It's one thing to tour additional venues because you are unsure, but if you're describing the venue you already saw as "perfect" then IMO it's not necessary, especially if you risk losing out on your ideal venue and/or date by doing so.
When it comes to who pays for a bachelorette there is no standard and it depends on your circles and location. In mine the bride pays nothing and the attendees split the cost between themselves, but I've also seen it where costs are split evenly between all attendees (including the bride), the bride pays for some of her costs (ex. she pays for her flight and hotel split but everyone else pays for her food/drinks), the bridal party covers the cost, the MOH covers the cost, etc.
When it comes to inviting coworkers it's up to you but I'd only invite the handful that you feel really close to. You do not need to invite all 30 people just to absolve any possible drama. People that are old enough to be working are old enough to understand that not everyone gets invited to every wedding, especially coworkers.
In the vlog where she went wedding dress shopping she said she was supposed to go to her appointment only with her friend Tracy and then Jake just ended up tagging along. I assume they were at the gym beforehand and told him he could come if he wanted, and since he doesn't work a normal 9-5 was like sure why not. She also shows him in the vlogs frequently so they seem pretty close/definitely hang out outside of the gym.
The bride's family paying for the wedding is a very outdated "tradition" and is no longer the expectation for weddings nowadays. It's rude that your friend even asked, it's no one's business who pays for a wedding besides the couple getting married and the person/people that are paying.
As a bride I wouldn't care and I feel like the majority of people wouldn't either. As a guest though I would be slightly self-conscious to show up in the same color as the bridesmaids (like the exact same color, not like the bridesmaids are in dark green and I show up in mint green) for fear of getting mistaken for one. This is why I almost always choose patterned dress as a guest.
IMO this is normal since the damage retainer is relatively low. You can always ask them for clarification regarding if there are incidentals above $500, how and when they'll communicate that to you, how long you have to pay, will they give you an option to pay another way, etc.
100 person wedding, 4.5 hour long reception, ~20 guests don't drink alcohol. We estimated how much we needed based on the standard calculation of each guest having 2 drinks the first hour and 1 every hour after, which would have been 550 drinks and then we rounded up knowing we had a lot of guess who didn't drink and could return everything we didn't use (also bought from Costco). We spent somewhere between $500-750 on everything after accounting for everything we returned.
Thanks for the detailed response!! What were your signature cocktails? Are you happy with your choice of not having other liquor options for mixed drinks of their choice? Happy with your option of no shots? Did you cover the whole bill or do a toonie bar or anything like that?
We did mojitos as our signature drink. And yes happy with our options for no other liquors, shots, mixed drinks, champagne, etc. Our wedding took place in a high elevation city that 80% of our guests did not live in and we did not want people getting drunk too quickly, and also were told by our caterers that more options = the longer it takes guests to get served which we didn't want.
A local pool party afterwards seems like a perfectly good option for folks who aren't able to make your destination wedding. I would also invite your friends out of state in the event they're willing to travel to your town but not Cyprus.
I washed my black scuba and noticed some white scratchy streaks that made it look dirty. I washed medium heat water and hung to dry. Any idea what this could be and how to avoid it in future washes?
This happens when you use too much detergent or your washing machine needs to be cleaned. If you rub the streaks with a clean sock they should come right off.
I have ABC pants that I purchased from a lulu store near me 2 weeks back. The product hasn't been washed yet but I have worn it a few times. I noticed today that one of the pockets has a small hole. Can I just take the product to the store for a replacement? I have a receipt in my account.
So the venue coordinator works for the venue and generally speaking will not do things a planner would do like help you source a photographer or make design decisions. Make sure you explicitly ask and understand what the venue coordinator does and does not cover if you decide to use them in lieu of a planner.
I think the most courteous thing to do is go during a slower time like a weekday where they wouldn't be taking your appointment over a bride who intends on buying. Consider also going to a salon that's having a sample sale, if that's something you'd consider purchasing. And lastly I'd remember that bridal consultants are not like servers who get paid under minimum wage and rely on commission, they know that not every bride who comes in is going to purchase.
Yeah this is a huge red flag that you paid a deposit before signing a contract and they claim they won't give you one until the day before your wedding. It'll cost you more in lawyer fees in small claims court than the $1k you'd get back, so I'd exhaust every resource you can to get them to return it on their own accord and/or file a chargeback if you paid via credit card.
Sorry these drop threads have been late the past few Tuesdays - none of the current mods can run the drop threads when they're happening live. If you would like to help us run these drop threads (it's optional to join the mod team if you are able to run them but don't necessarily want to mod) please send us a ModMail!
Personally I don't see any world in which parents who are hiring babysitters to watch their kids would be okay with those babysitters drinking on the job and/or leaving the children alone in the hotel room to do so. While they're probably right that they won't notice 2 extra people drinking, if it'll ease your mind speak to the parents directly and make it clear that their babysitters are not included in the headcount for the bar and cannot drink.
On ours I put "Please RSVP by [date] on our wedding website. More information regarding travel, accommodations, and other FAQs can also be found on our wedding website [link to website] and [password]."
Assuming you live in a place where this isn't considered bad etiquette, I would print separate invitations for them saying "you are invited to the wedding ceremony of...." and obviously make sure they do not say "reception to follow."
Does your venue have a dance floor/are you hiring a DJ? If not I don't really see when would be a good time to have a mother/son dance, it doesn't really make sense to have one if there will be no dancing or amplified music.
There's no standard across all photographers. If this is something that really matters to you, be sure to ask up front if this is something that would be included in their package, if they'll do it for an extra fee, or if they won't do at all.
Given it's been a few years since I've used Airtable so if I remember how to use it correctly, my main concern with doing this is that everyone has access to the document and that someone can accidentally change someone else's RSVP or the guest list as a whole.
All of the ones I contacted had one main chef/owner that hired their own waitstaff so they could all only do wedding per day. I'm sure there are bigger catering companies that have multiple chefs that do multiple weddings, this just wasn't a thing in my area because I'm not in a big city.
All of this makes sense, except what do you do if you don't like your hair and makeup artist!? You've already booked them, but you don't even know of you like them -- are you just screwed then? This kind of happened with my hair person.
If you don't like the trial you either have to find a way to communicate that with them so they can improve on your wedding day or forgo your deposit to go with someone else. I'm not saying it's right but vendors do it this way because it protects them and puts all the risk on the client.
Have you checked out Paso Robles/San Luis Obispo? Paso has some gorgeous wineries (DAOU is my personal favorite), downtown San Luis Obispo has a lot of food options (check out Novo and Ventana Grill for fine dining), and there's some natural hot springs in the area as well.
For people this age I'd seat them together if they know each other/they get along, otherwise I'd keep them with their parents.
It's one thing to tour additional venues because you are unsure, but if you're describing the venue you already saw as "perfect" then IMO it's not necessary, especially if you risk losing out on your ideal venue and/or date by doing so.
When it comes to who pays for a bachelorette there is no standard and it depends on your circles and location. In mine the bride pays nothing and the attendees split the cost between themselves, but I've also seen it where costs are split evenly between all attendees (including the bride), the bride pays for some of her costs (ex. she pays for her flight and hotel split but everyone else pays for her food/drinks), the bridal party covers the cost, the MOH covers the cost, etc.
When it comes to inviting coworkers it's up to you but I'd only invite the handful that you feel really close to. You do not need to invite all 30 people just to absolve any possible drama. People that are old enough to be working are old enough to understand that not everyone gets invited to every wedding, especially coworkers.
In the vlog where she went wedding dress shopping she said she was supposed to go to her appointment only with her friend Tracy and then Jake just ended up tagging along. I assume they were at the gym beforehand and told him he could come if he wanted, and since he doesn't work a normal 9-5 was like sure why not. She also shows him in the vlogs frequently so they seem pretty close/definitely hang out outside of the gym.
I believe he is dating Tracy?
That’d make sense, I don’t follow him or her at all!
The bride's family paying for the wedding is a very outdated "tradition" and is no longer the expectation for weddings nowadays. It's rude that your friend even asked, it's no one's business who pays for a wedding besides the couple getting married and the person/people that are paying.
As a bride I wouldn't care and I feel like the majority of people wouldn't either. As a guest though I would be slightly self-conscious to show up in the same color as the bridesmaids (like the exact same color, not like the bridesmaids are in dark green and I show up in mint green) for fear of getting mistaken for one. This is why I almost always choose patterned dress as a guest.
IMO this is normal since the damage retainer is relatively low. You can always ask them for clarification regarding if there are incidentals above $500, how and when they'll communicate that to you, how long you have to pay, will they give you an option to pay another way, etc.
100 person wedding, 4.5 hour long reception, ~20 guests don't drink alcohol. We estimated how much we needed based on the standard calculation of each guest having 2 drinks the first hour and 1 every hour after, which would have been 550 drinks and then we rounded up knowing we had a lot of guess who didn't drink and could return everything we didn't use (also bought from Costco). We spent somewhere between $500-750 on everything after accounting for everything we returned.
Thanks for the detailed response!! What were your signature cocktails? Are you happy with your choice of not having other liquor options for mixed drinks of their choice? Happy with your option of no shots? Did you cover the whole bill or do a toonie bar or anything like that?
We did mojitos as our signature drink. And yes happy with our options for no other liquors, shots, mixed drinks, champagne, etc. Our wedding took place in a high elevation city that 80% of our guests did not live in and we did not want people getting drunk too quickly, and also were told by our caterers that more options = the longer it takes guests to get served which we didn't want.
A local pool party afterwards seems like a perfectly good option for folks who aren't able to make your destination wedding. I would also invite your friends out of state in the event they're willing to travel to your town but not Cyprus.
I washed my black scuba and noticed some white scratchy streaks that made it look dirty. I washed medium heat water and hung to dry. Any idea what this could be and how to avoid it in future washes?
This happens when you use too much detergent or your washing machine needs to be cleaned. If you rub the streaks with a clean sock they should come right off.
I have ABC pants that I purchased from a lulu store near me 2 weeks back. The product hasn't been washed yet but I have worn it a few times. I noticed today that one of the pockets has a small hole. Can I just take the product to the store for a replacement? I have a receipt in my account.
Yes
So the venue coordinator works for the venue and generally speaking will not do things a planner would do like help you source a photographer or make design decisions. Make sure you explicitly ask and understand what the venue coordinator does and does not cover if you decide to use them in lieu of a planner.
I think the most courteous thing to do is go during a slower time like a weekday where they wouldn't be taking your appointment over a bride who intends on buying. Consider also going to a salon that's having a sample sale, if that's something you'd consider purchasing. And lastly I'd remember that bridal consultants are not like servers who get paid under minimum wage and rely on commission, they know that not every bride who comes in is going to purchase.
Yeah this is a huge red flag that you paid a deposit before signing a contract and they claim they won't give you one until the day before your wedding. It'll cost you more in lawyer fees in small claims court than the $1k you'd get back, so I'd exhaust every resource you can to get them to return it on their own accord and/or file a chargeback if you paid via credit card.
I paid them via Venmo, would that still work out?
You can't dispute transactions on Venmo unless you paid the extra 3% on that transaction for the purchase protection program
Hi everyone, as always a reminder this AMA is not verified and mods cannot confirm the validity of any statements made by OP.
Sorry these drop threads have been late the past few Tuesdays - none of the current mods can run the drop threads when they're happening live. If you would like to help us run these drop threads (it's optional to join the mod team if you are able to run them but don't necessarily want to mod) please send us a ModMail!
Personally I don't see any world in which parents who are hiring babysitters to watch their kids would be okay with those babysitters drinking on the job and/or leaving the children alone in the hotel room to do so. While they're probably right that they won't notice 2 extra people drinking, if it'll ease your mind speak to the parents directly and make it clear that their babysitters are not included in the headcount for the bar and cannot drink.
On ours I put "Please RSVP by [date] on our wedding website. More information regarding travel, accommodations, and other FAQs can also be found on our wedding website [link to website] and [password]."
Assuming you live in a place where this isn't considered bad etiquette, I would print separate invitations for them saying "you are invited to the wedding ceremony of...." and obviously make sure they do not say "reception to follow."
Does your venue have a dance floor/are you hiring a DJ? If not I don't really see when would be a good time to have a mother/son dance, it doesn't really make sense to have one if there will be no dancing or amplified music.
There's no standard across all photographers. If this is something that really matters to you, be sure to ask up front if this is something that would be included in their package, if they'll do it for an extra fee, or if they won't do at all.
Given it's been a few years since I've used Airtable so if I remember how to use it correctly, my main concern with doing this is that everyone has access to the document and that someone can accidentally change someone else's RSVP or the guest list as a whole.
Are caterers really only one a day? I figured they had multiple staff they could send out
All of the ones I contacted had one main chef/owner that hired their own waitstaff so they could all only do wedding per day. I'm sure there are bigger catering companies that have multiple chefs that do multiple weddings, this just wasn't a thing in my area because I'm not in a big city.
All of this makes sense, except what do you do if you don't like your hair and makeup artist!? You've already booked them, but you don't even know of you like them -- are you just screwed then? This kind of happened with my hair person.
If you don't like the trial you either have to find a way to communicate that with them so they can improve on your wedding day or forgo your deposit to go with someone else. I'm not saying it's right but vendors do it this way because it protects them and puts all the risk on the client.
Have you checked out Paso Robles/San Luis Obispo? Paso has some gorgeous wineries (DAOU is my personal favorite), downtown San Luis Obispo has a lot of food options (check out Novo and Ventana Grill for fine dining), and there's some natural hot springs in the area as well.
It's up to you, but I think you're overthinking this and it isn't awkward at all for them to pose for a few photos with one another.