even longer, like woxers, but I just can't justify the price considering my vag ruins the crotch of all my undies.

  8. Next time he goes to bed in shorts, tell him they’re not cute. If he’s going out doing sport, tell him his joggers aren’t cute. Whenever he’s wearing something for comfort, tell him it’s not cute. May then he’ll realise how absolutely ridiculous these comments sound

  9. I got tired of men telling me how they wanted me to dress in public; I could not handle one telling me how to sleep. Your existing doesn't revolve around him, sorry he can't see that.

  10. This is the one that I would choose if I were in OP’s situation. As a man, I think it’s best to be blunt with us when we are stupid

  11. My girl wears my own boxers. They look like regular shorts on her that she can step out with them. She says shes out of her own underwear or just feels like wearing mine

  12. The experience varies greatly based on the people you're surrounded by. My three LTRs and the couple of guys I've been with more casually haven't given a fuck about my clothes. Honestly, a guy caring what I wore in my own home to the extent some of these men apparently do would be such an immediate deal breaker I wouldn't have time to get tired by it.

  13. It really can be. My AFAB child (now 18) identifies as non-binary, and as soon as they told me, I thought, "Yeah being defined as a girl/woman largely sucks, I feel you."

  14. This is 1950’s level thinking where the woman was supposed to get up at 4:30 to curl her hair and do her makeup, then go back to bed so they can wake up looking “presentable.”

  15. I always wonder who wears silky lace sexy pajamas to sleep, because (to me) it's uncomfortable, cold and overall the worst thing to wear to bed. Guess I found my answer here 😦

  16. I also want to add my husband wears (men's) bikini type of underwear to bed and thinks they are the most comfortable thing for bed. Honestly his ass looks fine as hell in them anyway, not that thats the point. During the day he wear briefs.

  17. Dated a guy who complained I owned flannel pajama pants and kept saying I took them from an ex and that they were "for men." Whined that they were "unflattering." I told him his hairline was unflattering.

  18. I love my flannel mens pj pants! They're cozy, they have little darth vaders on them, and they have pockets! Audrey Hepburn wore men's pajamas in Roman Holiday so that makes it sexy obviously.

  19. My partner actually wears her ex's flannel boxers to sleep. Guess what? It's fine. She's comfortable in them. It's not like she's pining for the dude, she broke up with him and she wakes up next to me every morning so why have a complex about it? And who cares if they're unflattering? They're comfy, and frankly, a beautiful person in unflattering clothes is still beautiful. The whole thing just reeks of insecurity and unequal expectations in the partnership.

  20. News to me, my mom regularly buys everyone in the family flannel Old Navy pj pants for Christmas and they definitely have them in both the men's and women's section. She checks both sections and buys patterns we'll like, none of us care if they're "men's" or "women's" because they're fucking pajama pants and all we care about is if they're comfy and we like the colors.

  21. I don't get these men. I have several pairs of men's pj pants (pockets big enough for my phone amiright ladies) and men's tshirts and that's basically my rotating pj lineup (sometimes a sweater because I'm basically a reptile) and my husband couldn't care less. He's almost always ready to bang me no matter what I wear. I'm pretty sure he prefers the men's clothing because its looser and gives easier access 😂

  22. That's what I hate the most, when they say you should wear this or that. Tf are they wearing to look good? Nothing.

  23. Seriously, my mouth is agape. Who the fuck decides “Right before we fall asleep is the perfect time to shit on my wife for the audacity of being comfortable,”?!

  24. This one right here. It's a privilege to be in bed with you and your adorable boxer undies. Fuck his negging!! If he's so concerned about cute, HE can wear the lingerie

  25. In my 20s, I bought a pair of men’s boxers that felt like they were made of the same type of cloth as button-down shirts, and wore them as regular shorts. They were black, with magenta polka dots about the size of fifty cent pieces, very cute, fly opening had two buttons on it, and I would wear a lime green sleeveless shirt with it, not tucked in, so the fly was covered. I’d usually wear black tights and black monk strap shoes (‘twas the 90s), to complete the look, and I was stylin’!

  26. I actually buy men's ones with the fun designs (I pick the ones without an opening in the front) I am size S-M in Japan, and I just don't care, if they fit, they fit. I also have lady ones, but all of them are black.

  27. Heh. My then new husband told me my wool bed socks weren’t sexy. I silently removed them, then put my icy feet on his thighs. He shot out of bed and brought my socks back. They can be taught. I’d tell your boy you don’t wear them for him.

  28. Yup, to me the panties comment is the bigger red flag. Because I could see myself impulsively blurting out "oh I do/don't like that" to someone I'm really close with when they debut a new clothing item. But for them to double down that the reason they don't like it is BECAUSE its reminiscent of what they wear themselves and that's somehow unacceptable because the gender variances between you two must be actively maintained.....yikes

  29. Shocked I had to scroll this far for this. It’s not about whether they’re flattering or not, it’s about the fact that they look like MEN’S underwear. He literally said it. I don’t think he’d mind if they were clearly women’s short shorts. Then they’d probably be “cute”. It’s a surprising comparison as women wearing mens clothing is a lot more normalized than the other way around, but he’s clearly not comfortable with either. He clearly implies there’s something wrong with wearing the “wrong” type of underwear and it made him uncomfortable enough to insult his partner. I’m just not seeing any way this isn’t a reflection of some very strong judgements about gender and presentation. And it’s telling when they throw those judgements out there assuming everyone shares them.

  30. But when you are asleep your eyes are closed and you are under the blankets. What you look like is completely irrelevant. Because no one is looking at you.

  31. Obviously there shouldn't even be an expectation of you having to look cute for him, especially not in comfy sleep-wear. But it also doesn't make sense. Fitted boxers for women basically have the same shape like those super short yoga-pants-shorts / hot-pants / shorter bike shorts. I have yet to meet a man (or person in general)* that doesn't like how revealing they are on women's buts. How hung up can he be on his mental categorization of gendered clothing that he cannot appreciate that aspect.

  32. "Is this how you want to start the morning? By being the first unsolicited arbiter of what is and isn't attractive on women."

  33. So when I first started dating my fiancé he said he didn’t like boxers on women, which I said sucked because I loved wearing them. Now I wear his everyday 😂 Didn’t change our sex life at all.

  34. His attitude toward you wearing what you like isn't cute, you weren't put here to please him. You were going to bed, tell him to shut his eyes and not look if it's so bloody offensive!

  35. True story, while on a vacation, I had to wear my boyfriend's boxers because I stupidly did not pack enough undergarments. My boyfriend called them long John's and giggles anytime I wear boxers (that I now own because they are so comfy).

  36. I think this is one of those cases where it's worth it to spell it out for him. "When you criticize my clothing, it makes me self conscious and kind of sad. I wish you wouldn't, especially when it's something I'll only wear in front of you where I should feel comfortable."

  37. Don't say anything, just come to bed the next night with your new strap on underneath your (cute AF) boxers. Then, after he inevitably gets all upset and pouty and rolls over to go to sleep, spoon him and poke him with it. Repeatedly.

  38. My wife used to steal my boxer briefs to have something comfy to wear under her workout clothes and I convinced her they'd be even more comfortable if she'd buy them in her own size (only half because she was using up all my clean undies), which she did. They're her favorite underwear now and great for wearing to bed, as long as they aren't the same pair from the gym...

  39. Lean in to his what-abouts. "It's like if I wore panties to bed"... "oh, you would look cute af! Can I help pick out a pair? A little lace and bow here and here would look so good. They'd be soo cuuuuuuute."

  40. Bro's priorities are weird. My gf wears the rattiest, old, worn out stuff to bed. Never once have I considered complaining about it. It's not a fashion show, you need to be comfortable so you can get good sleep.

  41. Had this happen to me too, and honestly not sure why a pair of short can't be cute because they are similar to a product intended for men, but like normal denim shorts are like that too

  42. Buy him a lace thong. A sexy black lace thong. Let him wear it to bed for you. Let him feel the pain of it up his asshole and the scratchy material irritate his skin… tell him how sexy he looks, and how you want this always.

  43. In all of my relationships (I’m 59) I have never once given 1 second’s thought about what my gf/wife wore to bed. I don’t think I’ve ever noticed, except asking if she wouldn’t like to wear MORE to keep from being cold.

  44. It might be a little harsh of me, but i kind of feel like he's a little insecure. It's either that or ingrained (or is it internalized?) misogyny. Shit, I love it when my girlfriend wears boxer briefs to bed. Of course, she's stealing them from me, as well as my t-shirts, my hoodies, my jackets, my...wait a minute, she's stealing my shit!

  45. I love wearing boy shorts to bed. I’m a committed pajama set wearer but in summer, love me some boy shorts and a tank

  46. This sounds so manipulative. Imagine thinking your partner has to be to your exact version of eye candy at ANY TIME (yuck!!!) let alone when you are GOING TO SLEEP. My girlfriend is lucky if I (f) wear underwear that aren’t literally years old lmao, girl do you and also girl boxers are so cute!!!! Don’t listen to that hater lol

  47. Not everything is about him and you are not there to be his eye candy. You're entitled to feel comfortable in your own home without always being a performance piece for his dumb ass. Tell him that if he expects you to be eye candy 24/7, he needs to pull his own weight and be your eye candy, too.

  48. On the serious side, you need to have a discussion with him about what he feels you are obliged to change/be/do for the sake of his tastes, especially when you're under the covers or you're both asleep and he can't even see you. I have issues with any partner who thinks you are obliged to look a certain way for their pleasure because, one day, you're both going to be wearing old-people clothes and being saggy and wrinkled. People who have those expectations are much more likely to exert continued pressure on you to maintain some particular appearance throughout your life to please them. That's not something I would sign up for.

  49. "One, I didn't ask you. Two, I like them. Three, feel.free to wear panties, because I wouldn't judge you for what you feel comfortable wearing to bed. Four...I DIDNT ASK YOU".

  50. I think the dopest thing you could do is go "night out" mode on his ass, go from a 10/10 to a 12/10 and then get in bed and be like "good night" and if he tries some shit with you, just tell him you don't feel "sexy" tonight.

  51. I wear my boyfriend’s boxers to bed and I am 46. He is 33. Never have I cared or has he expressed issue with anything I wear to bed or otherwise… except twice. One time I was picking out a coat to wear at night to walk the dogs. He said it made me look like I had money and I shouldn’t wear it outside on my own at night. The other time was when I put on a shawl when I was cold. He joked and called me grandma.

  52. I had to have surgery a few months back for removal of a foreign body in my throat. Long story short, please for the love of god, throw away your metal bristle grill brush- I know you have one. Anyway, I’m 24 so never had any sort of serious surgery before. My mom had Covid, so my bf of 4 years handled me throughout the whole process. The “surgical panties” they had me put on before anesthesia were the most comfortable panties I have ever worn in my life. Of course, I wore them home. Then I proceeded to wear them for the next 4 days due to their superiority regarding comfort. (I just had surgery, I was laying in bed for 4 days. It’s not gross.) they were sorta like a gauze/cotton blend boyshorts I guess? My bf knew how much I loved them bc on top of wearing them constantly, he saw me searching for them on our Amazon. He saw I didn’t order any, and knew it was because I couldn’t find the “right ones”. He literally went to the hospital & ended up coming home with like 20 pairs of these weird gauze-y boyshorts for me. He is far from being sentimental, empathetic, and he’s also fairly unthoughtful. But if it’s one thing he knows about me, it’s that I want to be comfy when I’m in the comfort of our home. If he doesn’t want to have sex with me while I wear them, luckily they’re not permanent. It’s so pointless to put effort into making your s/o sad… like, just put effort in to make them happy. Just buy your girl the surgical panties

  53. I love being 40+ and single. I do what I want when I want, and with who I want. And the second they pull shit like this (thinking their opinion is more important than my comfort) they can GTFO. My dog doesn’t care what I sleep in.

  54. That sucks that you cant feel comfortable in your own bed. You could tell him to pound sand but I think theres something more.

  55. You don’t dress for him. In this moment he’s an ass. I have woxers as well and I love them, they’re so much more comfortable. He needs to sit down and hold his tongue when a situation doesn’t call or even ask for his opinion.

  56. Whatever you feel comfortable wearing doesn’t have to be “cute.” But for the record, that’s a super childish thing for a man that age to say. Hilarious that they think we do everything with what they find cute in mind. I’d have told him to fuck off and would probably be reconsidering keeping him around, but I’m an introvert and enjoy being alone. If someone doesn’t make me happy and respect me, they can go.

  57. Boyfriend is... immature? If you live together it makes no sense that you would be dressed up every night as if you were going to ... you know...

  58. For him to say that is rude as Hell. It's up to you what to wear. I can understand the s/o not being as excited about one clothing style over another but he should keep that to himself and certainly not say such a douche asshole comment like that. Btw I wear plaid boxers full time because I don't want anything going up my hemorrhoids all day long.

  59. I used to steal my now husband’s boxers to wear to bed. Sleeping is about being comfortable enough to get rest. I’m sorry, but screw his sartorial preferences. Dude needs to grow up.

  60. Not that you need to be attractive to go to sleep, but like my partner likes to wear soft short shorts to sleep in, which are really close to women’s boxers and damn it’s hot.

  61. My sleeping attire in winter is flannel pajama pants, holey sweatshirts that I literally inherited from my (much larger) grandma, the same cotton Hanes panties I wear all year, and a sleep mask that pushes my hair up in 50 directions.

  62. Tell him he better mind his manners coz there's definitely another dude out there who will think they're cute, I also liked to remind idiots I was dating back in the day that there are 4 billion men on the planet and they're too easily replaceable to be saying stupid shit like this

  63. It’s like he’s being homophobic and sexist. Shorts are for everyone. Boxers are for everyone. Any adult can wear panties as well tbh too. He doesn’t get to dictate what you wear.

  64. "I want you to be comfortable above all else, and would never comment on your choice of clothes as if my liking them was more important than your being comfortable."

  65. i wear the stretchy boxer briefs every day! no wedgies, no panty lines. they're the best & comfy. ask BF to wear some of your other ones and see if he likes them. you'll have to go buy a pair in his size, of course!

  66. He probably thinks ot's too much effort to take them off of you. If you wear smaller panties, they're easier/faster to remove, or even just leave on and push the crotch out of the way!

  67. I would tell him to fuck offfff and get a grip on himself because you can literally wear whatever you want. You don't need to look cute or any way for that matter going to bed ...

  68. At this point I feel like the crazy one here. As a woman, I would fly off the handle if my partner made a comment like this to me. I've never dated a man with the audacity, but more than that I've never dated a man that would have the desire to say something rude to my face like that outside of an argument. It's just seems like a manipulative thing to say to someone you're in a relationship with, instead of having an actual conversation about why your sleep shorts bother him. He put you down.

  69. The fiance steels my boxers for bed time just about every night. I'm happy to share and I gotta add she rocks them better than I ever could

  70. I tried on my husband's boxer briefs for the first time just for fun the other day and I'm like, " Hold up, these are comfy as hell." and he's like "I know, right?"

  71. Why do men think we’re always dressing for them? I wear mens boxer briefs to bed because the cut fits my muscular thighs better. I’ve never had a guy dress sexy for me lol and I’ve never expected them to.

  72. I would have snipped back “well sweetheart, I wasn’t put on this earth to be ‘cute’ to please you.” Then I would have offered to leave since I was so unsightly.

  73. Whenever someone comments on some aspect of my appearance when nobody asked them and I don’t think they understand how little I care, I say, “So don’t fuck me.”

  74. “What’s not cute is your sense of entitlement to what I wear. What’s also not cute is that you think what you want for me is more important than what I want for me. And the fact that you think I need to look cute for you while I’m unconscious but I can’t be comfortable. I don’t tell you what to wear, don’t do it to me.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

News Reporter