1. Daughter by Pearl Jam: "don't call me daughter, your not fit to"

  2. I think Kobeni's devil is a fear of the unexpected or surprises because she did the unexpected and also surprisingly survived

  3. I also think she has a knife to follow the idiom of bringing a knife to a gun fight - the gun devil

  4. I just got diagnosed on Monday and I thought I'd be extatic but I have this weird grief feeling I think from being right this whole time and nobody listening to me.

  5. I have been trying to work it out and I think it's because the chainsaw completely replaced the use of the handsaw, so therefore applies to the ability to completely remove a devil and replace it with themselves

  6. I have this going on with my Dad too so I have a lot of empathy for everyone here sharing, I recognised that Dad must secretly want me to have these strong boundaries with him (?) and to be unaffected by him because as soon as I start to mask and fall for his shit again he starts to look very upset, like I've lost his respect (like I'm the parent?). I think npd parents are trying to recreate the environment they needed when they were kids where everyone else sets the boundaries for them and they just react to it. So now when I talk with him I try to be as aloof as possible and is still a work in progress.

  7. That’s a really good way to look at it & point made. That’s how I’ve learned to best react to my moms tactics is by acting aloof, ignoring it/her tantrums and acting unaffected or unaware. It can be tiring though having to almost parent her & walking on egg shells & having essentially a fake relationship with her to keep the peace since she’s so manipulative and loves throwing everyone at any moment under the bus

  8. I'm glad to hear it's not just me! I get the weird chest tingles too, I wasn't sure if it's sadness or what haha

  9. Hi :) I felt the same going for my first appointment after being referred by my psychiatrist, and the assessor screening me told me I didn't have autism (just super ADHD).

  10. Thank you for sharing! I admire how sure of yourself you are. Does that make sense? Lol. When I had my evaluation before I can do my assessment, the doctor asked me why I think I might be autistic and I completely blanked out and wanted to cry. I think I’m just so scared of being invalidated. I did do the “unofficial checklist for autistic women” and I had my sister and mom fill it out as well. I plan on bringing it, but I’m kind of embarrassed by how much is highlighted. Like the doctor is gonna say that’s too much. Which I know is silly? But still. I wanna get this over with. Again thank you.

  11. I don't know if this helps but I chalked up my being "dramatic" as the way I learned to imitate emotions from TV (cartoons and stuff) so now my reactions to things sometimes seem dramatic to others because I don't know how to communicate without "acting it out". Then there's meltdowns and being dysregulated all the time because nothing ever sticks to routine :(

  12. I wanted to respond something nice because it sounds like you are going through a hard time, so hopefully me saying that I experienced many the same things makes you feel not alone. I think it's at the crossroads of c-ptsd and autism where I started to feel that way too.

  13. I’m really scared of whales(whales r cool, they look cool and their sounds r cool, but it’s irrational.) I sorta feel similar to hippos but it’s like bad. None of these are genuine phobias. AND naval mines, they’re the WORST. I blame Nemo. I have such a hard time looking at them, they’re so ominous, why did we put that in the water?? And as a child I’ve always been terrified of puppets(I blame sh!t kids cartoons) and clowns(kinda), like the McDonald’s clown was near me once irl and I wanted to be nowhere near it. That’s it from the top of my head.

  14. I have the same fear because of finding nemo! I got scared of whales from the Christian bible- jonah and the whale (my kids bible had pictures) so I was petrified of taking a bath for years

  15. I am relieved someone else has that map fear too! I tried a VR headset today and could not tolerate it at all, I don't know why I can't but it's similar to that map/zoom in feeling

  16. It's been about 2 hours since I finished the movie and I think I've developed a general interpretation that can be used as a lens to understand some major themes of the film.

  17. I was looking for exactly this interpretation of Jupe and Gordy's interaction!. Gordy reacted to threat therefore Jupe was not considered a threat, or was potentially viewed as fellow exploitee. I like to think Peele is distinguishing between Jupe as a child with no intention to manipulate/exploit and Adult Jupe who moves to exploit Jean Jacket, OJ and Em. For me, Jupe characterised the way in which our connection to survival itself is corrupted.

  18. That sounds really rough Burnout sucks so much! I want to figure out how to pay someone just to take on the role of my executive functions because life is almost impossible,

  19. I am not sure if anyone has already said this (I can't go through all the comments/so apologies in advance).

  20. Sounds like it could be dreadful anxiety? I worked out it's to do with not being in control so it's probably both :) thanks

  21. It might be dread, I was working on it today and it might have something to with feeling unvalued? Not sure. Thank you for responding :)

  22. I struggle with this as well, I have started to get around it by using physical examples to explain things (I'm not formally diagnosed). To help my partner understand what it was like to be me (how I felt) I put a blanket over his eyes and got him to trade items with me from a washing basket to get this packet of oreos which was the "goal". He had to figure out without sight or asking questions what pattern I was using to trade with to get the "goal". He found it difficult and said he can understand why its difficult for me to communicate as I work off patterns. But that's what it feels like for me anyway, may not be the same for others. Hope that's helpful.

  23. Ooooo I love this example! What a brilliant way of having your partner understand your experience! I default to using word-pictures a lot. I told a friend that sometimes, talking feels like playing catch, and other times it feels like pushing a honey-covered baseball through sand. I use examples from movies or TV shows a lot (and have a ton of distress when someone hasn't seen the movie/show because it means I don't know how to explain myself to them).

  24. You are welcome :) I too panic when I'm trying to link in with someone using movie/TV examples and they haven't seen it

  25. 100% agree, I relate it to living in the Truman Show

  26. "Against all odds, infiltrate, storm the gate" I haven't seen that movie for ages and someone said infiltrate yesterday and it's not leaving

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