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  2. Please still try your best to recover. Hope is the last thing you should lose. If your mom doesn't take you where you need to go then do it yourself but don't stop fighting! You said it yourself, you want to recover.

  3. I feel like I am losing hope every day, but I will try to keep fighting. it's difficult though. I also have a hard time advocating for myself when I need help. and my parents have to drive me places and help me with things. I hope to get a helper soon who will be able to take me to doctor appointments

  4. I’m so sorry… You deserve to live SO much and I know you’re tired and afraid and I can’t imagine how much, but I hope you and the people around u do everything you can to help u stay alive and don’t lose ALL hope because right now you are still alive, even if barely. Thank you for sharing this with us, especially u wishing u recovered sooner, because I think a lot of us need to understand how vicious this disorder really is and that there is NO NEED to get “sicker” before recovering because we’ll almost never feel sick enough and the damage we will do to our bodies is real. That being said, please don’t give up hope, as long as you’re alive there is hope!! Your life is worth it and I can’t imagine you regretting any difficult decisions you make right now in the direction of getting HELP. Like genuinely I don’t even know you and I care for you so much already and as someone with rly bad social anxiety who gets overwhelmed s o easily, i can slightly imagine the OVERWHELMINGNESS of change in your situation and really really uncomfortable situations, but this is your life you’re talking about and you deserve to live so bad dude and it’s not too late. Sending you so much love and I will thinking about u and waiting for an update <3

  5. thank you for your kind words. this was helpful to read. I really hope I can start to feel better. scared so much of the damage I have done, and I can't help but feel regret now. I will post updates on my situation

  6. Mods please remove this if this is inappropriate but I just want to say that by writing this post you’ve given me a strong nudge towards recovery, and I hope that you decide to recover even if you believe it’s too late. Please don’t force yourself to suffer like this, especially if you feel it’s too late now. It’s never too late to recover <3

  7. Can you get your doctors and your therapist to talk to your parents? Can you go get a feeding tube to up your nutrients? One thing to get micro nutrients is to go to an infusion center, you have to pay out-of-pocket but you don’t need a prescription for it and you can get micro nutrient boosts via IV for the issue of not absorbing nutrients well. It won’t provide calories but it will provide the nutrients that you aren’t getting from the food that you are eating since you mentioned you’re not absorbing them. Please continue to advocate for yourself because you are worth it. Sending love

  8. thank you. I can get my doctor to talk to my parents. I have read about a feeding tube, and I am a little afraid of it, but I know it's an option, and that I may need one some day if my body can no longer absorb nutrients properly. thank you for the info about the infusion center. these are helpful suggestions

  9. I read about hospitals and your troubles with them, so I was wondering if you may qualify for hospice care? The criteria is different in various locations. But it may be worth a shot. Very gentle hugs to you. I’m paying attention. I’ll try to learn from you.

  10. yes, palliative and hospice have been mentioned, but my mom isn't ready for me to go that direction yet. she doesn't understand how much I am suffering. I will try to be hopeful and maybe I will start to feel better

  11. So sorry for the late response, hope you are doing okay. I completely understand that residential programs scare you, but would you at least be willing to try it? ❤️ And if I may ask, what scares you about it the most?

  12. no, I can't do any higher level of care. it's just not possible. Inpatient treatment traumatized me last time. plus, I don't do well trying to recover while being around other people. it's just not an option. my mom started crying today because she keeps hoping I want to try to get better, but honestly I feel like giving up on treatment. but maybe one day I will wake up and feel better and try for some type of help. maybe. the chance is very small, though. considering how I feel, palliative care seems to be the best option. not everyone will get better. some people just get worn out and don't want to try anymore, and I think I have reached that stage

  13. I can't even imagine what people with autism (and people who are on the spectrum) have to go through WITHOUT an eating disorder. I will never pretend to understand your situation, but what I will say is that I can't even tell you how much this pains me to hear. My philosophy used to be "I'd rather be dead than fat". And if I really think about it a part of me still feels that way. But then I think again and I realise how absolutely fucked up that is. Fucked up, but not that strange really. Women have been lead to believe that our bodies are what defines us. If you don't have the body that is (currently) the norm right now, you're gonna fucking hear about it.

  14. thank you. this is very true. having autism and anorexia makes things very difficult, and makes recovering or attempting to feel better very difficult. I wish more health care professionals tried to help people who struggle with both, or were more understanding. dealing with anorexia is obviously a challenge, and so having autism on top of that problem is very daunting. true, people have a stereotypical view of how a person's body is supposed to look. and you are right, a lot of people, doctors, for example, are uneducated when it comes to eating disorders. just because you look healthy on the outside doesn't mean you aren't suffering. people think an eating disorder is a look or how skinny someone is. it's really ignorant. I will try to find the strength to carry on. though it's difficult, because I just get worn out. an eating disorder really drains your self esteem and motivation to do things. it's such a horrible illness. I had a friend that passed from this disorder. I don't want that to happen to me. scared it might. trying to learn to cope with the disorder the best I can. a harm reduction approach seems to be the best option for me. seeing as how I have this disorder for 16 years, recovery just doesn't seem realistic at this stage

  15. I'm doing ok. I feel tired and these health complications are making me pretty miserable. I'm about to get a new doctor and a new therapist so hopefully they can help me. I'm trying to eat more but it's not really making me feel better

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