Congressional Karen

I'm in this with you.

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  1. Nobody is answering the real question: why does the apple have a knife? Has the great fruit uprising commenced?

  2. I am confused. Are toothbrushes bad? Do they kill flowers? Am I gay now? Where did the first guy go?

  3. Glass!!!! I use a squeegee after ever shower and really never have to deep clean. There is no chance for anything to build up, and it only takes about 30 seconds.

  4. Can I get someone to produce vinyl stickers of this face? We can stick them over glory holes and guarantee no nut November this year.

  5. Burning trash is extremely similar to burning fossil fuels. Most trash being burnt is plastic, since paper and metal are recycled at high rates. Ive seen it being refferred to as carbon neutral, which couldnt be further from the truth.

  6. While the whole world could learn from you lifestyle of growing your own food, not driving, and not using electricity for things like the internet, we still have a few people who produce trash, even while you wag your finger at them. Is it better to put mixed trash, including putricibles that will emit methane, into a boiler, or just stick it in a hole and burn natural gas to produce electricity?

  7. Whoever is her surgeon, should quit his job.

  8. He took away gravity. Checkmate. We just have to deal with it now.

  9. 58,200,536 birds affected. We’ve broken the record set when Obama was president. Wild times.

  10. Wait. So, presidents infect birds?!? I need to biology better.

  11. It's cooked without oil so I would wager the salt won't stick nearly as well as you think. I'll try most things once.

  12. Where should we meet? I have lube, a horse costume, seven picture frames, a full bladder, and a curiosity for the limits of human endurance.

  13. hello I would like to present to you my new business model

  14. That's actually a good point. Now I'm conflicted.

  15. How the hell did they get a photo of my little captain in costume?!?

  16. Do NOT consume water from any airplane’s water tanks. I have seen snide many aircraft water systems from my time as an airline employee. I have a hard time even washing my hands on a plane. Instead, take the thermos to a restaurant or coffee shop in the terminal and ask them to fill it with hot water.

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