1. In my experience it is the same thing as not living with them except you can't escape. They are always there. For me it was sleeping on the couch, her destroying things, and putting holes in the wall. Image, you can't even feel safe in your own bed and home. Each pwBPD is different, but may god have mercy. I'd be more worried about the kids.

  2. It's horrendous. Constant verbal abuse, constant walking on eggshells. Never knowing what will set them off, or if you're going to get your belongings smashed/destroyed or if you're going to get hurt. Constant living in fear. His life is going to be hell and those children will suffer unfortunately.

  3. You have to tiptoe around their insecurities even more. You can't make even the slightest suggestion for doing a chore more efficiently or mention the messes they leave without you being made out to be the devil who will never truly love them. You won't have your morning coffee in peace. You'll be forced to fuck when you inevitably don't want to anymore. You'll lose yourself and your peace.

  4. Let me put it like this, we only met for the weekends for the first months we were together. We then met for three weeks over christmas when she had a longer leave and that's when shit turned sour. She got herself kicked out of boot camp on suicidal threats came home to live with me permanently and within two months she had caused me to finally snap into a burnout-depression. I had no Will, I was woken up when she had to go to work, planning a trip turned into a full blown temper tantrum episode. Pregnancy threats and the whole shebang. In just two months...

  5. Its going to be literal hell in that house in the near future. Children going to suffer the most. Shes gonna burn it all to the ground at some point (figuratively speaking). Consider yourself lucky you didnt move in with her honestly. They cant fake the funk for too long. Moving in together is only gonna accelerate the destruction. Get your pop corn ready

  6. Me and my ex were roommates before we got together and man when I tell you it was a living hell.. IT WAS A LIVING HELL. They get tired of you so quickly

  7. There is WAY more opportunity for them to manipulate and abuse when you live with them. My ex wife exhibited a lot more symptoms when we lived together. If I had know how it would end up I would not have married her or bought a house with her.

  8. I was exhausted constantly juggling the meltdowns of an emotionally unstable and arrested child in the body of an adult to the point where I was neglecting my own well being. And THEN he moved in with me.

  9. It made things worst for me with my ex. We were having a child together so I asked her to move in with me. It lasted a year and then she had to leave as it got so much more toxic.

  10. I moved in with mine. She did some really odd hard to understand things before which I now understand to be emotional abuse. I thought she would level out if we were together all the time.

  11. I completely empathize with you here. My time with her was a mistake. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me to not even get started. The signs were there. My friends tried to step in. I began lying to everyone else off the bat to cover my behavior. She polluted me off the rip.if there was one person that I could un-meet and never get involved with....it'd be her.

  12. It’s definitely beginning of the end. The relationship or that guy - depends how strong he is. If he’s a normal guy it will take a while and he will kick her off but if she was dating him so long he probably is a Caretaker/codependent. If it’s true it will last as long as she will drain everything from him. And it always starts when they move in. Trust me, I’ve just finished relationship with 3rd BPD/NPD/quiet BPD in a row. The good is with every single of them I learn more and I set the boundaries and respect myself. Last week I dated girl and knew she is cluster B on the first date.

  13. The going to sleep thing made my life miserable. He worked 3-7pm I had to be at work at 830am. I ended up losing my job because he kept me awake with him every night. If I wanted to sleep without him I "wasn't spending enough time with him". I was exhausted. It made me lost my sanity so much faster, honestly one of the most insidious forms of abuse.

  14. Lol moving in with a borderline in my experience is when you actually realise what you’re dealing with. Everything before that’s child’s play.

  15. It’s horrible. I couldn’t even go into my own apartments sometimes without a police escort, or at least someone I trusted standing with me in the hallway to grab my things in case she went apeshit.

  16. Lol with mine it was about 4 weeks of non stop sex, settling in, basically it seemed like the start of a dream come true. Me and my "soulmate" were living together and starting a future. Then it became an absolute shitshow. Wouldn't stop causing waves with my roommate and I, refused to work, smoked all day and slept until 7pm. She was a homewrecker. Got to a point where my roommate was hopping in and out his window to avoid her. I remember one time we were gonna deep clean the whole house and this chick genuinely didn't know how to mop a floor. It was mindblowing.

  17. Literally drama in some capacity every day. My ex-wife is a quiet uBPD. Constant walking on eggshells and constant propping her up because she was always down on herself. I didn’t have much of a social life because once I put the kids to bed she demanded all of that free time to her self. I tried to have hobbies but she felt like they were competing with her for my time. If I was home late from work I was interrogated.

  18. Don't be jealous, it's going to be a living hell. She'll probably reach out and hoover you in about all the good times you guys had together in about 3 or 4 months

  19. Yes. My exwbpd discarded me last July after 5 years together. He moved his new GF in after 4 months of dating. They are still together. He text me about 3 weeks ago to tell me how I know him better than anyone else and that he misses it. I didn’t respond.

  20. I think I feel that way because things seem so well. Enough for her to sell her house and move in with someone. So I just question myself. Cause I know what I had to endure and mind you she isn’t totally in the wrong I had faults her as well. But it just seems so crazy to me how things are working well for her. I don’t think she will go overboard because of the kid Dynamics since they all know each other and go to the same school. Idk I feel the situation helps her. So it has me like damn. If I just stuck it out could that have been me.

  21. The relationship was very up and down.. she would get upset and say the nastiest shit then apologize and say “I’m sorry I don’t mean any of that I just say things when I’m mad and to get you upset”

  22. It's fckn horrible. She took over everything in my own house, shortly after she moved in. She went thru all my stuff under the guise of "helping to organize" Nah she just wanted a excuse to go thru literally everything i owned.

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