Really? I invited you to show me where I used the word “maximum” in relation to two hours being a hard limit. If you can find it, I’ll admit I misspoke.
I think that's a fair call to make. I didn't fully type out the hour long conversation my mom and I had. I gave her an opportunity to explain herself. She did explain herself. A lot of the issues she brought up was that
Indeed. How on earth could you possibly socialize a child without setting her loose on a playground full of feral, undisciplined little assholes? Having another kid shove his hands down your pants, being told off for hitting him in response, being forced to stand in front of the class to explain why his actions made you uncomfortable, and then listening to his five minutes of excuses, self-pity, and anger over your retaliation is one of the foundational experiences of childhood!
Your “facts” are flimsy, at best. First, children who have learning disabilities or who aren’t neurotypical are more likely to be homeschooled due to insufficient support in the public school system. So that immediately screws with your idea that homeschooling causes children to be “socially inept weirdos” rather than simply being correlated due to outside factors. I’m going to need a solid, peer-reviewed study corroborating your “facts” surrounding the social skills of homeschooled children that takes all socioeconomic factors into account.
I said its wrong. But she is still upset because I debated I said it was bad but not cheating. I said we can use her definition if she wants. I feel she is trying to find reasons to be mad, and we can't find a way to move forward.
Like I said: She needs more self-respect. You killed this relationship, you want to put some ridiculous timeline on when she should “move on” from your pathetic behavior, and you obviously think you’re in some sort of position to be making demands. The entitlement and the selfishness on display here are astounding.
Oh so he told you that to him you’re a piece of meat to be used for his own sexual fulfillment, whereas his friend is a whole ass person worthy of respect and care and attention. As opposed to you, who’s only useful for sex.
I dont like when people say someone whos clearly innocent and naive and dont like causing bad scenarios would be ta if they dont stop this… no the husband would still be ta bc hes an asshole and not jot doing anything about it doesn’t make her ta it means shes probablt scared or smth. Can we stop with this?
Hell no! Your family is shitty. What sort of absolutely awful grandparents would demand that their grandchildren’s financial security be jeopardized for a party? Where’s the all the concern for familyyyy when it comes to you and your kids?
Honey he’s treating you like you’re the enemy. Keeping the inheritance secret, the way he describes marriage, his rationale for not wanting kids… All of it points to a total lack of respect for you as a person. To him, you’re some vile gold digging harpy who will take advantage of him the moment he lets his guard down.
I think people in third world countries have had to spend a weddings worth of time away from their baby. It should be easier for first world women because they have the resources you listed.
I think in third world countries women probably don't really have the option to be separated from their babies at all and I'm doubtful that they're leaving their babies to attend weddings.
In many developing countries mothers don’t have reliable access to clean water for formula or reliable refrigeration to keep expressed breastmilk safe. Nestle killed thousands of African babies due to this. So yeah, third word mothers might be forced to leave their infant for whatever reason. But a substantial number of those babies would die due to contaminated water, improper preparation, or improper storage.
YTA. Jesus fucking Christ, your poor kid… So what, are you going to force your daughter to have secret birthdays for the rest of her life because you can’t draw a line with your family over their unhealthy behavior?
To be fair with her, her dad is a pastor, her whole family is very religious so she probably does think it's inappropriate and isn't jealous or insecure, it's just that her beliefs are different.
She’s a really shitty Christian then… How, precisely, does she think Jesus was fed? Also has she not seen the ridiculous amount of early Christian art that depicts Mary openly breastfeeding?
The siblings are “going through” it just like a cancer patient’s siblings would be “going through” it. However that does not in any way, shape, or form excuse a grown woman harming an ill teenager for shits and giggles.
You were using the exact same rationalizations that every other enabler of abuse uses. From downplaying the abuse, to downplaying the medical condition, to blaming the victim for their eventual response to the abuse.
Having lived in Korea for the past three years (where my pasty white ass absolutely cannot find matching foundation because there’s not a large enough pool of white consumers to warrant its production here) I rather wonder if you’ve ever seen a Korean person before.
I will and I am. That's the thing I couldn't understand, why would he bring me here if he was just going to cheat? Why is he acting so possessive if he doesn't give a shit what I want? He's shown me where his priorities are and I'm not one of them. I'm lucky that my brother is here because as luck would have it, they got transferred to the same place. So he's getting off at 5:00 and he's going to come help me move my stuff.
He took you there because he figured that you would be more compliant without your support network nearby. The more dependent on him he makes you, the more shit he thinks he can get away with.
It’s both. When your cultural norms dictate that the firstborn son inherits and then takes care of his parents during their twilight years and then you decide that each family can only have one child, of course people would prefer to have a son. You raise a son and he takes care of you till you die. You raise a daughter and then she marries into another family and takes care of his parents until they die.
They did talk to him. I don't expect him to be cool with it but he needs to keep his polyphobic opinions to himself, and treat his maybe new stepmother with respect.
Such obvious bait. I always wonder if people who use this sub are like pro wrestling fans who suspend their belief and play along, or if they are genuinely stupid enough to believe every dumbass story they read online.
Yeah, no teenager is ever going to automatically treat the woman he first met by walking in on his parent(s) banging her nicely. She’s an intruder. Someone who came in his home and immediately made him uncomfortable and completely redefined his family structure.
You’re allowed to join or not join for any reasons. I never did the military, but isn’t the job taxed? If so, you’re not getting to keep all of that money, and it’s still a low offer compared to other jobs
A brand new (married) e2 stationed at Ft. Sill right now would make $2,149 a month base pay and gets $1,077 for a housing allowance. That doesn’t take into account BAS or any other allowances. An unmarried e2 wouldn’t get the housing allowance, but they still get three meals a day and free housing. It also comes with free medical care, a free degree, and potential on the job training/certs. Plus it’s a guaranteed income unless you royally fuck up, no surprise firing or anything.
Yeah you pick and pay for the seat you want until the airline overbooks the flight and decides to reassign you, then tells you that you’re SOL and need to beg other passengers if you want to be seated next to your toddler while you fly home to say goodbye to your dying grandmother.
The pre-deployment relationship self-sabotage is more common than you’d think. So much so that chaplains and counselors will often try to warn couples beforehand.
Changing plans last minute, violating agreements, demanding complete control over where a SO goes and when they go there, and being a generally demanding partner are red flags you say?
Really? I invited you to show me where I used the word “maximum” in relation to two hours being a hard limit. If you can find it, I’ll admit I misspoke.
I just don’t appreciate that you’re trying to put words in my mouth.
Damn, thats an excellent point about the trustworthiness.
You… had to have the concepts of integrity and trustworthiness spoon-fed to you?
Thank you!
Oh honey… No. Just, no.
I think that's a fair call to make. I didn't fully type out the hour long conversation my mom and I had. I gave her an opportunity to explain herself. She did explain herself. A lot of the issues she brought up was that
My son wasn’t complaining or upset because my SIL didn’t leave. My son would have been upset if she came to his party just to leave.
Then you’re doing a shit job of raising your son.
NTA obviously, she was being rude as hell.
Indeed. How on earth could you possibly socialize a child without setting her loose on a playground full of feral, undisciplined little assholes? Having another kid shove his hands down your pants, being told off for hitting him in response, being forced to stand in front of the class to explain why his actions made you uncomfortable, and then listening to his five minutes of excuses, self-pity, and anger over your retaliation is one of the foundational experiences of childhood!
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Your “facts” are flimsy, at best. First, children who have learning disabilities or who aren’t neurotypical are more likely to be homeschooled due to insufficient support in the public school system. So that immediately screws with your idea that homeschooling causes children to be “socially inept weirdos” rather than simply being correlated due to outside factors. I’m going to need a solid, peer-reviewed study corroborating your “facts” surrounding the social skills of homeschooled children that takes all socioeconomic factors into account.
I said its wrong. But she is still upset because I debated I said it was bad but not cheating. I said we can use her definition if she wants. I feel she is trying to find reasons to be mad, and we can't find a way to move forward.
She doesn’t need reasons to be mad. She has those in abundant supply.
She still wanted to try to make things work. If she knew she couldn't move on, she shouldn't have agreed to try.
Like I said: She needs more self-respect. You killed this relationship, you want to put some ridiculous timeline on when she should “move on” from your pathetic behavior, and you obviously think you’re in some sort of position to be making demands. The entitlement and the selfishness on display here are astounding.
Maybe you have wrong friends though. Brotherhood amongst men is Special, especially in the military.
Wow… What a fucking boot ass thing to say.
Oh so he told you that to him you’re a piece of meat to be used for his own sexual fulfillment, whereas his friend is a whole ass person worthy of respect and care and attention. As opposed to you, who’s only useful for sex.
Oh, honey… He’s beaten you down so badly that now you’re accepting scraps and putting pressure on yourself to smile while doing it.
I dont like when people say someone whos clearly innocent and naive and dont like causing bad scenarios would be ta if they dont stop this… no the husband would still be ta bc hes an asshole and not jot doing anything about it doesn’t make her ta it means shes probablt scared or smth. Can we stop with this?
If it were just her, I wouldn’t say that.
INFO: What aren't you telling yourself?
I genuinely, un ironically think that it’s super sweet that you believe this. But in my experience, you’re dead wrong.
No one has offered to pay. They’re pinched by it too but they feel it’s a family obligation that needs to be met no matter what.
Hell no! Your family is shitty. What sort of absolutely awful grandparents would demand that their grandchildren’s financial security be jeopardized for a party? Where’s the all the concern for familyyyy when it comes to you and your kids?
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Honey he’s treating you like you’re the enemy. Keeping the inheritance secret, the way he describes marriage, his rationale for not wanting kids… All of it points to a total lack of respect for you as a person. To him, you’re some vile gold digging harpy who will take advantage of him the moment he lets his guard down.
I think people in third world countries have had to spend a weddings worth of time away from their baby. It should be easier for first world women because they have the resources you listed.
I think in third world countries women probably don't really have the option to be separated from their babies at all and I'm doubtful that they're leaving their babies to attend weddings.
Oh god, just imagine it though:
In many developing countries mothers don’t have reliable access to clean water for formula or reliable refrigeration to keep expressed breastmilk safe. Nestle killed thousands of African babies due to this. So yeah, third word mothers might be forced to leave their infant for whatever reason. But a substantial number of those babies would die due to contaminated water, improper preparation, or improper storage.
YTA. Jesus fucking Christ, your poor kid… So what, are you going to force your daughter to have secret birthdays for the rest of her life because you can’t draw a line with your family over their unhealthy behavior?
To be fair with her, her dad is a pastor, her whole family is very religious so she probably does think it's inappropriate and isn't jealous or insecure, it's just that her beliefs are different.
She’s a really shitty Christian then… How, precisely, does she think Jesus was fed? Also has she not seen the ridiculous amount of early Christian art that depicts Mary openly breastfeeding?
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The siblings are “going through” it just like a cancer patient’s siblings would be “going through” it. However that does not in any way, shape, or form excuse a grown woman harming an ill teenager for shits and giggles.
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You were using the exact same rationalizations that every other enabler of abuse uses. From downplaying the abuse, to downplaying the medical condition, to blaming the victim for their eventual response to the abuse.
I am actually doubting you've seen a Korean before
Having lived in Korea for the past three years (where my pasty white ass absolutely cannot find matching foundation because there’s not a large enough pool of white consumers to warrant its production here) I rather wonder if you’ve ever seen a Korean person before.
Enjoy your eventual divorce! Maybe you’ll manage not to fuck up your next baby’s family unit.
I will and I am. That's the thing I couldn't understand, why would he bring me here if he was just going to cheat? Why is he acting so possessive if he doesn't give a shit what I want? He's shown me where his priorities are and I'm not one of them. I'm lucky that my brother is here because as luck would have it, they got transferred to the same place. So he's getting off at 5:00 and he's going to come help me move my stuff.
He took you there because he figured that you would be more compliant without your support network nearby. The more dependent on him he makes you, the more shit he thinks he can get away with.
Yeah I'm leaving him. He won't change, he's shown me that. I'm not going to be one of many.
Good luck with your fresh start and stay safe!
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It’s both. When your cultural norms dictate that the firstborn son inherits and then takes care of his parents during their twilight years and then you decide that each family can only have one child, of course people would prefer to have a son. You raise a son and he takes care of you till you die. You raise a daughter and then she marries into another family and takes care of his parents until they die.
They did talk to him. I don't expect him to be cool with it but he needs to keep his polyphobic opinions to himself, and treat his maybe new stepmother with respect.
Such obvious bait. I always wonder if people who use this sub are like pro wrestling fans who suspend their belief and play along, or if they are genuinely stupid enough to believe every dumbass story they read online.
Even if they’re all made up, it makes for good thought exercises.
Yeah, no teenager is ever going to automatically treat the woman he first met by walking in on his parent(s) banging her nicely. She’s an intruder. Someone who came in his home and immediately made him uncomfortable and completely redefined his family structure.
You’re allowed to join or not join for any reasons. I never did the military, but isn’t the job taxed? If so, you’re not getting to keep all of that money, and it’s still a low offer compared to other jobs
A brand new (married) e2 stationed at Ft. Sill right now would make $2,149 a month base pay and gets $1,077 for a housing allowance. That doesn’t take into account BAS or any other allowances. An unmarried e2 wouldn’t get the housing allowance, but they still get three meals a day and free housing. It also comes with free medical care, a free degree, and potential on the job training/certs. Plus it’s a guaranteed income unless you royally fuck up, no surprise firing or anything.
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Travel, job security, and benefits.
I mean, you get to pick your plane seat. I picked and paid for the one I want.
Yeah you pick and pay for the seat you want until the airline overbooks the flight and decides to reassign you, then tells you that you’re SOL and need to beg other passengers if you want to be seated next to your toddler while you fly home to say goodbye to your dying grandmother.
Isn't she the one throwing the tantrum here? I sat on greyhounds when I was pregnant with her.
You know, some mothers want their children to lead better lives than they did. Mothers who actually give a shit about their kids, that is.
YTA
It’s incredibly charitable of you to assume Op actually gives a shit about his child being enrolled in DEERS.
That's a good point. It doesn't help having a martyr for a mom, either. It all feeds into making his wife the target for his negative emotions. Sad.
The pre-deployment relationship self-sabotage is more common than you’d think. So much so that chaplains and counselors will often try to warn couples beforehand.
NTA. Red flags everywhere. Run. You deseve better.
The irony lol
?
Changing plans last minute, violating agreements, demanding complete control over where a SO goes and when they go there, and being a generally demanding partner are red flags you say?