1. I can't speak on the mental illness aspect of this, but your baby is only 7 weeks old. Its a fragile newborn and not for display. I understand why she doesn't want the baby away from her. I even kind of understand the overbearing feeding thing. Also, women go through a lot of hormonal changes after pregnancy and postpartum anxiety is very real, especially in someone who already had anxiety. I understand your frustration, but you've got a newborn still and your obligation is to the new mom abd baby now. If your family wants to meet the baby, tell her you'd like to set a time in the next month where they could come to her house or your house to see the baby for an hour or so. Give her option of being there. Set a time limit. You need to be sensitive when you're dealing a brand new mom, bpd or not, and it sounds like you aren't being very understanding of what she's dealing with. Also, postpartum periods are no joke. I wouldn't be in the mood to entertain anyone either if I was bleeding profusely for weeks, which is what the first postpartum period is like. You aren't being reasonable in this situation. You're being selfish.

  2. The disorder itself, the defensive/deflective impulses, the disorganized attachment style/issues, these things are not evil.

  3. My favorite is False Evidence Appearing Real.

  4. Yes, it's abuse. There's no repairing the relationship damage this kind of behavior causes.

  5. I understand this moment. Went through it with my ex, it began happening when our son was eleven and escalated until he was fourteen and no longer afraid to say what he thought. Our son has now chosen to cut off his father and I completely understand why.

  6. I wouldn't seriously date someone who drank daily from habit and couldn't tolerate going without. I've seen up close and in far too many people the life-ruining effects of habitual and binge alcohol consumption. Alcohol doesn't just impact the alcoholic; it effects everyone around the alcoholic.

  7. I mix whey and soy protein powders with no ill effect. There's no reason not to mix any foods you want to mix.

  8. I've been making cranberry scones with my Costco bag of cranberries.

  9. https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Ahg0IWnyDPpKwIrrogOis?si=j0HbAfAeTGG1VoEmC5QvSw

  10. Deleted, because posted in the wrong place.

  11. Not even just retirement. When they have a few days off in a row and they just loaf around demanding food

  12. Like a child on vacation from school.

  13. So good. I really like the information about happiness and learning and focus that Huberman has been sharing lately. Speaking for myself, the abuse cycle turned off my capacities for joy, creativity, imagination, expansion. I wish I could say that leaving the relationship restored those things, but it hasn't. I've just been grinding through the years.

  14. I take the progressive approach. It leaves you slightly more vulnerable, but good boundaries will protect you.

  15. Grey rock is like slo-mo ghosting, equally effective but slower. It requires more self-control than many people have when freshly blasted out of the BPD relationship. Grey rock is fantastic for dealing with those with whom we cannot cut off completely.

  16. They want attention. Negative attention is still attention.

  17. Practice on yourself when you're alone. By this I mean, say out loud "I want __" and "I don't want __" until you're comfortable saying these things.

  18. In my experience, making the other person aware of the conflict cycle merely increased the frequency and escalated the intensity. I've seen this play out in two romantic relationships and one friendship.

  19. Everything is a performance to gain some kind of attention. Don't trust anything.

  20. Reverse psychology is a tactic used by many manipulative people. We can even do it to ourselves without meaning to.

  21. Oh my god I wanted to break up with him at the first screenshot, and then I realized there were several screenshots.

  22. I have never been approached by a stranger when I have been with someone else.

  23. Yes. Claimed to be enlightened/awakened, couldn't see his own shit even when he stepped right in it.

  24. I dislike the contempt and loathing of people who love a niche genre or fan fiction or anything "common" instead of "literary."

  25. Yes. When I met her, she eventually opened up that she had a long line of exes who had abused and assaulted her. Her previous ex, she spoke about like he was the devil incarnate, but when I finally met him by accident, he struck me more like Milhouse from The Simpsons. That should have been a major red flag.

  26. When I realized that he was portraying me as abusive to his family and to our therapist, that was the reason to justify my leaving the relationship. It wasn't that I didn't have reasons to leave before, it was that his accusations of abuse were a reason for leaving that he couldn't argue against.

  27. My ex can't stick to his visition schedule of every other weekend and holiday because he's a semi-truck driver. So I gave him full access to our kids. He can come see and pick them up whenever he wants, if he gives me a 3 day notice. This has worked out really well for us. Maybe it can work out for you too.

  28. Fall cold and flu season is worse than usual this year. RSV and the rate of child hospitalizations has been in the news for a couple/few weeks.

  29. 🤦‍♀️ How can anyone possibly think this was a good idea??

  30. People who spend more time entertaining fantasies than actually engaging with people and living presently in the world can make some crazy choices.

  31. My ex found relief through his acupuncturist and Alexander Technique therapist.

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