1. Shitting outside. Not much of an accomplishment but during my employment for the US forest service I came upon the realization that I’ve never shit in the woods and I’d like to keep that streak going

  2. As a lifelong IBS sufferer I can say if you haven't shit while looking out over majestic scenery you are missing out. Also having a group of people waiting for you to finish is very embarrassing. You may have an itchy balloon knot until you bathe.

  3. I grew up in Michigan and now live in North Carolina. I'd never poop in the woods here for fear of snakes, but I still do look at fallen trees and think, " Ooh, that would make a good spot."

  4. I've been stung twice for as far as I can remember, might be more. Once when I was running in a flowery field with crocs, a bee got stuck in there. The other time I crashed into one while cycling, clearly it blamed me for sucking at flying.

  5. It is fucking HORRIBLE. Not to scare you, but I was in pain for about 3 months. It was insane. It's literally the most painful thing that's happened to me. I even had a mother of 2 with cancer say "I don't envy you, they're so painful it's horrible" which made me feel even worse.

  6. My kidney stone was too big for my small penis, so the obvious thing to do was shove a camera with a claw attached to it up my peehole... The claw ripped the jagged stone out of my body, leaving a path of destruction and a bloody meat pipe... They left a rope up my hole to prevent it from collapsing, they assured me it was very normal despite me protesting otherwise. My first piss looked like tomato juice with extra pulp and after 1 week after pain started go travel to my innards I got to go and have the rope pulled out of my penis by the urologist. He said he would pull it on 3, I made sure it was on 3 not 1,2,3, pull... But he pulled on 2, and he pulled like he was trying to start an old lawnmower he'd found in a garage. It might have been the most painful thing I've experienced in my life, so far...

  7. I’ve been called in twice. First time I got dismissed before being called in and the second called in and wasn’t needed for my day. I have been trying to get on jury duty every single year since I was 18-years old. To get to sit in an air conditioned room, downtown, judging people while my lunch was paid for? That is the life

  8. Got my summons last week. Right as I moved to a different county. Taje that suckers, im disqualified now.

  9. Quite a few of my professors (biotech degree) worked in cancer research. They've all said that basically if you live a long enough, healthy enough life, cancer will get you in the end. The only way you don't get cancer is if something else gets you first. They also all agreed the only two things you should really, really concern yourself about in regards to avoiding cancer are - don't smoke/chew/use tobacco and don't tan. Everything else is negligible, so don't sweat all those sensational news stories about studies that say hot beverages cause throat cancer or using dryer sheets causes cancer. As one of them liked to say, "Life causes cancer."

  10. That would be me too, until three months ago. Until then, it really was one of those things that happens to *other* people, but was not on my personal horizon. But it really does hit randomly and when you least expect it! (Btw, my diagnosis was breast cancer, and I will be fine. But the treatment is no fun!)

  11. I took three shots at a party when I was three weeks from being 21 and then decided to ride in the car with a completely sober girl because she wanted to go to the gas station. She rolled through a stop sign and the next thing I knew the guy was breathalyzing both of us. I spent that night in a drunk tank. Concrete bench and floors with bright lights. No sleep at all. I had to leave for a wedding the next day by 10am, but my car and phone were still 5 miles away at the house where the party was. They let me out at 8:15am and I immediately started my five mile run to get my car and phone so I could make it to my parents in time to leave in hopes they would never find out. I made it 500 feet and then my dad pulled up on the side of the road, threw open the car door, and said “get in”.

  12. Living in rural Alaska benefited me for once. Isolation from population hubs and barely anyone travels to outside regions. Plus people tend to stay indoors during the long winter months anyway.

  13. Me too! I've always wondered why I've never been stung, I've had bees and wasps and hornets fly around me hundreds of times.

  14. I hadn't either, until a week ago! And then I got stung through my clothes which I didn't even know was possible??

  15. Lol.. same. But I've listened over the phone to someone watch while describing it. When he began to gag, so did I.. it got bad enough I actually hung up! And I used to clean the bathrooms in the dorms so I'm no wussy when it comes to gross stuff..

  16. 44 and got my first summons last year. Was actually really looking forward to it as I thought it’d be interesting.

  17. Perhaps 30 years ago I was called into jury duty. I was quite excited about the prospect of serving. I go in and through the questions I learn it's about a rape case.

  18. Same. Wanna make a two person community? We never have to do or say anything but we'll both know we are united together in our community forever.

  19. I was once out with a group of male friends. For reasons that I can't recall we ended up getting into an argument with another group of males. Before I knew it there was a lot of gesturing and shouting as we all squared up to one another.

  20. If you ever get bit by a wild animal, DO NOT wait for symptoms before getting vaccinated. Symptoms mean you're already infected and will die.

  21. A couple of years ago I woke up to a bat flying around my bed in my apartment. The health department strongly advised a rabies vaccine because their teeth are so tiny it’s possible it bit me in the face and I never felt it. I had to get 4 shots for the first visit, one in each shoulder and a shot of immunoglobulin in each buttcheek. The butt cheek shots hurt way more than I thought they would. I then had to go back like a week later for a booster in my arm again. But on the bright side if I am potentially exposed again I wouldn’t need the immunoglobulin, only the rabies vaccine.

  22. Oh god I’ve seen my mom’s nudes, my father’s porn stash, my mom’s toys, and heard my parents banging far too many times (it’s actually how I started suspecting that they had marital problems. I stopped hearing them and then fast forward a year later and they’re separated).

  23. I like the “and” qualifier here. So you have taken a picture of your butthole. You just haven’t posted it…yet

  24. Quicksand is a funny thing. I knew that it existed for real, and it was nothing like the way it is portrayed in movies. My dad got stuck in quicksand once, told me about it, and it never really clicked with me until I ended up stuck in it myself. Quicksand is relatively rare; most places in the world will not support quicksand, but a few specific environments are susceptible to developing quicksand. It looks like dirt with a little bit of water sitting on top of it. My first encounter with it, I walked across what looked like a VERY tiny puddle on solid ground and wound up completely stuck to my hip in cement-like mud. It was liquid for an instant, and then just cemented in around my one leg. I got out by jamming my hiking pole down alongside my leg, and "stirring" the dirt. Eventually, water re entered the area, and I could pull my leg out. For a moment there was a big puddle of mud with a huge hole where my leg had been. Then it just.. disappeared and became solid again. Next time I ran into it, I had a canoe on my shoulders. Turns out, a canoe and double bladed paddle are pretty much the most perfect quicksand self rescue tools you can ever have. I just groaned, put the canoe on the ground, draped my body over the canoe, and slowly kicked my way out up. Now, I probe suspicious looking patches of ground in river flood plains with a stick before committing my weight to them. The chances you will get so badly stuck in quicksand that cannot self-rescue within ~10 minutes are small, but very much not zero.

  25. i avoided quicksand up until i was like 8. then along lake superior stepped in a patch midway up my thigh. luckily when i fell over i fell over on non quick sand and my parents pulled me out. some archaeologist will be thrilled to find my shoe and tube sock someday. my dad tried reaching for it, tried prodding it up with a stick - no dice.

  26. "Hey if you're coming to visit, take I-90 'cause I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle. Looks like regular sand, but then you're gonna start to sink into it."

  27. Some of us have been in a relationship since before those were really a thing. Match.com existed, but I was married before tinder really was a thing. It's crazy how fast things change

  28. I will not approach people in real life so online dating is all that's ever worked for me. I know I wouldn't want strange people talking to me in public so I don't do it to others.

  29. My stable sense of accomplishment is making my bed in the morning. I only started doing it about 5 years ago. I recommend it. Some days it’s all I can I accomplished.

  30. Gotta say, having ended more than a few of my relationships after finding out that I had been cheated on, I will never cheat on anyone.

  31. Sadly, it's possible/likely the two are related--the relationships you see modeled within your immediate family are the ones you are most likely to replicate. Growing up in a unhealthy family dynamic, I had to do a lot of therapy before I stopped seeking to replicate the unhealthy patterns.

  32. Oh hey. I've never met anyone else who had scarlet fever. People usually look at me like they think I'm a time traveler if I say anything about it.

  33. Fun fact, I'm allergic to pseudoephedrine, one of the main ingredients in meth production. Meth would probably send me into anaphylactic shock.

  34. So you're the person I keep getting into all the wrecks for! Seriously, I've been in half a dozen accidents where cars were totaled and so many others that I can't even count. They're never my fault and the local body shop actually knows me by name when I come in because I've been there so many times.

  35. Parallel parking. The first time I went for my road test I hit another car while attempting to parallel park. The second time there was a festival going on in town and the examiner skipped the parallel parking part. I got my licence. 30 years later and I still haven’t done it.

  36. Did it once in driver’s ed and once during the test. Never again, even more than thirty years later.

  37. I’m white, and when I was about 10 I had a friend who was black. One day we got into a fight about something and he called me the N word with a hard R. I was and still am at a loss for words

  38. Technically the only person who called me this was on an online game and I'm pretty sure he couldn't tell my race. Not sure if it counts.

  39. How have you avoided clowns? I get they're not an everyday thing, but I just find this hard to believe that you've never been near one.

  40. Oh man. I used to have a Great Dane and he was sitting on the couch ( my couch in my house) with me so my roommate chose to sit on the floor against the couch. There was an open chair available but she leaned agianst the couch under the dog. Well after a while she slumped down and my dog slid off the couch and tea bagged her. I wish I'd known it was about to happen so I could have filmed it. I have yet to see it happen to anyone agian.

  41. Dunno if I did it wrong but when I was like 18 a friend asked me to hold their cigarette outside a bar while they went for a piss. Tried to take a drag out of curiosity and it immediately made me choke and hurt my throat. Never tried again, lol.

  42. I never smoked or will smoke anything either. Just being near people who are smoking smell bad and makes you cough. My parents smoke to this day and i developed hate for it i guess.

  43. Honestly, until two days ago, grief. I’d had family die, pets die, people I know die and I just always shrugged it off, thought I was just immune to grief as I’m a pretty emotionless person until… Watched my cat get put down the other day and I’ve been grieving hard since. Watching him in his final moments really put it into my brain, I think I’d been in denial previously on how permeant of a thing that death really is, and every time it’s happened around me I’ve just denied it’s existence. Seeing it in front of me, damm. Shit hurts.

  44. I've never seen the entire introduction to MASH, intentionally. There have been some close calls but never have seen the entire thing in one sitting. I'm not sure why.

  45. I don’t understand how people like you exist. I think I was born with teeth. And those teeth probably had cavities. I legitimately can’t even count how many I’ve had and I’m only 36.

  46. Breaking a bone. It’s not like I’ve been a complete bookworm either. Cycling, skating, football, skiing, snowboarding, I fell off a roof once. Never broken a bone.

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