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  2. On vacation in Ibiza with your mistress, you spend the night making passionate love. Mid act she confessed that she's been off the pill for the past 6 months. How do you feel about this?

  3. what were you doing the first time a patient cried in front of you while you gave them their diagnosis?

  4. I’m an anesthesiologist so I get to use the good stuff. A shot of propofol usually calms them down

  5. How do you want the kids to use the $100,000,000 donation directly to the joint pediatric heme/onc & psych ward?

  6. Half-eaten semi-solid bacon cheeseburger that perf'd sideways through the sigmoid colon, prompting our emergency ex-lap and Hartman's diversion. ...the bacon was probably still salvageable, imo.

  7. There was a kid with diamond blackfan anemia who was noncompliant with the iron restrictions and now he’s almost certainly going to die.

  8. I’m convinced there’s a union of administrators lobbying to make billing as complicated as possible so the billing assholes always have jobs

  9. In your side gig as a male stripper who shows up to peoples' houses to throw wild parties and give away drugs you've stolen from the OR, what should people do once the party is over, the house is trashed, the dog has a broken leg, multiple people are arrested, one person is seizing, and there is ejaculate everywhere?

  10. They should get insurance or they’ll be a getting a big ass bill that I’m not in a position to nullify

  11. How did you feel when you sexually molested the 9 year old Brandon, who is now suicidal at 15?

  12. If you can do a decent bag mask ventilation I’m impressed. If you can’t, I’ll still let you help but you should learn to bag mask before anything else

  13. What would advice would you give to premeds interested in becoming future cardiothoracic orthopaedic neurosurgeons? 🥵

  14. Make sure you go out of your way to argue with your unpaid TA to get that extra point on your chemistry quiz

  15. What positive reinforcement would you give to a patient trying to lose weight with diet and exercise or one who wants to stop smoking?

  16. Why do I have to wash my hands after pee pee when my junk is way cleaner than my hands ? Shouldn’t I be washing my junk after every use instead, it’s not like my hands can get UTI.

  17. I want to bang the hot cardiologist. How did you end up impressing her enough to get her number?

  18. Calling cardiology without actually looking at the ekg which the nurse assured me was VT. It was not VT.

  19. Welcome to the world of nursing. Lol. This happens to nurses all the time. Oh I feel fine and then no I have chest pain when the doctor walks in and they side eye the nurse....

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