1. Your dad was the third, sorry bro. Your mom totally pegged while watching, too... sorry about your confused penis.

  2. You two look like you’re about to film some inter species erotica, but I can’t figure out which one is the human.

  3. Combined drinking problem? I think you both misunderstood the concept that girls look better after few drinks.

  4. You don’t? Shit. I thought that was a regular Tuesday night for everybody... anyway, see you next Tuesday.

  5. Why do I think Jack Nicholson as the joker for the one on the left and the dad on the Munsters for the one on the right

  6. Girl on the left nailed the "I lived a totally mediocre life, but I'm proud that I have equally mediocre friends and 1000 Instagram followers who are mostly from India" look.

  7. The living definition of "get the fuck out of my bar" at midnight after losing your shit after a single lemon drop shot

  8. Oh look! Leaders of the 'international "cool" aunt that gets wasted on weddings and buys her nieces and nephews weed secretly society'

  9. Quarter life crisis? You’re both at least mid 40s. That’s the face they both make when men rain down on them like a piñata full of semen.

  10. Only drinking problem is when you can't have your morning whiskey to stop the shakes. Because world is bleak and full of terrors. There is no hope and everybody dies in the end anyway... well not everybody, some of us are cursed to live forever I guess, or to a uncertain point. Who knows... Anyhow you two slags shouldn't mess with the professionals, because you can't win.

  11. You look like the kind of girls who argue about who the bad influence of the pair is, while the guy you're both desperatly flirting with makes a mental note not to fuck either of you..

  12. If I were a seeing eye dog for a blind, obese, ugly man who has never been laid in his life and he met you two in a bar, I would bite him on the nut sack to ensure he wouldn't lay either of you.

  13. Y'all look like the type that would fight with your man and end up calling the cops for domestic violence even though you started it.

  14. Imagine being at a bar just trying to watch the game, and the two most basic bitches in the world come up and pester you to take a photo of them holding a piece of paper together. That's what this photo is. You can actually hear their annoying-ass giggles when looking at it.

  15. 2 overweight wanna be thots that believe all the compliments they tell each other. There's a reason you go out drinking together and there isn't a guy around. You can only be pretentious if you're good looking or have something to offer.

  16. Left: needs cosmetic surgery to address her entire face. Needs the best dentists that she can pay for with her budget of —> income - alcohol = income(.40)

  17. You 2 are the living version of that meme that talks about when you ask a girl for their number and the ugly friend says no. Immaet yall figure out who if the ugly one

  18. Two J’s aren’t nearly enough to get someone so high that they’d get in between these plain two pieces of white bread.

  19. One on the left hasn’t fucked a guy with a non prepaid phone since the Obama administration and the one on right tells most guys that the loose condom in her pussy is just her diaphragm.

  20. You are the two girls that buddies hit on when they both decide they want to bang the ugly one tonight.

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