I didn’t know therapist could have you sign a contract for 8 sessions! I’ve never heard of that and feel it’s unethical. I’m guessing that contract obligates you to pay her for 8 sessions? If so, is there anything written in there on how to void that?
Be honest! Tell her you can’t afford it and need to find a different options. Therapy can be expensive and not everyone can keep up with the cost, she will understand that.
Only a few times in inpatient physical therapy. He suggested I get back on my old medicine and give me a prescription then workers comp denied to pay it for like 2 months and I just haven’t taken it since
You should. It sounds like you suffered some mental trauma and a therapist would be helpful in processing through that properly. They can help with the mental anguish you are experiencing
I did whatever she asked of me our relationship never got to the point of us having actual sex but we did just about everything but that including handjobs, fingering, just about anything sexual that wasn’t dick in vagina
It’s not abnormal by any means. But do you like that it’s on all the time and that you’re mostly horizontal? That’s the important question here. If it is relaxing and recharges you, great! If you feel bored, lonely, hopeless, etc, then it’s something to change.
To be honest it really sounds like it’s necessary for you to move on. There’s a lot going on here that seems to be hurting you way more than it’s helping. You should never be afraid to talk to your therapist about how you’re feeling. This therapy is YOURS and you have every right to receive the treatment that feels right and is progressive.
People can be so damn passive aggressive and rude, and it sucks so much when people bring this into the workplace. I am also 7 months pregnant and was enduring some work place stress recently. It was starting to really affect me until I decided to just speak to my boss about it. We were able to talk it through and it all stopped. I’m not sure you have that option and if not, just work on being very intentional about creating boundaries and not letting petty people affect you.
I don’t think you’re over-reacting, I think you’re just reacting to something that triggers some insecurity. We all have a right to have an emotional reaction, what is important is how we handle our reactions. It’s ok to feel that way, just don’t jump to any long term conclusions until you feel you have fully processed things and can calmly respond. I think couples counseling would be good for both of you so that you can increase communication and understanding. And maybe even find a therapist just for you? That way you can process all of these things alone and feel validated.
You’re very welcome! I just don’t want you to feel like you’re being “crazy” in how you feel or like you’re being overly sensitive. You were triggered by this for a reason and you owe it to yourself and to the relationship to take care of your emotions
The money she puts aside for “fun”- does she use that for trips or other fun activities for you and your child, or does she keep that to do whatever she wants? Why does she want you to pay for it? Does she feel she can’t keep up with the bill?
At this point I've been working for 18 days straight to account of no-shows and reschedules from clients. I try to book 4-5 clients a day and see each of them for about 1.5 hours on average (with my agency, their insurance allows them a certain amount of units a week), but so many of my clients are unreliable. Ideally I'd love to just work M-F.
With my first (now pregnant with 3rd) I had zero morning sickness and it was amazing! My second I had mild morning sickness. With my 3rd I have had all of it.
I am 36 and only use aquaphor on my face. I rarely wear makeup and don’t have a daily skin routine. I have clear skin and few wrinkles. I think this works for me because I have otherwise dry skin and just don’t need much. It’s nice to hear someone else has had great success with a simple product!
I mostly just tried to lay out the facts. My partner is bisexual and talks about her attraction to men so it's not like she just "chose" women because they seem safer or something. My partner also grew up in a religious household where being queer was looked down upon and that if she had had the "choice" when she was younger, it would have been a lot easier on her and her familial relationships if she had ended up with a guy.
Hmm. If you want to go back I suggest you bring this up again. Maybe ask here why she had that opinion. And further state that it did make you feel uncomfortable. If she’s a good therapist this could be potential for further processing on both ends.
Part of my goal in therapy is to get help in figuring out what my issues are. I understand that a lot of people have very specific things they want to correct but I’m good at minimizing and going into it having a ready laundry list of things is very difficult. I think general wellbeing should be more than enough as a desired outcome, no?
I actually agree that this is a fair outcome. I have some clients that come in with very clear goals and objectives, which is great. I also have some that just don’t feel like things are right, and want to explore their hang ups- that’s fine too. Some therapist, however, don’t know what to do with clients with little or undefined goals. I suggest you discuss this with a potential therapists before getting started. Make it clear that you are looking for general well being and actually need help identifying clear goals.
Therapist here- some therapists will take on clients without really looking into the client’s specific needs/preferences. I hate this. I suggest asking for a free 10-15 minute consultation before booking and asking very specific questions. If you like them, schedule an initial appointment and again reiterate what you’re needing/wanting. It can take time to find the right fit. The relationship you have with your therapist is professional, but it’s still a relationship. And that takes time to establish and find the right person. Be patient but assertive. Leave the ones you don’t jive with. I promise there’s good ones out there. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions
This is important because 3 different poor evaluations indicates a potential pattern. And although a 3.8 GPA is generally good, in a PhD program it's potentially concerning because generally everyone is "All As" and the program has strict lines around non-A grades. So that plus the 3 different evals at least supports the idea of a potential issue. Not that OP is "not capable" of doing this work, but that maybe there are some broader issues to address first?
I concur with so many points made here. I would only add that I personally would have said “maybe you do deserve shame”, as I way to prompt further processing and discovery. I like to think that’s more the route they were taking. Because a flat “you do deserve shame” comes off very accusatory and judgmental.
I didn’t know therapist could have you sign a contract for 8 sessions! I’ve never heard of that and feel it’s unethical. I’m guessing that contract obligates you to pay her for 8 sessions? If so, is there anything written in there on how to void that?
No she did say I can stop anytime before that if I wanted to I’m just not sure how to tell her
Be honest! Tell her you can’t afford it and need to find a different options. Therapy can be expensive and not everyone can keep up with the cost, she will understand that.
Now you’ve got me really pondering this topic
Wow. As a therapist myself this is appalling behavior. I am so sorry someone you should trust took at advantage of you like that
I’m pregnant with baby number 3- my first two never had a schedule that early. What you’re doing is just fine! Listen to yourself and your baby!
Only a few times in inpatient physical therapy. He suggested I get back on my old medicine and give me a prescription then workers comp denied to pay it for like 2 months and I just haven’t taken it since
Mental health therapy?
I should probably look into it
You should. It sounds like you suffered some mental trauma and a therapist would be helpful in processing through that properly. They can help with the mental anguish you are experiencing
I think everything goes together to form the look you’re going for! Only thing that doesn’t jive are the shoes.
What did you do to pleasure her?
I did whatever she asked of me our relationship never got to the point of us having actual sex but we did just about everything but that including handjobs, fingering, just about anything sexual that wasn’t dick in vagina
Gotcha. You didn’t do anything wrong. She asked, you confirmed, and then tried to please her. She set you up.
It’s not abnormal by any means. But do you like that it’s on all the time and that you’re mostly horizontal? That’s the important question here. If it is relaxing and recharges you, great! If you feel bored, lonely, hopeless, etc, then it’s something to change.
Holy hell this kid could have easily broken his neck
[удалено]
To be honest it really sounds like it’s necessary for you to move on. There’s a lot going on here that seems to be hurting you way more than it’s helping. You should never be afraid to talk to your therapist about how you’re feeling. This therapy is YOURS and you have every right to receive the treatment that feels right and is progressive.
Curious are you a therapist?
Yes
People can be so damn passive aggressive and rude, and it sucks so much when people bring this into the workplace. I am also 7 months pregnant and was enduring some work place stress recently. It was starting to really affect me until I decided to just speak to my boss about it. We were able to talk it through and it all stopped. I’m not sure you have that option and if not, just work on being very intentional about creating boundaries and not letting petty people affect you.
I actually like what you have going. Pair with some docs or other black boots and you’ve got a look
I don’t think you’re over-reacting, I think you’re just reacting to something that triggers some insecurity. We all have a right to have an emotional reaction, what is important is how we handle our reactions. It’s ok to feel that way, just don’t jump to any long term conclusions until you feel you have fully processed things and can calmly respond. I think couples counseling would be good for both of you so that you can increase communication and understanding. And maybe even find a therapist just for you? That way you can process all of these things alone and feel validated.
Thank you so much! Such a constructive message. I do have a therapist and will be talking about this and processing these feelings with her.
You’re very welcome! I just don’t want you to feel like you’re being “crazy” in how you feel or like you’re being overly sensitive. You were triggered by this for a reason and you owe it to yourself and to the relationship to take care of your emotions
Why did she keep going for more?
The money she puts aside for “fun”- does she use that for trips or other fun activities for you and your child, or does she keep that to do whatever she wants? Why does she want you to pay for it? Does she feel she can’t keep up with the bill?
This is just ridiculous. How many days a week do you work and how many clients do you book on any given day?
At this point I've been working for 18 days straight to account of no-shows and reschedules from clients. I try to book 4-5 clients a day and see each of them for about 1.5 hours on average (with my agency, their insurance allows them a certain amount of units a week), but so many of my clients are unreliable. Ideally I'd love to just work M-F.
How many cancellations do you average per week?
Relax your entire body.
With my first (now pregnant with 3rd) I had zero morning sickness and it was amazing! My second I had mild morning sickness. With my 3rd I have had all of it.
Did you ever meet and hang out with this friend in person?
I am 36 and only use aquaphor on my face. I rarely wear makeup and don’t have a daily skin routine. I have clear skin and few wrinkles. I think this works for me because I have otherwise dry skin and just don’t need much. It’s nice to hear someone else has had great success with a simple product!
I mostly just tried to lay out the facts. My partner is bisexual and talks about her attraction to men so it's not like she just "chose" women because they seem safer or something. My partner also grew up in a religious household where being queer was looked down upon and that if she had had the "choice" when she was younger, it would have been a lot easier on her and her familial relationships if she had ended up with a guy.
Did she respond well to this answer?
I think she may have realized that I was not very happy with her questioning and changed the subject. No apology though.
Hmm. If you want to go back I suggest you bring this up again. Maybe ask here why she had that opinion. And further state that it did make you feel uncomfortable. If she’s a good therapist this could be potential for further processing on both ends.
Part of my goal in therapy is to get help in figuring out what my issues are. I understand that a lot of people have very specific things they want to correct but I’m good at minimizing and going into it having a ready laundry list of things is very difficult. I think general wellbeing should be more than enough as a desired outcome, no?
I actually agree that this is a fair outcome. I have some clients that come in with very clear goals and objectives, which is great. I also have some that just don’t feel like things are right, and want to explore their hang ups- that’s fine too. Some therapist, however, don’t know what to do with clients with little or undefined goals. I suggest you discuss this with a potential therapists before getting started. Make it clear that you are looking for general well being and actually need help identifying clear goals.
Therapist here- some therapists will take on clients without really looking into the client’s specific needs/preferences. I hate this. I suggest asking for a free 10-15 minute consultation before booking and asking very specific questions. If you like them, schedule an initial appointment and again reiterate what you’re needing/wanting. It can take time to find the right fit. The relationship you have with your therapist is professional, but it’s still a relationship. And that takes time to establish and find the right person. Be patient but assertive. Leave the ones you don’t jive with. I promise there’s good ones out there. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions
Sweet guy
What do you think could have happened to warrant the poor evaluations? More info may be needed.
This is important because 3 different poor evaluations indicates a potential pattern. And although a 3.8 GPA is generally good, in a PhD program it's potentially concerning because generally everyone is "All As" and the program has strict lines around non-A grades. So that plus the 3 different evals at least supports the idea of a potential issue. Not that OP is "not capable" of doing this work, but that maybe there are some broader issues to address first?
Agreed
I concur with so many points made here. I would only add that I personally would have said “maybe you do deserve shame”, as I way to prompt further processing and discovery. I like to think that’s more the route they were taking. Because a flat “you do deserve shame” comes off very accusatory and judgmental.