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  1. As a long-time fan of dancing my face off at String Cheese Incident festivals while using LSD to talk to my ancestors, I’m a big fan of this edit.

  2. Thank you so much for this! Still working on the enforcing part.

  3. I 10,000% understand. I’ve struggled with boundaries my entire life. In my early 20’s, I started trying to set boundaries like a panicked person trying to get out of a dark room, voice screeching and arms flailing. I lost friends in chunks at various points in my life because I was just flinging myself at boundary-setting after letting people walk all over me for so long (because I never knew how to set and enforce boundaries with them earlier in a relationship).

  4. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really does take experience and grace with yourself to learn and enforce healthy boundaries with people, especially if you were not given a good model in the first place.

  5. Well for all the yammering I’ve done, my real love language is podcasts, so here’s my offering for you in this moment…

  6. My husband has been struggling with this for all 3.5 years he’s been a father, and it’s getting better in increments. But it has taken sooooooo much tenderness, empathy, patience, thoughtful word choices and acceptance. Here’s a few things I’ve figured out along the way….

  7. Wow thank you! also will definitely listen to that podcast! sounds perfect for while baba is napping and I need some chill out time🥰

  8. Oh this is so awesome to hear!! Baby steps….post-traumatic growth is all about the baby steps and little wins.

  9. Not OP but I need to be consistent with this. I get overwhelmed just thinking about the fight that I have with my toddler. Today he simply walked away and gave me a firm NO. I was quiet proud of him actually 🫣.

  10. Haha, yeah go kiddo!! I give my kid LOTS of opportunities to assert his rights bodily autonomy because that is way super important to me. And also, I love the glowing report we got from the dentist so the brushing is a non-negotiable too:).

  11. There were two things I was struggling with. Swimming and brushing teeth. I am still struggling with the teeth brushing and yet swimming is going swimmingly well. I have to dig deeper to try and understand why this is an issue for me. I know what needs to be done and I have done a number of things but I struggle to be consistent. I have eliminated most of the physical problems. He didn't like a particular toothpaste. We have finally found a toothbrush that he likes. He actually doesn't thrash around as much since we got the new tooth brush but he isn't cooperating either. We will get there eventually. This is a me problem 😃

  12. Well I don’t mean to get overly personal, but do you have any consent violations in your past? The mouth is a “private part”, and probing into the mouth is incredibly sensitive. I’m a survivor myself and I’ve needed lots of tenderness to feel confident that I’m not abusing him. I listen to a podcast called

  13. Friendly and loving reminder that it’s not just “ladies” who menstruate 😘

  14. Excellent point, I have edited to reflect the correction, and thank you for pointing it out.

  15. This is 1 deluded bitch. I would personally ask her to open up the bible app on her phone and direct her to the horrific murders, genocides, infanticides, rape, looting and all shit in the OT and ask her point blank what sort of imaginary monster 👿 she’s worshipping.

  16. Minimally I’d direct her to Matthew where he says to go in your room to pray in private, and not to do it on the street corner…

  17. The podcast Your Parenting Mojo is deeply research-informed and she has many episodes that touch on parents staying out of the reading race (and other similar education-based developmental milestones). Also, for reference, the host has her masters in both education and developmental psychology, so she’s definitely someone who values education and has well-informed things to say on the matter.

  18. Ah, I gotcha. Well, if I feel up to it tomorrow I’ll either make a new post with the update or more likely just send it as a comment to each of the 17 of you that responded 🥰

  19. Definitely don’t do any emotional labor that excessively taxes you. but if it’ll fill up your cup and help you move forward, then I’m all ears. And if you’re ready two months from now, or a year, I’ll still be all ears 🥰🥰🥰

  20. Heck yeah!! My love language is podcasts so look out….

  21. Thank you so much! This looks like a great list. I love to ease into the evening with a good podcast and some knitting.

  22. Oh yay! I really do have several childfree loved ones who are gleaning my respectful parenting strategies combined with IFS stuff. Do you have IFS podcasts?

  23. Yes. He was diagnosed with Oral Phase Dysphasia at 1yo and we definitely got stuck in a feeding rut. So my delicate transition was to start putting the food in his hands rather than his mouth. Eventually, after putting his food in mouth with his own hands, he started to begin picking up his own bites. I still hand-feed some of the bites, but a tiny fraction of what it used to be.

  24. I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you found something that works for him! I will try handing it to him and see how that goes.

  25. May the odds be ever in your favor 🤞🤞🤞

  26. My in-laws used to spank my husband and his siblings regularly. Cut to 2019 when we had our kid and I spent 10 months meeting with them every week to see how they were with our kid and to talk to them about respectful parenting strategies. They’ve agreed to everything from elimination communication to consent culture to bedsharing. Now he has weekly overnights with them because they were fully onboard to do these basic things:

  27. Oh no, they caused plenty of issues for us. Luckily our agency is baller AF and has gone to bat for us multiple times.

  28. I prefer the term “TERB” (Trans Exclusionary Radical Bigot), because “TERF” let’s them keep the label “feminist” and I just can’t hang with that.

  29. When my FIL died, my BIL got physically violent with my husband and their already icy relationship went into the deep freezer. They haven’t spoken in years. And that’s fair, because my BIL is an asshole. There a third brother no one talks about because he’s in prison for murder. No one talks to him.

  30. I don’t know if this is just indicative of the company I keep, but MANY people I know had serious failings out with their siblings when their parents died. My FIL sued his siblings. My uncle stole from my dad. My uncle stole from my mom and other uncle, resulting in a law suit. Who are these super supportive siblings when mom and dad die?! 😅

  31. Lol, yeah I’ve heard some horror stories. I keep questionable company too!

  32. My dad has always been a snuggly, cuddly, co-sleeping dad to the five of us and it has been good for all of us. There was plenty of fighting and negativity in our home, but we were always able to repair it and cuddling was a huge part of that. To this day, my sisters in their 20’s and 30’s want to snuggle with me when I go back to Michigan to see them. I have one sister (27yo) who literally has to be touching me most of the time we’re together. When I was pregnant, she laid her head in my lap to watch TV and asked me to run my fingers through her hair. She slept there for over an hour and just kept running my fingers through her hair. Now my kid is 3.5 and we fall asleep in each other’s arms every night and it’s glorious.

  33. This has to be fake. There's no way there's a whole state in the US where people look up Kevin James porn.

  34. And Michiganders have no idea how racist they are…

  35. Yes! From 18mo to 3, I was doing great. Now as he creeps closer to 4, I have been having panicked moments. Recently my therapist and I figured out that 5yo is when I started experiencing CSA. So we’re working with some body-trust stuff and it’s starting to help.

  36. Oooo, body trust is such a juicy topic for me:)

  37. Yeah is it bad that I think her hurting me is worse than me being immature and not keeping up with chores and such? I really think marriage at seventeen wasn’t good. I should have finished high school and gone to college and stuff if I could. I hate that I’ve given my kids such a shit life and I want them to see something healthier.

  38. Yes this is it exactly! You are minimizing your own experience with your wife because it’s what you’ve doing since you were little. When a caregiver abuses a child, it’s intolerable for the child to think that their caregiver is in the wrong because the child’s life depends on their caregivers. So I’m the absence of being able to blame the caregiver, the child blames themself. Then they go one to blame themself for every problem in every relationship moving forward because that’s how their physical brain was physically built.

  39. I think they would play together, also argue and fight like most siblings do.

  40. I absolutely adore this response. Life is nuanced, lots of things are true.

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