Lay down in the middle of the bathtub.

With water or without water?

Without water.

Dumb and Dumber

I prefer neither. I just pull down my pants and start stroking.

A polyamorous relationship.

“It’s what makes a Subaru a Subaru”

Telling me that I need therapy just for being shy, quiet, not having a gf, don’t talk a lot, and don’t go out much.

I don’t think the know what therapy is for.

That is coming from my own mother telling that.

The baby was Genie's.. that's why Aladdin is in tears.

Lol Idk why but that sounds crazy, funny, and interesting at the same time. I wonder how the baby would look like. Probably blue mixed with tan.

Was it worth it?

I’m doing that right now.

That pizza is huge!

Was there ever a moment you wanted to use the bathroom but he was in there?

Went almost 2 years before I realized I had not once witnessed him brush his teeth

Have you ever asked him if he brushed his teeth?

I went away with my ex and saw his toothbrush for the first time. It had black mould growing on it and the bristles were so flat the toothbrush had a middle parting. I had a conversation with him about hygiene and told him to get a new toothbrush but when I stayed at his house two weeks later the cursed toothbrush was still there...so I ended it.

I wish I could see the moment you saw it two weeks later I would’ve been laughing.

People actually do this?

Yes some people do.

Depends on where we are. At home- no problem. In a restaurant- I'd think they never learnt table manners

I would laugh if I ever see someone do that in a restaurant.

I got this game for Xbox 360. Do I have to buy it again for Xbox one?

You ate everything on that plate?

I don’t want to laugh but this is funny. Just tell your boyfriend the truth.

Did you eat the whole pie?

I wish I had known he was a control freak. He would tell my grown ass what I'm allowed and not allowed to do. The sex was bad and I thought I was asexual...I wish I had waited. I wish I had sex with other people during college.

I like your username

???

Your butt plug, it can go even more further inside your ass while you and your husband have anal sex?

He fucks my pussy with it up my ass haha he doesn’t use his cock to shove it further up my ass😂

Oh ok now I understand.

I would like to eat some salmon or croissant filled with meat.

Imagine if there was a rock paper scissors

Honestly it already feels like the old car insurance commercial with the guy dangling a dollar on a fishing line

Is it this one?

It’s just missing a mexican sombrero

I’ll lick your pubic hairs too

I don’t like the music can it just be ambience the moment it was recorded

Skipping eggs is not the hardest thing to do.

Would you skip buying food completely?