You are valid

When you come across a feel-good thing.

I needed this today

  1. Our main gatekeeper was cast down by a persecutor so I understand that stress~ 😬

  2. Jesus Christ that sounds stressful… we’ve had similar issues with our persecutors that lasted for 3 years, and got completely severed from the headspace at one point. and it was not fun. Not even sure how we survived tbh. It’s still there but… we have a better connection so I don’t think we’ll get isolated from each other again anytime soon. I hope things get better for you, sending lots of love and strength… please message us if you need anything.

  3. My ptsd mostly. I hate being objectified like that, I get it unnecessarily all the time anyway. Some say that it’s a way to use others lust against them as a power move, only the people objectifying you will never see it that way. Just another object, not a person.

  4. For us, some don’t really identify as “human” but as… idk, non humans? Like, there’s my gatekeeper and manager who obviously don’t identify as human because of what they do in the inner world, however there are others who are just so used to survival and feeling foreign to others outside the system that they just no longer identify as that. Not like, idk. Elves or androids or anything, simply like… idk. Non human. Homunculi or diclonious beings of sorts with no further explanation or identification.

  5. That deadass happened to us last night. Barely cocon, but was very aware that our nonhuman gatekeeper had triggered awake from I assume a nightmare, and was very disgruntled lmao

  6. "the mortal plane" exactly! You get it!

  7. 🔵 That one voice that's aways telling us that we're pretty crazy

  8. My life. Every time I piece something new together I find something else that I somehow have to figure out

  9. Ugh. This is so beautiful. Strangely enough I feel like having a good relationship with my system is sometimes seen as invalidating (and it may just be me projecting this, idk…) because this disorder is supposed to be torture and it’s just… yeah, things aren’t always pretty. But they’re not always horrifying either. The type of love that we feel is entirely different than anything I’ve seen singlets experience and it’s just… idk. Sometimes I can’t help but feel privileged to have multiple souls, even if it’s so so hard to accept the situation and how I got here and where I’m going next but. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to make a beautiful life together.

  10. 🔵 We saw a lot of this everywhere on the community, the feeling that being a multiple is bad, traumatic and torturous. I disagree a lot with that, i believe being multiple is not the disorder as is, because it is an defense mechanism, it's the brain literally setting up a task force for coping and eventually deal with trauma that is in fact the real issue, once its dealt with, the system can usually stay, and be healthy and flourish. Our system, we, cured our traumas, so i will never believe it is an illness, it's the cure! I think that with proper guidance, therapy and team work, all systems can overcome their traumas, and live a somewhat better life, I'm not saying that is easy being a multiple, there is a lot of suffering, pain and conflicts involved, but i will never believe that being a system is a bad thing.

  11. Ugh. I believe this 100% as well. Honestly some part of me feels bad for singlets because… idk. It just seems so lonely and they can’t comprehend the kind of love that we can, or I suppose, they don’t experience it in the same way

  12. Yeah for sure. I talk with my alters all the time and we’re pretty comfortable co-fronting which has helped a lot with memory loss/feelings of incompletion… also helps because instead of getting angry over trauma we can simply share experiences and learn from them instead (it’s not always easy but it helps!)

  13. Oh man, I definitely understand this from multiple perspectives. But yeah man… this is totally wholesome. Maybe you can get a ring? Doesn’t have to go on the traditional finger… maybe like a middle finger or thumb or pinky or something, but I still think it would have the same significance and be nice. This is totally cool… as a fellow system we totally get it.

  14. Awe shit, I don’t know if my mom is a system or just severe BPD and I will never know but like… damn, sometimes I wonder

  15. You’re totally right. And I’m satisfied with never knowing because I’m not going to let her in and abuse me all over again.

  16. Bruh back when I was in school, whenever I had a test that I had no idea what the answers were I would always be like “ah! I know the answer. I’ll just dissociate really hard and somehow magically get all the answers right! Because that’s totally normal :-))” as if it wasn’t a fucking symptom lol… turns out that was my alter Akaisha (very goal oriented and loves making organized charts for my therapist these days lol)

  17. No for real! I don’t really know how to articulate it, but it is one of those things that’s incredibly lonely because of masking purposes… plus no one seems to understand or be able to deal with me, and the fact that I had to develop this way to survive because no one else was going to help me just… ack. Aches. Not to mention the really horrific side like persecutors and flashbacks and having nightmares while I’m awake but can’t explain to people…

  18. Anything bread or pasta related. I don’t know, it’s not that I don’t like it it just… it freaks me out. The thought of swallowing and digesting it makes me nervous… I don’t think it’s a carb-related thing because I’m not scared of carbs I just have a weird phobia of digesting anything that’s too heavy. I’m also afraid of meat because it tastes like it’s dead and I hate it.

  19. yes, my body has a hard time digesting food now also. I also worry that my body will fail me even though I want to get better. having support from others is very helpful. I really hope your doctor offers you some helpful advice. you are not alone in feeling the way you do, and I hope you can start to feel better soon

  20. Thank you so much. I’m pretty sure I have refeeding syndrome… it’s crazy, I didn’t realize how hard I was being on my body. I know I’m still not eating enough but I’m just so damn afraid. For now, mid-res seems to be whats working for me

  21. Ah. Alter appreciation is so nice… this disorder can be hell but there are some exquisite experiences unique to us that honestly… I don’t know. In a way it’s like being loved in an experience that no one else can really have and it’s just… so meaningful and beautiful, I think.

  22. Honestly, props to you for caring so much. It’s a rare find for someone to care so deeply about a partner with this disorder, as they are… definitely one of the darker mental disorders to have- not to mention very hard to navigate from an outside perspective as “singlets” are simply incapable of understanding these things personally enough to be able to navigate a lot of facets to the disorder. You have a lot of heart and I commend you for that. Secondly, this disorder… it’s very messy. Things will get better at some point, ask your GF (when you know for a fact that it’s her… even if it isn’t, she may still be able to hear you.) what you can do to help, maybe even pressure her if you have to because we are reluctant to accept support sometimes. It’s not going to be easy, and a lot of times there really is no right answer. When I was at my darkest place I remember wanting someone to just lay on top of me and kiss my forehead a million times and remind me that I exist. Not sure if this will help her, but it might… dissociation is a bitch and we need the reminder sometimes. If you have to stay with her 24/7 to make sure she doesn’t SH you may have to, I think more than anything telling her something along the lines of “I care about you whether or not you choose to self harm, and I exist outside of your disorder and I am real and I still love you.” May help. I had an alter who did this and it made my SH instincts subside to a bearable level. It’s going to be tricky to navigate, if you know someone who may be able to help you you may have to reach out. If you know a safe alter to contact, try saying their name- if you know who the gatekeeper is (basically the person who manages the inner world) that would probably be best. Sometimes alters are easier to contact than the host… I don’t know. Lots of advice from members of my own system, but hopefully it all makes sense.

  23. Yes, and it’s very hard to deal with especially when it comes to relationships with people because they never know how exactly I’m going to respond to any given situation. Like, some alters who don’t remember trauma don’t mind touch all that much, if anything they crave it. Some alters with abandonment issues love to touch people, others with abandonment issues hate it. Alters who are more of a caretaking subtype typically don’t get triggered by much because they don’t remember much about our trauma, and others get hyper-triggered and overstimulated at every little thing. It’s… ugh. It’s confusing. We’ve been rapid switching a lot lately too which doesn’t help out the situation that much.

  24. Anorexia has been with me for a long time, probably since I was 10 or so, but it gained a lot of prevalence when I was 14 and really rocketed off when I was 17. I’m 20 now and she’s been super feisty lately 🤡

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