1. NTA. All you did was tell your friend what happened. If the guy gets fired, thats on your friend, the restaurant owner.

  2. While I completely agree that the waiter had no business policing how OP was eating their meal (after all, many people choose not to use chopsticks at chinese restaurants, at least for some dishes) I think it would behoove OPs friend to inform new hires who are not of Indian descent that it is common in his culture to eat with their hands, even dishes for which that may seem unusual like Biryani. Typically no one balks at someone eating a samosa or naan with their hands, but I would be surprised to see an adult eating a rice dish with their hands. But that does explain the hot wet towels I've had handed out at Indian restaurants.....

  3. And it’s better for the feedback to come from a friend rather than a regular customer who could then give the restaurant a bad review. Word of mouth is everything in the restaurant business.

  4. I agree. And while I might ordinarily have thought a little education on the culture might be in order before firing someone, the waiter’s complete lack of common courtesy had nothing to do with misunderstanding OP’s culture.

  5. This. I've worked at restaurants and never would have said a word. I wouldn't care if a customer was eating spaghetti with their hands. If they weren't hurting anyone, it isn't my business.

  6. Absolutely. People tend to confuse “being an asshole” with literally just stating facts. If stating a fact makes someone look bad, maybe they did something wrong and actually should take accountability for once

  7. I mean, OP himself did try to educate the waiter on his cultural norms, the waiter refused to listen and was rude and racist. It seems like the waiter does not want to learn so it would be a better idea to fire him rather than educate him.

  8. Op was already more than nice and told him himself that what people in India do. It’s not his fault the waiter is a racist asshole and had to comment Eurocentric standards (even though sandwiches, burgers, burritos etc are eaten by hand).

  9. I would agree if the waiter didn't double-down and make that "unhygienic" comment. Once he went there, he lost all benefit of the doubt.

  10. i mean if you can’t use your head and think maybe i should keep my opinions to myself at a NEW job or idk not be stupid? if he needs education he can educate himself, no one needs to spoon feed him how not to be ignorant

  11. I agree with this, but he was incredibly rude. I think I would've given the waiter a stern talking to and a chance to explain. However if his attitude was not contrite and if he got defensive I would fire him.

  12. See the thing is tho that it’s not the job of Desi people to bend over backwards to educate people. OP went beyond their duty to explain that that is the traditional way to eat Indian food. The waiter doubled-down on their bigoted and incredibly rude response. They are not responsible for educating a person that has demonstrated they want to continue being disrespectful, educated about it or not. If OP’s friend wants to fire a waiter for being incredibly rude and disrespectful thats their right?

  13. NTA. The restaurant owner knows what sort of atmosphere he wants, and who he wants to serve, and you really, really helped him to not have a rogue employee drive away exactly the customers he wants to attract.

  14. All of this! Plus a non-Indian person working at an Indian restaurant should at the VERY LEAST have respect for the people and the culture, and the waiter doesn’t respect either so I don’t think he was deserving of employment there.

  15. How you eat your food is 100% your business, as long as you're not being disruptive and/or causing anyone any harm. And it sounds like you definitely weren't doing either. He can mind his own business.

  16. I agree it’s pretty common knowledge to eat with your hand in India and a bit surprising a waiter in an Indian restaurant didn’t know.

  17. He was 100% being racist. I'm white and for whatever reason, I just genuinely fond that waffles taste better if I eat with my hands. It drives my husband nuts but it's whatever. I've done this at multiple restaurants and I have never been called out.

  18. NTA. The waiter said something pretty damn ignorant. I would say some teaching about cultural norms would be in order but India is pretty diverse; does the waiter have a year or two? Haha As for the firing, that's the owner's prerogative. OP didn't "get him fired."

  19. It's hard to find good Indian food in the US, so I want to know too. Also, agree, OP is NTA. My husband's sister got me to eat my rice like that once, and it was tastier. But I wasn't used to it and it was a bit awkward for me, so I was quickly back to my fork lol.

  20. I'm getting a mental image of that scene from the end of Ratatouille where the critic gets all teary-eyed because the dish tastes just like his childhood.

  21. Hi. White as Hell Westerner here! NTA. Like. In any way, shape or form. The waiter was ignorant and rude— there was a chance for redemption there when you explained why you were eating with your hands, but instead he decided to be judgmental and disrespect your culture.

  22. Literally the other day I sat in a pub and ate cheese covered chicken tenders and chips with my hands. Same at McDonald’s and kfc and literally every other fast food chain. I don’t see how eating other foods is now uncivilised. Except, racism

  23. I am trying to remember the last time I was scolded for eating sushi with my hands and I can't remember ever being told it was unhygienic and uncivilised. Nope, it wasn't about the hands.

  24. NTA. You didn't try to get him fired, you reported a possible staff problem to your friend. It was your friend's decision to fire him instead of training him to expect that some customers may prefer to eat in a traditional way.

  25. NTA. It's an Indian restaurant for Pete's sake. How does he work at an Indian restaurant and not understand that a lot of people from India eat with their hands? Jeez.

  26. Sadly not everyone educates themselves on different cultures, nor sees the value in such and imo people like that should not be looking for employment at establishments of cultures they don’t care to understand and appreciate.

  27. NTA. I am a former waiter, so I was ready to be on the waiter's side. But a waiter should never insult a customer and should never tell a customer how to eat. I assume this waiter - in an Indian restaurant - might not be aware of the customs of Indian table manners, but the owner certainly can't afford to lose customers because of the waiter's ignorance. Had you not told the boss, the waiter may have alienated many customers. Those customers who are not friends of the owner would never come back.

  28. NTA. I lived in India for two years. I eat Indian food with my hands (ok, just the right hand) no matter where I am. I'd lose half my enjoyment immediately if I were required to use forks and spoons. Indian restaurants are some of the only places it's culturally accepted to eat with your hands. I would be FURIOUS if someone told me to use a spoon in an Indian restaurant. I would absolutely complain whether or not I knew the owner.

  29. It’s not even that Indian restaurants are one of the only acceptable places to eat food with your hands. Burgers, tacos, fries, hot dogs, cookies, and plenty of other foods are acceptable. This was 100% this waiter being racist.

  30. NTA. You weren't looking for revenge, you were just answering honestly. A person who is racist against the culture of the food he is serving has no business working in that restaurant.

  31. You're not the asshole. Maybe educating the waiter about the culture of the restaurant he was working at would have been a better idea, but that's the responsibility of the owner not you.

  32. I cannot stress how NTA you are, bud. Even if you were doing something kind of weird (and you absolutely were not) you were still quietly minding your own business and enjoying your meal. That dude had no business (aside from wanting to be shitty) getting on your case about it. If he’s gonna be racist enough to insult an Indian person for how they eat Indian food in an Indian restaurant then they richly deserve getting fired. Also, as plenty of other posters have stated, there’s plenty of foods people eat with their hands without giving it a second thought and it’s not his job to gatekeep which ones are acceptable and which are not.

  33. NTA - you didn’t ask for the waiter to be fired. He was in the wrong and shouldn’t have commented: even if you hadn’t washed your hands before eating, it would still be just you being unhygienic to yourself, so none of his business. Your friend is a bit harsh in firing him I think, and quite the AH for bringing in the word ‘racist’.

  34. NTA. I've seen Indians eat with their hands. Y'all do it very gracefully. It's pretty cool and I think it does make the food taste better :) Take pride in your heritage dude!

  35. NTA - People eat chicken wigs, burgers, pizza by had all the time. The waiter is a racist idiot. There is nothing wrong with eating food with your hand and your friend is absolutely right.

  36. NTA, Hispanic here and we eat with our hands sometimes too. If a waiter came up to me and told me the way I was eating my food with a tortilla was "unhygienic" then I would definitely be reporting them for that.

  37. NTA and how incredibly insulting that waiter was to you. You didn’t seek out a way to get this person fired, you answered your friend’s query with honesty and didn’t sound spiteful. I’m very sad this happened to you!

  38. NTA. Tacos, pizza, hamburgers sandwiches...the list of food we eat with our hands in America is long. Just because it wasn't none he was used to seeing doesn't justify his rudeness.

  39. If it's "unhygienic" to eat with your hands, I'm assuming the waiter you had always eats his burgers and sandwiches with a knife and fork, right? Or is it just "unhygienic" to eat with your hands if it's non-western food? NTA that waiter was being racist or ignorant of cultural norms at best. His behavior could be a major liability to your friend's restaurant considering their client base. You did nothing wrong.

  40. NTA, the waiter would have done more harm to the business. Most people eat with their hands at indian restaurants. Even white people do it for the experience. It doesn't make one way better than the other. If it were restaurant policy then I would understand but it wasn't

  41. NTA. Your friend is lucky you, a friend, told him what his employee said and not a stranger who might mention it in reviews or social media instead, potentially damaging the restaurants reputation. You did your friend a favour by telling them what happened.

  42. NTA you didn't do anything. The owner decided to fire this waiter based on his actions, extremely racist actions, that is, so not your issue, just a restaurant owner making sure the service in his place is up to his standards

  43. NTA- and not your decision to fire him either. Your friend asked about your experience and lying to him would only create more unhappy customers and would effect his business in the future. You did the right thing. Don’t feel bad. You are NoT the asshole!!

  44. NTA, what kind of waiter working in an Indian restaurant doesn’t know even a little about the culture? And also how is it his business how you eat your food. Your not throwing it at others or dumping it on the floor making a mess, your literally just not using utensils. Absolutely no need to approach you to begin with.

  45. NTA. He asked, you answered. You did not go out of your way to get this person fired. You didn’t even bring up him getting fired. Your friend did. And, he has every right to not want racist employees. You did nothing wrong.

  46. I'm not Indian and I'm sitting here reading this as I'm eating food with my hands. I just find it relaxing. I understand though how someone unfamiliar with Indian culture could be a little taken aback by it but that's no right to speak to a customer in this manner. So yeah, NTA.

  47. NTA South Asians eat with our hands, that’s just how it is. If the waiter wanted to be around people eating with cutlery he should work at a European restaurant.

  48. NTA. The waiter should have been told or at least looked into Indian culture if he was gonna work there because it’s so common to eat with your hands there. Nothing unhygienic about it. It was racist and the owner was right to get rid of the guy. It wasn’t his business to bother you while eating.

  49. The rude waiter wasnt even his server. Should've minded his own business. Working in an INDIAN restuarant... and you have NO IDEA that this is their cultures dining etiquette???

  50. NTA. You literally did nothing in this situation. Other than maybe help your friend from losing money by other customers being offended as well.

  51. NTA - the waiter made his own life harder by sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. Regardless of his preferences, he doesn’t get to decide that you’re eating wrong. Like…what if it was a chicken club sandwich?

  52. NTA. This guy was a racist and you told your friend that. I bet he doesn't have a problem eating pizza, chips, fries, sandwiches, etc. with his hands. He exclusively had a problem because you were eating Indian food with your hands, which is... gonna be a problem at an Indian restaurant.

  53. NTA. He doesn’t belong in an Indian restaurant. I’m glad you had a meal that tasted like home. It’s hard to be so far away. NTA.

  54. NTA he was fine with asking if your silverware was dirty and you needed another but once you explained yourself, he should’ve just left it at that. It’s really not his business and Indian food is better eaten with your hands. There’s a really nice restaurant by my house that doesn’t even serve silverware with their food, you can ask for it but like it’s known you eat it with your hands. It was the owners decision to fire him, as the server is a liability if he wants to butt into peoples business. Enjoy your food!

  55. I’m sure the waiter wouldn’t tell somebody eating chicken wings in a restaurant they were being unhygienic and uncivilised. This was more than him being rude, it had racist connotations.

  56. NTA. You weren't feeding HIM, or anyone else, with your hands, so he can entirely mind his own business. If he can't? Losing his job is the consequence.

  57. It is definitely worth firing someone over. He works at an authentic Indian restaurant & is disgusted by how authentic Indian people eat? No. He can go work in American cuisine. NTA.

  58. NTA. Does he eat everything with utensils, including pizza, French fries, burgers, chicken wings? So long as you're not making a mess or being a spectacle, then how you eat is your own business

  59. NTA. I would think if you worked in an Indian restaurant you might find out that this cultural norm exists in South Asian countries among others. Very racist and more notably very rude in how he chose to express it to a costumer. We're also not talking about a topless shoeless costumer we're talking about how a costumer chose to eat the food they paid for in a manner comfortable for them. Would they knock the straw out of a wine glass being used by someone who has difficulty lifting cups? Definitely deserved to be fired for that alone.

  60. NTA: When you state exactly what the worker did and the employee finds it proper to fire that employee; it's the employee's actions that got him fired.

  61. “Since service workers have very hard jobs anyways and there’s no need to make their lives harder” yeah but… you didn’t make his life harder… HE did by caring so much about how someone else wants to eat their food. When I was a server I couldn’t be fucked to care about what utensils (or lack there of) someone was using, unless they were like throwing food all over the floor or something lol. He should have minded his damn business. NTA.

  62. NTA. Servers don't get to police how you eat, especially if he's trying to make you stop a cultural practice.

  63. NTA the waiter was rude an extremely ignorant. Your friend made the right decision by letting him go. Clearly, this wasn't the place for him.

  64. NTA. Given the context, he absolutely should NOT be working there. This is clearly something that is very likely to be a common occurrence in this restaurant, and for that guy to have that attitude, even after explaining the difference between American and Indian cultures, then it’s almost guaranteed that he would go on to offend more customers and could do some damage to that restaurants business. Now if this were, say, Olive Garden or Denny’s or something, then no, the firing would not be warranted as this would have been guaranteed to be an isolated experience/incident. In that case I would say don’t tip the guy and maybe tell the dude to pull his head out of his ass, but not get him fired.

  65. NTA - a serves shouldn't judge the way someone eats. Also, never feel bad for being there when the consequences of a racist's actions catch up with them.

  66. If someone is going to be a waiter at an Indian restaurant they should be aware of the traditional way Indian food is sometimes consumed. NTA I’m sure you saved your friend some angry future customers.

  67. NTA obvs but always funny to me how the people who happily eat hamburgers and pizza with their bare hands are the first ones to scream “unhygienic” when people of other cultures eat their dishes with their hands too. it literally does not make sense at all why that would be unhygienic unless you don’t wash your hands before you eat, which I assume is a reflex for everyone regardless of whether you’re eating with your hands or not.

  68. I was really prepared for you to be the AH here, but you’re 100% NTA. Your friend did this kid a favor by firing him and teaching him this lesson, and protected his business at the same time, all while being a good friend to you. Your friend sounds great and I hope having him makes your transition here easier. Welcome to US! Sorry about that waiter.

  69. You didn't fire the guy. That wasn't up to you. What is it with all these folks trying to take responsibility or assign responsibility for other people's actions? You didn't make the guy be an ass, you didn't make your friend ask about your experience, you were honest, and you didn't make your friend fire the guy. NTA

  70. NTA. The waiter was racist do they eat pizza and sandwiches with utensils too. I bet not. So ridiculous. I dont understand why people cant mind their business...oh wait they are racist so they can't. Also your friend is not a friend.

  71. NTA. You gave an honest account of your experience with that worker and the owner decided that their behaviour was not in line with his expectations of his staff. That’s not on you.

  72. NTA I’m arab we also eat rice with our hands and if someone calls me dirty / unhygienic I’d raise hell. This your culture and the place supports it as well.

  73. That man was racist. Let’s not water it down. Call a micro-aggression exactly what it is. You are NTA. And someone like that should not be serving people food!

  74. NTA. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were asked about your experience and responded accordingly. A waiter shouldn’t be so judgmental. I use to bartend and if I was so brazen to insult every patron I had, I’d have been fired, too. Lol

  75. NTA WTF Before I could finish reading, I went oh hell no because some food in various cultures are meant to be eaten with hands???? Waiter was out of line. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

  76. NTA. All you did was tell your friend about the experience. If the waiter gets fired for his own mistakes, thats on him, its not on you to cover his racist ass.

  77. NTA. I was a white server in an Indian restaurant. I ate with my hands myself! I would NEVER say anything like that to anyone, even if it was a Western restaurant. That’s racist and rude as hell.

  78. NTA - that server was ignorant and uninformed. I have many Indian friends who taught me to eat my food with my hands — whether it was with my bare hands or chapati. I don't get why people feel they need to comment on these things.

  79. NTA. You simply told your friend what happened. He has a business owner then chose to make a decision to protect his livelihood.

  80. NTA. If the owner doesn’t know how things are going,the restaurant will close and nobody has a job. Calling you names got the guy fired.

  81. NTA, this waiter could ruin the reputation of your friends business and, as he is the owner, is his decision if it's an offense worth firing someone over

  82. NTA. If the waiter's dumb enough (lol dumbwaiter) to not be at least a little conversant with culture before they go to work at an INDIAN restaurant they deserve to be fired for incompetence, let alone treating a finer like that.

  83. NTA. The person deserves to be fired. Ignorance about cultural differences can be remedied quickly, but lack of tact or compassion is a character flaw. They don't belong in the service industry.

  84. Nta. You didn't ASK him to fire the waiter. You just told the truth about a racist, micro aggression against you. Waiter who doesn't understand ir respect Indian culture should NOT be working at an Indian restaurant.

  85. Nta that was super racist and not the last time he will see that in the restaurant, he picked the wrong place to work with his prejudices

  86. NTA. It was wrong of him to pass judgement, especially verbally, in that way. Also rice does taste 10x better eating with your hand than with a spoon. Would this person not eat pizza, burgers, chips/fries, chicken wings, chocolate or cookies with their hands?

  87. It absolutely is something that warrants firing. If a food is meant to be eaten with hands then it should be expected and accepted at a restaurant. Just like asian places offer chopsticks, but you don't have to use them, or pizza places are totally fine with you eating with your hands!

  88. NTA. It’s an Indian restaurant, Indian people eat with their hands simple as that. Fuck the waiter.

  89. …who goes to a culture based restaurant and insults the way you are suppose to eat the food. NTA, esp if in the states, simply because the waiter is suppose to work for tips. The boy prob ain’t cut out for that type of work.

  90. NTA I owned a restaurant and 90% of my customers ate with their hands. Americans eat a lot of food with their hands. The waiter was being a racist butthead.

  91. NTA. As a former server (just left in January), I can tell you watching people eat is an absolute trip, but not in a thousand years would I approach ANOTHER SERVER'S TABLE to critique the customer.

  92. NTA. I’m Indian and biriyani does taste better when eaten by hand. It’s incredibly insulting to be told you can’t practice your culture. Your friend isn’t Indian so they didn’t understand. Explain it to them like coming up to someone eating pizza with their hands and telling them to use a fork and knife. Then they’ll get it.

  93. NTA. how do you work at an Indian restaurant and tell actual Indian people they’re eating their own food wrong? That waiter was in the wrong.

  94. nta, your friend shouldn't employ racist people and that waiter shouldn't work where he serves people he looks down upon.

  95. NTA Plus I hate the narrative that service workers have it so hard you should give them a break. It’s true but that should be for things like them taking a bit of time to bring a sauce out or something. Not being straight up racist

  96. Right, and Americans never eat with their hands, except for a billion hamburgers, pizzas, a trillion pieces of fried chicken, uncountable chips, popcorn, granola bars, chex mix, sunflower seeds, etc. Etc. Etc.

  97. NTA! I don’t think I’ve ever been to an Indian restaurant where most ppl aren’t eating with their hands. I mean most authentic or home style spots have a hand wash for this reason.

  98. NTA. When I lived in hawaii most rice dishes were eaten with our hands. It’s fine. That waiter was out of line

  99. Serving food is not hard to do.. taking plates of food to someone is not hard to do. Minding your own fucking buisness is not hard to do. Well deserved. It doesn’t matter how you eat your food.. ESPECIALLY in the cultural climate of said restaurant. Clearly he didn’t belong there. NTA

  100. NTA, many people eat finger foods with fingers and it's not any different from eating with your hands... AND fingers were created before forks and spoons and even sporks... Your friend had every right to fire that guy because as hard as their jobs might be it doesn't give them a free pass to insult anyone. Things could have gotten worse over time which your friend could have been sued for. Our employees represent the company and they are required to act a certain way and not to tell anyone how to eat.

  101. Nta. Everyone at the local Indian place I go to eats with their hands. It's delicious to use the naan and make rice and curry naan tacos. Can't do that with a fork.

  102. NTA; If I was that server, I'd only check in on them asking if everything was alright, if nothing was said about the cutlery, then i'd go about my shift. Even if it wasn't Indian food. I honestly would just be kinda O_o, but at the end of the day if you're not wiping your hands all over the furniture, why should i care

  103. NTA, people eat with their hands all over the world! Yes, it’s not seen as much with certain foods in North America but that doesn’t mean it’s unhygienic to do so. It would have cost the waiter nothing to mind his own business.

  104. NTA. That was a decision the owner made. You were being honest. And to be honest, the waiter may have been new but should have researched the type of restaurant he was going to work. So this would have not been strange.

  105. Nta you're hardly the only culture that eats with your hands plus Americans do it all the time with other food so he's being a hypocrite on top of racist. You did nothing wrong.

  106. what he did was kinda racist and your friend is looking out for his place. he doesn't need other clients getting offended by said waiter.

  107. NTA. The waiter was, not you. Your friend might be jumping the gun. It is possible that the waiter did not understand your culture, and if educated / trained would not be a problem in the future. That said, it is your friends restaurant and his decision. You did not "get the waiter fired" And if it is any comfort, if it was my restaurant, I would have fired him and I would be thrilled that you told me about the incident.

  108. NTA that waiter sucks, people here in the US have been eating greens and cornbread together with their hands for generations, myself included occasionally and it really does make it taste better, gotta be some science in there

  109. Yeah no the waiter Was a dick I'm as bogan Australian as they come and I love me some good Indian food and you better believe I'm going to sit there and eat it with my hands and anyone who wants to tell me otherwise can fuck off

  110. I kind of agree with your friend but I’m not going to cry about someone who’s such a dick getting fired. NTA

  111. NTA. Even supposing a hypothetical diner was eating soup after they poured it in their shoe… the waiter has no business policing how the client chooses to consume their food.

  112. NTA you told your friend the truth when he asked you about your experience and he then acted how he saw fit as a business owner.

  113. Idk man I don’t think he should be talking to people like that. Think about it: you paid to eat there and have a nice, calm, relaxed and enjoyable experience. You PAID for that experience. And he sort of pooped on it. In a racist and culturally insensitive way.

  114. NTA. Consequences of their own actions. You did your friend a big favor. Having a waiter like that could drive away a lot of his customers before he is able to figure out why his business is losing money!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

News Reporter