You do not suck. Two under 3 is SO HARD. I recall those times as the dark ages, each day just trying to survive. It sounds like you had a busy weekend planned and everyone is tired. But your husband supported you and now you can take this opportunity to reflect. I would apologize to the 3 year old and also apologize to yourself. You are a human and you are allowed to have peaks and valleys in life. Your humanity and emotional maturity is revealed in how you regretted your behavior and reached out to your community for advice. Your 3 year old will be ok.
I absolutely love using a neti pot. My friend recommended it to me because it feels like your nose gets cleaned out similar to after swimming in the ocean. I have seasonal allergies and probably dust allergies too. Neti pot makes it so much more bearable. It clears out your nose in a way that blowing your nose never will.
He sounds like my six year old. He would also have an issue if a letter looked different and I’ve found that instead of arguing with him I would say “Isn’t that funny that they made their I without hats and feet?! “ and laugh like we are in on a big joke-sometimes then he will realize it’s an I. He also is a perfectionist and has a hard time when he’s not good at something. At school he had two “break cards” that he could use when he needed a break. The classroom had a calm down corner with fidgets and other sensory toys. At home we realized he watched way too much tv and have scaled way, way back. He was getting up early in the morning to watch tv and then would be cranky and exhausted all day, so we cut out tv in the mornings. We also realized he is very hungry but won’t realize it, so we are conscious about more snacks/earlier dinners. He decided he liked bike riding so we go on long bike rides frequently and that helps with getting him to sleep.
That is why I became extremely particular with my (2) kid’s activities. We were doing weekday swimming for a while at a small private pool, but that ended up not working for us because the owner liked to email me during the day to come earlier (30 minutes or more early) since we were the last lessons at 5:30, and would get upset if I didn’t see the email. Also, I specifically chose the last lesson time because I’m working!!! Next we tried soccer but it only met during weekday afternoons at 3pm for one, and the other just didn’t like soccer in general. We are currently on Saturday morning gymnastics classes for both, at roughly the same time, which works out best for all of us.
This is why I was so happy to find out that the orthodontist has office hours until 6:30! Such a kindness to working parents. As far as PTO, even if it’s not “use it or lose it”, I try to treat it as such. I am not in a managerial role but I am willing to bet that you taking PTO would have a positive effect on the rest of your team because it would demonstrate that your company values taking PTO.
I think your intuition is correct on this one and you now have proof. There is a different standard for your co-worker. Something happened for him to assert that “she knows her place” and she may be in a vulnerable financial position where she can’t challenge what he “believes” about her. Just a shitty situation all around.
My favorite Mother’s Day event at a daycare was pulling in to drop off the kids and seeing a big sign the kids had decorated. Staff took a picture of me and the kids in front of the sign. Then the kids handed me paper bags full of snacks they had picked out (granola bar, small bottle of water, yogurt cup, etc). And then I was off to work.
The timer is really helpful! If I have a messy kitchen, and I’d rather not clean, I will set a timer for 10 minutes and see how much I can get done. When the timer goes off, either I’ve made a sizeable dent in it and can finish it all quickly later, or I’m almost done and can spend a few more minutes to finish the job. It’s just getting over that starting hump.
Why on earth would they ask that?? Consoling her is THEIR JOB. Very very weird and honestly kind of insensitive to you when she just started and you’re already feeling anxious.
YES-this is (hopefully unintentionally) manipulating the OP. What the hell is she supposed to say? Also, is this really that uncommon? They should be able to distract a 17 month old and get her past this moment when she wakes up. I am annoyed for you OP.
$1,010.72/month for two elementary school aged kids to have YMCA aftercare Monday-Friday (approximately 2-6pm). This includes a discount for having two siblings. Last summer I paid $1,235.00/month for both of them to attend Y Summer Camp (8am-6pm) and it included field trips to amusement parks/the zoo/on-site rentals like playground inflatables. Does not include lunch but includes snacks year round. Edited to add more info.
Yeah, I find this “explanation” to be suspicious. An adult had a problem with their dog and asked a child to help instead of asking an adult? And when the child refused, they didn’t say “Can you get an adult to help me” but doubled down on having a child help? How does that make sense?
I’m on the younger end of Gen X (1978), so I’m in the position that while I have lost both my parents, most people I know haven’t been through that yet. I actually only keep FB because my mom’s page is memorialized on there and I administrate it - I go back regularly to read her posts and comments.
1979 here and feel the same way-it's not as common for the younger end of Gen X. I lost one parent and was blown away handling funeral logistics, career, parenting children, etc-meanwhile my most of friends couldn't relate to what I was going through. Thank you for sharing about your mom's memorial page, I think I would like to do that as well once my mom passes.
This is more of a region, but I heard that people from beachfront central OC (I.e. Newport Beach) consider beachfront Dana Point/San Clemente “Sandtucky”.
Your husband probably thought having dinner and cake at his parents house was enough. He probably doesn’t understand that it’s about the people you love being thoughtful to you, not just about a meal and cake. He’s going to continue to let his mom do this kind of emotional labor for him if you let him.
I agree. I’m also wondering if they go over to the in-law’s house for his birthday? Because he may really have thought his only duty was to make sure that happened.
The remote for the tv went into the plastic bin for train parts and we didn’t find it for two years (he wasn’t interested in trains until he was older).
I totally sympathize. I have a 6 year old boy who would watch YouTube or play switch for 8 hours straight if I let him. He also would display behavior like throwing things. So, I had to switch things around. If my plan was to go to the lake that day, I would try to do it in the morning before any screen time. Compliance to rules always declines for us after screen time. I would let him know that he may earn screen time for good behavior at the lake, and give a limited amount like 1 hour afterwards if he earned it. Then when I need him to stop, give warnings so he knows the end is coming. Over Spring Break, I did a 1 week digital detox like others suggested and was stunned by how it positively influenced him. I also hide the remote to the tv and the switch. I hope this doesn’t come off like I’m some type of great parent-this is just where we are at after a lot of trial and error.
I use the do the Gilad workouts on TV. Denise Austin too. In the terrible category I had a Body Flex tape with Greer Childers where you did crazy breathing exercises to burn calories.
You can file a grievance with your health insurance for delay in care against the office. Your insurance will investigate it and it will be a massive inconvenience for the office to provide the medical records, phone logs, and patient portal messages showing all of your requests. The office will probably get a corrective action plan assigned by the health insurance plan. This is NOT okay. You can also file a grievance with the department of managed health care and if the clinic is associated with a hospital system, I would file a grievance with their risk department or their patient relations department.
You do not suck. Two under 3 is SO HARD. I recall those times as the dark ages, each day just trying to survive. It sounds like you had a busy weekend planned and everyone is tired. But your husband supported you and now you can take this opportunity to reflect. I would apologize to the 3 year old and also apologize to yourself. You are a human and you are allowed to have peaks and valleys in life. Your humanity and emotional maturity is revealed in how you regretted your behavior and reached out to your community for advice. Your 3 year old will be ok.
I absolutely love using a neti pot. My friend recommended it to me because it feels like your nose gets cleaned out similar to after swimming in the ocean. I have seasonal allergies and probably dust allergies too. Neti pot makes it so much more bearable. It clears out your nose in a way that blowing your nose never will.
He sounds like my six year old. He would also have an issue if a letter looked different and I’ve found that instead of arguing with him I would say “Isn’t that funny that they made their I without hats and feet?! “ and laugh like we are in on a big joke-sometimes then he will realize it’s an I. He also is a perfectionist and has a hard time when he’s not good at something. At school he had two “break cards” that he could use when he needed a break. The classroom had a calm down corner with fidgets and other sensory toys. At home we realized he watched way too much tv and have scaled way, way back. He was getting up early in the morning to watch tv and then would be cranky and exhausted all day, so we cut out tv in the mornings. We also realized he is very hungry but won’t realize it, so we are conscious about more snacks/earlier dinners. He decided he liked bike riding so we go on long bike rides frequently and that helps with getting him to sleep.
This is great intel! Going to Hawaii with 8 people this year and will definitely hit up Costco!
That is why I became extremely particular with my (2) kid’s activities. We were doing weekday swimming for a while at a small private pool, but that ended up not working for us because the owner liked to email me during the day to come earlier (30 minutes or more early) since we were the last lessons at 5:30, and would get upset if I didn’t see the email. Also, I specifically chose the last lesson time because I’m working!!! Next we tried soccer but it only met during weekday afternoons at 3pm for one, and the other just didn’t like soccer in general. We are currently on Saturday morning gymnastics classes for both, at roughly the same time, which works out best for all of us.
This is why I was so happy to find out that the orthodontist has office hours until 6:30! Such a kindness to working parents. As far as PTO, even if it’s not “use it or lose it”, I try to treat it as such. I am not in a managerial role but I am willing to bet that you taking PTO would have a positive effect on the rest of your team because it would demonstrate that your company values taking PTO.
I think your intuition is correct on this one and you now have proof. There is a different standard for your co-worker. Something happened for him to assert that “she knows her place” and she may be in a vulnerable financial position where she can’t challenge what he “believes” about her. Just a shitty situation all around.
My favorite Mother’s Day event at a daycare was pulling in to drop off the kids and seeing a big sign the kids had decorated. Staff took a picture of me and the kids in front of the sign. Then the kids handed me paper bags full of snacks they had picked out (granola bar, small bottle of water, yogurt cup, etc). And then I was off to work.
I got a first aid kit for my car.
Similar to other responses:
The timer is really helpful! If I have a messy kitchen, and I’d rather not clean, I will set a timer for 10 minutes and see how much I can get done. When the timer goes off, either I’ve made a sizeable dent in it and can finish it all quickly later, or I’m almost done and can spend a few more minutes to finish the job. It’s just getting over that starting hump.
Why on earth would they ask that?? Consoling her is THEIR JOB. Very very weird and honestly kind of insensitive to you when she just started and you’re already feeling anxious.
YES-this is (hopefully unintentionally) manipulating the OP. What the hell is she supposed to say? Also, is this really that uncommon? They should be able to distract a 17 month old and get her past this moment when she wakes up. I am annoyed for you OP.
$1,010.72/month for two elementary school aged kids to have YMCA aftercare Monday-Friday (approximately 2-6pm). This includes a discount for having two siblings. Last summer I paid $1,235.00/month for both of them to attend Y Summer Camp (8am-6pm) and it included field trips to amusement parks/the zoo/on-site rentals like playground inflatables. Does not include lunch but includes snacks year round. Edited to add more info.
Perhaps in addition to telling kids not to talk to adults they don’t know, we need to tell adults not to talk to kids they don’t know.
Yeah, I find this “explanation” to be suspicious. An adult had a problem with their dog and asked a child to help instead of asking an adult? And when the child refused, they didn’t say “Can you get an adult to help me” but doubled down on having a child help? How does that make sense?
I’m on the younger end of Gen X (1978), so I’m in the position that while I have lost both my parents, most people I know haven’t been through that yet. I actually only keep FB because my mom’s page is memorialized on there and I administrate it - I go back regularly to read her posts and comments.
1979 here and feel the same way-it's not as common for the younger end of Gen X. I lost one parent and was blown away handling funeral logistics, career, parenting children, etc-meanwhile my most of friends couldn't relate to what I was going through. Thank you for sharing about your mom's memorial page, I think I would like to do that as well once my mom passes.
This is more of a region, but I heard that people from beachfront central OC (I.e. Newport Beach) consider beachfront Dana Point/San Clemente “Sandtucky”.
"phoney phallus" might be my new favorite alliteration.
I read it too fast as “phallus balonus” (the plural of phalli baloney)
Your husband probably thought having dinner and cake at his parents house was enough. He probably doesn’t understand that it’s about the people you love being thoughtful to you, not just about a meal and cake. He’s going to continue to let his mom do this kind of emotional labor for him if you let him.
I agree. I’m also wondering if they go over to the in-law’s house for his birthday? Because he may really have thought his only duty was to make sure that happened.
You bet. It’ll sound so obvious. Delete if not allowed.
Thank you for sharing the details. I would have 100% done the same as you! Now I know what to check. Thanks for helping another mom out!
Watching this felt like listening to music on the wrong speed. It made my skin crawl.
The remote for the tv went into the plastic bin for train parts and we didn’t find it for two years (he wasn’t interested in trains until he was older).
This is a beautiful remembrance of your father and I enjoyed reading it. He sounded so caring and creative, what a treasure!
I totally sympathize. I have a 6 year old boy who would watch YouTube or play switch for 8 hours straight if I let him. He also would display behavior like throwing things. So, I had to switch things around. If my plan was to go to the lake that day, I would try to do it in the morning before any screen time. Compliance to rules always declines for us after screen time. I would let him know that he may earn screen time for good behavior at the lake, and give a limited amount like 1 hour afterwards if he earned it. Then when I need him to stop, give warnings so he knows the end is coming. Over Spring Break, I did a 1 week digital detox like others suggested and was stunned by how it positively influenced him. I also hide the remote to the tv and the switch. I hope this doesn’t come off like I’m some type of great parent-this is just where we are at after a lot of trial and error.
I use the do the Gilad workouts on TV. Denise Austin too. In the terrible category I had a Body Flex tape with Greer Childers where you did crazy breathing exercises to burn calories.
Oh Gilad!! He was the best. He was a dreamy David Copperfield who exercised on the beach. Loved him!
This is so great. Just the description of the packing situation alone got me hooked! It’s so relatable.
You can file a grievance with your health insurance for delay in care against the office. Your insurance will investigate it and it will be a massive inconvenience for the office to provide the medical records, phone logs, and patient portal messages showing all of your requests. The office will probably get a corrective action plan assigned by the health insurance plan. This is NOT okay. You can also file a grievance with the department of managed health care and if the clinic is associated with a hospital system, I would file a grievance with their risk department or their patient relations department.