1. You're diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, and having reassuring conversations with some folks living in your head?

  2. Thanks a lot :) i think my therapist had talked about that once, not much, but I was also pretty dissociated. But it makes sense what you're saying so I guess I will pick it up and maybe look a bit more into it. I've actually pretty much forgotten that she had said something about it (and I still don't remember exactly what it was) 😅 so yeah, thank you 😊

  3. Of course you are, you know how many fictional depictions of Hitler there are?

  4. Yeah i just don't know if I have to be careful or something. Don't wanna get in trouble

  5. If you wrote a fictional biography of Abraham Lincoln in which you made him into a violent, racist pimp, the remaining Lincoln family or trust or whatever could potentially cause you some trouble, but parody is protected speech, so apart from blasting you on media and speaking out against the book, I’m not sure there’s a lot that could be done about it.

  6. NDA - Es ist dein Recht dich für und gegen Sachen zu entscheiden wie es dir beliebt. Theoretisch brauchst du nicht mal eine Erklärung dafür abgeben, zumal ein Pate zu sein auch keine Nebensache ist wie z.B. dem Kumpel ne Flasche Cola zu kaufen. Es macht auch wirklich keinen Sinn sich für einen Kumpel aufzuopfern, der nur haben möchte. Klar, kann für ihn deine Depression auch einfach zu viel sein (nicht jeder kann fpr jeden gleich viel da sein, ihm könnte sowas zb schwer fallen), dennoch klingt es so, als würde er sich eher zurücklehnen und dich machen lassen oder dir eben aus dem Weg gehen, wenn du gerade "nichts zu bieten hast". Ich kann mir vorstellen, dass seine Freundin dich ganz gern hat bei dem was sie so von dir kennt/über dich erfahren hat und vmtl eher auf ihren Freund oder die Situ sauer ist, statt auf dich. Also... dass sie sich einen Menschen wie dich für ihr Kind gewünscht hätte, es aber wegen der Umstände und Gründe nun nicht dazu kam und du das nun abbekommen hast. Evtl sind da auch die Hormone bisschen mit im Spiel. Mach dir nichts draus, du hast richtig gehandelt. Du solltest immer an erster Stelle für dich stehen und das bedeutet so ein Angebot dann auch abzulehnen.

  7. Mittlere Reife statt Abitur gemacht und dann endlich von Zuhause weg mit 15. Beste Entscheidung meines Lebens.

  8. I like the physical sensation of feeling him inside me as long as I am in the mood for it. So basically I would prefer a penis over some toy. Yet I don't like sex itself, for me it felt like just getting rid of being horny. I didn't feel closer like my ex had explained how sex is for him (feeling loved and close to the partner), more like the opposite while when we were cuddling, hugging, etc I felt so close to him and felt all the love I can give and could also only receive love with this. Not at all with sex. What I didn't like: almost everything. I find bodily fluids gross, I don't like this whole "clothes off, doing things, doing things, doing things, sometimes not even getting an orgasm and then putting on clothes again". It's just annoying and exhausting. I can simply just do it myself, where I also know what to do so that I like it. So much more simple and I can enjoy this way more. I also don't need to get touched in my private zones from others, it just feels wrong. Some more info: I also can't have fantasies of having sex with people, I get turned off very much from it 😅 idk. Sex is just nothing I need in my life, while romantically wise I can't get enough 😅 I also often cried after sex because I thought I was broken and everyone kept pressuring me that I am not asexual and just "didn't have the right partner" or smth like that. Even my therapist did. It's just now that I come to turns with being asexual and that it's okay. So again: I reaaallly don't need sex at all. Have no clue how others are in need of it, never felt this desire.

  9. Yes and no. My first breakup (talking about serious relationships here not the ones you had as a kid where nothing actually happened) was shit at first. I thought i will never find anyone who would love me. I stayed and cried in bed for two weeks, couldn't get up at all. Even going to the bathroom was difficult. But after these two weeks i felt more powerful. 6 months later i realized how shit this relationship actually was and was soooo happy about rhe breakup (still am). Don't want him in my life ever again.

  10. Damn. With what I've heard is when someone is mentioning their xy alter and denying the fact its a part of themselves (so basically the opposite of what you believe) its an indicator that something is off. Either its that they just read misinformation or that they (the patient) is faking. So either your therapist is trying to test you if your DID "is real" in a bad way or they are not informed at all about DID and shouldn't treat it. They might treat other stuff but not your DID in that case. Imo its the second one. Either way is bad and if they keep going like its a red flag.

  11. I really hate the "Your parent did the best they could" statement. I've heard it a lot, also in comparison to "your mom could only give you apples while you wanted oranges, she could only give what she had, you should forgive her since she didn't have what you wanted." Imo it's like victim blaming and making the issue or abuse smaller than it is. And I hate it. Even if they did what they could, they sucked and they should learn to get better. End of discussion. It's nothing of the "i know you couldn't do better it's okay" because it's not. Its not okay and usually they didn't change or understood the issue. I would have understood if your therapist wpuld have suggested to do something for yourself like writing down everything she did to you and let your mind be free with whatever needs to get out without sending it (since you mentioned she would just take it to make things worse) but not what they (your therapist) said. Its basically putting wood into the burning fireplace. Its stupid.

  12. We also got to the red door without keycard, sadly when I walked back to get it (my friend died walking back through the pool), my "find your gift" game was bugged and I died over and over until I had no lifes left. I won't touch this game again (if it stays like this) because i would need to redo it all over again and the bug really frustrated me. If there would have been a safe option, i would have simply closed and opened the game again but since that's not an option I just watched the ending on youtube.

  13. Well we opened the room in which you had to disinfect the radioactive items in order to get out of there.

  14. That's still considered the first map/save (backrooms). The second one is office. You unlock office when you used the second elevator, but sometimes there is a bug and you have to replay the first map again. So when you eventually used the second elevator and next time you can't choose office instead of backrooms (when you create the room), you sadly encountered the bug. Also the person you are playing with has to have it unlocked as well to start from there, otherwise they cannot join.

  15. You could try it out and when you feel uncomfortable with (if it even happens) the weight gain, you can quit it again. I did it with another medication. I just don't feel well weighing more, so my selfhate rose and it was a side effect I couldn't handle. Basically it's like any other side effect that can or cannot effect you and you have to decide if you can live with it. I know a guy who got nauseous from his meds (other ones) but he said that they help him so much, he doesn't mind. For me it would be a big no, because I can't handle it at all. But maybe i would also think differently if i'd have found a med that would help. In the end every body is different. You need to try it out to see what happens.

  16. Hey dear, yeah my parents used to yell or ignore me when I was sad or crying. I even got uninvited to family events because I "look too sad" even when I don't do anything except existing. I cut off contact with all of them. My grandma is a sweetheart but also doesn't understand when I don't feel well. Everytime I am crying she is comforting me first but than saying stuff like "you had such a good life, my life was way worse, how can you be depressed/sad/...?" But this I am simply ignoring since she is still there in the first place and not like my parents who didn't even give me one crumb of love then. So I get you. And what your grandma is doing (being nice one time but bad the other) is something called "breadcrumbing". She's giving you just enough so you stay but treats you bad otherwise. It's a manipulative technique and since your mom is a narcissist, maybe your grandma is as well. Idk if you want advice, if you don't, please ignore the next paragraph:

  17. I would first try to get to know how he is now and if his words are actually true by his actions. And if after a while (like a couple months) everything fits and my trust is back, I can imagine it, yes. If he can dump me and let me suffer he can also wait for me to be ready. Because if he really wants me, he would wait. If not, i dont think i'd be the person he'd actually want.

  18. I own a german Spitz and his coat is very easy to take care off. He loves to rub his back on sand and grass and just be goofy yet I never had any issues. Of course sand wont come off as soon as he leaves it but i dont think its the case in many dogs or human hair. Never had to bath my dog because of mud, dirt or something.

  19. "I don't want to lose you, you're too important to me" he said when he broke up. I said I need time but would like to be friends when I am ready. Months later we tried being friends but he gave me mixed signals, making me feel bad all over again. This is the case till today. All i do is keep him on distant because i simply cannot handle his whatever signals he is giving me (talking about all of his girl friends, he tried to match me on a dating app, told me how good looking i am and talking about sex with me, saying I (!) Broke up (which is not even .000001% true), He made his whole dating profile with things I prefer and like, he is wearing stuff i told him i like on men, etc). Its annoying af and have no clue what he is on about. Broke up, tells me i am soooo important yet all he does when we have contact is to hurt me. I dont get it. I really was willing to give this friendship a try and he just ruins literally everything.

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