1. Tagging along on the top comment to add that I bet the wife started the whole feud with the mother to begin with.

  2. Completely self inflicted, sounded like the whole "thing" was over and done with - mom had agreed to have no contact with them. Feels as if the wife wanted to do a victory lap on social media.

  3. She intended to humiliate OP's mom with lies and to not be caught since OP's mom is classy and dosen't spread stuff about them on social media. His wife is upset beacuse she thinks if OP hadn't been honest (self-servingly, OP didn't even care about her publicly defaming his mother he didn't like feeling personally embarrassed) she thinks that the only person who would have been humiliated was her innocent victim.

  4. the fact that OP’s wife was willing to let people think something’s going on with OP and his mother by posting a picture of her MIL and SFIL (& cropping SFIL’s head off) is a very deliberate “idgaf who this hurts as long as MIL is hurt” vibes.

  5. Yep, if their relationship was that bad then she didn't need to make anything up, the truth would be bad enough. That said, no matter how bad the truth may be she didn't need to broadcast anything on social media. The people who really matter would find out if they wanted/needed to and that should be more than enough.

  6. I don’t care that she posted the truth on social media. It’s the truth, his moms generation shears people verbally, his wife’s generation responds on social media.

  7. I don't understand why people lie about stuff like this when there's actual stuff the person has done that they can tell people. If she's so bad, then surely the wife can find something real to post.

  8. A dumb asshole teenager. Because it's so easy to disprove her claims since every person that attended the wedding could have pictures/video showing the green dress.

  9. You’ve gone no contact. It should be over. Why drag that shit out? And it shows a pretty significant disregard for your feelings and how you might feel about all of this. She’s being petty and she’s not thinking about you.

  10. If OP has the original photo, I would also put that in the comments as proof. Wife brought this all down on herself. She also embarrassed OP and he had a right to set the record straight.

  11. NTA. Your wife is immature for doing that. Why would she post such a thing, not considering your feelings about it, much less your mothers, even if you guys are at odds with her. She deserved being called out. Next time she’ll be mindful of what she posts. Wife sounds like a drama queen.

  12. NTA - I hope you went NC with your mom based on behaviour that you have witnessed yourself because your wife clearly doesn't mind lying and manipulating

  13. This this this this! OP, make sure you really really know who is in the wrong on this argument between your wife and mother. If its your wife, well then, you are severely miss-guided. "Put your wife first" does not mean let your wife isolate your from your family trying to help you.

  14. Exactly! I would be reconsidering all the “affronts” wife has had issues with in the past if this is her style.

  15. I think it needs to be remembered that when you go no communication with someone for no fault of theirs because your significant other demnds it, the correct term for it is isolation.

  16. I had a thought that the mom and wife both might be similarly petty and manipulative. It’s not uncommon for people to marry spouses that have the same emotional patterns as their parents. At that point you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to your spouse and your parent

  17. My thoughts exactly. If she’s willing to lie on social media to make the mom look bad, what else is she willing to lie about? Are we sure mom is the problem?

  18. It must be a hard gut punch to have to go NC with the mother who birthed you, loved you, cared for you, raised you and you love deeply, for the sake of your SO/relationship. OP made that choice, and I'm sure it hurts him dearly. OP may still be grieving the loss of that relationship, and this woman is so immature that she goes to social media to not only air their dirty laundry, but also make up lies for no reason. The wife may be overjoyed that she is finally rid of her MIL, but how can she not comprehend that this is probably painful for OP.

  19. Lying about something that is so easily disproven is just idiotic. I'm assuming she has friends on her social media who were at her wedding and would know this isn't true.

  20. Jesus Christ chill out on the defamation bit, it's one picture on social media of her wearing a dress, it's not actually defamation unless it causes injury to her

  21. NTA. Your wife’s idea of petty revenge was attempting to humiliate you. Your reaction seemed less like defending your mom but rather more so defending yourself. Your wife needs to be able to distinguish between the two when going for petty revenge.

  22. This is what I thought, OPs wife made it seem like OP had HIS head in her boobs 😳 that's just nasty and then having all friends and in laws seeing and believing that too, she in turn has said 'my husband likes to put his face in his mom's cleavage'

  23. Yes. Surely, if MIL was bad enough to warrant going NC, then there must be plenty of factual examples of her bad behavior. Why fabricate new ones?

  24. NTA but I would love to know what the fight was about because if your wife was in the wrong there then I think you might have picked incorrectly.

  25. Can anyone else not see OP’s response to this comment? It appears on his profile, but when I click through I don’t see anything…

  26. Look at his comments it's very eye opening. His wife pokes and pokes until his mother blows up. Because he thinks his mother is more intelligent he expects her to take his wife bullying.

  27. She went through the trouble of cropping out stepdads face to say it was her husband so it wasn’t memory issues. She knew. And honestly if I came across that post I would’ve been suspicious right away by having to block out the face of her “husband.”

  28. NTA. Your wife could have gotten her "petty revenge" without drag you into it and making you and your mom out to be Oedipus and Jocasta.

  29. Absolutely right. No matter the feud, I'd be furious if my SO posted something on social media that implied I had an inappropriate relationship with one of my PARENTS.

  30. INFO: do you have a problem with your Mom or just your wife. No judgement this seems off if she had no problem with the NC. Mother's don't tend to be okay abandoning their kids.

  31. NTA Your wife decided to make some posts about her relationship and experiences with your mother leading up to the decision to go no contact, fine. I agree with you some people over share on social media. She crossed the line when she started lying about your mother and posting and erroneously labeling a wedding photo for "just little bit of petty revenge". And she was wrong to drag you into by posting the photo

  32. NTA but social media is not a personal journal. Save that ish for the diary under your mattress or your burn books. No one wants to read into your petty grievances and it is super embarrassing for everyone involved. Post your photos of your meals, pets, vacations etc and get the heck offline.

  33. INFO: you may not want to say but what caused this? I've hear of MIL's & DIL's not getting along but your wife is "photoshopping" your MIL's wedding photos to use on social media!

  34. NTA. You did the right thing asking her to take it down. Social media is absolutely the wrong place to have an argument with your spouse, but your wife was lying about both your mother and you in this post. Since she refused to take down the lie, correcting it there was really the only reasonable option left.

  35. NTA You did nothing wrong here and were tactful in how you handled it. You didn't outright call her a liar, you said she must be confused. The only reason she feels humiliated is because she knew posting that photo and portraying your mother as a monster on your wedding day was a lie.

  36. NTA. Based on the behaviour she’s exhibited, perhaps your wife is the problem. Also, remind her that Facebook is a social media platform, not a diary.

  37. NTA, what your wife did was wrong and petty. You did good even if your mom and wife aren’t getting along, your wife was the one that humiliated your mom and you just told the truth. Nothing wrong with telling the truth.

  38. NTA your wife wasn’t being petty she was lying to try to make your mom look bad. You handled it right since she refused to take it down.

  39. NTA. But I think that your wife is the one to blame for animosity between her and your mother. Be careful, abusive husband/ wife always try to isolate and gaslight their partners.

  40. Live by social media mudflinging, die by social media mudflinging. Not only was what your wife posted a lie, but it was a lie that was harmful to you, not just her intended target. And no matter what estrangement may occur, going after someone's mother is low.

  41. After reading the comments I am 99% sure this fake and OP is actually AITA’s resident MIL troll that is trying to mix things up. The way OP describes the fight, the insults, his mom etc seems in line with the MIL troll. Including the wife referring to OP’s mom as slutty.

  42. NTA petty revenge must be JUST and TRUTH, for it to be true petty revenge, otherwise you're being a lying b**** and you're ruining it for the rest of us.

  43. Problem is not MIL. I think DIL is problem. I bet MIL is happy with NC but his wife loves to do ugly fights. She has no low bar. Edit: grammar

  44. NTA. If you really want the post removed, report it. You should be upset with her and she needs to apologize for lying publicly to humiliate and degrade your mother. In fact, that would be the absolute last straw for me with this whole fiasco. I’d be having a sit down with her and discuss that enough is enough and to be an adult and move on.

  45. NTA. Just because you don't get along with someone gives you no right to lie about them. That's juvenile and flies in the face of you having your wife's back. And gold stars to you for the gentle (def not humiliating) way you called bs on her lies. It gave her a way out that she refused to take, opting for childish drama instead. Get some counseling and I hope she grows up.

  46. Nta, I understand the drama of in law relationships, but if your going to go around just straight up lying.....you run the risk of being called out. I'm sure your mom has done plenty of stuff worth complaint without made up bs there to fluff the drama.

  47. Sounds like Your Mother is Not the Only problem here! Your Wife is a Liar! A manipulative one at that if she’s editing pictures to lie to an audience to get her way! You’re Not in the clear here! Are you sure your Mom is fully to blame for all of your Family issues? I’d be taking some time away from your wife too! This just reeks of toxicity! I would have called her ass out too! I really hope you both don’t have Children yet, so they don’t learn this type of behavior from either one of them. Op you need to set some boundaries because what your Wife did was Sick too! Good luck! -NTA

  48. “A little petty revenge”?!?? The way you present this it sounds like she thinks libel and public defamation is as benign as indulging in a bit of sweets while on a diet. That’s super effed up, man.

  49. NTA. She told a blatant lie that many people aside from yourself could have refuted. In fact I’m sure other people on her friend list have photos from the wedding if she’s maintained friendships. Wtf is up with your wife? Lying to get people on your side typically means your side isn’t really that defensible

  50. How’s his mom TA? We know literally nothing about why her and the wife do not get along. Frankly, this post makes it seem like it’s the wife’s problem.

  51. NTA. I don't know the background, but if this is typical of your wife, sounds like she may be as much of a problem as your mother. You aren't obligated to enable her bad behavior to "get back" at your mom.

  52. It’s not only hurt your mother but it really hurt you too. That would be a disgusting thing for most people. I’d be more mad about how she’s portraying you

  53. NTA. Your wife needs some therapy or something. Maybe your mom does too. Idk the whole situation, but your wife “wanted revenge”. If your mom was so toxic, I would think your wife would be overjoyed that y’all weren’t dealing with her anymore. It really sounds like she’s trying to start a war.

  54. NTA. Your wife lied and dragged you into it. Tell her that you gave her a chance. The only reason she’s humiliated is because she lied.

  55. NTA - She had no limit to win petty revenge. Her character is so low that she intentionally lied & threw you and MIL under the bus. Why does she expect you to take her side? What will be the next topic she cannot emotionally regulate that will scar others? IMO, she's more upset she got caught in her scheme. She expresses no remorse or insight on her actions. Best to you.

  56. NTA. What your wife did was gross and out of line with no thought of how it would affect you or the future when she could have been called out by someone else. They probably would not have been as gentle. She needs some counseling.

  57. NTA. Your wife was straight up lying. I might even go so far as to call it slander. It's unfortunate that she and your mother do not get along, but her actions were extremely uncalled-for. She lied to hurt someone else's reputation for something they didn't do, and at that point any humiliation she receives as a result of her lying is justified.

  58. NTA. If somebody sucks badly enough to go NC and post about it online, then you don't need to make up fake reasons that they suck. Your wife is out of her mind. Are you sure you picked the right one to cut off?

  59. NTA - but I was wondering how she though nobody would remember ? Loool I mean, your family and most of your friends probably were at the wedding/ see afterwards pictures. Was she thinking everyone is dumb and will play along ? Weird to me ! But hey why not ? Anyway you tryed to talk to her she don’t care about your feelings then act pikachu face when confronted. She is not pety she act like a lying child to say the least.

  60. NTA. She lied and made you look bad. Then she got caught up and now is making a fuss to push the blame on you.

  61. You know that you don't have to put your wife first. You need to find balance with your family (mother and wife both). There is a lot of disrespect and aggression being described here from all of you towards each other.

  62. NTA! She shouldn’t have lied, y’all had more than enough “dirt” on your mom that lying wasn’t necessary. Honestly she embarrassed herself because the lie, always comes out in the end.

  63. NTA for this BUT you have to make sure that you actually have the truth of everything and aren't taking your wife's word on anything.

  64. NTA. I'm sorry you have to go NC with your mom but honestly, sounds like maybe you should go NC with your wife? That's terrible behavior on her part. I think you made the right call.

  65. Considering the kind of outrageous lie with doctored photo evidence that your wife was willing post on social media, I’m going to be on your mom’s side here and assume that your wife has done a lot of other crappy stuff to ruin your relationship with your mom. This is not normal behaviour.

  66. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  67. NTA. She complete undermined herself when she decided to lie. It was probably obvious to many viewing (especially if they were at either wedding) so it brought her whole version of events into doubt. She's as bad as her MIL for not considering your part on what she was insinuating, especially after you told her your feelings

  68. NTA. Supporting your wife is one thing. Supporting a stupid, petty lie that’s sure to be found out anyway is something else.

  69. OP, I just saw your comment. You do realise that none of that behaviour is normal, right? And while you don't chose your mother, you chose to marry someone that insults and feeds your mother's bad behaviour. Plenty of women out there that wouldn't say foul things to their MIL, you chose one that does. This is on you.

  70. NTA. Not only was it a vicious and unnecessary lie, it also made you look like you had some kind of weird incestuous relationship with your mother. It’s one thing for your wife to want to tell her side of the story, but there’s no excuse for her to make you collateral damage in this, especially when it sounds like the truth was adequate justification for why she and your mother are no longer on speaking terms. Your wife was absolutely TA and deserved to get called out on it.

  71. NTA. Please rethink if this is someone worth destroying your relationship with your family of origin for. I can only imagine the smear campaign if you ever decide to leave her.

  72. Does your wife realize that half the people on her social media were probably at the wedding and will know she was lying? That would really make her look stupid to the people who are closest to you personally. What a dumb move on your wife's part.

  73. NTA. She was trying to humiliate you by making you look like a spineless mama's boy. She was defaming your mom. To me, that's a marriage-ending move on her part. I can't imagine someone who intends to stay married to you openly insulting you on social media with pure lies.

  74. NTA...1st shee should not have posted on Social media. Leaving your mom to say whatever to whoever. 2nd...your wife should not have lied by posting that picture. Now people will wonder if she is lying about other stuff. You were trying to be nice by correcting the post and she could have replied..whoops, you are right, i made a mistake. 3) you were siding with her by trying to expel her lie (fabrication) imto just a mistake.

  75. NTA for the specific situation you asked about, but you are absolutely an asshole for letting your wife bully your mom (even if your mom also became an asshole when she escalated).

  76. NTA. She humiliated you in her pursuit of petty revenge, publicly, and you asked her to take it down. She refused. And she had the audacity to be shocked that you would correct her claim on Facebook? She humiliated herself, and didn't consider your feelings at all. Honestly I think she deserves the humiliation. Your mom might be the jerk in the fights, but fighting dirty on social media isn't the way to go. Even if your wife was making a public statement setting the story straight for all to see, the fact that she posted a lie like that has invalidated anything she could ever say to anyone about her side of the story.

  77. NTA. If someone telling the truth makes you feel humiliated, the humiliation comes from your own behavior, not the person that called you out for being wrong.

  78. NTA. I don't know the context of the fighting, but based on this action alone, your wife is at least 50% of the problem. No reasonable, well adjusted person would do this.

  79. Hoping you went NC over stuff you saw her do and not based on your wife's words cause clearly she doesn't have anything against lying. Also this is immature af. A public smear compain built on lies on social media no less is stupid and honestly it was bound to bite her in the ass.

  80. NTA Although you should side with you wife, which you did, she shouldn't have acted that way, she made up details about the wedding. And you didn't side with your mom you're just stating a fact.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

News Reporter