1. The answer is, these people WANT you to have an accident you have to bring to term. They want babies. They don't care what you want. I'm married, don't want kids, and my "drank the cool-aid" conservative religious mother tells me all the time how she'd love if one just "slipped through." Despite the fact that I've made it clear that I 100% DO NOT want kids. But it doesn't matter what I want. Don't you know? Everyone is suppose to have babies. That's the social norm that needs to be enforced.

  2. My mother is a boomer and while I know she loves me, I also think that had she been told as a young woman that she didn't have to have kids that she never would have done it. I truly don't believe she ever wanted to be a mom or a parent and to take care of anyone else. But, she begged me for years to have kids - I'm convinced many people were miserable with kids and they think everyone should have to suffer through it as well. That's why they get pissy when we politely decline their suggestion.

  3. The rich need their wage slaves, the poorer and more mental damaged the better. They need people that will struggle their entire life, as those are the people they can pay shitty for their entire life.

  4. The childfree subreddit has a list of doctors willing to sterilize and ACA compliant insurance should cover it.

  5. Our social norms are build on millennia old values shaped by high death rates, famines, disease, and most importantly male property ownership passed down through male heirs thereby requiring certainty of parentage. We are fighting thousands of years of patriarchal social design bent on using women's chastity as assent certification and high yield savings for the gene pool in hard times.

  6. I’ve had extended family members tell me just to have a baby even though I said I don’t want one. My ex’s mom used to tell me she would just take care of it and I could take care of my baby when I wanted and hand it over to her when I didn’t feel like being a mother. She didn’t say those exact words, but that she meant. It made me realize a lot of women in the past generation probably did do that and that’s why we all have mommy issues

  7. Yep exactly. The number of people that have wished for an unwanted pregnancy for me is unreal. I’ve always been childfree and had my tubes removed. That means for years and years people have been telling me they hope that my life is ruined. It’s hard to look at them as anything other than horrible people after those comments. They say things like they know I would step up and be a good mom, I always push back. The reality is that I would not do that and I know it. The reason I appear to have comfort and happiness is because I have my freedoms. The lifestyle of a parent would be the antithesis of my pursuit for happiness. Therefore, I can only surmise that the people wishing a baby on me must hate me and are praying for me to be miserable.

  8. Bigger than that, they want you out of the university, out of the workplace, out of the statehouse, and out of sight. They want you on unstable footing and unable to plan and execute goals. They want us quiet and irrelevant. That’s the real goal.

  9. I just watched a heartbreaking tiktok of a young woman with a genetic heart defect and the only drug that she could tolerate, that she relies on to live, has the side effect of spontaneous abortion so her doctor refused to prescribe it. JFC this is so much bigger and worse around every corner.

  10. A nurse was fired recently for saying she’s going to refuse to prescribe Viagra for her conservative male patients, yet, it’s literally okay for doctors to refuse to prescribe life-saving medication to women because abortion is a potential side effect. It literally makes me so disgusted.

  11. One of my friends has a rheumatoid inflammatory issue, and she's worried about the same thing. These drugs aren't only used for abortions.

  12. I was refused sterilization at 25 because I was too young and would change my mind. I assured them I never wanted children. Still a no.

  13. I remember my Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo went up from $30 to $60 a month in 2012. I just wanted to get sterilized, since birth control seemed to cause worse depression and I get migraine with aura. And I knew I was CF anyway. Ofc I was refused sterilization at 21, they tried Paraguard, it wouldn't go in, so they switched me to a cheaper birth control which gave me interstitial cystitis and an cascade of pain, pelvic floor dysfunction, and trauma followed from there. 10 years later I'm still in pain almost every waking moment. On the bright side, I did find someone to sterilize me at 24.

  14. I’m trying to get fixed rn, it makes me so fucking mad cause I can’t take any birth control that doesn’t make me act like a psycho or get really fat. (I gained 60lbs on the arm implant) I also can’t use IUD because it’s extremely, extremely painful to insert. I’ve fainted every time we tried and had to cut it short. I have really bad endo. Like wtf else am I supposed to do??

  15. Yep I couldn’t get a tubal until I was 37. Sometimes I think I only got that one because my boyfriend was friends with the surgeon.

  16. What's the worst thing that could happen? They do the procedure and someday, you regret it. So what? You're an adult and can navigate those feelings. Isn't that better than having a whole human that you are responsible for that you regret??????????

  17. I've never understood the "too young, you'll change your mind" argument. So what if you do, you'll have to deal with the consequences of your choice just like any other choices you made in life. The same people are always so fond of say adoption is an option, that's true if you underwent sterilization too. Why can't women just be allowed to make their own damn decisions in life.

  18. Like either allow voluntarily sterilization or abortion (both is ideal and, in my opinion, the right way to go) but seriously how can you possibly deny both?

  19. Ughhhh hate to see this and can completely relate. Had stroke like symptoms from the pill. The implanon made it so I had digestion pain for 2.5 years and was in and out of the hospital. I’ve been better for about 4 years but it took 14 years of asking and two major health issues from birth control to get a doctor to remove my tubes. They kept moving the goal post. First, I had to be 18. Then, I had to be 21. Then, I had to be 25. Then, 32. Then, 32 with two kids. Everyone was so worried I might change my mind down the road. So fucking annoying. I finally found a doctor that was HORRIFIED by this medical history and took my tubes out two weeks after meeting her. I’ve been so much healthier mentally since having them out, just knowing I can never get pregnant is the only thing saving me personally during this RvW chaos.

  20. I’m gonna scream this out at the next moment in my life when I hear the “if they just close their legs and they won’t get pregnant” or “just practice safe sex”.

  21. Funny, but not a great comparison imo. If a car accident occurs, the people responsible are supposed to pay. You wouldn't say "well, i consented to driving a car iradically but I didnt consent to smashing into your car". People responsible, whether they indented to cause a consequence or not, should pay for that consequence. In terms of babies that generally means both parents taking care of the child (before, during, after birth) if they decided to do an action (sex) that has an chance of producing a kid. That wont cover all bases but its a general statement, accidents still hold people responsible.

  22. these are the same people that push for abstinence based sex education and are shocked when they yield high teenage pregnancy rates. my high school sex ed didn’t mention anything about consent or contraception even once. not to mention they want to ban birth control too…at the end of the day it’s about controlling who is having sex and when

  23. It's interesting how the 'facts don't care about your feelings' crowd are always always showing themselves to really be entirely about feelings. They feel that teaching abstinence should prevent sex and pregnancy more than sex ed. They're 100% wrong and have been shown to be for some time, but they won't even hear it. Their feelings are all that matters.

  24. Don't forget those places all have the highest divorce rates too. The states and areas that are most accepting of LGBTQ+, sex education and abortions actually have the lowest abortion and divorce rates.

  25. If you rate the success rate of abstinence the same way you do other actual forms of contraception abstinence does not have a 100% success rate. All other contraceptions state their perfect practice success rate and their imperfect practice success rate. You could practice abstinence only and experience SA, you could have a lapse of will, you could start but not finish a sexual encounter, etc. It’s the same with condoms. Part of the condom imperfect practice includes all the times you just don’t use a condom or only use a condom for a portion of intercourse. Abstinence does not have a 100% imperfect practice rate. It doesn’t even have a 100% perfect practice rate if we include SA—WHICH WE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD!

  26. My abstinence only education told me I’d be dead by graduation because I’d been SA’d as a young girl, all premarital fooling around was an instant HIV infection and it had a 10 year maximum life expectancy at the time. I nearly dropped out of high school because if I’m going to die soon, why should I bother with quizzes and rote memorization?

  27. The result of sex-ed in Texas : when I was 15 my mother flat out told me that condoms do not work, and birth control is 50/50, so even safe sex isn’t actually safe. Both of us raised in Texas.

  28. I just had that argument with someone last night. Comprehensive sex education reduces abortion. However, the argument was that kids already know about sex and sex is often spontaneous so how does teaching about sex help? Nothing I said, would go through.

  29. This post unfortunately reminds me of Sarah Palin and her daughter. Palin is a big supporter of abstinence and her teenage daughter had two kids out of the wedlock.

  30. Right?? I have 2 boys… should I stock up on condoms now just in case?? Or will this be state by state?? Of course, condoms are only good for so long… JFC…

  31. Maybe if we quit calling it "sex" education and start pushing for more detailed anatomy classes some of these people might at least get to learn how bodies work.

  32. Yes. And not just casual sex either. I’m happily married like OP and we’re child free. I have an IUD but we’re gonna have to add condoms and spermicide on top of that because I’m at high risk of ectopic pregnancy. I feel fortunate to have the knowledge and and access but so so many don’t.

  33. I'll never have sex with a man again, and I'll kill any man that tries to force himself on me or anyone else. And I'm not the only one.

  34. Or we could rebel and become like the Moche Indians, who indulged exclusively in anal sex to avoid pregnancy. I'm sure the religious freaks will love that!

  35. When I was 13 I had sex with my ex and the condom slipped of him as we had gotten the wrong size unknowingly. It's fucking easy to fuck up BC and C. I could walk into the next pharmacy, had to sit down with the head doc for 15min and got the pill. So easy but already very scary for me.

  36. This is why my daughter and I will be offering to take the 16 yr old grandgirl to get the pill. She has her first "serious" boyfriend and she is now riding the bus or riding her bike to work. I have a pretty close relationship with grandgirl so she might want Gran to take her instead of mom if who is occupied with taking care of her sick mom, the goblin princess(8 yr old grandgirl) and a new job. Should I offer to get her some condoms too?

  37. People that make this argument are basically saying that promiscuity should be punished by unintended pregnancies, and all the complications that follow.

  38. A child should never be a punishment, what a way to come into the world! “I didn’t want you and was forced to have you and now I have to suffer, which means you will suffer too”. What an awesome start to life.

  39. That argument can go eff itself. What about rapists?? Are they gonna practice safe sex?? How considerate of them.

  40. My aunt is ultra shame-y and likes to say things about women not using birth control when she sees someone of a different class or is a very young age with a child. I have pointed out to her MANY times, that they are obviously using birth control because women who didn't use birth control and were sexually active just a few generations ago would have 7 or more kids by 25 (I've also mentioned that teen pregnancies are usually caused by significantly older adult males-She still places the blame on the girl).

  41. A woman representative in Utah thinks a woman can control a man's cum from entering their body during sex. There is no logic. Centuries of propaganda blaming women for everything has come to this dumb logic.

  42. It's so strange to me how we are a society in the West have forgotten how fertility really is for fertile women. If a woman is in her late 40s and has only had 2 or 3 children throughout the entirety of her childbearing years, she more likely than not faithfully used birth control methods for 30 plus years.

  43. It’s really fucked up that women get blamed and shamed for this. MEN Are the ones cumming in them without discussing or wanting condoms or birth control and still end up with NO SHAME and practically no accountability

  44. Even if the woman isn't on BC, I also do not agree with pressuring women into BC either. As if it's all on us to make sure the sex is safe. We need to work on realizing it is okay if a woman does NOT want to take it too. There are other protective means. Women shouldn't be shamed for not being on it. But what gets me the most, is how no one ever talks about the guy involved.

  45. I have rheumatoid arthritis. Many who suffer from this or other auto immune diseases take a medication called methotrexate. This medication not only alleviates many problems with some autoimmune diseases, but can also be used as an abortion inducing drug. With the current turn in roe pharmacies are already not filling prescriptions for these drugs.

  46. Many people do not know that if you are on the pill then get diarrhea or throw up, you need to add additional protection of some kind for that month. May not apply in your situation but people need to know this.

  47. The month? I thought that diarrhea messes up the protection for that day if it was within 4 (or 6?) hours of taking the birth control pill.

  48. Adding to the insult is the fact that the abortion-banners tend to also oppose teaching comprehensive sex-ed. They're making LESS people know what "safe sex" even is!

  49. I was denied birth control because covid was going on and the hospital deemed my appointment as “non essential.” Seemed pretty fucking essential to me when I was driving to another county two months later to have an abortion.

  50. I'm with you, this was infuriating. I had my son right before everything shut down for the pandemic, and I had to wait six months to get new birth control started because it was "non essential." I'd had a difficult birth and was anemic and sick for a very long time afterwards, you'd think not getting pregnant again that soon would be highly essential to one's health.

  51. Most of the people who have told me this have ended up having fertility issues. They are up on their high horse thinking they are doing everything right and the rest of us are irresponsible whores. Then it turns out they couldn't get pregnant when they tried. Or it took years. And they still think it was just how responsible they were.

  52. I had a Paraguard IUD and got pregnant with it. Thankfully, I was able to terminate right away but I chose one of the most effective forms of birth control and still got pregnant so the safe sex argument is bullshit. Even if I didn’t want to practice safe sex, is it so egregious for a woman to decide whether or not she wants to be a baby incubator, especially when pregnancy comes with its own health complications?

  53. 90% of them are both tbh. Also lots of dumb people who view most forms of birth control as 'abortifacients' regardless of the facts.

  54. It's a very bad argument. Amongst my friends and coworkers over the years I know of quite a few babies or pregnancies that happened because their birth control failed to prevent it. Some include: the condom breaking; Plan B not working; copper IUD not working; birth control pills not working because nobody told them they needed to use a backup method when on antibiotics/after having severe, prolonged vomiting or diarrhea; BCP not working because the doctor switched a forgetful person to a low dose pill that needs to be taken at the same time everyday without discussing that; starting on BCP when already pregnant but the doctor didn't catch it; even a vasectomy that managed to reverse itself. It happens!

  55. I’m a failed vasectomy kid + plan b failed. My parents were done having kids. I knew it the whole time growing up. It impacts the kids knowing that you weren’t wanted.

  56. Right?? Best they offer is always “then don’t have sex it you’re not ready for a child” or “it’s not the baby’s fault”

  57. My friend had a pill baby and then she had an IUD baby. She was doing all the right things and still had two kids. There is no such thing as 100% when it comes to contraception.

  58. I had some numbskull actually suggest that we instead pass a law mandating contraceptives to leave chemical markers to prove contraceptive was tried and only THEN would an abortion be allowed. Y'know just some mild chemical branding from the same doof who was convinced vaccines are government tracking.

  59. My BIL said on Facebook we could just use condoms. I pointed out the failure rate even when using them properly. Funny how he didn't respond to that and just kept saying how bad it was to use hormonal birth control. My husband went off on him and basically said, "how dare you all for telling me I can't have a sexual relationship with my wife".

  60. I had a birth control fail in my early 40s. My IUD displaced & I became pregnant. It can happen to anyone and our society needs to be more open about these stories as the 'just practice safe sex' argument is another way to shame people.

  61. My mother was a co-founder of the Planned Parenthood chapter in the little Alaskan town I grew up in, long before Roe v. Wade. I have 4 siblings, all testament to the failure of birth control.

  62. Disturbing amount of overlap between the people who want there to be consequences for sex and those who want there to be few, if any, for shooting/ running over people they disagree with.

  63. Exactly. If these people really cared about the "pre-born," they would be doing EVERYTHING in their power to stop abortions from even being needed in the first place. But their true colors come out when they reply "why don't women just have self control and close their legs." This shows that their true motives are just about slut-shaming.

  64. And so much of the education about how to use birth control has to be looking for it yourself. I'm aware of how antibiotics affect BC, and am actually only on the pill for other reasons (not sexually active) but my medical chart doesn't state that, it just states that I'm on birth control pills. This is my second round of antibiotics this year, each prescribed by someone other than my PCP (who knows I'm not active) so that's two doctors and two pharmacists and not one has mentioned that the efficacy of my birth control could be diminished. If I were sexually active and didn't know this myself, I could very easily find myself with a surprise pregnancy despite thinking I was "practicing safe sex".

  65. People will swear that antibiotics don't affect birth control pills. Whatever. We have too many women in our lives who got pregnant while taking the pill and an antibiotic.

  66. This is true. Practicing safe sex is super important and it can reduce the risk of pregnancy but it doesn’t eliminate it completely. It can still happen.. now we have to be even more careful when it comes to sex.. honestly I was scared to have it before because of pregnancy, but now that we have this abortion ban going on I’m even more frightened then ever and don’t plan on having sex any time soon unless its with someone I trust COMPLETELY!!

  67. If we needed any more evidence that the anti-choice side doesn’t understand or care about the nuance of the issue, the fact that this is the response of a lot of them should prove that. Absolutely a disgusting argument that anyone with a sense of kindness or empathy should be vehemently opposed to.

  68. I hate when they use that argument because their point is moot when you consider sex within marriage. What about married couples whose contraceptives fail?

  69. I was a kid NOT practicing safe sex when I had my abortion. I would have had my entire life derailed if I had to carry that baby to term. I was in a long term relationship with some I love(d). But we were not good for each other and not at all in a place maturity wise, financially, relationship strength to raise a healthy child. Now.. I have all those things and a child I am confident that I will be able to give the best of myself to. He will get all the best qualities of my partner and myself, raised in love and patience because I was able to make a choice. He won’t go hungry and be raised around fighting because I was able to make a choice. We aren’t living in poverty and stress, because I was able to make a choice.

  70. The argument is nonsense. What about rape? What about those of us whose bodies can't be on contraceptive? My body expels IUDs and I was taken off the combined birth control pill due to my gynecologist telling me I was at too high a risk of stroke with they symptoms I was experiencing, and the progestin only pill was not preventing ovulation. I wasn't able to find a provider willing to let me get my tubes tied with no children. Wound up accidentally pregnant twice with kids I didn't consent to the sex that conceived them, and now I'm so terrified of men I can barely look at them when I walk around. I can't really afford a tubal right now. I was almost assaulted less than a year ago in broad daylight while I was walking around in my neighborhood. You can believe I'm abstinent but I can't prevent my own rape!

  71. My dad literally says “just close your legs” so, yeah. He actually thinks abstinence is the answer. For men too. I told him good luck with that.

  72. I love that. Did your father only have sex a handful of times during his lifetime only when expressedly trying to have a baby? He's otherwise "abstinent?" Please.

  73. Failure rates are a thing. And didn't the opinion also talk about some other precedent that would include contraceptives?

  74. This. Was trying to explain exactly This to my mom, who was happy roe v wade was being overturned. I had to remind her that we had a choice when I was sexually abused by my cousin

  75. Just practice safe sex is the answer given by a group of people who follow a religion based largely in part on a man born to a virgin......

  76. Birth control pills and a condom failed me. I was unemployed due to economic issues and homeless due to being unemployed. I couldn't live with my boyfriend as an option at the time either.

  77. What if you practice safe sex but "the condom just slipped off 🤷‍♀️?" Can't tell you how many times my ex did that to me.

  78. Two weeks ago I found I was pregnant after having a copper IUD for 5 1/2 years, they can’t even find it. We’re keeping it but I had to think on it, you can do everything right and mistakes/miracles happen

  79. Agreed. I've been pregnant six times, and 4 of those times I was using birth control (pregnant twice on Mirena, lost both to miscarriage, twice using condoms, and 2 times we were actively trying to have a baby).

  80. People who say "practice safe sex" also blame women when men stealth the condom, for not making sure he kept it on. 🙄

  81. Sure, let's ban all diabetes medications as well, if you don't want to die from diabetes just eat healthy, duh 🙄

  82. I'd like to see if these people who say abstinence is the key, really would abstain from sex themselves. They are such hypocrities.

  83. Exactly. They don't want you to have safe sex. Conservatives ultimately want you to have no sex or sex for procrastination. Having casual sex with men is harmful to the patriarchy.

  84. They stopped using the term 'safe sex'. It's not 'safer sex' because it's official that it's IMPOSSIBLE to have sex without a margin of error.

  85. Abortion is never the primary method of birth control people use. If anything it’s a fail safe, a backup plan in case contraception doesn’t work.

  86. Oh yeah and “keep your legs closed” like that’s going to help. I just heard a story about someone who said their girl friend got held in gun point and got r*ped.

  87. Sure... that works in a world where contraceptive devices are 100% effective and nobody ever gets raped ever, or has an ectopic pregnancy, or some other medically dangerous pregnancy..

  88. This arguement pisses me off because there are states out there that want to ban birth control. How the fuck are you supposed to have safe sex then?

  89. Why can't they just practice "mind your own damn business ". It would make many things much easier if you didn't have these busy bodies sticking there nose where it really doesn't belong.

  90. Last I checked... based on "hookup culture"... most people are NOT trying to make babies while engaging in intercourse. Since the majority of people having sex are doing so only for enjoyment... including the people who claim that pregnancy is just some sort of punishment for that... it's just a lot of people trying to keep poor brown people poor and/or dead.

  91. I think if Democrats can get back into power, until Republicans are backing Roe V. Wade being a permanent law of the land, we should not undo what they did, here is why...

  92. I don't think this is a well conceived plan. If he rapes you then you force him to provide child support, he's a lot more likely to kill you. Pregnant women are at a high risk of homicide from their partners already, especially WoC. If he provides child support, he has to have custodial rights. I don't want anything to do with my rapist. I'd rather forego the child support.

  93. Red states are notoriously bad at collecting unpaid child support, especially if owed to a child out of state. (Yes, even in divorce cases where there's no question of paterniry.)

  94. YES. I was on the pill while also in a consensual, monogamous, committed relationship, took it religiously, and still ended up pregnant. So I had an abortion. I took the measures and they didn't do shit.

  95. I remember a stat giving that something like 70% of the abortions in France are from people using a contraception method. When you add the abortions for medical reasons from people trying to get a child that doesn't leave much room for improvement. (But obviously those fighting abortions are also against the best know methods to reduce their number: sex ed and wide availability of contraception)

  96. The entire thought train is predicated on there being voluntary sex. That's what the "calculated risk" of sex required for the argument. But there's involuntary sex, too. So "just.." anything wont work.

  97. Yup. Was practicing safe sex with my husband at the time and that’s how I have my now 8 year old. Nothing is 100% guaranteed.

  98. Have two kids, wife and i knew we were done. just had my vasectomy follow up, i shoot blanks. its a risk, and contraception greatly reduces risk but does not eliminate it. I as a 39 year old white guy shouldn't be making the decisions for you.

  99. I agree. There are so many things that can go wrong when having sex and sometimes it's literally just hard to "just practice safe sex" . In my case I just try to get plan B asap if I feel like there is a chance of pregnancy. I have a pack of 3 plan Bs at home that I got from

  100. Lets talk about sex education and it is astounishing how many states dont condone the regular science-based education. It frightens me how many people can graduate but still dont know much about it, or have searched for it themselves.( with all the bad consequences... aka, lets learn from P%!*hub)

  101. If I was born a woman with the chance to biologically get pregnant, I would take the SCOTUS ruling as a "guess I won't have penetrative sex then" because it has all the downsides of STDs, getting pregnant, etc... with very few upsides. Most women can't even climax from it and require some amount of oral or w/e, so why even take the risk?

  102. I got pregnant twice using birth control, one with the pill (I had the flu and threw up a couple days that month) and once using a condom that didn’t even seem to have a problem. It was a shock.

  103. I've taken plan B three times, and none of those times were because of unsafe sex. Unless you count the dudes not knowing how a condom should fit.

  104. My girlfriend and me are scared she took a plan b on the 20th her period was supposed to come on the 25th it’s not the 28th and she still hasn’t had her period where could I get a abortion pill without having to go to Mexico I’m 17 we can’t have a baby right now

  105. I was abstinent until I was 23 but still got raped at 20. Thankfully it was just oral rape so I wasn’t scared about pregnancy but still…

  106. I feel like a lot of those people aren't far from the "just don't have sex" crowd that like to slut-shame people for having sex. How different this place would be if this country ensured all people learned consent from a very young age and received a proper sex education.

  107. My wife and I are due in the next month with our 6th (5th bio for me) child. We ran down the list of safe options, trying just about everything. It all failed. Before meeting me, my wife had my daughter as a result of her now ex tampering with her birth control pills, poking holes in condoms, and assaulting her. My wife made the choice to keep the baby, thus having to deal with years of further abuse for herself even through attempting to flee. Our daughter also had to endure a lot in dealing with weekends at their place. She never wants to see them again. Thankfully, now that person has had some prison time and is halfway across the country.

  108. Yh was having a convo about this with a "friend" and all he kept saying was that women should always take the morning after pill if they don't want to be pregnant and it's still baffling to me that people think like this

  109. it's also super annoying that all of a sudden practicing safe sex matters, yet Texas schools are banning books that flirt with even the slightest bit of intimacy.

  110. Oh for fizzle. I know someone who got pregnant on oral contraceptives when a condom broke; someone who got pregnant with an IUD in; and someone who got pregnant from her husband who had a vasectomy. These are just the handful of people I personally know that I have a comfortable enough relationship to talk about this stuff with, who knows how many other women I know with similar experiences. No contraception is perfect even when you're actively trying to prevent pregnancy. You shouldn't have your choice taken away just because you fall in the 1% failure window.

  111. I got pregnant after a condom mess up and then took plan B. I also got pregnant with the arm implant birth control AND a condom. (I miscarried both times but that’s besides the point) Every pro-lifer I’ve told that to has stumbled through a “well that’s rare” but it’s not entirely that rare. Birth control fails. Condoms fail. Plan B doesn’t always work. Nothing is 100% but choosing abstinence. And that’s all they care about, they preach abstinence unless you’re married and procreating. That’s what it boils down to. They desperately crave a superiority complex and delight in any shaming they can do.

  112. In addition to OP's points, I've always felt like the "just use contraception perfectly" is a bad-faith attempt to pretend real life conforms to their fantasy land. It's like the abstinence only sex (mis)education people saying it's effective because if teenagers never have sex then no one gets pregnant. Somehow sex is one part of human life where these people can barely reason about a world different from their moralistic delusions.

  113. Used a condom but it broke. Took Plan B immediately. Now I wait. He at least reassured me that we’re in a state where I still have rights so we have access to abortion if needed, but I hope I won’t have to.

  114. It is insane. Astounding that men thought we'd be won over by the safe sex argument. First, that they are so sure contraceptives are available and at a price everyone can afford. Secondly, as you say, that they are 100% safe. As if. As if that chance is so minor that it isn't anything to worry about. Whereas, it is enough reason to have no sex with men at all. There are other ways of getting orgasms, after all.

  115. Contraceptions will never be 100% effective. What if you have to take antibiotics in the middle of your cycle and you had sex a few days before? They famously affect hormonal birth control's effectiveness. The plan-B pill is only like 90% effective even if you take it right after. An IUD can move without you noticing, reducing effectiveness, a Nuvaring can break without you knowing, reducing effectiveness. As long as there is no 1000% safe, reversible birth control everyone can take without serious side effects fuck off with that "if you used proper protection" bullshit. If they ever outlaw abortion in my country i'm taking a holiday to the nearest private clinic and returning without my tubes. Fuck this.

  116. I had an abortion because my bc failed. The father didn’t want kids and I have no desire to raise a baby with zero support. Having the option to ensure my family stays small and me and my existing child are able to survive, I don’t give it a second thought. I know it’s the right thing to do. Even if my partner wanted children I know I can’t afford to keep another one. I’m struggling with just one, I can’t imagine what it would be like to have to get an apartment with gasp one more bedroom. It’d be 90% more rent than what I’m paying now.

  117. I have a family member who has had multiple accidents using multiple different kinds of birth control as well as was raped by two guys as a teen while drunk. She has had multiple abortions, and miscarriages and has 5 children. After her third child she asked for a tubal ligation and they took so long scheduling her surgery that she got pregnant again while on birth control, then lost her job and insurance and ended up pregnant again and had planned on an abortion because they could not afford a 5th child....but she was farther along than expected so she had to keep it. She finally was able to get her tubal ligation after child number 5 and they were asking her all the way to the operating room if she was sure she really wanted to do it. If she had carried every pregnancy to term she would have ended up with at least 10 kids as she got pregnant twice before she had her first child, then at least 1 pregnancy in between all 5 of the kids she had. There is no such thing as "safe" sex. Her pregnancies happened while trying multiple different forms of birth control (condoms, spermicides, birth control pills, and combination of all of them).

  118. My mother was told by her doctor that’d she never be able to have kids, but she had two anyway. Kinda ridiculous that even if you follow your doctor’s medical evaluation you can still end up with something you weren’t expecting.

  119. It's never been about "just have safe sex" because the other precidents that followed Roe v Wade are being scrutinized by SCOTUS. Including Griswold v Connecticut which allows for the freedom to buy contraceptives without government restriction.

  120. Safe sex is not 100% effective. Hell, abstinence isn't 100% effective. The people who made this ruling believe in a religion based around a man born out of abstinence.

  121. I was on birth control and used condoms, I have two children. I literally never missed a pill, and we used extra protection, and I still got pregnant twice. How much safer could you possibly get? It still happens.

  122. People arguing for banning abortion typically have their head in the ground anyway since they won't argue for reducing unwanted pregnancies, so I'm not surprised that this nonanswer is the extent of their creativity.

  123. Once they outlaw contraceptives there will be no safe sex at all without risk of STPs or pregnant. The trend of Scotus is deeply disturbing, they are strpping the womans right to control their own bodies

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