1. I know what you mean. It sometimes feels like morality for a lot of NTs is based entirely on present discourse. It’s mean to say that someone is ugly to their face. But then you shift the context slightly (you’re talking out of earshot) and the target has shown themselves to be a bit awkward and it’s suddenly okay to say the exact same thing.

  2. Nancy was such a bitch in that library scene lol I kinda hated her.

  3. For real, maybe I'm just traumatized by these kinds of people but... come on, she's explaining why she's having trouble and you're completely self-involved about it.

  4. First time I’ve ever felt represented by a character in a show. Down to the walk and speaking style.

  5. Here's some of the ones I follow and go a little more in depth! All of these are on TikTok - @drjessicamyszak (also who I used for my diagnosis this year!), @adhdruids @nd_psych @genericartdad @likelysalty @jesdiverges

  6. I will look at these creators. And I forgot about that hashtag it should really speak to my experience. Thank you— this helps a lot.

  7. no doubt that there are good content creators related to autism on TikTok, as other commenters have suggested, but TikTok as a platform in general is not optimal for nuanced discussions (not unlike the other hell app that starts with T)

  8. That 50 character limit im sure really fosters productive dialogue /s

  9. They’re a troll dw about them! Virtual hugs back :)

  10. I lost my mom to cancer and in the months leading up, I was a mess, but only to a select trusted few like my boyfriend at the time and my mom and occasionally my best friend.

  11. Yep-- sounds exactly like what I was talking about. No obvious signs of grief, but just a long, slow burn where you look back at your life and you're like wow. It's been there the whole time.

  12. That makes a lot of sense to me. I’m pretty sure I have Alexithymia, and have always been bothered by my response to grief (mine and others’). I’m still trying to pick apart the difference for me personally between my trauma conditioning and… what is my normal, especially with respect to things like personal losses.

  13. It must be especially confusing with all of those layers of trauma and selfhood. I am glad that resonated with you and maybe it can help you better pinpoint how to support yourself.

  14. Wow what a way to find out that a bunch of people on this sub are transphobic. Not the part with people having preferences (people can have preferences!) but the underlying rationale. People saying “I’m straight”— implying that the trans man was never a man in the first place. People saying that they would be angry if they “found out they were dating a girl”— once again not seeing trans people as their true gender.

  15. I mean they wouldn’t be a woman. They would be a man. Genitalia does not determine whether one is a woman or man. Your comment seems to openly deny the reality of who trans people are.

  16. Happy Birthday and many happy returns! I am sorry that your birthday isn't going as planned and there is nothing wrong with wanting your birthday celebrated in a particular way. :)

  17. I love that you’ve been able to set boundaries with your friends. And it’s even better that you can separate the social symbolism of birthdays from what YOU actually want to do. Like someone else mentioned, it could be THE day to take care of and treat myself.

  18. I've never had my birthday celebrated if anything it's always either forgotten and treated as any other day or a excuse for people to get mad at me and treat me poorly. Often emphasizing my age and how I should be different or better or just normal. Happy Birthday and good luck. As a gift I suggest looking into privateer press rpgs since d&d is your special interest. Their story is pretty interesting they started as a group of friends wanting to play a custom d&d game and setting so they made a adventure and eventually published it later building a company around it. They recently have been remaking and publishing new rpg books.

  19. That’s interesting thank you! And yes I suspect mine is childhood related too. My birthday was actually the one day I felt loved and treated as special by my parents. So I end up feeling the opposite way about it as you do. I suspect it’s this way for a lot of people. Thanks for the gift idea!

  20. So this is going to sound harsh, because it kinda is, but it is where I am at in life.

  21. !! I can’t believe I’m seeing my experience reflected back at me. I do exactly this. I end up finding really nice people who would do a LOT for me but expect me to know or intuit when they can’t give anymore. They hint at it only. I CAN’T read hints. So I ask for a bunch of accommodations and favors and I don’t perform thankfulness and reciprocity in the right way. Eventually, they pull away and im left really confused. Like did I do something wrong? Did I not say thank you enough or with the right sincere tone? This comment put it all into words finally wowowow.

  22. Just be yourself. If your friend needs more personal attention trust yourself that you will notice, or ask the people around you to point out when they feel like they need more from you. People who dont like the way you are naturally really can just fuck off.

  23. The one place where the "just be yourself" advice is actually meaningful (this sub). Thank you <3

  24. HAHAHA... okay I would, but I worry that that kind of non-explicit communication does not tell them what they need to know. They won't see me interrupt them and know "maybe I should let them talk." They're probably just like "okay cool, let me just wait until she finishes so I can get back to my infodump after."

  25. I think it can be hard to recognize our own personal triggers. Although I think it's good to recognize this in yourself and accomidate to your friend, it's also ok to be compassionate to yourself too and realize that you're probably triggered by the word weird because it's been used as a weapon.

  26. I completely agree. My emotional reaction does come from somewhere— and I should pause to acknowledge that— but I should be fair in how I express it.

  27. My favorite thing that I've learned in therapy is "you're emotions are always valid, your reaction to the emotions are not always rational". It helps me keep grounded and look at how I react to things. Sometimes taking the time to understand what is going on can help change the emotions. It sounds like that's what you are doing with your friend. 😊

  28. That’s also my motto! Ever since I heard it! Glad it’s helped us both :)

  29. This makes sense to me. The only concern I have with something like SPD is when it's mashed together with a list of other diagnoses that each (less accurately) explain one aspect of autism.

  30. Hahahah I really feel seen. People are so afraid to just call it what it is. And the fallacious argument works! Because no matter which symptom you bring up, there’s always this sub diagnosis that sort of haphazardly covers it. God forbid you get the diagnosis that accurately explains everything you’ve ever experienced.

  31. It was! Although it was much lighter than it's sometimes portrayed in pop culture. After all, if you need to use all your strength to lift your weapon, you're going to get killed by someone with a lighter, faster weapon.

  32. I’m actually not huge into the small intricacies of medieval weapons and would usually scroll past a post like this, but you have such an easy-to-digest, visual, and visceral way of taking about them. I’m actually hooked.

  33. THIS IS SO EXACTLY TRUE. Maybe it’s the not wanting to be perceived?? So you associate the feeling of being perceived with the project and that puts you off completing it??

  34. I think I’ve had the same issues as you, that’s sort of why I talk to some people about some things and sorta break them apart so that I don’t put all the “pressure” on someone when needing help.

  35. Agreed. This comes across as really manipulative—though I know it is unintentional.

  36. 😢 this hits. I’m really hoping people will give me a chance then realize how effective I am when left to my own devices.

  37. This sub is something else. It's the first thing that gave me a sense of an actual community.

  38. When people give you SPECIFIC advice — not overgeneralized???? Shit hits diff.

  39. I think this is a super common sentiment among autistic women. I made a post about it too! Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m secretly actually quite smart or just as ditzy as they think I am.

  40. Please share the link I’m so curious about how their situation went.

  41. God, I’ve noticed such a difference in the way cis men and women are permitted to act with autism. Especially the inflexibility. It really shapes the way cis autistic men grow up, unless they do a lot of self-reflection and work. I’m sorry you had to experience this. You deserve better.

  42. It’s kind of specific to our country that has to do with a disgraced politician who is still running for office and who was disgraced for political reasons that hold no weight. A good comparison would be Hillary and her emails. I expressed frustration that the candidate was still running even though they were politically compromised and they vehemently defended them. It would be like someone being frustrated with Hillary running even though there was no weight to the accusations against her. It wasn’t anything bad. It was just the vehemence and treating me like I didn’t understand the issue even though I know they do.

  43. Okay then I think I understand why they reacted that way if we are going to dissect the interaction (btw, very much a fan of the thread suggestion!)

  44. This is amazing. Thank you! Do you know why it was so upsetting to me?

  45. I'm glad it resonated! I actually didn't mention anything about that because it seemed like you knew from your word choice! You said stuff like you were "baited" into the question, you answered the question "honestly," then they got "intense."

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