1. Her husband's lack of support is a huge red flag for me. He should be telling his mom to cut it out.

  2. So she outed her odd behavior to your husband and he blames you????? SHE LITERALLY INVADE YOUR PRIVACY AND WATCHES YOU WHILE IN THE BATHROOM and it is YOUR fault? OP could decide to pee fully naked and whatever she does in the toilet while alone is her own damn problem.

  3. Also MIL is an AH. If this were FIL instead of MIL I am sure everyone would be acting very differently about the situation. I would personally find this intrusion of privacy violating. She would be out of the house.

  4. Oh see I was thinking jelly like we have in the UK...eat that an smile at her as you slowly push the jelly (jello?) Through your teeth! Don't break eye contact!

  5. I also thought she could have a whole ass table set up and put a deck of uno cards or something already in play, and a couple of facedown ones on MIL’s side. When she walks in, OP says “Well, it’s your turn?? I can’t keep standing here forever.”

  6. Or wait at the door and as soon as you hear her at the doorknob, rip the door open and say really loud “what are you doing” scare the shit out of her!

  7. Go full data nerd: start tracking it. Give her feedback on how her timing varies, if she's slower than usual ask if she's distracted or got a poor night's sleep. When she's faster, compliment her quick reaction times.

  8. Maybe when she walks into the bathroom, you should take her arm and guide her gently but firmly back to your husband and have a gentle but serious conversation in front of her (like she’s a child) about her deteriorating mental state. Pull out a handful of brochures from various nursing homes from a drawer and tell him it’s time to stop avoiding the awful truth: she’s gone ‘round the bend and needs 24-hour care. If she protests, shush her and offer her some tea and a warm blanket. Speak to her in a loud voice like she’s 100. Look concerned. Pat her arm and tell her it’s all going to be okay. Wave off your husband’s protests and ask him why else would she barge into bathrooms repeatedly if not for mental decline. Make both of them squirm.

  9. "Why yes, husband, I am doing rituals in there. I'm summoning demons, but the only thing that keeps appearing is your mother."

  10. Yes! But, DH, it is a ritual and it’s working. Why should I stop now? Also, OP should start walking in on MIL. If she locks the door, just knock uncontrollably.

  11. NTA. Who opens a closed bathroom door? Your mil is such an asshole. This is the weirdest power play to continually walk in on you in the bathroom. Your next pose should be facing the door giving her two middle fingers

  12. If I didn’t just straight up threaten divorce I would start logging the number of times and use that data in conversations with rational friends and family to get their take.

  13. Who leaves bathroom doors open? If my DH does a number 2 I want that smell restricted very much in the bathroom thanks, not whafting about the house 🤣

  14. I can understand not knowing that OP doesn’t lock the door and accidentally walking in once or twice, but to continue to do it knowing the situation is 100% intentional. What a weirdo.

  15. My coworkers used to do it to me all the time when we were working out of a temporary construction trailer and the bathroom had a faulty lock. They refused to knock and would scream bloody murder like I was purposely exposing myself to them when they just opened the door. Sounds like the MIL.

  16. Walking in on somebody doing a ballet pose in the bathroom is "Terrifying", but barging in on your DIL and making eye contact while she squeezes out a dookie after being told repeatedly not to barge into the bathroom is normal behaviour?

  17. It truly is disgusting. Don’t these MILs ever stop and think how they would have felt if they had that done to them by their MIL? I really wish she had recorded her barging in on her. Make it into a giant reel and post it to social media to show just how often this woman does this.

  18. NTA. I would just wait with my phone and take a picture of her as she barges in. Post it on FB with “MIL walking in on me in the bathroom again lol!” “I don’t know, she just always does it!”

  19. Why stop at a picture? Start recording video just before she opens the door, and then ask her why she keeps barging in without knocking, knowing OP was already in there?

  20. NTA. Your hubby is full of crap! That's an inventive and humorous way of dealing with his creeper of a mother. You're all adults. Most adults know when the bathroom door is shut not to go in!

  21. Apparently not MIL! Also could depend on ethnics or how someone was raised. My sister always has her doors shut to keep her animals out of the bathroom. Also keeps the room cooler/warmer. (not arguing.)

  22. NTA, although you really might want to go to therapy about the no locks thing, because this situation would have been infinitely simpler if you could've just done that. Nonetheless, your MIL needs to learn to knock. More importantly, your husband needs to quit making excuses for why MIL hasn't started knocking yet and tell her to quit barging in on you if she doesn't want to see things she isn't supposed to see.

  23. This gave me a very good idea. You don't like locks? Buy a personal alarm, the kind with a string you pull and it makes noise. (They are cheap on Amazon, get a box of them, they're useful) Attach ends to the door and door frame (a bit of scotch tape will do). Insert earplugs. Poop freely. She may never bother you again lol.

  24. That and ask husband if she can send a naked pic of him to all her relatives cuz whats the big deal they're faaamiiiily. /s

  25. This is hysterically funny and I’m so annoyed at your husband for 1) not telling his mom to do like literal 8 year olds are capable of doing and knock & 2) for not having a sense of humor and mad respect for your creative way of handling this.

  26. NTA. You could have been a raging jerk about this and still have been within your rights. She only saw you “practicing rituals” because she’s weirdly invested in barging in on you in the bathroom. She’ll be fine and maybe learn a lesson.

  27. This. This This This. Locking a door for privacy is a good thing and if you can't the therapy can help. Do you have kids yet? Cause your gonna want to be behind a locked door sometimes if you have kids ;) also, do you leave your house unlocked at night? Your car? Or is this bathroom specific?

  28. Ya really if her trauma is that bad that she cant lock a door she needs help to begin with and that starts with therapy.. do you never go on a bus? Through airport security? Lock your car doors while you drive?

  29. NTA print a large ass picture of her and stick it on the bathroom mirror, draw a pentagram around it and put candles everywhere. Wait in there with all the lights off.

  30. He called you childish? Fuck that. You are under reacting here. This is gross intrusive behavior and if he will not recognize that you need to reconsider some things about your marriage. NTA.

  31. INFO: Have you actually had a conversation with your MIL about this? I honestly think it could be a culture difference. In my family we leave the bathroom door open when not in use, so if it's closed, someone is in there. We never bother to lock the door.

  32. Why did I have to look so far down to find this very reasonable response?! I was also going to suggest getting a door hanger, and having an actual conversation is also a good idea. I’m not sure why OP assumes this is intentional/malicious on the MIL’s part. Maybe there are other actions not in the post that lead her to believe that. And yes, perhaps a more aware person would have realized by now that she should start knocking. But honestly, some people, especially older people, just need things spelled out more explicitly. If she doesn’t start to adapt after OP has the convo and starts putting up a door hanger, then yeah, I’d say she’s probably just being an asshole. But prior to that I think OP may be jumping to conclusions.

  33. I'm getting the impression that it's been done enough times that MIL is doing it on purpose, even if they are of different schools here.

  34. Girl, just get a big ol’ vibrator and have her walk in on you soaping it generously in the sink. Bonus points if it’s a neon color.

  35. NTA, and your husband being 'livid' over this is an extreme overreaction. His mother is a nosy, intrusive creep who gets off on destroying your perfectly normal boundaries.

  36. NTA - ...or... he could be a husband and tell his mother to stop entering the bathroom when it is obvious someone is in there. Or... even... I dunno, stop victim-blaming his wife just because his mother doesn't respect boundaries?

  37. This. I was wondering where the part in the post was where people... talked to the MIL. Either the husband or OP. Instantly resorting to weird shit, while funny and harmless is also maybe a bit over the top XD Don't think anyone is an asshole for that because it's harmless, but also, come on people. Talk to each other.

  38. I mean, she tried to bring it up with her husband, and he first ignored her and then dismissed her. If she's not supported by him in this, I could see her not feeling comfortable or capable of bringing it up with MIL.

  39. This is hilarious. Keep doing it. Next time, be standing right in front of the door with a big mirror just so she can see how freaking stupid she looks.

  40. NTA. It sounds like they may be working together to “fix” your fear of locking the door - why else would your husband be angry at any response you have other than licking it?

  41. Oh my god, I love this so much. Your mother in law is very rude (and actually very creepy and insane for doing this) and your husband needs to stand up for you, I can’t believe he hasn’t done anything to stop her yet.

  42. NTA, but your husband and MIL sure are. Personally I’d see it as a huge red flag that your husband won’t respect your boundaries.

  43. NTA Once is an accident, twice is forgetful more than that it's deliberate! Regardless of the door being locked or not she is well aware of where you are. Good for you for calling her out on it and thank you for making me giggle imagining the weird bathroom poses.

  44. Why should she have to relive past trauma because her mother inlaw refuses to respect her? She has every right to expect basic social rules, such as don't open a closed bathroom door when you know it is occupied, in her own home.

  45. We’re claiming that being locked in a bathroom as a five-year-old by your brother is a life-changing trauma now? Whatever. YTA just for that.

  46. NTA. I’ve read posts like this on here before. I will never understand people barging into a closed bathroom door. It always ends up having creepy undertones. Like, would your husband not mind your father walking in on him in the bathroom regularly? Weird even if it IS family.

  47. NTA, but I do kind of agree this solution seems a little over the top and childish. I’ll play devil’s advocate and suggest there’s a chance your MiL isn’t doing this deliberately but instead is expecting that if someone is using the bathroom that the door will be locked.

  48. NTA, go to therapy, but in the meantime, maybe get a sign for the bathroom door that says “in use”? And if she still barges in, flat out ask her WTF?

  49. NTA but you don’t have a MIL issue you have a husband issue. Do you really want to live your life second to his mommy?

  50. HAHAHA this is the best thing I have ever heard. How can your husband not find this both fucking hilarious and also say to his Mum WTF are you doing? I literally have tears running down my face from laughing so much as the genius of your response.

  51. HAHAHAHHA NTA and you’re hilarious! Your husband is an asshole, though! And your MIL needs to learn some manners.

  52. Info: Do you keep the bathroom door closed when someone isn’t in it? We do because of a toddler. Therefore if it’s not locked, or light/fan isn’t on, people may think it’s empty.

  53. NTA. You are hilarious and did a harmless thing to deal with seriously rude band peculiar boundary violations. I don’t understand your husband’s weird and unkind reaction - is his family full of perverts and he’s normalized it? Is his mother developing cognitive problems and he’s in denial? Did they all grow up sharing a two seater outhouse and thinking of poo as a social event? Either way, he’s useless and she’s going to keep barging in.

  54. NTA. Somewhat mystified by the "ESH" responses. If MIL's barging in were an honest mistake, she might by a little embarrassed but would ultimately think the poses were funny too. That she was alarmed by this suggests to me that her actions are definitely on purpose, and she's deflecting. "I'M not weird. SHE'S weird!" I do wonder, though, if she's passive-aggressively trying to get you to lock the door because the first time WAS a mistake, and now she's teaching you a lesson or something?

  55. Clearly NTA, but it's sometimes hard to get used to considering bathroom closed just when lights are on. In some doors you can hardly see that someone is there.

  56. Yeah, ESH. Could you not just have had an adult conversation with MIL and asked her not to barge in? Your husband could certainly have done so. Also, the lock is on YOUR side of the door. You could use it.

  57. Rituals?? Lmao!! Guessing America? NTA but maybe sing "I'm in the bathroom don't come in" on repeat while you are in there and therapy for the locking thing. What on earth do you do when you use a public loo??

  58. NTA Your mistake was telling your husband what you were doing. You should’ve just told him that you don’t know what she’s talking about, that you were either brushing your teeth or folding laundry or cleaning the toilet.

  59. NTA, this was a brilliant response. Sounds like MIL is playing a power game and thinks seeing you in a compromising position gives her the upper hand. Some ideas for you:

  60. NTA I think you trolled her hilariously since it seems your MIL is seemingly trying to catch you doing something wrong instead of actually using the bathroom. Your husband sucks for not having compassion for your reason to not lock the door and not understanding privacy is a serious personal boundary no matter who it is. Knocking on a closed door is common courtesy. It shouldn’t matter if the door is locked or not.

  61. NTA that is very weird of your MIL...sounds like some sort of fetish!?! Is she trying to catch you sat on the toilet or actually naked...I would not be comfortable with that...if you don't want to lock the door...you could stick a 'engaged' sign on the door...or place a towel in front of the door so it wedges under the door so MIL can't push it open easily

  62. NTA, but INFO: Since you started doing it on purpose, how long do you have to wait in the bathroom before your MIL comes in?

  63. NTA, your lock thing is odd but regardless, the fact that Hes more livid with the fact that your turning a down right creepy thing into something funny, and not his mom clearly trying to perv on you for reasons even my mind (that's seen and heard really fucked up shit) cant fathom is kind of asinine, and frankly I'd tell her to either respect a closed door or leave!

  64. If you have trauma from being locked in, just put a sign on the door that says "In use, do not enter". If she disregards that, then you have proof it is deliberate. No need to stoop to her childish level. While being petty sounds fun, having the upper hand and being above it all is always better.

  65. I'd have been ready with a bucket of water to throw in her face because - "oh! You scared me! So sorry." My mother used to do this, it's all about dominating you. She's showing you you have NO power against her, not even to shower or even $h1t in private. NTA

  66. I think you're a genius! But if your husband is being a whiny b**** baby about it what you could do is go get yourself some of that god-awful fart spray. I mean apparently it is just gaggable. And then get yourself a balloon and fill it with hair gel or lube or something slippery and Air and then the next time she comes in squeeze the balloon to make the disgusting sound and spray the fart spray. I mean, make it so that she will be f****** terrified to open the door if you're in there. Lather rinse repeat until she learns her lesson.

  67. NTA. Pretty weirded out by all these people saying it’s your fault for not locking the door. Does knocking not exist???

  68. NTA and this will probably be downvoted but honestly, this is one where I just read it and think... just lock the door. I understand trauma, I really do, but you can't refuse to do something as simple as lock a bathroom door. This seems like something to work through.

  69. NTA. but I would just flat out ask her why she is fixated on seeing you in the bathroom and if this is some kind of fetish she may need to see a therapist about. Tell her you love her and all, but you are not interested in her that way. Make sure you say this in front of other people. Then proceed to ask her if she needs you to put up a sign to "remind" her to knock on closed doors before entering, especially the bathroom door. Me personally I would have a water gun and a camera ready so that I could spritz her as soon as the door popped open. Record that crap every time she comes in. Even my 3yr old niece knows how to knock on the door before coming in.

  70. NTA, and MIL needs to get a damn hotel room and counseling. Husband might have been abused by her based on how he is responding, but his reaction is not normal either.

  71. NTA and if you are "childish" maybe get some of those joke tins where a snake on a spring jumps out when the lid is taken off, I'm sure you could rig it that opening the door is enough to set it off towards the doorway. Also re the lock worry - you can get door wedges that you put in place so not actually locking you in. (just looked online and you can get them with sirens which would be even better!)

  72. NTA, it's ok for her to make you feel weirded out by her intentionally walking in on you but not ok when you're doing it to her? Double standards...

  73. There are definitely problems in your marriage, the biggest one being that your husband seems to take his mom’s side over you. Is that really what you want in a partner?

  74. As usual the problem in this kind of situation is an enabling spouse. The MIL is weird but the real AH here is your husband.

  75. NTA. this is funny. Once is an accident, twice is kind of an accident, after that she just wants to see you naked or make you uncomfortable. What you did is harmless

  76. NTA, this is hilarious. Your MIL and husband are being the weirdos here. (and, why would your husband be livid and take his mother's side over yours?)

  77. NTA. Your husband and MIL are trying to get you to lock the door. It probably was an accident the first time, they talked, she said “why doesn’t she just lock the door” and now here we are.

  78. NTA. Her husband is though he's defending his mother for deliberately barging in on the regular basis on you in the bathroom. I'd be tempted to strip and stand there with your arms out waiting to hug her. What then she's going to tell your husband he made a pass at her?

  79. NTA, and kudos on the hilarious response. You don’t barge into bathrooms when you are a guest. It sounds like your husband and MIL need to grow a sense of humor. Rituals? Lol

  80. Unless MIL has senility issues NTA. Also may I suggest a trip to White Castle? That might make MIL think twice about barging in.

  81. NTA. He wants maturity? He needs to tell his mom to learn how to knock properly. It is very inappropriate for her to just walk into the bathroom, no matter whose in it. "Faaaaamily" my butt. My own husband knocks before coming in the bathroom while I'm in there and he knows I don't mind (usually to continue a conversation we were having prior to needing the bathroom).

  82. The lock shouldn't matter. Unless you 100% know you're alone you should always take a second to make sure no one's in the bathroom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

News Reporter