1. YTA for making your best friend’s wedding about yourself. Have you considered working with a therapist to figure out why this is impacting you in such a major way?

  2. As soon as I read the title I couldn’t even believe it - OP made the whole thing about them. On the day of her friends wedding, she made the whole thing about about her! Wow!!

  3. Yes OP is the total AH. She made her BFF wedding day all about how she felt. She really need to grow the hell up and get some help. She needs to stop saying she is your bff bc OP totally ruined that relationship.

  4. OP is very naive if she thinks that the reason they grew apart is the new husband. If her bff (lol) has any sense, she started distancing herself because OP is a major asshole.

  5. I don't see that friendship as being a healthy one. Friends come and go and it sucks to lose a good one but to do something like that? Sounds like op expected to be the center of her friends universe and had to tell the world how upset she was that that was no longer the case.

  6. This. OP needs to get into therapy. She had several options, not come to the wedding, not give a speech, or end the friendship. She chose none of those options. Instead, she decided to ruin her BF's wedding. Making the kind of speech you'd expect from an angry teenager whose parents are getting remarried. OP needs therapy and to stay away from her friend. Although I'm sure their friendship is over now and all her other friends are adding her to a "Do Not Invite," list for their weddings.

  7. Ohhhhh they way I just groaned when I started reading this. Way to make it all about you, OP. Sounds like you will def be mourning the loss of that friendship after your speech. Not the time or the place and you shouldn’t have been MOH if that was how you were going to act. Yeeeesh. You owe your bride friend an apology and then I wouldn’t expect anything back.

  8. I used to have a friend like OP. She constantly made everything about herself and blamed her friends for her problems. If she was sad, it was because I wasn't giving her enough support. If she was happy, it was all about her and no-one else was allowed to feel differently.

  9. Girl what?! Total YTA. I absolutely hated my (now former) best friend’s husband and was super unhappy they got married. I expressed those feelings long before the wedding and then just sucked it up. My MOH speech was great, people came up and told me how awesome it was, and I then just moved on. I accepted that our friendship would never be the same and we’ve long since grown apart. Sometimes friendships just fade but at least I can say I honored my friend as her MOH. What you did was insanely selfish.

  10. Have never understood "I'm just being honest" as a reason to say something. If I see someone in the street I think is ugly, would my honesty justify running up to them and saying so?

  11. Yes, YTA. You were brutally honest but I think you wanted more of the brutal rather than the honest else you would have talked to your friend about it before or just after the wedding. You wanted that pain out there and raw.

  12. Exactly. Jfc, how self centered can OP be? She ruined someone else's day bc she's so incapable of accepting that she wasn't the center of their world. I hope the bride never speaks to them again.

  13. The bride may be OP’s best friend, but it’s obvious she is not the bride’s best friend. A friend would never do that to their friend. A friend is sad about the change, but also is happy for their friend’s happiness. OP is a lousy friend.

  14. Yeah YTA, a giant A. Get over yourself. It’s been seven years and things change when you are committed to someone that long. I got angry reading your message, I’m angry for her. You made things uncomfortable for her on her wedding day and then proceeded to make the next two days about you (when she’s on her honeymoon) if I were her husband I would feel uncomfortable because it would sound like you don’t like him.

  15. Imagine how annoying and self centered this woman has to be to make her best friend's wedding all about her. It hurt reading that, I can't imagine what it was like being in that room.

  16. I moved to a new state because after 8 years somewhere, I just needed a change of scenery. I loved where I lived, but it was so monotonous. My partner got an amazing job offer in a different state, so it was kismet. My (former) best friend guilted me so hard about it. She told me how she spends most therapy sessions talking about how she feels like I’m abandoning her, makes me feel terrible for not texting her every day and immediately responding, telling me that since I left that I’m the one that has to set up weekly video calls (I have no meetings during the week, she has like 100. But still refuses to have any preferences on day of the week or time of day. Which means I picked a random time and she’s skipped all but 3 over the last year).

  17. Yes. Not just the A. But OP doesnt realise this isn't just a potentially bad thing she did. This a friendship ending event. It is such appalling bad behaviour that it would be astonishing if her friend ever spoke to her again.

  18. Oh yeah, that friendship is absolutely over, and I'd bet she's going to lose a few mutual friends and invites to other events too. Knowing only what's written in this post, if I were a mutual friend, I'd never speak to her again either.

  19. After OP's rambling, I hope the best friend will cut her off permanently. Imagine your "best friend" said something like this in what's supposed to be the happiest day of your life? Way too much drama and toxicity.

  20. God. that made me angry too. My best friend is getting married in a month. Obviously our relationship has changed, because we now live an hour away from each othee and she has a full time job on top of living with her fiance and a new dog. Am I butthurt? Hell no. I'm so proud of her for how she's become a great person and successful and I'm so happy she is with someone who loves her and wants to have a family with her. I acknowledge that he is now her best friend, because he SHOULD be. I'm going to bawl like a baby when I give my MOH speech.

  21. Jesus….are you actually out of your mind??? You a speech talking about how miserable you were that your friend was getting married AT HER OWN WEDDING??

  22. Hopefully the bride and groom are chill and have a good sense of humor because ten years from now they might be able to look back and laugh at the absurdity. “Can you believe I trusted her as MOH? Gosh I was an idiot for that lol”. I can’t imagine how disappointing it was on that day, but it can make a funny story/bonding moment for them (bride and groom, not MOH) once they’re a bit removed from the wedding.

  23. "it would be a shame of me to get up there and lie about how happy and excited I am. I said I'm not happy but regardless I have to suck it up and congratulate the happy couple."

  24. It is baffling how many people think they can get away with being a massive AH by saying “I was just being honest” and that they think people should respect that 🙄

  25. I would bet that most of her guests are going to remember that toast and almost nothing else about the wedding in a few years. Big Off. Major YTA

  26. I would never forgive my best friend if she pulled a stunt like this. YTA and you made damn sure your relationship with her has irrevocably changed forever.

  27. I'm shocked she had the balls to stay after making a speech like that. I would have made her leave if it were my wedding!

  28. I’m willing to bet this wasn’t the first instance of this behaviour, that it’s part of the reason the friendship started to break down and letting OP be MOH took an enormous amount of trust from the bride.

  29. YTA WTF how could you possibly be this clueless? Your crying was inappropriate, your resentment is alarming, your speech shows your inability to consider anyone but yourself, and your friendship is over. Being honest about being a terrible, selfish person still makes you an asshole.

  30. OP sounds like she's mentally about 15 years old. Just the intense self-absorption, lack of emotionally regulation, hyperfixation on her "bff". They probably started being friends as kids and OP just...never grew up.

  31. I had to give a Best Man speech at my brother's wedding and went looking for advice articles, and over and over the common advice they all had was a reminder that only 50% of the room knows the groom, and, if you're lucky, know you. If you're a best friend more like 5% of the room could know who you are, and maybe as few as a literal handful of people.

  32. YTA. Your former bff will probably not be your friend in any capacity going forward. Any mutual friends who were there now know that you are a completely selfish person who only cares about how things affect them and not about anyone else AND that you are willing to do it publicly. Everyone at that wedding feels intensely sorry for the bride and groom for having such a “friend”. Literally no one admires the adult tantrum disguised as “honesty” at your supposedly best friend’s wedding. A speech that went “she’s mine and I don’t want to share and it’s not fair that she’s spending time with HIM and not ME”. Wow that is embarrassing.

  33. Yta - your upset that your not number 1 priority in your best friends life anymore and you decide that the best way to portray this is on her wedding day. I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and say your single and the reason your upset it’s because come the weekend your all alone watching Netflix with nothing to do and you want to do something but your best friend is busy with her husband and you feel he’s taken her away from you when all you’ve now done is push her further away from wanting to spend time with you. When you could of just said to her any day why don’t we spend as much time together just us two.

  34. YTA. Wow you’re the ultimate AH. You had a lifelong friendship in front of you and pissed it all away because you think the world revolves around you.

  35. YTA you made her wedding about you and your feelings. Had you told her all that privately it would be one thing. To make a speech about how you aren’t happy is vile.

  36. She probably knew that telling her bff before the wedding in private would just get her uninvited to avoid a tantrum/scene like this.

  37. Honestly this seems less like unrequited love and more like an actual personality disorder. I sincerely hope OP takes the advice of many commenters and starts working with a therapist.

  38. YTA. You sound completely deranged and obsessed with your friend. You made her wedding day about you, in the most unhinged way possible. I would never talk to you again.

  39. Yeah OP is seriously mentally ill it sounds like. Sick, and vile too. They deserve to lose all their mutual friends with the bride over this.

  40. YTA. YT Major A. You basically ruined her wedding over your selfishness. And now you've lost a friend. You need to work with a professional on this unhealthy obsession you have with a particular person. If I were the bride I'd never speak to you again.

  41. I’ve started to suspect that most if not all of the top posts here are fake, and posted to generate comments to make a buzzfeed article. The posts are always so over the top, and then a day or two later, there’s the list with all of the top comments of outrage showing up in my news feeds.

  42. That’s not your BFF anymore. Never will be again. YTA and a selfish crazy one at that. Who is that horribly selfish. I think this tops the AH charts. That woman should never say another word to you. What kind of entitled child are you???

  43. YTA - what the actual fuck. You’re one of the most self centered individuals I’ve seen on here. You seriously thought you owed it to her and her wedding day to be “honest” and make the entire event about your little friendship rather than just shutting up and congratulating them so they can enjoy THEIR day, and what should be one of the happiest ever. You’re delusional and should be incredibly ashamed. You will be lucky if you ever hang out with her again, you really shot yourself in the foot there. I would NEVER speak to someone who pulled a stunt like that at my wedding again. It’s only marginally better than objecting at the ceremony itself..

  44. Is it better though, really? I mean at least objecting during the ceremony would have been in the appropriate, allotted time slot for this activity LOL

  45. There are 364 other days in the year OP could have chosen to make this anguished declaration and she picked the absolute worst one of the whole year. YTA.

  46. Her wedding was not the appropriate venue to satisfy your need to be honest. It was a wedding reception, not your therapists office.

  47. YTA you ruined her reception and made it all about yourself. You have a right to your feelings but you expressed them in an asshole manor to try to and embarrass your friend. What did you honestly hope to accomplish by “speaking your truth?” I hope she doesn’t talk to you again.

  48. Right? Why are people always hiding behind the whole “bUt iM jUsT bEiNg HoNeSt” bs to excuse when they’re an asshole. Not everything needs to be said out loud.

  49. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read

  50. Yes, YTA. You are absolutely the asshole. You should have turned down the honor she gave you because you clearly have none. You should have addressed this with her, in private, AT LITERALLY ANY OTHER TIME THEN HER WEDDING DAY. Now you've ruined what is supposed to be the happiest day of her life, ON FRONT OF HER FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND NEW FAMILY, and I'm sure she paid a lot of money for it too. I'm not sure I'd forgive my bestie for doing something like that, even if she sincerely and profusely apologized.

  51. OP mentioned in another comment they are in therapy for co dependency and their therapist told them to make peace with their feelings rather than sucking them up. Idk why they decided a wedding was the best time to “make peace.”

  52. Please, please, please admit that this is fake, otherwise you are one of the most selfish and oblivious people that I’ve seen in some time.

  53. Holy — you hijacked your best friend’s wedding. You clearly don’t care about them. Just that you can have them to be there for your needs. YTA and your friend probably should’ve dropped you long before the wedding.

  54. YTA- I know it’s hard when you feel like you are losing a friend and you have the right to express that to her, but not on her wedding day and certainly not in a MOH speech in front of everyone. you tried to spoil the day and I don’t blame the groom for feeling uncomfortable. When you find someone who is the one for you and if you choose to get married imaging the best man or MOH using their speech to basically say you stole their best friend and make it about them?…. Would be very awkward and very public and NOT OK. that day wasn’t about you, it was about your friend and being happy that she found someone who she loves and treats her right, you should be able to be happy for her

  55. YTA. In another post you say you're seeing a therapist but I doubt that b/c this is not codependency. This is narcissistic personality or borderline personality. GET A LICENSED THERAPIST.

  56. Thank you - I see so many posts like this where many comments allude to "secret gay/bi/sapphic torch" when the behavior clearly screams "I have abandonment issues and unstable relationships". This just seems like straight up BPD/NPD.

  57. YTA. Of course you are. Everything everyone else has said IRL is true. You centred yourself on your best friend’s wedding day and you are trying to mask that selfishness (and rudeness) as “honesty”. Shame on you.

  58. Ugh she's one of those people who say hurtful and mean things. God forbid, if you say anything she probably responds with, shes "just be honest!"

  59. Sadly, YTA. This could’ve been a private conversation. You chose what should be the happiest day of one’s life to confront your friend publicly about what? Following the natural course of adulthood when you commit your life to someone and have less time for friends and fun? You said yourself that priorities change, as they should when you grow older. This was a horrible thing to do to someone you consider your best friend, you served only your own interests, and she will never get a “do-over” day to celebrate her love.

  60. I wish I could be surprised that you don’t realize YTA, but considering how self centered you are it makes sense that you have no self awareness either.

  61. YTA. Was her wedding really the time to tell everyone you are mourning the loss of your friendship as you knew it? God, you are selfish and self righteous. You have masked honesty for making the wedding all about you. I would have been furious. No wonder everyone gave you looks. If I were your friend, our friendship would be over!

  62. YTA. I was waiting for something to indicate he was abusive or something, but you’re really just selfish. You thought your friendship was ending? Do you know what a self-fulfilling prophesy is?

  63. YTA and you were never really her friend to begin with obviously. I wouldn't blame her for never speaking to you again. What you did was horrible, selfish and narcissistic. You ruined your friendship over your selfishness. How you can live with being so hateful to her is beyond me. You should feel nothing but the absolute deepest shame at your horrific behavior.

  64. You really need to understand that not everything is for/about you. Sometimes in life you put on a happy face (even if it's a mask) and let someone else have the spotlight.

  65. Sorted by controversial because I figured someone had to be contrary with this because someone always is, but the only downvoted comment is from somebody who accidentally typed the wrong judgement. You know YTA when even the trolls don't come out to your defense. I've been witness to a couple pretty terrible wedding speeches, including one that made the bride and all the bridesmaids angry cry, but wow this one had to have been the absolute worst.

  66. YTA, no doubt about it, you completely made it about youand not the celebration of the union of two people.

  67. GIRL. You are definitely the asshole. How you acted (not just the speech but sobbing the whole day) is self centered and audacious af. As the Maid of Honor you wholeheartedly failed. Your job was to support the bride on her wedding day. You lack self-reflection but it's a good thing you posted here. Work harder on yourself.

  68. To be clear, this isn't about your friend being in an abusive relationship? You're not worried about her safety? Or that this guy isn't treating her well?

  69. Info: do you feel bad at all? Be honest do you feel bad for your friend and the fact that you ruined her wedding or do you feel somehow justified in the name of "honesty"? Because in this entire post not once do you talk about feeling bad for her or feeling remorse. You just keep talking as if you are somehow justified and like you're expecting us to validate you and its clearly not working. Maybe you're completely blindsided by your issues that you haven't even considered your friends feelings or maybe you're just selfish. Either way I'd talk about your lack of empathy and remorse with your therapist.

  70. Selfish is exactly right. You are so supremely focused on your own feelings and wants that you don’t give a second’s thought to hers. This is probably the only wedding this couple will have, possibly the only wedding your BFF will ever have, and you chose to make it about you and how you feel entitled to be your friend’s priority. This, even though you clearly know you’re in the wrong as per your own preface.

  71. Wow YTA. They’re right, you are selfish. You made her special day about yourself. That was not the time or the place to say those things. Why would you think that was appropriate?Congrats on losing your friend for good. Get some therapy.

  72. Quick question, are you in love with your friend? It’s not normal to be this jealous over a friendship. Friendships change as you get older and that is normal.

  73. YTA. Of course you are. You know you are. How could you possibly think that that kind of behaviour is justified? You need serious therapy if you think doing something like that is normal or appropriate. You should never have agreed to be maid of honour; you are a terrible, selfish friend. If it were my reception, I’d have thrown you out.

  74. YTA. You probably launched that friendship directly into the heart of the sun to disintegrate forever and ever, never to exist again.

  75. YTA. Their wedding is NOT the venue to confront them about your hurt feelings. You should have taken her or both of them aside WAY before. You most likely have lost a friend, and as a bonus, everyone at the wedding KNOWS you are the AH. Only person that hasn’t come to that conclusion yet is you.

  76. “I threw a tantrum and made a rude, self-centered speech at my best friend’s wedding, then refused to apologize. AITA tho??”

  77. YTA. You missed the point of the speech, being the MOH, and being a best friend. Honesty is not always the best policy, and now you know why (hopefully). I’m not sure your relationship with your ex-BFF can (or should) overcome this.

  78. YTA. She made the right choice distancing herself from your friendship. Clearly your obsessed with her and jealous she has a life and a husband who loves her. You basically disrespected their relationship. Your whole speech was attention seeking. If I was the bride I would of had you dragged out my wedding.

  79. YTA. The place to do this was in a conversation directly with her, not in a speech on a day that was supposed to be about how happy they made each other. You weren't TA for being honest about how you felt, you were TA for when and how you went about it.

  80. Wtf, YTA. Why would you ruin someone (especially your bff)’s special day like that? That day will never ever come back and you traumatised her and her husband too… You’re being very unreasonable and selfish.

  81. YTA. I am going to try and say this gently because you clearly have some issues that you are trying to work through, but man you did it good here. You no longer have your best friend. Period. Any hope you had of “getting things back to how they were” is gone. She was right - friendships change. I went from seeing one of my ride or die friends every day to know we get to meet for lunch once a month or so, sometimes less. Having a true friend and being a true friend to someone means you can take those more infrequent visits and pick up like it was yesterday. You have other things in life now and you change. And if you don’t that’s a whole other issue to talk about in therapy. If you want to keep any friends you have in your life, time to take a break and focus inward and work on you. ASAP

  82. YTA. I'm not sure why you claim to care about your friend and then proceed to try and ruin her reception with your jealousy. Pretty sure the friendship is over.

  83. YTA what exactly was the purpose of that? I was waiting for a punchline. Speeches are for congratulating the couple, entertaining the audience with quips about the bride or couple and showing good feelings to them, maybe a few jokes. It sounds like you just vented. She was right, it was not the time.

  84. YTA. Not only did you ruin a special day, but you then proceeded to try to contact her after. How are you so obtuse? You alienated every single person that was there. The backlash is going to extend for a long time. You only have yourself to blame. No one but you can control your own actions. You have irrevocably destroyed what would have been one of their happiest memories. I can only hope this is a troll post. What a miserable person you are.

  85. Sorry, but you’re a giant insufferable asshole, an an immature twit. That was a conversation to have with your former BFF before the wedding. She trusted you to do a task, give a MOH speech celebrating her, and a person you call “lovely”, and you made it all about yourself. YTA

  86. YTA. You literally picked the worst possible time to be "honest". Their wedding was not about you or your petty feelings. You put a huge damper on their special day out of jealousy. Unreal. Grow up.

  87. YTA. Holy crap OP. How selfish are you that you made that moment about you. This wasn’t the time for a therapy session. The purpose and focus of the speech is to talk about the couple, not for you to unload all your baggage. If I was bff I would cut you off entirely. You poisoned the entire reception.

  88. YTA YTA YTA and NOT a good friend. You admitted yourself that it’s normal for relationships to change friendships. If you were a good friend you’d be happy that your best friend found someone who loves them enough to make this commitment and wants to take care of them.

  89. This is such a perfect example of emotional entitlement and immaturity that so many people like to say is “just me being honest”. Your feelings are YOUR BAGGAGE, all about you, and you dumped them on your supposed best friend at one of the most important events of her life.

  90. YTA and you just nuked your relationship with your friend. There is no recovering from this. Your friendship, if it continues at all, was never going to go back to the way it was before her husband, and now it will never be the same as it was pre-wedding.

  91. YTA - I hope she has a happy life with her husband. It was not the time nor the place, and it made you look like an immature and emotionally imbalanced child. It may have been your honest feelings, but we don't need to be honest in speeches at wedding receptions. You say something nice and sit the eff down. You're acting childish anyway. Not everything is about you. The world does not revolve around you.

  92. YTA hell no if that was me I would have told you to GTFO out of my wedding and block you from my life. What is wrong with you , you ruined her special day beaucse your jealous she is happy with someone else. You need to look at yourself and think about what you have done. You may have lost your friend forever over this

  93. YTA it wasn't about you. You had ample opportunity to talk about it before then and you just wanted to be vindicated and make it all about you.

  94. Wow. Yes YTA. You decided to air your grievances to everyone at your former BFF's wedding, your assholness is clear to anyone that witnessed that travesty of a speech. Don't even try to talk to your friend about it either, you took a day that was about her and her husband and made it about you.

  95. YTA. Me me me. Life isn't about you. It was her wedding, about her relationship, and you used a role given to you with trust and affection to ruin the reception.

  96. YTA, look I understand how you feel 10000% I do, but that fact is you're so selfish, what you did is childish.. It's not about you, it's about your bestfriend, the fact you cannot see past your nose and your own feelings, girl you got a lot of growing up to do and find yourself and esp at her wedding you chose air out your feelings Thats YTA x2

  97. You had so many opportunities to talk to her about this. You had precisely 7 years to share your fears with her. How could you do this to your friend? You need to spend some time reflecting on what kind of friend you've been and what kind of friend you need to be going forward.

  98. You’re so immature and self absorbed. So not only did you make their wedding about the detrimental impact their relationship has had on you, you haven’t shown any remorse because like a 15 year old would say “I’m being honest” and then, cherry on top, you continue to hassle her via phone when she’s probably trying to relish in newlywed life.

  99. YTA. How can you not realize that that wasn't the time or the place? You just had to have a pity party at a wedding? Those people spent money and time to plan a happy day with their family and friends, and all you could to was think about yourself.

  100. ....so as maid of honor, you gave a speech about how her husband stole her from you, even though you admit he's amazing for her? And you're on here asking if you're in the right? Really?

  101. YTA that wasn’t the appropriate time nor place. If you love and respect her you’d have given her the wedding day she thought she’d get, instead of poisoning the well. What an awful and selfish thing to do. Just because you were being honest does not mean you get to abandon being considerate and responsible. She put her trust in you and you betrayed her.

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