1. This is what I came here to say. I've had a couple of psychotic breaks and it's terrifying. You are just lost in another dimension and it's absolutely hellish, your mind is blinded and deafened to reality.

  2. I'm 21, but I feel like the moment I had this was the lowest point of my life so far. There are many parts of my psychosis that I remember that were actually delusions and hallucinations, but most of the time I had gaps in my memories. It was so bad that when I've come back to my senses, 3 weeks had gone by.

  3. It can be life altering and cause you to hurt people you care about. I cannot describe the horror of waking up and discovering you’ve done something that you never thought you were capable of. I will never overcome the shame.

  4. I worked psych for about 20 years and most people just can not fathom serious mental illness, you can explain the definitions and the symptoms, but they just don't get it.

  5. Recovering from one atm. Normally I’m a very easygoing relaxed person. During my psychosis I resisted police so much I got tasered multiple times. They said I tried to take their gun, but I can’t remember. I’m glad I’m still alive. It is hell

  6. I was looking for this one. Nobody can understand the chronic decision fatigue…and then judge when they see even the slightest mis-spending.

  7. And not like “oh guess I’ll have to skip that vacation to make rent” poverty. The “I’ve eaten nothing but beans, bologna, and bread for two weeks, I’m a month behind on rent, I just got a shut off notice for my heat, and my car is making a funny noise” poverty. That shit breaks you in so many ways.

  8. Great answer, honestly, I've been there. It's always met with responses like "shoulda tried harder" blah blah. I grew up poor and the most frequent response were how my parents didn't try hard enough or "sorry they didn't love you enough to provide for you". Both my parents had very tragic accidents that made it very hard to provide for me or my siblings. Shit happens and I'm mad as hell there is no safety net for people that suffer shitty situations beyond their control

  9. Oh lawd yes….. growing up we were always one issue away from homelessness. Everyone who has means and can live comfortably absolutely in zero way shape or form truly understands what being poor means….

  10. Especially while relatively young. You have a house payment, kids, are saving for retirement, furthering or paying for your education, living your best life...then your health is gone and income cut in half (at best). Disability in America is forced poverty. The losses are catastrophic. Your savings goes first, then your retirement. Next is your home. You hang onto your car for appointments until it breaks down and it costs 2 months' of income to repair. You are destitute and CPS takes your kids because you cannot provide for them.

  11. Yep. I became disabled at 23 years old in a car accident. Now I walk like a goblin and have chronic pain on my entire left side.

  12. Disabled here. It’s also insane how often people doubt and question the severity of your disability. Or try to make it comparable to something they’ve dealt with. Maybe it’s just me, but people always try to reason or justify why it can’t be that bad or it could be worse.

  13. Also, one thing people don't like to think about is the fact that if you live long enough, you will probably end up being disabled in some way.

  14. Came here to say this - yes, it’s illogical that someone would stay in an abusive relationship, but if your abuser hasn’t decimated your self esteem and you don’t think you have value, or you’ve bought the lies they have told you that you can’t make it without them, it’s difficult to get out. Took me years, and the thought that he was coming home to possibly kill me to hit rock bottom and put a plan in motion to leave.

  15. When I asked my brother why he smashed my head in all the time as a kid he told me I deserved it for not behaving as I should. This went on until we were in our twenties and had the biggest fight ever. My parents always saw him as a golden child, funny thing is that's what my brother thought of me. Except I was the scapegoat of this family. Now after my recent car accident, all my brain injuries have accumulated into something much worse. 🙃

  16. A fire. Even normal beeps kinda drive me crazy after hearing those fire alarms, getting burnt and sprayed with water all simultaneously while hearing this blaring noise all around me while being blind from the smoke and not having my glasses on after being woken up from a dead sleep

  17. In January of 2020, our condo building caught on fire. Ironically, a retired firefighter in another unit left a candle burning unattended and it caught on some papers, which spread quickly because dude was a hoarder. We were fortunate that our unit didn’t sustain damage, but the building’s utilities were shot and we were displaced for 8 months while they were repaired. I absolutely refuse to ever light candles in my home again as a result, but the worst effect is how it affected my youngest son. He was 2 when it happened and it caused a lot of behavior issues; he still has trouble sleeping in his own bed at night, since we were woken up at 1:30 AM by this, and we wound up working with a child therapist for 1.5 years because he had a lot of ongoing behavior issues that the therapist determined were fire trauma-based. He’s doing better now, but I still wonder how he would be doing now had it not happened in the first place.

  18. Not something I've experienced, but my mom and great grandmother did, and they were lucky to escape with their lives. Separate incidents too -- this family is just unlucky with fire. But it's interesting the way their experiences have been carried through to me.

  19. Yeah. And it's different and unique every time. Lost both my mom and brother to suicide. A completely different open wound for each. My dad died suddenly less than a year before my brother. You don't know how badly it can affect you and your entire life until it comes down on you like a sack of bricks. Just to have another fall on your head before you feel like you're back on your feet from the first one.

  20. Lost my wife unexpectedly and wound up being a single parent almost overnight. The stupid holiday commercials made me want to live in a hole for the next two years. Grief sucks and unless you’ve been through it, it seems like everyone tells you it will get better. It doesn’t, you learn to live with the loss.

  21. nothing like coming home after a terrible monday at school (bullying so much fun hahaha) and the first thing i experience at home is my mom in tears telling me my grandma just passed away from her cancer, like 12 days before Christmas, when the doctor told us she'll probably make it to next spring, and then getting made fun of at school for griefing after my mom made sure i don't have to go to school the next day with that shock and the teachers expecting me to still be fully capable of following classes :)

  22. Came here to say this. Grief isn’t one size fits all, and even to family it may be hard when you’re still going through it years down the road.

  23. It winds me up so much when someone has a head ache and calls it a migraine. A normal head ache can be nasty but it is nowhere near what a full blown migraine can be.

  24. I suffered from migraines with aura every day from September 2018 through most of 2019. No neurologist could diagnose anything other than me “probably having depression”. No shit doc, these migraines ruined my relationship, everything good I had going for me, and almost my entire adult life. Of course I’m fuckin depressed.

  25. I have a weird thing that happens to me. I believe it's brought on by periods of high stress. It's not a migraine, but the best way I can describe it is as a really intense "shooting pain" headache. Like I'll be fine for 30 seconds, then a jab of intense pain through my head. A couple times it's been bad enough that I had to go to the ER and get IV medication to make it stop. I've had CAT scans and nothing appears to be wrong. I haven't had one in a while now, but I've often wondered if anyone else gets these. Anybody?

  26. Being accused of a crime you didn’t commit. It’s a hard thing to go through. Even after investigating and and the case is dropped people treat you like you got away with it.

  27. I spent years as a public defender but ultimately had to leave because of the stress I'd have when I had a truly innocent client. I want to be clear, I had very very few clients that were really and truly innocent, maybe a total of three over 5+years and about a thousand clients, but it was so unbelievably stressful. I wouldn't be able to sleep or eat and I'd just be a complete wreck of anxiety the entire time. The thing is with the ones I had everything worked out exactly the way things should have with charges being dismissed before even a trial would take place but the absolute horror I experienced just thinking that one of them would be held accountable for something they truly did not do coupled with representing a client who was guilty who got acquitted was enough to get me to walk away. I still stress over those cases to this day.

  28. I was accused by someone of a serious assault when I was 17, a kid from round the corner from me who made my life hell as a kid took a really bad beating, and he told the police it was me. When the police called to my house to arrest me, when my mum asked what I'd done and the said it was in connection to a serious assault on Sept 3rd, my mum was able to tell them that I'd been in Spain since 30th August so it couldn't have been me. Even when I came back and was able to show the evidence that i was at the other side of Europe the people in my street still treated me like I'd kicked this lads shit in, rumours going about that I was always starting fights, I was knocked back from local bars because they thought I'd start trouble etc, a girl id started going withs Dad wouldnt let her near me because "id hospitalised that young lad". Truth is I only fight when I'm backed into a corner and would try get out of the situation first before lifting my fists.

  29. I was charged with some very serious crimes against police, that were all false. Basically I had pissed some cops off, so they abused their power to get me. Prior to this, I believed police were the good guys, only bad people were arrested, etc. Having gone through it, I now know very different. I spent time in jail, and discovered that most guys there, were not actually bad people. They all admitted to what they had done, and apart from a handful, I want scared of them. Most were simply men who had done something stupid. When I was granted bail, they were all genuinely happy and supportive, and wished me well. Court was long, expensive and exhausting. The police lied agains and again, but thankfully I had video that proved that I was innocent, though that didn't stop police lying for a second. So many experiences that taught me things I would never have known, or believed

  30. On the flip side of that, heartbreak. People who have never been dumped or broken up with someone won't understand the pain. (My parents and sister are both married to the first person they ever dated.)

  31. Came to say this too. The hardest thing to explain to people is the constant fear you now live in that it will come back. Every ache, pain, cold the first thing you think is "is it back"

  32. Just went trhough the pain of applying for a skilled.worker visa from inside the country. More than 8000 pounds spent. Stress. Deadlines. Delays

  33. Most people don't realize how easy it if for someone to act like a "nice, decent person" knowing full well that they're actually a shitty person. Also abusive person pick their victims not the other way around

  34. Chronic pain. People cannot conceptualize injuring themselves or becoming ill and being perpetually sore with no breaks or escape ever. It's a reality for many though.

  35. It’s also weird how normal it becomes. At this point, I can’t imagine not having the pain. Like if someone popped into my body I assume they’d be like “wtf how do you live like this?” But for me it would just be your average day.

  36. 100% I have fibromyalgia and people think it’s just a made up illness, they don’t understand the chronic pain your in. Like for me my legs hurt daily, I try to explain it to people this way…imagine running a marathon and you know how your legs feel after that…well I experience that 24/7

  37. It's incredible what one can get used to. My friend is having back trouble and she texted me the other day that she was so sorry for the daily pain I've had for 10 years. She gets it now. And I am used to it. Doesn't make it any less painful, it just is what it is.

  38. Poverty I thought I experienced poverty as a kid, but that was nothing compared to experiencing poverty as an adult and not having your mom shield you from the ugliness of it all. When all you can afford is 10 cent noodles for all your meals and you cannot afford to drive an extra mile, leave alone have air conditioning in the car in the middle of summer. Having to constantly save coins because any expense that comes unexpectedly better be fixable with the coins you've been storing. I wouldn't wish it on anyone

  39. I grew up White middle class so when I was younger, I fully believed in the boot straps theory because I just didn’t know any different. I knew that if I worked hard at my grades or job or whatever, I’d succeed at life. But I was White. And middle class.

  40. They treat it like it's a character flaw - that you're just too lazy to quit. They don't understand how thoroughly it hijacks you. I'm desperately telling myself to stop while I'm putting on my shoes and jacket to walk to the liquor store for the third time in a week. It's like my conscious mind is trapped in my head with no control, while the addiction controls all motor function, walking me to the liquor store and lifting the glass up to my mouth.

  41. This. Quite certain that my father had a narcissist personality disorder. He was financially successful. My mother completely enabled him, and other relatives sort of tolerated him. I got to grow up there. Awful experience.

  42. I think the best way to describe it is the feeling of never being alone. Even after you think they stopped, even if there’s no way they could be nearby, you never feel alone.

  43. There is a podcast called strictly stalking and it’s about victims telling their stories. I was stalked by an ex for years and it was really scary and escalated. I have found a lot of validation for my experiences through this podcast. I recommend it.

  44. Stalking is fucking scary. I was stalked by another grad student that worked in the same lab. They thought it was all a big joke (escalated to assault/stalking/harassment). When I reported it he ran around the department telling everyone I tried to get him into trouble. He did this in front of tons of people and no one said a damn thing. People fucking suck, honestly.

  45. I lost my sister to suicide and that already broke me very hard. I hope to never experience the day my twin dies (identical twins) because i really don't know how i would or even could handle it

  46. And the 20 questions you get to play with every single new person about why you have to use a cane or similar, the assumption that you’re being lazy or taking advantage, the feeling of uselessness as you rely on others in a way they could never rely on you.

  47. I say, "imagine everywhere you go and everything you do, someone follows you around screeching in your ear and shoving and jostling at you. It's at a frequency you can't tune out. It's exhausting, there's never a break. But everyone in your life expects you to always act like the screeching isn't happening, otherwise you're a party pooper."

  48. It's true. Even a slight pain that never goes away will change a person in ways that great acute but temporary pain cannot.

  49. Yes. 100% this. Chronic pain and chronic illness in general are so hard to understand if you haven’t experienced them. It seems really hard for people who haven’t experienced it to conceptualize a pain or illness that doesn’t end.

  50. Oof. Feel that. It drives me nuts hearing people that say people that want to kill themselves are selfish and not thinking of others. They have no idea how it feels to want to die, to make the pain stop.

  51. Also, depends on age. A lot of people think "Well, if you're old enough to know it's wrong, you're old enough to comprehend it and tell someone."

  52. “Yeah, let me just retraumatize myself to explain what happened to the police that will make me feel like shit for it happening and then will ultimately do nothing to resolve the situation.”

  53. Domestic violence is very much the same when it comes to dumb comments. People who have never experienced it say stupid shit like "I'd just stab him" or "I'd just hit him with a cricket bat" like, yeah, just try doing that when your attacker is twice your size, 5x as strong and 5x faster than you are. One swing of that knife/bat and he catches it, and before you know it you're the one copping it, and now he's twice as mad as before you swung it.

  54. Yeah as a child I was sexually abused and I had forced myself to forget it but recently I read something that made me remember it and it's so bad. I didn't know what to do and he told me that I was confusing myself and I actually liked it and that if I told anyone he would find me and hurt me I hate it when people tell me I should've just run away

  55. I was going to say this too. It's interesting how people throw out words like depression and anxiety and panic, and yet when you actually experience those things, they take on a completely different meaning.

  56. About 5 years ago I lost my job and was deep into depression. I decided to apply for disability. So i moved in with some friends who were married and had a spare bedroom.

  57. Unexpectedly losing a parent. My dad was diagnosed with liver cancer on September 30th, was told he had a small tumor on it and that they'd get him started with treatment. He died October 7th, the tumor was not small. It was half the size of his liver. He spent a day and a half in ICU, and 2 hours in hospice before passing.

  58. I’m very sorry. My dad woke up “with a tummy ache” last Jan 20. We took him to the hospital and he was dead from an undiagnosed liver metastasis 45 minutes later. Just gone. It’s like you don’t have time to process anything. They’re just gone. You have a million questions, but you can’t ask them. Dad, where is the safety deposit box you mention in your will? We still haven’t found it! I’m really sorry about your dad. Cancer sucks. I wish you and your family peace. (Edited a misspelled word)

  59. Came here to say the same thing. I lost my dad unexpectedly the week of my 20th birthday. He was there one day and gone the next. Poof. Having to face mortality like that at such a young age really changes your outlook on life. And at that age, that's not something a lot of your peers have had to experience, so it's hard to even talk about because you know they're not going to understand--or they'll offer empty platitudes that they think are deep, but you know are useless. And you feel it at every major milestone and achievement of your life--"I wish dad could have been here to see this."

  60. One thing i had people always say about me was "but you always look so Happy". They couldn't imagine that i had just taught myself to hide it

  61. Came to say this. I can describe tripping in great detail to other people who have tripped, but no matter how accurate the description, it still sounds like incomprehensible word salad to someone who hasn't had the experience.

  62. I love trip sitting or just taking care of random people that are tripping at raves. I've been doing psychedelics recreationally for quite a while now and I know how to make someone have a great time.

  63. The way I explain it to people is "Hey you remember that scene in Avengers Infinity War when Doctor Strange watched 14,000,605 different outcomes of future events? Yeah that's anxiety over every situation that went wrong or could go wrong".

  64. My roommate and I have anxiety. Whenever it starts to get real bad we hit each other with the line “Have you ever tried being less anxious?” Knowing damn well what the answer is.

  65. That and to add to that panic attacks from anxiety. I thought I was dying the first time I truly had one, I had no idea what was happening. Now I’m well aware of it as it picks up, but I know damn wel anyone who hasn’t had one has no idea what actually happens.

  66. This. People say that they get anxious too, but anxiety over certain situations is completely different than the constant anxiety felt in clinically diagnosed anxiety disorders

  67. I've met people who have not experienced anxiety beyond situational or performance anxiety, and they just don't understand what a nightmare it can be. I can only tell them to count themselves lucky, and hope they never develop an anxiety disorder.

  68. Grief. Had a manager at work who was an absolute bastard when it came to compassionate leave. A colleagues father died and the manager said they where milking it when they took a week off.

  69. My old coworkers mom died and she was not handling it well, so HR gave her an extra week off after her allotted bereavement time off. Our department manager kept making snide remarks about how she got extra “vacation” and when she got back the manager was like we had a really hard time without you here. That woman is the devil. Literally the worst person I’ve ever met.

  70. Omg yeah when I say I have an eating disorder people tell me that I should just eat and I would be fine if I wasn't so self centered that I wouldn't eat because I had "bad body image"

  71. Ikr. Yes I can eat. Eating isn’t necessarily the issue. The issue is the hours of overthinking, guilt, anxiety, self criticism, and worthlessness I feel afterwards. The compensation, the need for isolation, the guilt I feel when I push people away. The feeling that I won’t be worthy, the out of control feeling when I “slip up”, the loneliness that I know would go away if I could let myself live.

  72. Yeah. The whole thing. The excitement before deployment. The feeling of having a shared singular purpose with people you’ve essentially grown up with. The way combat effects time. The adrenaline crash afterwards. The elation you feel when you win. The existential panic you feel when you witness a friend die. The sounds of dying. And the sounds people make when they find out someone they loved died. Having friends go on a mission without you and simply never come back. The way you just keep living. Turning 22 and becoming one of the old guys. How water tastes after you’ve gone so long without it. The way different things smell when they burn. The realization that the world is indifferent to what you and your friends are going through. How long the final three months of a deployment can feel. Demobilizing and coming home to a world that never really changed. The pride of being a veteran in a unit full of new guys. The moment you realize you’re the last one left. The feeling of getting your discharge. The realization that you’re only 27 and you’ve got to figure out the rest of your life. When people ask you if you killed people. When people stop asking you about the war. How cool it is when one of the guys calls you out of the blue 15 years after the fact to catch up. How much it sucks to see one of the guys struggle with life when they live on the other side of the country. Looking at a photo of yourself and realizing you’ll never the beautiful war-fighting you were back then. Not knowing what to do with yourself without that shared singular purpose. The feeling of finding your own. When the memories fade, but your lizard brain remembers. How you don’t like to talk about the war and how dudes with Grunt Style shirts and Veteran hats annoy you, but you feel more comfortable around them than with civilians. The guilt, bitterness, pride, anger, and sentimentality you feel looking back.

  73. ive found most people also just dont understand how ocd generally is. its not just a single symptom disorder like wanting to keep things clean- ironically i dont have it but i know someone who does and shes pretty sick of the stereotypes

  74. So much this. It drives me crazy how casually people use the word “narcissist” on this app, so many people don’t know what that really means.

  75. Yeah- people act like they’re understanding until someone shows symptoms that make them uncomfortable, for example people can’t seem to fathom that a depressed person can struggle with say hygiene or cleaning their room. That’s just the very peak of the iceberg, there’s virtually infinite examples of things like this, that neurotypical people seemingly just cannot understand

  76. Mental illness. It's not a fucking super power, or a "fun" separation from reality. It's agony, fear and despair. Not being able to escape or trust your own mind is absolutely terrifying.

  77. Miscarriage. I've noticed it with my wife. She had 2 miscarriages in 8 months. Unless you've been through it (or lost a child some other way) you just can't understand.

  78. I am a nurse, who has worked in the maternity field at one point, and have cared for people having a miscarriage or stillbirth. I thought as a woman, I could imagine what it was like, then I had my own loss at 15 weeks in. I stil recall sitting on an OR stretcher and a resident rushing through her admission history before I was taken in (as I had to recall my events to yet ANOTHER person) and her telling me that I shouldn't cry "because you always can have another one (baby)". That was 20 yrs ago and I will never forget that. When I came back to work it made me even more hyper-aware of what I said to my patients and how I came across.

  79. In some ways, depression is having all the desires to go out and see the world and do things, and then not doing any of it because you don't really want to.

  80. I think that the main reason I didn’t lie around in bed all day at the height of my depression is because the ‘need’ to get up and do something that comes with my ADD trumped the desire to lay around in bed that came along with my depression.

  81. Grief. The grief of losing a loved, close family member. Grief is different for everyone but if you've never experienced it you'll never understand what it's like.

  82. Mental illness.. telling someone who has mental illness to “stop being sad” is like telling someone who has been stabbed to “stop bleeding”

  83. Being molested by your brother as a child but also making yourself forget it. Idk my brother is someone I love now and I tell myself it never happened.

  84. Most straight people I've tried to talk about this to also really have difficulty understanding that it's not a one-time thing. You're constantly coming out or in states of being out or in the closet to different groups of people based on evaluating your safety in any given social situation. It's no where near the stress as some of the things on this list like grief, cancer, or becoming disabled but it's more prevalent than it might seem at first.

  85. Just happened to me last month. I’d never wish it in anyone, but at least the person who cheated on me took the real L

  86. Yeah, came here looking for this. I've posted on reddit about my experience with this and it sucks. It's different for everyone and it's crazy making. For me one of the biggest things to work on is like great, now I have 6 years of memories of stuff that I just get to deal with through the lens of " this person went on to betray you and fuck up your life".

  87. addiction. Honestly I hate when people who don’t understand it make fun and say shit like “just stop” like, mate, if you knew what it was like you’d probably know it ain’t that easy. Honestly it’s so annoying hearing people say shit like that when they have no idea how hard it is to get out of an addiction. Instead of offering some tips or encouragement to help or something like that, people just poke fun and say shit like “never should’ve started in the first place🤡” and honestly it gets on my nerves and probably doesn’t do any good to the person affected. People just joking about addiction in the first place makes me think they really don’t care about those affected tbh, and a lot of people think they do it only to “look cool” which lowkey bugs me

  88. Bullying as a child. Nope it's not a normal part of school. Nope it's not a right of passage and nope the trauma does not leave you when you finally leave school.

  89. I am still haunted by being bullied all my school years, granted I dont think about it everyday but I can still recall a lot of stuff kids from fourth all the way to 12th grade said and did to me.

  90. Giving birth. It doesn't matter how many books you read, how many times you've seen it in movies or T.V shows, how many people's experiences you listen to.

  91. I remember feeling shellshocked that first time. I felt hollowed out by the memory for months after. I mean, I knew it would hurt, but I didn’t realize it would be an all-consuming, wtf-is-happening-to-me pain. I thought I’d just waltz in there for a natural birth. And then I got hit with precipitous labor and didn’t even have the option for pain meds.

  92. People always seem to underestimate how much it affects your life. They just think that you can "power through" the boredom and you're done. I for one can sometimes study like 6 hours, but it feels like a non stop battle. When I'm done I'm a litteral wreck, I want to just go in fetal position and just lay there for the rest of my day, but no. There are a million more tasks that have to be done today. It's just demotivating to think you will always keep having this fight. Every day in and out.

  93. Fighting. People think they can just throw hands like it isn’t completely exhausting after like 10 seconds if you aren’t trained. All that blood goes to your arms and they’ll feel like you are holding cinder blocks.

  94. PTSD... As a child of a Vietnam veteran, living with someone who has diagnosed PTSD from what they experienced is like nothing you can imagine.

  95. I have PTSD from an abusive childhood. I have been married for 24 years and my husband still doesn’t understand my startle reflex or how fast I can get upset when he raises his voice. It’s not something you can teach someone who’s never been in that situation.

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