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  1. YTA. Even in this story you're not being straightforward. You start it off as if you moved in with your girlfriend but as the story goes on it turns out she was your roommate. Then you decide to pay more because of how attractive she is and a year later she slept with you. You purposely didn't have the conversation to avoid learning the truth because some part of you probably already knew. I'm guessing she decided on FWB because of the financial help you were giving her. Maybe she thought that was the arrangement.

  2. I didn't even know we had a flag and now I wish it would've stayed that way. I grew up here and I have no idea how I missed that unless I did know and my brain blocked it out. So hideous.

  3. YTA. You never warn the attacker in a real abuse situation because that puts the victim in greater danger. It seems like you went over there just to make a point because you were annoyed at the noise and thought your threat would shut her up. People who abuse their kids don't stop because a nosy neighbor makes an idle threat. They punish the victim for having to deal with said busybody and get better at hiding the abuse.

  4. This. Those kids could be getting in worse trouble if they are in fact in an abusive home. The mother will blame and punish them for OP's threat. You don't warn the parents if there's suspicion of real abuse.

  5. As some people have pointed out, it is insanely unlikely, near impossible. I feel like this is a psychological issue which you probably should get checked out. All the best!

  6. I hate anxiety, it sucks and messes with your world view. Please find a therapist or doctor to talk to.

  7. This doesn't sound like anxiety. My aunt used to get like this and she was schizophrenic.

  8. The problem is that there's still a lot of ignorance around depression because there's a lot of misinformation out there. Most people don't understand the difference between situational sadness and clinical depression. If you're close enough to people that you feel comfortable reaching out, then maybe it's worth an honest conversation about it.

  9. my parents had a messy divorce, my parents are not normal because they stayed with their affair partners after divorcing. my home life is not great right now because my stepmom who already causes enough issues is facing jail in a very publicised case. i guess i have a bit of trauma because i still can’t be around both my parents at the same time since they fought so badly in front of me while they were together. my first ever boyfriend also hit me and tried to strangle me. he only did each once though so it feels stupid bringing it up.

  10. You're clinging to this loser for all the wrong reasons. If your school offers counseling I strongly suggest you take advantage of that. Dealing with divorce is hard and it's even worse when a parent cheats, let alone two. There's absolutely no reason to stay with a liar. Focus on dealing with the trauma of the divorce instead of letting some guy hurt you. You deserve better.

  11. i know. he’s always portrayed himself to me as “different from the other guys” so i feel dumb and irrational for feeling this way about the best boyfriend i could probably have this age, even though i have friends in better relationships.

  12. You're definitely not dumb but when your parent's marriage fails it affects how you see relationships and what you tolerate. The best boyfriend you could have is the best you allow yourself to have. I know you're attached right now but just keep that in mind. It's also perfectly ok to be single. It leaves room to meet the right guy or to simply work on yourself.

  13. That's so insane. How do you probe a negative? Curious to see the answer to this one.

  14. YTA on so many levels! For starters, you don't snub family like that. I love all my aunts and you sound awful. I can't imagine having this type of relationship with them. Yikes!

  15. You're AUTISTIC niece. Every comment makes you sound worse since you refuse to acknowledge what a bully you are. I'm glad they're not talking to you. The best thing for your niece is probably to not be around you or your snobby little princess.

  16. NTA. Sending out the video and missing a person or two, maybe I could believe that. However sitting down to write out invitations requires a checklist. I call BS on forgetting that. Sounds like she was being passive aggressive.

  17. I feel this about my dog. My only hope is that I outlive her. I'm not old enough to think I won't, but I really hope I don't meet an early demise for her sake.

  18. I don't have kids and I haven't noticed any of this. Not really sure what you mean. If you have kids then I would guess that's why you get this more than normal? Can't really say I've noticed.

  19. I'm still searching for a car but my funds will expire in early September. When they request the smog, I got approved about 6 weeks later. The inventory is a bit hard to get and prices are marked up as well. What type of car are you planning on getting?

  20. I'm still debating because even though you get more for the plug in type, the price difference is crazy. It depends what tax credits I can get on top of that by the time I'm approved. Otherwise I'll be looking for a regular hybrid over 35mpg. You should find out about an extension. They said since there's a shortage they might grant extensions.

  21. I wanted to give you an update, I contact my case manager about extending it and how they gave me 1 extra month but I've been having a hard time looking for any car at MSRP.

  22. This program seems like such a cluster fuck. So on my end my 2005 Kia Sedona didn't qualify! It's a gas guzzler but apparently a "clean" gas guzzler. I wonder if anyone actually gets funded through this. Maybe when next year's models hit the lots you'll have better luck.

  23. Yeah I'm just 20. I tried focusing on what makes me happy but the issue is that it's the all things we used to do together. It's hard to move on from someone while doing things you associate with them.

  24. Then that's a big sign that this breakup was a good thing. You dated since high school and don't even have hobbies outside your relationship. Now is a good time to explore new things and figure out your own identity. Do you work? Go to school? I suggest you stay busy with either or both of those things and find ways to meet new people. Trust me it'll get better and it's always healthy to have friends and hobbies outside of a relationship.

  25. I have hobbies, just not hobbies you can usually meet people through (hiking, skiing, non-competitive swimming etc).

  26. You'd be surprised. There's Meetups for almost anything. In the meantime even if you do things alone it'll be good to form new memories of you enjoying those things without your ex. You might even consider taking a class at community college for fun. A lot of people in your age group there and they're cheap even if you don't qualify for a fee waiver. Being sad is normal, so I'm not trying to be dismissive of that. It just takes conscious effort to not give into the sadness. When the time is right you'll find someone again, but the best thing you can do for yourself is learn to be happy on your own.

  27. YTA. You basically forced her into a lifestyle to please you, not for her sake. I'm surprised she didn't dump you earlier.

  28. Not even a lifestyle, but an eating disorder. Sometimes I wonder if these stories are even real. This is psychotic.

  29. I remember getting downvoted to hell for saying if (I was a kid) my ball goes in your un-fenced yard, I shouldn't have to ring your doorbell to get it. Like it is just right there. And people were incensed. It made me realize good neighbors are rare these days.

  30. Reddit is full people that like to pretend to be hard in their imaginary worlds. In my experience, what's said here is not reflective of real life. I guarantee none of them would go confront a kid in their yard, or even have a yard.

  31. I'm Latina and that's the norm for us, too. It's absolutely rude to eat in front of others without offering. Very poor etiquette. Even more troublesome that he lacks empathy and "doesn't like" a 5 year old. What adult has ill will towards a child.

  32. I hate when people try to excuse toxic behavior as "cultural differences". The laws and language may be different, but it's morally reprehensible to beat your child bloody anywhere in the world. Being violent in general is for the weak minded. It's also troublesome that you're already abusing alcohol at your age, which tells me your environment is toxic AF. Stop normalizing any of this and just plan to get the F out of there as soon as legally possible.

  33. This Smog place did mine last year. I was denied because my 1992 Honda Civic wasn't destroying the earth enough. Oh well... good luck.

  34. I understand not wanting your cat to be around children who don't know how to treat it, and this isn't really related to your post, but I just want to draw attention to it.

  35. Yeah, obviously they're learning from their mother! So there's no one that can teach them differently when the mother will not enforce anything at home. I can't believe this is a serious comment.

  36. Based on your profile I see you're just projecting your self-hatred. I hope you get help.

  37. I’m studying to become a certified salesforce admin, but that certification is from salesforce itself and will definitely help my career.

  38. Certifications are different from certificate programs at schools. I'm QuickBooks certified but that's in no way a substitute for knowing accounting. It also isn't a years-long program that costs thousands.

  39. YTA - You judge your husband on unrealistic expectations. What solid research do you have to back up he 'be given' at 10% raise within 12 months? Meanwhile, during a recession you decide to renovate and spend a chuck of money toward a degree. If you want more money coming in then work as a team and find ways for YOU to generate $$. He is pulling more than his weight.

  40. This is something you should discuss with the university you plan to attend. It's a policy issue, not a legal issue, and they might offer a waiver just like your current school did.

  41. Why in the world are you confronting her like this when you know she can't be reasoned with? Do everything through the courts. This is completely traumatizing to the kids and as wrong as she is for hitting you, you are also wrong for creating this situation by creating a confrontation. Couples get so wrapped up in proving who the victim is in a divorce that they forget the only real victims are the kids. Get a lawyer and go to court.

  42. In my niave idealistic mind, I thought "maybe if I see her and I just ask her nicely that we can figure out a plan" I shouldn't have gone there now but I don't wanna not see my kids for months just because she's being horrible. So if she said I assaulted her even with the video I have, I'll be arrested and tried?

  43. Do you want your kids to see these confrontations instead? You tried, but as soon as she got belligerent you should've left. I can tell you from personal experience how awful it is to watch your parents get violent and it's so terrifying. Do it through the right channels. Waiting is worth not scarring them for life. I still hate both my parents for what they put us through and I'm in my 40s now. I'm NC with my dad and bare minimum contact with my mom.

  44. Exactly. Why just be miserable the rest of your life when you can be miserable the rest of your life

  45. That's the exact defeatist mentality that makes people perpetual victims and the exact type of people who therapy doesn't work for. A therapist is not a fixer. They're a guide to help you find your own inner strengths. If you're set on defeating yourself they can't help you.

  46. No but it can help you figure out a better path rather than just being miserable the rest of your life.

  47. I've said it before and I will say it forever, the south should've been allowed to secede. Then, now, whenever they wish. All of those southern states that want a theocracy can just fuck off.

  48. Your post is missing information that will help people help you. First and foremost, where are you located? Laws are not universal. Secondly, what does your lease say? Did you agree to pay for utilities? Third, what type of property do you live in?

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