The empty spaces on either side of Texas are just more Texas. The empty space under Colorado is where we store nuclear waste; people with fewer than three arms and two heads don't go there. The empty space north of Kentucky is the North Kentucky Void, and is currently occupied entirely by sentient .38, .45, and .50 caliber firearms who are violently racist against 7.62, 5.65, and 12.7 millimeter ammunition.

$200 a day for doing what I love doing? I'd last as long as the job does.

I was not alive then.

Please, God in Heaven, tell me that this is an April Fools joke.

A man shouldn't whine about people's hair. Unless he's a hairdresser.

Remember back in the 50s when the rallying cry was "Better dead than red?"

Don't touch it. It's evil. Find a group of time-traveling dwarfs and meet God.

I own a Bible, a Torah, a Quran, the poetic Edda, the vedas, the Tripitaka , numerous texts on Native American religions, Taoism, and still an atheist bitches!

A well-read atheist. The best kind!

As a follow up, I'd probably give the tank a soak of 2 and 4 WT. That means 7+ damage from one shot makes the tank blow up. That makes it so a generic pistol just needs one success to blow the tank (6 base damage + 1 uncancelled success).

I like this. The called shot adds setback, and the soak and WT make it somewhat resilient.

This is actually one of the reasons I ditched Netflix.

Stylish might help. It allows the creation and use of custom themes. I use a couple, though I don't write any. Not sure how hard it is to do.

Anything that pisses off billionaires is good for the rest of us.

Exactly. The kid was already embarrassing himself by acting like a fool; he just didn’t realize it until dad got called. 

Yeah. Keep calling his dad. Eventually the humiliation will get him to shut up.

Computer, end program.

I feel like Jimmy Carr sometimes takes jokes from “the public domain.”

Comedy is a publish-or-perish field. If you don't perform a joke on stage, write it in a book, or otherwise make clear that you created it, it's not really yours.

You may be surprised, but I used Word. It took bloody ages. I wouldn't recommend it 😁

Yikes. Your Dedication is definitely a 6.

More harsh than that. Most people don’t want to be in a courtroom, and lie to get out.Politicians beg us to be there. They beg for the opportunity to lie to us.

Call it "political perjury" and a lot of nut-jobs in Congress would jump at it without reading the fine print.

I see it as a kind of double-jeopardy. You have to die and suffer every moment of it. Pick one.

Oh god. The boomer would glitch. Thats how I answer telemarketers.

Awesome. And answer with a local accent so it's obvious you're lying.

Oh I’m full on Boston accent with it.

Wicked.

You're not alone. This has bothered me for a long time too.

Did you see my update where it got fixed by using the view menu?

Yes! Thanks!

I'm an American. Where do I even begin?

I did sleep somewhere else for a while :grimacing:

I wouldn't be sleeping at all...

The real question is "Will this job pay enough for me to afford nominal rent and still have enough money left over for food, gas, utilities, medical expenses, entertainment, and internet?"

Yeah. My grandmother was devout Catholic, and insisted that my sister and I be raised thus; however, my parents moved across the country, and by the time I was 7 or so, we stopped going to church.