1. Do you actually believe this? Even just the tax burden here is so much higher - property taxes are $4k/year on my modest home here vs an absolute max of £3.5k where I lived at home (which would be a literal mansion), and in the US it doesn’t even include my trash collection. When you add the cost of medical insurance and daycare to taxes (which you have to in order to make an honest comparison, because healthcare is covered and daycare is subsidised to the tune of 30 hours per week in the U.K) I pay a FAR higher percentage of my income to taxes and the services that taxes cover at home.

  2. Daycare for two children in my LCOL city is nearly $40k a year, easily double the U.K. equivalent. My portion of premiums for my employer sponsored plan is only approx $2k per year for my family, with an OOP max of $7k, which we hit with ease. Those two things alone entirely wipe out any difference in “disposable” income in the USA vs Europe in your links, and from what I understand, I’m on the fortunate end of the spectrum for healthcare and daycare costs.

  3. My two month old was in ICU with RSV at the beginning of this month and we weren’t even directly around anyone sick. Honestly with how traumatic that experience was, the kind of person with the gall to go anywhere near a young baby while knowingly sick isn’t someone worth maintaining any kind of relationship with. As far as I’m concerned it’s evidential of being among the scummiest of scummy humans to be willing to risk making a baby sick.

  4. Tell me you sucked at your job and were an accomplice to shitty care/abuse without telling me

  5. Yes, so what the other comments said. Men are typically not allowed, and if my husband did go, it would be very awkward. The MOPS group is just the example I saw today, I tend to see this on Facebook groups and other places that tote having a “moms group“ as well.

  6. If you are looking for something MOPS adjacent, I’m assuming you are a churchgoer - it really takes getting to know other women through who also work. I am part of a group of professional career-driven working mothers who are from several local churches and it’s all word of mouth - I got invited after getting to know an older woman who leads the group. We meet every other Monday evening after kids are in bed. Our family also very deliberately moved to a church that is less suburban and more diverse with a lot of either dual income or working mother families.

  7. No that's against the law here, you would be fined massively if caught taking payment for looking after other people's children and not licensed

  8. This is BS. You’re in the U.K. based on your post history - the government doesn’t go around fining babysitters.

  9. Babysitting is totally different. You don't babysit 9-5. At that point it's considered childcare, which is licensed.

  10. Literally everyone I know with kids, as well as my own experience as a child, relied on some kind of “friend with kids looked after some other kids as a paid for favour”, especially in school holidays. Other mums of kids in school classes, friends of grandparents? It’s everywhere. I think this whole post is just a vent since you are shooting down everyone who offers a solution on the basis that it doesn’t fit the perfect idea of government licensed solutions. Which is fair enough, but it doesn’t seem like you actually want any help here, just a place to let it all out. I am sorry you are stuck in such a grim place with your current arrangements and hope you are able to figure something out that works for you.

  11. Go to L&D triage at the hospital not the ER! You will be seen immediately and they will also be able to work with your or at least an OB re finding different medications to try. Reglan and promethazine are both options - for a while I had to use promethazine suppositories as I wasn’t able to keep down anything orally. L&D triage were the ones who got that rolling for me. Re trying to eat and drink - it depends on the extent of your vomiting. My dr said try - it doesn’t matter what it is. Healthy or not - anything is better than nothing. For me liquids have been almost exclusively Panera lemonade or McDonald’s Diet Coke and my doctor is totally cool with that.

  12. I’m in fortune 100 corporate America not non profit but one of our directors has young kids and is absolutely militant on them being her priority. She totally transparently blocks off time in her diary for kids sports games or recitals or whatever. She talks about them in high level meetings. From what she says, her husband does the same at his similarly prominent role. That’s not to say that she doesn’t take the evening calls and all the other demands of that position, but it has been a cultural game changer to have her in executive leadership. Just want to encourage you to do the same - in that kind of position, you have so much influence for the future and work/life balance of the working parents coming up ten years behind you - I highly encourage you to make the most of that!

  13. I only do the journey sporadically for days/nights out. I had theatre tickets, but even trying to book a month in advance was getting rubbish prices

  14. You can definitely use a two together railcard. Costs £30 for a year to buy it but you’d have saved more than that in just the one trip.

  15. Mother of god, this is exactly why I asked you wonderful people 🤯

  16. I bought one shortly after my first was born and my husband was like…you really just bought yourself a bigger babybjorn haha

  17. Echoing everyone saying not to. I forgot my pills when we went on vacation at the start of June at 22 weeks having been doing reasonably well on them and thought it would be nbd. Took maybe 16 hours before I was vomiting every single thing I tried to consume. Was on the phone to my doctor’s emergency line getting a prescription sent to the closest pharmacy and it ruined the first two days of our trip

  18. My bill for a my 6 hour hospital visit last week at OB triage when I couldn’t keep anything down (2 bags of fluids via IV, bloods and urine testing, and I think 16mg zofran and some Pepcid and reglan via the IV) was $2800.

  19. Literally just commenting in case someone is looking this up next year and contemplating whether to buy it - we were super unimpressed. Beef is v poor quality and ours had a giant fatty gristle bit and was nowhere near as tender as a tenderloin should be (though we have never been impressed with any beef we have bought at tjs, so not surprised) and agree with other posters that there was an off putting smell to the mushroom part, pastry doesn’t stay put and there is a lot of empty space in the pastry at the ends. Glad it was only $15 down the drain but did put a bit of a damper on our Christmas meal.

  20. My father spent five years working Monday to Friday in another country and flying home for weekends for the same reason. No-one ever criticised him for doing so, and it meant the best of both worlds - great things for his career and our family income, no disruption to my mum’s career nor the education of me and my siblings. I don’t think it had any adverse effect on us. Not to be rude but your in laws need to back the fuck off and butt the fuck out of any decision that you and your husband make regarding your careers and parenting choices.

  21. I had bloody show on Wednesday (39+2) and still pregnant. Some sporadic contractions but no progress!

  22. Obviously stupid if you are declining it as an emergency treatment but in normal cases, your newborn writhing and kicking on your stomach as it roots for nipple plus the hormones released by breastfeeding are more than sufficient for the uterus to contract without intervention. It is not standard postpartum practice in countries with far better maternal mortality rates than the US, like the UK.

  23. The man doesn’t give a damn about his own wife and kid and yet is trusted to cut people open on a day to day basis?! Yikes. I know the surgeon stereotype exists for a reason but damn what a psychopath. I know this isn’t

  24. Not really a response but hopefully not going back to the same employer? I wouldn’t want to work somewhere that had such a blatant disregard for the FLSA. You absolutely should have been provided with adequate pumping breaks and space at work to pump - the fact that you were forced out of work for wanting to do so is entirely unacceptable.

  25. I went to the doctor for the same thing earlier this summer - hugely swollen and mine started weeping this gross oily substance. They just told me to take a cetirizine antihistamine, keep legs elevated and iced as needed and put antiseptic cream on it. No need for further concern unless redness and swelling significantly worsen (as another comment said, draw a line around the current area with pen so you have an easy reference) or you get a fever, all of which would be signs of infection.

  26. “My husband thinks I need to hire a babysitter for Sundays so I can catch up”

  27. Thanks for the support! He is a resident so he works 80-100 hours a week and when he is home he often needs to do some research work from home. This is just the phase of life we are in and I have had to make my peace with it as an investment into him completing his training. He does put his dishes in the washer and puts away his folded laundry :-/

  28. So first - I know residency is hard, having a lot of medical friends, but it isn’t an excuse for the entire burden of domestic chores/logistics for them to be lumped on you alone. I don’t know your whole situation obviously but think it is telling and reflects badly on him that you are expected to make peace with his lack of support for the sake of his career - it’s interesting the way you phrase it like that and not as as a sacrifice you are jointly making for the future of your family.

  29. Even in London the average house price is barely £485k, and the exchange rate to USD hasn’t been above 1.5 since before brexit. The ACTUAL average price of a UK house is about $300k. So OP, congrats on saving some, but ditch the BS about your expenditure being proportionate to UK housing costs.

  30. If you genuinely believe that 5*1.28 (the current exchange rate) = 7.5 and that discretionary spending of over £10k per year is proportionate to UK GDP of approx £28k ...well, I don’t know what to say.

  31. Absofuckinglutely not. Marriage is a partnership. There are things my husband will always be better at than me - so we do what he thinks is best with regards to those things. Likewise there are things I am better at than him - then it’s my way. But we love and respect each other and would also never do anything major without each others’ agreement! If we do disagree we work towards consensus and help each other understand our perspectives. The idea that in the face of disagreement you just do what the man thinks because he is a man is vile and any man who would pull that card instead of working for a win-win isn’t worth your time or anyone else’s.

  32. Currently almost 23 weeks, still almost constantly nauseated, vomiting, and unable to eat that much beyond carbs except in cases of very specific cravings. I worked out 5x/week before pregnancy and these days count it as a victory if I leave my apartment and get 3000 steps in a day (though Covid is at least part to blame since my gym was at the office and I’ve been wfh since early March)

  33. If a neurosurgeon can wear one for 12 hours during a surgery complete with full PPE and hot lights, and be trusted to be literally poking around in a brain with sharp tools while doing so, you will be fine.

  34. It doesn’t help now, but in future you can ask your OB to write the script with multiple refills. You should not have to stretch out what you have to last until your visits. My OB writes mine for 4 refills for me now. You can also always call your practice and ask them for prescriptions between visits. If your vomiting is uncontrollable over the weekend, please don’t hesitate to go to the hospital for rehydration. They can also issue prescriptions there and administer doses through IV to get you back on track.

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