1. Idk shooting and stabbing people because they're not your race isn't great either. One traumatizes and the other one kills people. Depends on your morality, but imo death might be more merciful than endless trauma.

  2. Actually sometimes - when im on an positive upswing the intensity of my emotions are almost addictive (yep manic). A super power in the sense that other people will not feel this intensity. Of course it never lasts and eventually it swings the other way.

  3. Yepp, which basically translates to "when you're in the honey moon phase of a relationship you'll make both of you fall in love w each other. Them loving all your attention and love.

  4. You people get episodes. I have ups and downs but its generally always there

  5. Episodes mean getting triggered. Like you're with your partner and they express themselves a lil badly so you make a flip and your emotions take over. Not Like "hey I don't have BPD today" episode or "Hey I don't feel like slitting my throat in front of people" episodes. That's a constant in my very variable mind. But episodes are the moments when you're going bat shit crazy.

  6. I’m curious about how you would describe the feeing that you miss when you snap out of it. What does it feel like? Why do you want to feel that way again?

  7. Numbness? The worst is when I snap out of a super heavy one, because it'll leave me looking Back and seeing all the cringeworthy things, all the misstakes all the damage. While it also feels like idk, it sounds stupid as hell but my mind imitates the feeling as if there is a melody faintly running in the back of my mind that influences me to be this "original me". So after dropping out I feel like a shadow of the person that I'm supposed to be.

  8. Lol yes. I feel completely lonely rn, because I don't have anyone to talk or text. I have some "Friends", but we only ever do drugs together. That's all it is. I fucked up my only real friendship because I got drunk.

  9. I’ve been taking lithium for almost a year now for my dual diagnosis of bipolar and borderline. Honestly, it’s pretty great. I am a lot more stable, I hardly ever have suicidal thoughts anymore, and it even helps with borderline symptoms like splitting/being toxic towards my bf. There are seriously no bad side effects, of course there’s the issue of your kidney or liver, but that’s also why you get blood tested. It’s one of the most popular and safe drugs because of how effective it is with little to no bad symptoms and honestly if you wanna try it out I say go for it, but it’s important to know that everyone reacts differently to it and it might or might not be the right one for you. Only thing is you need to drink a lot of water and stay hydrated! Just for context i’m taking 900 mg. If you have any questions or anything feel free to DM me :)

  10. Many of my relatives have been on it and they all told me it made them feel extremely numb, like it the takes the caps off of the emotions. You still feel them but they are far less fragrant. Has that been an issue for you?

  11. I have a big Anubis arm piece because I plan on covering my arm with death related deities due to my chronic suicidal ideation from BPD. So, not really but kind of.

  12. Damn that actually sounds so cool dude, I Love it

  13. I did grow up with a single mum that had no time or energy to tend to my emotional needs and who has a hard time expressing affection. I've never seen her in a relationship either. Cam attachment issues be fixed?

  14. As long as you don't fit the anxious avoidant attachment style like I do, you're totally alright. Takes a lot of effort and is a lil harder to "fix" than the anxious attachment but it's totally fixable and no comparison to most other issues coming w BPD.

  15. Well, when you're in a relationship and harm yourself or your Partner it's always both 😳

  16. Well both are fairly awful when you're in the wrong bubble 😭 But at least you can choose your poison on reddit...

  17. I read this in the melody of "Clubrocker" hahahaha

  18. I intended it to be a reference to Pentakill, but whatever tickles your pickle

  19. I knew I was off about the Song 😭 But was it a 1st gen pentakill song?? I believe so right? I have a faint memory of it

  20. Yes, it's super hard to earn my trust even when it comes down to sth like compliments. In relationships I pull them in so desperately longing for love, and feeling manic because of the coccaine peak Like feeling of being in a relationship w them til the hormones wear off making me hate myself again and sinking deep into that hole.

  21. Whooooah I always thought I was so weird for feeling this way and so alone!! I mean I hate that you suffer too but wow it's so funny how you think and know you're alone but you're not after all lol I had an early traumatic experience with the death of my Grandma. I was with her when it happened. I think that maybe caused a lot of my worries and fears. Of course you don't have to share if you don't want, but maybe your fear has some kind of root like that, too?

  22. Same Story here, I was 7 when I was in the hospital w my dad to visit my sick grandpa and he died while we were there. When I care for a person I get so super paranoid and anxious about them and what could happen to them...

  23. I was admitted into college very early. I got in when I was 16, and I was 17 in my first year. Everything was ok, except that I'd get panic attacks and I'd drop out of important classes that were key prerequisites for other more advanced clases. Then I'd get into short depressive episodes that would make me drop out of classes before I could fail them. After that, I got physically sick too with an autoimmune condition on my feet and couldn't walk well (also went anemic) which made me lose more clases.

  24. Hold up, college doesn't mean doing your bachelor??? Wth, they told me College should be around what university is here in europe. How dare they fooled me!

  25. I totally agree, it is a red flag, that only means that they are not men who deserve your time, if they do not show interest, then do not show them interest.

  26. This is literally a both sided way dude.

  27. did she practically not lie about everything and tried ruining depp's life? Johnny was the actual victim 💀 everyone is right to bash her, and even though she most likely does not have bpd (bpd can't be diagnosed like the way she was "diagnosed", she did not fit the criteria either), bpd doesn't justify ones shitty actions, you take accountability for what you did rather than playing the victim

  28. It ain't about that. Johny abused her just as well as she abused him, ain't no arguing that but this is about how all these men use this trial as an excuse to justify their misogyny and to call women lieing monsters and whatever, that women can't be abused or are always the abuser and all in all they justify their hatred with her, putting Depp on a podestal that he ain't belong on, because he's been just as nasty to her as she was to him.

  29. Adding completely nothing, great job dude 😌 A waste of space, feelin familiar?

  30. this shouldn’t end badly though, it will only end badly if they don’t communicate and don’t have firm boundaries, you are waaaaaaaaay overreacting my friend, i hope this isn’t the way you go about things in your life

  31. Firm boundaries don't mean jackshit if you're not the kind of person for this lifestyle.

  32. I forgot about that possibility too, so regardless of which age extreme this guy’s in, this is still a total porn-ruined shitpost of an OP

  33. Man thanks ya'll for giving me confidence about this being fake because the whole story made me feel so sick to my stomache and all around... literally feels like a shitty script to a bad movie. Kinda taking the you series third season in and makes it even worse...

  34. Because of the instability of my emotional world and when negative emotions flood me over, I take drögs as a stabilizer. I know exactly how they'll make me feel.

  35. Oh jeez, been down there too before. Ngl I hate it and I feel so sorry 😰

  36. Man you seem like you need to let loose of a lot of Anger online, mijo. Grow up and stop being a bitch 😪 If you don't care for this content just move on, you're just ruining your own mood and other people's mood. Big F man

  37. This is an interesting discussion all around. And your English is fine :) Makes perfect sense how you worded yourself.

  38. Yeah I Heard that' too. I don't remember what it was cause im high as Shit. ,4/20 and such but I read it earlier when I wasn't high and in University so I dont remember jackshit. Jesus

  39. All good haha sounds like you’re enjoying the holiday. Right there with you on that one lol Have fun!

  40. Hahaha thanks man, it wasn't too good tho 😞 I was with the wrong people...

  41. Pew pew Im high know that feeling but yeah man fuck I should definetly be more confident, lost even my funny to this shit cause yeah fuck it. My Brian is tired. Imma jsut sleep

  42. I had an awesome evening today playing with my lil couisn and His best friend 😌

  43. Thats sounds so fun. How old is your cousin?

  44. It really was! Idk he's like 14 or sth? 😅 I remember holding him in my arms when he was a baby hahaha I'm a lil worried about him tho, because he's like me but in some terms even worse but also more intelligent than me. It's kinda awesome to somewhat see a smaller version of yourself tho 😌

  45. Yes, the brain changes from trauma during childhood, but many other mental health conditions can result in permanent changes in the brain due to childhood events including anxiety disorders, depression, and PTSD, so there is no reason why those would not be called neurodivergencies as well if that is your criteria.

  46. Yeah, it's genetics, family history of NPD or BPD, upbringing, trauma and the enviroment you grow up with or are in. Trauma mostly being the last drop to activate it.

  47. It’s in the uk! I think unis in general are very accepting about mental health problems here, the disability service here even gives support for depression and anxiety. Anything which affects your studies for a long period of time deserves support.

  48. Damn, I must move to the UK before the brexit ig HAHAHAHA

  49. A real true goth you are for sure brosky 😳

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